seperis | fandom

I'm not sure it's unsettling enough to make a conscious choice to be self-aware about what stories in a kink meme I gravitate to.

However, in the interests of full disclosure, here are the things that I really wish I liked:

1.) Slave AUs - okay, I can't even explain this one, but a lot of it has to do with my embarrassment squick that is hit by them too often. They borderline me, because I like D/s, and I've even liked it at the slave level D/s, but the consent is what makes it work for me because hey, it's fairly hot for someone to desperately beg someone else to put them in a collar and tie them to a tree (substitute your choice here, it's one in the morning and I just came off three hours at the AI kink meme reading you have no idea what; I don't even know what I was reading). Consent is the panacea of the embarrassment squick. Mostly. I can still get hit by it, but then I just skim. It's weird. But I wish I liked them, because a.) there are a lot of them and b.) I'd like to actually write one. But seriously. I can squick myself in the embarrassment department, which isn't easy because it's like tickling yourself. It's a good sign when I cringe from myself I shouldn't be writing it.

I mean, I feel I should write it because it squicks me. Like, not to cure the squick but to examine it in a really meta-like, post-modern I-need-a-hobby-that-isn't-hyperexamining-the-source-and-my-reaction-to-it sort of way. Or just so I can blunt the edges of the squick and enjoy it, because seriously, this cuts off a lot of otherwise readable fic and it's depressing when I find myself in the kink-meme staring at 'necrophilia' going "yes, this squicks me so much I want to cry hysterically, but there's nothing else to read". No one should have a moment like that.

2.) I was less specific in my role choices. This is just--I get a preference and I'll break it once in a while, but me and

avilio_18 had a really sharply defined moment talking in email about what we considered in character and I realized, yeah. I'm like really really specific sometimes. This is not specific to what I write, weirdly enough; SGA I had Rodney topping three quarters of the time, but I preferred it the other way around while reading. No idea what that's about. But it is annoying because again, it cuts off like, a random percentage depending on fandom of stories I can't get into and see above. Not on.

3.) Mpreg - okay, this is tricky, because I have read and loved it, but for the life of me, even knowing this, my knee-jerk is AVOID AVOID FLASHING LIGHTS and yo, I beta'ed a freaking mpreg series that I spent quality time nagging the author about, and then once upon a time wrote it myself, but--there you go. I get people who don't understand the attraction of it because I get the same Flags of No, but then I read it and love it because it's awesome. And yet. I have to convince myself to do it every damn time.

I was thinking of making a list of my kinks that actually bother me or make me curious (in fandom; I don't feel particular shame for what I put in as keywords on asstr.org because hello, someone wrote it, who am I not to appreciate their work? You rock, author of fic with keywords I will never admit to anyone, ever), but that ends up a sociopolitical statement that I cannot imagine I'd be interested in making. Sexuality and sexual desire for women is already politicized, evaluated, judged, and recontextualized in fandom, and I'm uncomfortable with my body pretty much always; I can't get away from that. I can, however, avoid adding a new and exciting layer of judging myself on top of the way I already do. I do not need to layer cake my judgment. Though I'd kill for a brownie right now.

I wonder what it's like to feel comfortable in your skin and with yourself. I mean, I get that the human condition apparently requires we never have a moment's peace, but you'd think the human condition would have a failsafe to shut that shit down once in a while so we wouldn't end up circling ourselves madly chasing a non-existent tail for enlightenment or at least something close to comfort. I'm asking for like, once a week, one hour. Or so.

Yes, it's almost two and this is what passes for deep thoughts. I'm going to go look for porn now and hate insomnia like whoa.

Sgastoryfinder social experiment?

On one hand, who doesn't go to sgastoryfinders to read the hilarity of some of the requests? OTOH, astroturfing requests for lulz in a community based on good-faith requests feels weird somehow. I kind of thought the funny was in the sincerity of the search and the way people remember things, in almost random bits of plot or dialogue or scene and why some things that seem insignificant to the author or even other readers make such a lasting impression that they define how the story is remembered. It was funny to see your fic remembered as the one where John wore pink or Rodney got a hangnail after he ate a donut, but also fascinating that something so small could define it, and try to work out why and how. And in any case, it was kind of flattering that anyone remembered it well enough to look for it at all because they wanted to read it again. The results either way are the same, but I feel kind of weird for the people who searched for the fic and those who wrote the ones that were found and didn't know they weren't doing something nice for someone else, but participating in a joke on themselves.

OTOH, it's two days post-con and my sense of humor is on par with a slug in the sun and I seriously am scheduling myself like, a weekend with Comedy Central or something. My recent personal tragedy involved a broken nail and a search for a file that took on epic proportions ending in a bitter exchange when it was found Child had absconded with it for reasons I decided I just didn't want to know, but for the record, I'm getting uncomfortable with him having an empty aquarium that is slowly being filled with layers of sand and decorated with rocks in a way not unlike a place you plan to store, oh, some sort of lizard. And frankly, how a nail file fits into this is information I just do not think I am ready to know.

How is everyone else's week going?

ETA: *winces* Okay, made it to second page of comments and there are actually some people who were upset by this. I apologize if anything I wrote here made them feel more uncomfortable. I can see their point on feeling unhappy they thought they were doing something nice for someone else and find out now they were kind of a punchline instead.

ETA 2: Mea culpa. Objectivity does indeed fly out the window when it's a close friend and cowriter whose fic ends up being involved. Thank God for people bringing me sympathetic post-vacation slump Snickers.

I apologize for my initial response if it came off flippant, because--yeah, no, that's pretty shitty behavior. I don't really participate in fic searches in public all that often, but I'm pretty sure if I did, I'd like to know I was starring in metacomedic performance art for the amusement of someone and their friends.

ETA 3:

ineptshieldmaid in comments states the post has been taken down. More in the comment.

ETA 4: Thanks to

raine for linking me: here toft apologizes with a longer explanation of her motives.

Now that I am not exclusively locked in a panic cycle about surgery....

So I missed apparently a new discussion on ableism at VVC. I saw the original discussions about the wording of the original policy and the public apology immediately after and the start of revisions, but was there something specifically in the last couple of days that happened that is leading to more discussion after that? As I'll be really honest; I stopped reading my flist days ago when I realized that yeah, this entire surgery thing was becoming real.

Due to the fact I don't have disabilities that need accommodating--ADHD doesn't count, and the occasional outbreak of claustrophobia during occasional vid shows is thankfully rare and usually just requires walking it off outside--I'm just mostly engaged in reading catch-up to see what's happening.

On that note: *hugs* to

amireal,

milly, and

fan_eunice. I'm not sure what else to say; I'm so sorry for what you are going through right now, and I wish I could do something to help. I'm online tonight. I'm pretty sure the joy of my textual presence is not what anyone sane would call consolation, but if you need to talk, or you know, rant! I am here for you.

From

musesfool here,

kittystrife is wholesale reposting and taking credit for episode reviews, meta, and--in a weird turn of events--personal posts. I'm going to go on a limb and assume her loyal commenter is maybe like, not a person herself.

Also posted to Fandom Wank, so toddle there for more details. And boggling. Apparently she like, edited Aja's post for profanity before posting it? *frowns* The ways of the wild plagiarist are unknown to me.

Child: What slash pairings have you written?
Me: Merlin and Arthur, Brian and Justin, Adam and Kris...
Child: Adam? Lambert?
Me: Who else? Clark Kent and Lex Luthor...
Child: Superman????
Me: Duh.
Child: Can I write NC-17?
Me: ...and that's unexpected.

Later:

Child: I feel sorry for Captain America and Wolverine. They were best friends and Captain American died!
Me: He'll be back.
Child: *sighs*
Me: *pats his back* How...good of friends?
Child: *eyes me suspiciously*
Me: No reason.

The thing is, his sex education was kind of brutally frank and lacked euphemisms. If he goes this direction (doubtful, he's not quite there yet), this is going to be like, a cross between a Disney romantic comedy, Nightmare on Elm Street, and like, IDK, Gossip Girl. We're talking like, post-apocalyptic Beauty and the Beast with the word breast used to be edgy. Maybe.

And people wonder why I think the future is going to be awesome. There's an entire generation of fangirl spawn coming up to flood ff.net with badfic and reinvent the wheel all over again.

He has a twitter, a facebook, and a DW account that he got for his birthday, he's almost able to password lock me from the three gmail accounts he knows I know about and the five he thinks I don't, along with three yahoo and several messageboards and all his online games. I know how to reset all of them and disable his computer and he's going to figure out how I do that soon. It's like the most awesome arms race ever, and I have five years of this to look forward to.

Ladies and gentlemen, my son, age thirteen. I did say once I hated to be bored.

ETA: Child henceforth wants to be known as Serpent when I write about him. He left in a huff when I couldn't stop laughing.

Um. Wow.

You'll Get There in the End (It Just Takes a While), read by

revolutionaryjo in mp3 and m4b. I'm in the middle of downloading it now. I have never been able to read it straight through, so this will be new world to be able to listen to it.

God, this is cool. No words.

Thank you very much,

revolutionaryjo. I can't wait to hear what you did with it.

Part A

Is complaisancy a word? I have seen it written but it keeps being picked up by the dictionary as misspelled and this is working against my zen.

It's bothering me, okay?

ETA: Complacency. I love

cofax7 so much. I was kind of going crazy.

Part B

More podfics of my Five Things fics! by

fleurrochard, including Five Times Merlin Couldn't Take His Eyes Off Arthur, Three things (or four, or five, depending on your inspiration!) that Merlin doesn't know about Arthur, but will do, eventually, and Five magical creatures Arthur didn't kill. She makes them sound like, amazingly deep and awesome.

I love podfic.

Part C

The Broccoli Test on DW, which makes me kind of nostalgic for a time I wasn't in fandom.

So it's like, not uncommon for me to rec new comms I'm reading, but usually I do it under flock in case it turns into a dark place of wank or for plausible deniability I was ever there or posted anything ever, but this one I'm still curious about because I'm not sure where they're going with this. Fanspastic advertises itself thus:

Fanspastic is a space by slashers, for slashers, by women, for women, and unashamed of it. It is not your mama's fandom knitting circle. There are no communities, we have no membership or cliques. Fanspastic has an editorial staff and an editorial point of view. It's not personal: it's fandom.

[Disclaimer: I have been reading it from a link from a friend for several weeks and posted the Broccoli Test link to metafandom since I thought it was funny and I was in the nostalgia mood for fandom gone by. And I admit it, I want to see how other people react to it, since I'm in the positive but confused mix of the spectrum.]

Anyway, on the strength of this entry on the new Dr. Who, I kind of fell in love. Well, that and the fic header breakdowns.

It's not that I'm against in any way the way meta in fandom has grown and expanded, but a leavening of fannish meta-ishness (meta-lite? meta-fandom-specific) is really nice as well. Yes, I do indeed miss ship wars sometimes. Shoot me now that I can still say that without irony.

five ways arthur almost found out about merlin, but didn't., read by

fleurrochard. Okay, if you don't recognize this one (I didn't!), it's here.

...I may have had to listen to this like, three times so far.

Okay, this week is going far better than like, my life would suggest up to now. I seriously expect a pony on the front door to show up. With wings.

Okay, seriously, all I had to do was give blanket permission? Really? *glee*

Job Orientation in both audiobook and mp3 form, read by

eosrose, which is the one where Merlin is emo and conjures up a tower. I'm halfway through and seriously, it sounds amazing. And I love how she does Merlin.

This day ended much better than it started.

Podfic! Okay, officially, this is better than ponies.

Truth Is a Whisper in audiobook or mp3 form, read by

crinklysolution. I've gotten five minutes into it and surprisingly forgot what exactly the entire first section entails. *g* Link goes directly to her entry.

Note to self: wear headphones when listening or this will require explanations of my hobbies that Child only understands in a vague theoretical way. Save the concrete understanding for when it will be most effectively hilarious to play it in his hearing.

Thank you

crinklysolution. So far, this is excellent.

I seriously love podfic, and yes, I do get this huge kick out of people podficcing my fic.

The Past, in Plural, read by

rhicauldrie who has a lovely voice and I had such a good time listening to it.

A while back, there was a post--somewhere--about why people do and don't like listening to podfic. For me, it was an acquired taste, not because it's not awesome, but because I can't even get into talk radio very often (above and beyond the conservative bend of a lot of it); in general, I can't concentrate on a purely audio medium for the length of time it takes to get into a storyline. I broke that little problem with

issaro recording Somewhere I Have Never Traveled because dear God, if she was going to spend that long recording something, I was damn well going to learn how to listen.

I was surprised to realize something about that, when I'd spent a lot of time worried I'd get hit with embarrassment (because it's productive to worry about the theory of listening to your own porn instead of, you know, just listening which is a hell of a lot quicker and there's a lot of time in my life I can't get back that I could have spent writing more of it). I mean, it's not just the porn; I know my weakness on citing dialogue to the speaker and try to compensate for that in edits but I don't always, and I'm pretty sure anyone who reads me has seen the paragraph long sentences, you see where this is going. I pick myself to pieces as a hobby verging on lifestyle choice; the idea of listening to someone else perform an audio verification I seriously need to work on my dependent clauses is a little disconcerting.

The thing is, they really aren't the same. I mean, they basically have the same words in the same order, but that's where the similarity ends, because the readers of podfic seem to basically recreate it from the ground up.

With other people's fics, it's a purely listening pleasure; with mine, it's being able to interact with my own fic as audience, which in general takes a couple of years to pull off. I can do that with my early Voyager fic, most of my X-Men, and some of my SV, but we're talking 2003 on it's hit or miss that I can read and not see the dissonance between the story I meant to write and what ended up on the page.

I think most writers have a universe in their heads that the story that is told ends up being only the bones of; it's not possible to get it all, and more importantly, all of it isn't relevant or necessary or even like, good. It's just, you know, background stuff. Jim's relationship with housekeeping robots in War Games did not need expansion. But man, I could tell you stories of him and Rand going through the Federation catalogue marveling at robots that could also do water sculpture.

And I think most writers when they start a story have an idea that as it turns out, the story ends up not being even close to, and that's another kind of dissonance. I have a major problem reading War Games parts five and six due to a change I made in three lines when I was nearly finished. I didn't have to change anything else in the fic for that--in fact, I changed them because the rest of the story didn't work with what I wanted to do, and more importantly, I didn't like it as it was. It was the right decision. I liked changing it! And doing that changed the entire meaning of the last two parts and closed one of my most irritating loose ends. It's still not how I originally imagined it, and dissonance when I get there, every damn time, and every time I read it, I have to stop, blink, and remind myself yes, I did change that, and then settle back in feeling like I entered a very specialized alternative universe for the remainder of the fic.

Someone else reading it is someone else interpreting it in a different act of creation; they do not carry the writer's baggage. It's not mine anymore (so much as fanfic ever is, or any fiction, for that matter); they made it theirs, using their voices and their interpretation to make something new and different from it.

Podfic readers are kind of magic like that. I don't say this often enough, to people who podfic, but it's incredible what you can do with the stories you tell. I can have read them a hundred times, but they're new every damn time I listen to them.

Speaking of, if I just say here and in my profile to podfic at will, would that work in general?

I am celebrating the fact that this time next week, this testing cycle is over and I will have glorious not terrifyingly days at work in which I will not be in a constant state of panic. Which also coincides with payday, so really, what can be better than that? A pony, that's what. Though not by much.

So I was reading about how the internet now sucks since facebook came in and all these people who aren't, you know, whatever they aren't (I am unclear, but I will admit hilarity that I hate facebook but am also required to instruct people now finding it on what privacy settings mean and what they do and why more is better), but okay, we're going to do a flashback to the year 2000 and go forward, when I discovered google and the world changed.

This is where our journey begins.

Google took six weeks to update with new material. Six weeks. I will not tell you how or why I know that, or why I tested that, or even how I tested that; suffice to say at that period of my life I had a lot of time on my hands and loved spreadsheets--check my fic output for X-Men fandom and you'll see I really did not have more important things to do. By March 2001, they'd shaved it to about a month. It was 2003 before it dropped under a week (I want to say five days, but I don't have those notes and yes, at one time, there were in fact notes). Now it's almost instantaneous.

Finding fic with google was hit or miss in a really horrifying, confusing way. You weren't more likely to find porn. You wish it was more likely to find porn. I have no idea what some of that I found was, but it was not porn. Those were sad days.

You still thought altavista and yahoo were the most awesome search engines ever. Yes, you did.

A lot of fic was still behind password protected walls and good luck getting anyone to answer your emails. (not all fic. Not even most fic. but a lot of fic. especially in certain fandoms you wanted to read in.)

Pre-lolcats. There was a time we did not have cat macros. Think about that one and shiver.

Journaling sites were still new and bizarre. If you had one, there's a fair to good chance you did not yet know about the magic of comments unless you were an early adopter of LJ or waitlisted for sites that offered to install comments on your diaryland account (I was waitlisted for comment function), and fandom was still mailing list based. This was your only source of fic. Moderators were tiny gods with magical hammers. If you pissed off the mod of ClarkLex*, you had the SSA and also, you were fucked. Have fun with that!

(* example mailing list. Not meant to reflect actual ClarkLex mod policy.)

You knew Television Without Pity when it was MightyBigTV and when it was sane and awesome but less likely to be hilariously wanky. So you know, there's a trade there.

Handcoding entire archives was still normal. Handcoding entire archives without CSS was normal. And it was formatted for 800X600 or below.

You were involved with or watched a flamewar that involved or was about

thete1 and/or

harriet_spy and/or

liviapenn. Sometimes weekly.

You know what an intellislasher is and at one time mocked it. If you were one, you were above that sort of thing.

You learned HTML because you were desperate for a page that wasn't a red blackground with black text. Or you fell desperately in love with it. The latter was disturbingly more likely. Those were dark, dark days.

At some point, you owned buttons on your site illustrating your affiliations, your friends, and who you hated.

You hear Godawful Fanfiction and sigh a little at what could have been. And wonder what the fuck happened there.

YIM and AIM let you paste up to 2000 words of fic into chatboxes. God I miss those days.

You used ICQ and IRC both. (I know IRC is still in use.)

You were involved in at least one mailing list deletion, or you were the mod of a list you deleted in a fit of flounce and God willing, that will never end up on Fanlore. It will. Just give it time.

You remember the culture shock of a dozen fandoms hitting each other for the first time in LJ and RPS dropping on top of it all like a goddamn atom bomb. You remember writing about the morality of RPS until your friends started coming out as readers and writers of it. You got over it. You participated in the first Slashing the Slashers without any sense of irony.

You remember the first Fandom Wank in LJ and how that was totally shocking. You meta'ed about it while you watched it. Lotrips was still but a gleam in someone's eye. Everyone hated HP. Or so they said.

Michael Rosenbaum was sent a sex box. You're still not entirely over that.

Mpreg, slavefic, and extreme AUs were edgy. You then probably ended up in SGA reading about John and Rodney as ice cubes, girl scout cookies, and plants, and think in wonder about those days of innocence. Mpreg girl scout cookies who are enslaved by plants, that's what's edgy now, people.

We discovered panfandom stories that scraped across our flists like meteors and smushed all fic beneath them. We learned to hate that shit as we secretly read them, because hey, they were good.

You read the MsScribe saga live with your friends. And dear God did you boggle.

The term "His wife? A horse" was not yet meme. (hint: google if you don't know. And don't stare at me in betrayal, I did not hit Search for you. It's on your head.)

There was no Adam Lambert slash.

I'm saying, it's better now. Though granted, horsefucker, we could have lived without him. Anything anyone wants to add?

help_haiti, I added a thread to bid for two stories at a minimum of 5K words.

(I've never participated in one of these; I hope I did that right.)

I feel like sulking prodigiously for reasons that have to with my realization that I have a really mundane fantasy life. I mean, catch this, some people are undead shaman-wizards and...

Oh, should I stop there?

Level with me; are we doing this wrong? I mean, I'm just saying my imagination feels inadequate and that is the penis size of the fandom world, if you will forgive the patriarchal aspects and stop to visualize that for a second, because seriously, it's hilarious.

I'm not sure where I was going with this, but I am just saying I do not feel virile anymore. Or--okay, yes, I googled that, right word, possibly context is creepy and--well, wrong, but I have been dealt an emotionally challenging blow. Did you not see comparisons to penises?

*curls up* Hate.

So it's morning and I'm usually like, much more subtle at making people read something for me, except when I kind of whined to

winterlive who gave me

jamesinboots because I was kind of like, about to have some kind of seizure and I wrote her Adam/Brad porn in GChat. That is now off-topic. My Method of Convincing My Friends to Read My Fic (this shit is hard.

svmadelyn last read my Chuck fic. Last year. It was a Christmas present. I am a really cheap date sometimes.). As you can see, it is highly effective.

*context-I describe a really, really generic fandom trope (I am not going for original here. I am going with "Okay, this would be fucking hilarious" and then write it. It is an awesome method.)

Seperis: Is that okay? I want you to read it.

*insert really long pause here

Amireal: It's fandom, we can all be what we want?
Seperis: SO I FEEL LESS ALONE OKAY
Seperis: ...it's much less creepy than it was!

Later:

Seperis: Eventually. Not now. IT IS MUCH LESS CREEPY...Seriously! How often do i say that so excitedly?
Amireal: more than you think?

Huh.

Also, yes, she agreed, obviously, but okay, for the record, I do not normally lower my creep factor. Okay, if I am going to blood and toads and Clark brands Lex for the Religion of Superman and Merlin mindfucking Arthur during sex while plotting Uther's death, I hit drive, not neutral. Sometimes admittedly I do it really badly and then there's--confusion on what happened because sometimes I forget how to not use adjectives in non-standard ways, but anyway! I feel really--hurt--that anyone, anywhere, would assume I would, that I would edit out creepy things. So we all have that? Thanks.

My Monday morning. Any questions? The taco people will be here soon!

Signal boost--please pass on:

If You Want to Claim a Yuletide Pinch Hit, read this

Text:

Apparently Yahoogroups has changed some policy, and the wave of pinch hits sent out has DISABLED MY YAHOO ACCOUNT. I can't post to it to tell the pinch hitters why I'm not responding to claims. Of the 20+ groups I belong to or own, only 3 are displaying, presumably because the rest are on the email address that has been disabled. I... am not a happy camper.

At this point, I need to sleep, and there's very little I can do about this. If you want to claim a pinch hit, you'll need to *forward* or otherwise get the info to my personal email (elynross@gmail.com), and I'll work with that, and try and respond when I get up in a few hours.

Please boost the signal on this, to try and reach other people on the pinch hit list. I'm not sure how the second half of the pinch hits are going to go out, but we'll figure something out.

Update 3:

APOLOGY DELETED! But screencaps live forever. Screencap of apology here.

Update 2:

AND HERE! jdr1184 totally fails at an apology here. I mean, totally fails.

Update:

tia933 finds similarities with ebook Bonding With Graven by Amber Kell - link

friendshipper found another story that was plagiarized from - link

Original

Thanks to the efforts of

almostnever, who uncovered the plagiarism and

telesilla, who has been kind enough to unlock her post with

almostnever's conclusions:

The story The Reluctant Princess by

jdr1184 has passages taken from

rageprufrock's Bell Curve and

toomuchplor's Waiting For My Real Life to Begin.

In

almostnever's LJ: Comparison of The Reluctant Princess by ldr1184 to Rageprufrock's and ToomuchPlor's Stories In Tables!

In

telesilla's LJ: Comparison of The Reluctant Princess by ldr1184 to Rageprufrock's and ToomuchPlor's Stories

...that wasn't even subtle, yo.

Just in case, screenshot of

jdr1184's fic here, unlocked at time of posting.

I am happy to report the babies that are not mine are being watched temporarily by someone not me. This reminds me that I never want more children.

In other news--there is no other news. Inspire me. Anyone read anything good in pinto-land or AIRPS-world? I need Zachary Quinto porn like you have no idea.

This is an emergency, yo.

ETA: HOW CAN A CHILD SO SMALL BE FILLED WITH SUCH LOUDNESS?

Re-reading the kink meme for sanity. So there's just not enough Pinto D/s. Anyone notice that?

Ongoing Review of Arthur, the G1 Phone

Things I learned to do today with Arthur (for those playing the home game, that is my phone with whom my relationship is platonic yet weirdly obsessive):

a.) save webpage/pictures from the web (press finger down on screen for three seconds)
b.) switch between webpages (there a command involved? Menu something? I wrote it down). However, I really want tabs. No, I have no idea how they'd fit on that screen, but there you go.
c.) found perfect sudoku game.
d.) still bar code scanning at random. It's very relaxing to comparison shop for cookies on teh web. Really.

Weird things with phone:

a.) it gets my gmail before my web gmail does. It's the most awesome thing ever. I know when I get gmail as my phone goes off before it even shows up in regular web gmail.
b.) suddenly I am answering messages and calls in a timely manner because I no longer leave it under the bed or on airplanes on their way to Ohio.
c.) I bought a mirrored screen protector. It is kind of the most useless thing ever, as it is supposed to, IDEK, privacy on the screen? But if you are in the presence of sunlight, even in the shade, it's a mirror. Only does this in natural light.

Also, there is no adblock I can find so far, so I take my chances every time I read ED on it.

Fandom

Why am I reading AIrps? Apparently, because it's there on my flist for clicking. I--couldn't even remember what they looked like? This cannot end well.

NSFW Warning:

If you are reading page 21 of spnanonymous meme, adblock first.

This is page 21: http://spnanonymous.livejournal.com/680.html?page=21#comments

This is not safe for work: http://i28.tinypic.com/2cgc95g.jpg

Enter the above into adblock or you will find you do not need coffee to wake up, and I do not mean that in a pleasant way. Though maybe if that's your thing?**

( question )

Shame is for the weak, or, how I realized I had become invested in Pinto RPS to an extent I was not aware of until I realized I was searching the kink meme for a distressingly specific kind of kink and not finding nearly enough of it and becoming bitter.

Then I read something else and all became clear.

( one fic, three convos )

I feel betrayed, trufax. I am going to go cry into some sort of cushion and wonder about tinhatism. I could totally go this way. I blame

winterlive.

Huh. You know, I really want to do an Unpopular Fannish opinion meme, but most of it right now would be about a.) Merlin b.) Star Trek Reboot c.) Torchwood, and d.) miscellaneous. The problem isn't wanting to do one--it's that right now, I want to be offensive about it, filled with absolute statements sprinkled with the word douche in liberal measure.

Which is a problem, as like right now, I have like thirty things on my list, and only like, five of them on a normal day even break my irritation zone.

So, instead, a meta rec: Major Fannish Events by

thefourthvine, which is spoilery for everything ever and awesome. This is her question.

What is the big fannish event you wish you could have seen? (Seen the live reaction to, anyway.) But even more important, to help me in my fantasizing - what are the big fannish events you'll never forget? What were they like to live through?

Spoilery. For. Everything. And so freaking awesome.

Right. Small rant.

( torchwood, major plot points, and apparently, mood spoilers, which I never thought I'd ever have an opinion on )

You can ignore this. This is possibly why I made sure I got the Harry Potter books the day they were released.

A Rant, Totally Serious

There's a rite of passage in every fanwriter's life where they sit down with a new story, a new fandom, Microsoft Word (or word processor of choice), and determinedly go though to update their custom dictionary. It's like the tattoo of the fannish world. Once you have added phasers to your custom dictionary, it's never coming out.

This is a special time--a sacred time, really. Because these words don't exist and you will stare at them and think "so how is hyperspanner spelled?" and that just leads to like, eight hours on Memory Alpha reading about Klingons and you still don't know how it's spelled, but you have a working knowledge of how to propose marriage in Klingon with your teeth.

Which brings me to the point--we really, really need to just move into the new millennium and create ready made custom dictionaries for each fandom. Right, we create archives, communities, mailing lists, awards, and sure, I guess that's okay? But what about the custom dictionary? I'm just saying. What the hell, fandom?

Just want to put that on the table. Think of it--instead of the horror of trying to remember how to spell hyperspanner or dilithium or Romulan names, you get your Trek Spelling Dictionary downloaded and just toss it in and voila. You are done, unless you are like me and make up words and maybe convince like, ten people they actually appeared in canon, which if they hadn't been so damn picky, I wouldn't have had to lie, so that was a very important lesson for everyone. But. Fandom should get on this shit because okay, fine, I just spent several days running spellcheck and have to keep stopping, go back, and add new words and honestly, I'd rather we just standardized already. And you'd think I had them from Voyager? No. No, Voyager was several fandoms and like, four computers ago.

Yes, it hurt when I realized phasers are not actually real. It's been that kind of a day.

So This Isn't New

For the record: I will never finish this story. I mean, ever. It was all fun and games at twelve thousand words and I was tripping down the path of almost done, but it's twenty-two thousand, I've cut two thousand, added back in twelve thousand, there's no ending, and I have a horrible, horrible feeling that I'm having some kind of epiphany regarding the use of contractions again. As in, I keep forgetting to use them.

For Reference

My personal fannish religion is currently centered around Star Trek Reboot links collected by

jmtorres. There are a lot. And they are awesome.

There are Lines Here

I know no one actually wants proof that I have crossed that nebulous border between fannishly neurotic and future astral wife of a fictional character, but okay, tell me how to handle V, one of my two best friends in the world went and hated Star Trek Reboot. After a three hour AIM exploration of meta commentary, competing themes, the use of alternate universe and time travel, social commentary in science fiction, the significance of Star Trek as a cultural barometer as we move forward as a society, the history of media science fiction, and how unbearably hot Chris Pine is, she--did not agree.

It's like I do not even know her anymore. I may have blocked her on AIM and sent flames, but not under my own name, so it doesn't count and IPs can be falsified, though not really very well. Which just goes to show, I really, really need a vacation or to finish this goddamn story. You know, whatever works.

Everything Else

Arthur the G1 was updated to Android 1.5, with added video support and a touch screen keyboard and some other things. Our love continues.

I need a better last line.

All this week, I've been in a good mood. Like, wear lipstick and color coordinate my clothes good mood. There's even been hair fixing and whatnot. I could say it was all due to Trek (and most of it was, seriously; Trek was first fandom and my earliest sci-fi memories. Oh my God, Abrams, I love you), but by yesterday, it was also because I honestly like screwing with my coworkers and they were getting really disturbed at the entire seems to care about personal appearance thing. A few would drop by, I'd smile, and they would scurry away. P kept checking me surreptitiously for Vulcan ears. I'd totally wear them if I had them, too.

In other words, my life was perfect.

However, I am being punished for rediscovering lip liner and floral prints; I cannot sleep tonight for some reason, even though I am exhausted. What I did do was spend an hour replotting the end of the damned Spock fic and then imaging out a complex story where Kirk goes to jail and Spock bails him out, because that's the kind of thing I find hilarious.

So then I said, well, okay, screw it, let's find something to read.

It's not that I didn't know the kink meme was around. I did! But so far, I've been reading using the careful and scientific study of how many people have tagged something in delicious. Well, I ran out of that and said, what the hell, be crazy.

Wow, was that a mistake.

Mostly because if I'd done that earlier, I could have discovered five million new horrifying things, or at least like, three, and all of them involve bodily functions, how they are named, and what they are used for. And what they should never be used for. I will say this: blood. And also, to the author, what were you thinking? Blood is sticky.

Also, I fell on top of a fic with Rodney McKay in an adult diaper and frankly, I may never sleep again. Yes, I am sharing that with you. Go enjoy your day with that image and try not to walk off the side of a building; I work on the ground floor, but I can totally get to the roof if I need to.

I'm still in a good mood. But it's more edging toward what one might call 'manic'. I don't see how this can end well.

Porn is just bizarre from a Vulcan's pov. I just want to state for this for the record, because I want really low expectations. Okay? Okay. I'm saying, I will really spellcheck this time, and like, check my its/it's, and I want credit for that when anyone gets to like, page thirty, kay? Thank you.

In other news, there is no other news. I mean,

winterlive is a filthy, filthy tease with fic (seriously, my inbox is such a porny, porny place) and

transtempts is trying to drive me nuts with what appears to be OT3 foreplay that lasts forever, and

svmadelyn is sending me links to fic where people use the word orbs for eyes without irony. I'm sorry, no.

Also, apparently, my playlist for Star Trek is dance-pop and techno. I wnat to say I do not associate Kirk with Britney Spears (damn you,

butterfly, with your brilliance; when I get stuck, that's the vid I watch to get unstuck when writing), but it's a lie. I am so not kidding. I dragged out The Pussycat Dolls and I don't know what this means, but I know it's not an improvement on my emo-by-way-of-metal-guitar phase.

[And

talitha78 for freaking Lady Gaga. I--can't even deal with this. I just pretend I am not me. I am saying, my musical tastes are pretty much "Did a vidder use this song? I like it!" Is that even healthy?]

No.

It's been a while, so I feel it's about time to list off my most recent fic peeves. In no particular order in two fandoms.

( merlin, st:reboot, spoilers for reboot )

Okay, question for Uhura fans and the chain of command, please. This is jsut for my own curiosity for now, though I am using some of this for a fic.

( enterprise rank system )

And because this came up on my flist.

( POC and diversity in fanfic )

Finally, for anyone who is interested or who wasn't around circa 2006 when I did this, Trek Meet and Greet. I haven't updated comments since last year, nor is it terribly organized, but it has a pretty interesting cross-section of Trek writers on LJ, comms, etc. If it feels useful or there isn't a better reference out there, I'd be happy to start organizing and updating it again. There are some people I haven't added or removed either by request or because they really, really seemed to not want the connection.

Yes, this is what happens when I've been struggling with Vulcan porn. I can't even look at myself in the mirror right now. Kirk POV--next time, Kirk POV.

ETA:

darkrosetiger asks for Tuvok recs here and now I'm kind of interested too. Bring your Tuvok recs!

To take a break from current plotting about our post-non-kosher-hotdog flu lives in a technopunk universe (again, internet, no running water--save your engineers for the love of God), I hit again the fact that no matter how much you love an author, or love a story you read by them, reading all their fic will never, ever end well. It has nothing to do with quality--it has to do with quirks, and this holds true with professionals as well as fanfic writers. Which is why I restrict myself on reading pros and never, ever making the mistake of ordering or reading more than two books by a single author a year unless they are in vastly different genres (and that does not work with Stephen King at all).

[Exceptions for series, but even then, do them all at once fast. No delay.]

It's the quirk thing.

Every author has them. In fanfic, where we stay in fandom and have certain key subjects we like to gnaw on, it can be (but not always) much, much worse. It's more than view of a character, or plot, or whatever. It can be actual sentence construction. One author, and I don't remember, who, had this horrible habit of never splitting her infinitives. I know that's theoretically proper grammar (or Latin applied to English, whatever), but it reads awkward when applied to too much dialogue. Reading as part of many authors work is better, as it spreads out the concentration. But say, and I mean this, I flinch when I think of anyone newly discovering Smallville and trying to hit all ninety-something stories I wrote in the fandom, because I get irritated with my quirks on re-reading and that has to grate. Heck, even limiting to 2002 work where I was really grooving in exercising a change in style and that's like, grounds for shooting me.

Remixes were the time I first realized I could (temporarily) hate an author forever because I had to read all their work to find something to remix, but I've been in the middle of a moody spell of moodiness and ran back to Harry Potter and hit an author who was really good. Then I read half her published work and kind of wnat to kill Draco over a slow fire. It's not pretty.

This is a long way to ask, and I know I am taking my life in my hands, if anyone has any recs for Harry/Draco written by someone who doesn't hate Harry? For variety's sake. I don't mind him turning evil or anything. I mind him spending more than five paragraphs angsting how he has destroyed Draco's fragile soul by not loving him enough. Or something.

(In other words, I'm stuck on this Merlin fic and I can't read anything Merlin until I'm unstuck or I'll accidentally pick up something from someone else and not even notice. Or stop writing it. This is physically painful. I hate not being able to read in my own damn fandom.)

Conversely, any Merlin RPS would be appreciated as well. I think it's safe to read that.

So my weekend was incredibly awesome.

First, there was snow, which I already rhapsodized about, so really, conceptualizing my religious experience with frozen water probably isn't needed again, but it's just. I can't get over it. I know it's ordinary, but I walked a cemetery blanketed in white and wait, let me do this in order.

( my weekend, short version )

Hi, I need a beta for a Merlin fic? Um, below cut, there are some--warnings.

( yes, I need to warn )

So. There you go. Email me at seperis at gmail if you think you might have time.

ETA: Betas gathered! Thanks for the quick response!

Trufax. I am losing my contractions again.

Many moons ago, due to years of essay writing (which discouraged contraction use), everything I wrote was almost disturbingly formal, but in a very awkward way. I'd broken the worst of the habit by my fourth month in fandom because nothing beats reading your own porn dialogue coming out as a cross between Beowulf Does Dallas and Travails of a Misunderstood Penis on Crusade (Abridged) to really bring home no one should sound like that during sex. But let me tell you, dragging out your Mallory and your Canterbury for, of all Godforsaken things, research just totally brings it all back and I spent a lot of time find/replacing last night when all my dialogue was uncontracted and then going back to twitch myself into some kind of fit when I unironically had some kind of thing going on that sounded like I was trying to channel Cicero by way of Hustler. And I hated Cicero the first and only time I read him. I also don't remember any of it (I do not pretend I can read Latin. Maybe he's more interesting in his native tongue? Could happen), but I'm suspicious when "and showeth to me your manhood" starts creeping into my brain as a reasonable thing and making me want bleach like whoa. Also, showeth is not a word. I have no fucking clue where that's coming from. Maybe the land of badfic.

Also fighting off the urge to use "verily", "yea", and "forsooth". Forsooth, for the love of God. Forsooth.*

This just cannot end well, can it? It's not even pretentious. It's sad. It's really, really sad.

Seriously, if I pull that in a fic, mock my ass. God knows I'm getting worried now what I'm actually not noticing that should die in a fire.

*page ten. Totally unironic. Someone take away my Book of the Courier or this is going to just get worse.

Dear Flist,

Plz to stop making me cry about a last ep I have not seen because all of you are weepy saying goodbye and now I am too and I haven't seen it yet. Or Vegas. Because I am not that strong.

Why. In the name of God am I wiping my eyes?

Yours truly (and apparently SGA is for life, because I was totally reconciled to this months ago and now I am not),

Seperis

(PS: This message is pointed to

springwoof,

mecurtin,

cesperanza,

telesilla who broke me down to hit

smittywing where I totally could not even see the screen anymore. My God people. You aren't even in this room and you are setting me off.)

(PSS: Actually, I've never really made it to the end of a show. This is a first. Interesting.)

(PSSS: OMG is someone going to do a SGA fan retrospective now like they do on TV so as to group cry? I am so not going to make it.)

...how is it I always end up with ad hoc Carebear porn?

Also, bear foursome (I HAD TO COUNT THE NUMBER OF EARS) by

kernezelda.

Okay, this is ridiculous. I have been trying to talk myself into seeing SGA's Vegas and I. Cannot. Do. It. Somehow, I always go back and watch Chuck try to pass on an antibody for the killer flu by making out with Casey to soothe myself.

...well, I mean, not that it's a hardship or anything, but still.

I can't tell if its the reviews that are freaking me out or the end of the show or what. I just know that no matter how many times I go to the ep, I end up somewhere entirely different.

2008 Resolutions

2008 Resolution for tracking my reading is pretty much fulfilled. I'm going back now to make sure I logged everything, since there's some fic I know I missed that I need to find and add, along with adjustments to earlier months for fic I had in the wrong del.icio.us account, but I finished tagging the last two months worth and adding in year, since what the hell, lets see how 2009 does for reading. My statistics are horrific for feedback. However, there were some interesting patterns, since what I had thought about how I read and what I read doesn't seem to be verified by what actually showed up there. Of course, I also got obsessed with four extra fandoms this year, which may explain the spread.

I need to check the rest and see how many I finished.

Works in Progress

September through December were weird. I wrote a lot, but it wasn't until the last of December that I noticed I hadn't posted much for a while. Part of it was that a few have endings that aren't--quite what I want, so I'm sitting on them. One dS was finished but I need to add a lot of backstory and that's taking time, since I originally wrote and finished it in a three day sitting in a blaze of inspiration and going back, I keep tripping over wondering if I was high during certain parts.

Currently, these are finished/mostly finished/still editing:

1.) Untitled, Supernatural, Dean/Castiel, 41,000 words. I wrote it, finished it, Madelyn read it and said I was missing an entire middle. So I went back and started that and--well. There you have it.
2.) Rules of Attraction, Stargate:Atlantis, John/Rodney, 55,000 words being re-edited.
3.) Untitled, Due South, Fraser/Kowalski/Victoria, 6,000 words. It--makes no sense. What I want it for is for a Five Things, which I have two others that could be added to make three, but that leaves two. If I'm going to do insane OTT AUs, I should do them all at once.
4.) Untitled, Stargate:Atlantis/Bourne Identity, John/Rodney, 35,000 words, still *really* in progress and recently brutally cut to pieces. Gah.
5.) Untitled, Due South, Fraser/Kowalksi, 30,000 words, being rewritten for backstory.
6.) Running on Empty, Stargate:Atlantis, John/Rodney, 21,000 words, and the vampire AU that--is there. I mean, that's the thing. It's not a problem with the fic, per se. It's after ten minutes of writing, I stop, stare at it, and realize I am writing an SGA vampire AU. I mean, even going desperately to re-read

telesilla to see how it can be awesome does not negate the fact I am writing a vampire AU novel and just. *hands*
7.) Crimes Against Humanity, Stargate:Atlantis, 50,000 words. Sort of. I cut out most of what I'd done for the ending because I wanted to do something else with it and didn't--do anything with it. Yeah.
8.) Untitled, Stargate:Atlantis, John/Rodney. This is--okay, I had this moment where I thought, you know what would help that freaky slavery squick? Write about the Alterans enslaving humanity. Yeah, that didn't work.

To Do

1.) Finish 2008 fic in review.
2.) Eat ice cream.
3.) Sleep. (not happening)
4.) Try to watch Vegas.
5.) ...end up tracking down the rare Chuck/Bryce to work on my deep hatred of him when he isn't bloody and shooting people, because I am so torn. I just hate him, right up until he starts shooting people. I am so shallow, but Christ, Bryce is insanely pretty.

Now here's something that's never happened to me. I can now label my fic under the following concepts; blasphemy-lite, blasphemous, and people-refuse-to-even-read-this-one-for-me-when-I-describe-the-concept. One of them I won't work on at night.

Also, I am betting that no one really ever thought "Death by Boredom" could actually work as a story concept. And don't you wish that had continued to be true? I do.

I have a new bear for my Christms collection and my village is up except for the lights. Wow, I feel accomplished.

I am eating chocolate mint things and trying to justify my existence atm.

Why am I writing hideously depressing Rodney-leaves-John-for-babies-with-Keller fic? I'm seriously not that much of a masochist. I kind of hate Rodney right now.

Okay, the thing is? This is literally the kind of fic I would not only hate, but like, turn into some kind of silent, secret grudge against the author for years (my grudges are special; no one knows about them except me and I forget about them regularly. I am not what anyone sane would call a dangerous enemy here), and my relationship with myself shouldn't be strained, don't you think?

*twitchy*

Would alcohol help? Or you know, a razor? I'm open to suggestions.

P.S No, I am not writing John as an alcoholic cutter either. Though honestly, the way this thing is shaping up, I'm not sure it would be all that much worse.

From

celli:

tv_elf passed away this afternoon. Abby was an active and talented vidder and regular at both VividCon and Escapade. She will be missed by all who knew her.

Please direct all comments to

celli's lj here, who will post more updates when available regarding donations or flowers for those who wish to do so.

Doing some clean-up of my reading delicious tags was enlightening. I keep thinking I'm going to eventually add more acronyms to explain my initial reaction to the story so as to remind myself what it's about before I try and read it again. See, the thing is, I've learned if I don't remember reading it? Pretty good chance that was my mind's last-ditch defense against brain scarring. Second view, I'm damaged for life. This has happened several times, and at least with Dean/Castiel, it's not even that I'm squeamish on religious toned porn. Angel porn is awesome. Angel porn with a sad lack of understanding of contractions or hell, language, is not awesome. It makes me want to smite.

Smite them but good.

This doesn't happen to me in fandoms I'm active-active in. SGA and dS are easy to avoid the bad; I mean, there's so much that I can avoid the bad stuff by that special voice of reason that says "Look at the summary. Look how they misspelled Fraser. You want to go there?" It's a good system. With Dean/Castiel, I can't be picky. There aren't enough to be picky about. Which is why I'm eyeing the fic I mentally marked as "Oh my God don't go there" because it's been two days and I've already burned through one hundred and three fic of the Dean and Castiel persuasion and really, I need my fix.

Life hard. Send brownies. Or possibly a retcon.

So I finished up the hardest part of a project and am almost done, more or less, so I need a creative jump start. Gakked from

cereta here:

You post a topic, list, category, whatever, in my comments section. (examples: "Five Things Bill Denbrough Remembers About His Childhood", or "Five Art Crawl Themes" or "Five Things Jessica Will Never, Ever Tell Seth"). Then, in a separate post, I'll post the answers to your Top 5 ideas, according to me. Serious or fun!

In

cereta's words, fandoms that increase your odds of getting an answer.

Fandoms: Star Trek Voyager, X-Men Movieverse, Smallville, Queer as Folk, Dr.Who (9 and 10), Stargate:Atlantis, Due South, pretty much any movie or book I've mentioned, or any fic or series I wrote that you just want to see a quickie on.

You know, this is either going to be very fun or really surprisingly hard. I feel experimental.

(Child wants to build a backyard wind-powered house. I need something not-scary in my life.)

Question.

Is there a vid newsletter that picks up the vids being posted around fandom and I've just missed it?

Okay, reasons are various, but two biggies are a.) I download but rarely watch when I download, and then close the window, and you see where that leads and b.) vids don't archive so there's no place to go find them and secret c.) people don't rec vids as regularly as they do fic and it's hard to track it down easily.

If there is one, could someone direct me to it? If there is not, would someone consider making one? It's not really the getting vids that's a problem, so much as an easy way to leave feedback, though the former is also an issue sometimes when one is looking at fandom five years back.

I mean, I know there are many solutions to those problems. But I also just want a newsletter because it would be so cool to find a neat list of all the vids released this week in all fandoms. And all the vid communities! And what those crazy kids are up to with their newfangled technology and Final Cut and Mastering the Mysteries of Something in Adobe or whatever. Fun!

And okay, the anal part of me loves newsletters. I mean, with a ridiculous passion. It's like a newspaper that specializes in only things that are interesting! I like the categories and the easy to find fic and the meta and the years of recorded newsletters going back in the calendar function. I mean, if we had a fandom newspaper, I would be like a long-term subscriber where it would give me the short list of What Happened This Week, and the Fannish News of the Weird and like this section devoted to Weird Opinions (links to metafandom!) and I'll stop now.

*throws out to universe* Point me in the right direction.

Homicide, having seen eps 1-3...

Tell me I'm supposed to want Pembleton to arrest me and subject me to a looooong interrogation. I admit, though, the tie is getting to me. It's so mathematically neat and tidy that I keep hoping someone grabs it and viciously dismembers it with scissors.

Bayliss continues to make me want to make him soup and give him lots of stuffed animals because that man is not sleeping. I mean, like, ever.

Also, Munch never ages. I cannot tell you how much it freaks me out to go to SVU and see he is exactly the same. It's also weirding me out I recognize way too many actors so far. In a very fun way.

Homicide seasons one and two abruptly went down in price and of course, that requires buying it. As one does when DVD sets go on sale.

I feel this could assist in keeping me from abruptly googling when the first Five Things challenge occurred, as I spent part of last night working out it was prior to March 2003.

God, this show is good.

House 5.2 whatever it is called....

Unpopular opinion (below cut, spoilers):

( dum dum dum )

transtempts and I have a question. Well, I had a question,

transtemps is working on stick figures, but we're just not sure.

Pasting convo:

seperis: Hmm
Seperis: Question.

transtempts: Yes?
Seperis: If a guy didn't have his floating ribs and could suck his own cock.
Seperis: And was flexible.
Transtempts: Uh huh
Seperis: Could he fuck and suck someone off at the same time?
Seperis: *curious*
Transtempts: Let's see.
Transtempts: *makes stick figure drawing*
Seperis: Yeah, I'm doing that too.
Seperis: I'm going to ask LJ now.
Transtempts: Is he sucking himself off?
Seperis: No, he's fucking a guy *and* sucking off the same guy.

You know, I can get a visual, sort of, but a.) it looks uncomfortable and b.) really would require bondage to keep people in teh right position and c.) I'm just not entirely convinced he wouldn't slip out on the downstroke.

Opinions?

Question for fic.

Would people have used a laundromat, an apartment complex's laundry room, or had their own washer and dryer in the sixties-seventies in Chicago?

ETA: Clarification: working class neighborhoods.

SGA not renewed

It took me five years after TNG ended to watch DS9 or Voyager. When I saw commercials, I would growl at them and hate them silently.

...okay, I eventually was fannish about Voyager, but that's a different story--I totally hated it for a long time and there's a small part of me that died when Picard no longer said "Engage." So shall it be with SGU if it comes to pass, and I'm a *lot better* at hissing these days.

I am not a happy camper. Why are they taking my show?

Life, Work, Fire

I came into work today with no expectation that anything in my remaining tests would be fixed. I was pleasantly surprised to realize I hadn't overestimated the situation--in other words, while no, it's not better, wow, it hasn't gotten worse!

I was a fool.

Two hours into this morning, I stood over Thomas in his office telling him "KILL IT WITH FIRE", which only sounds like an overreaction if you haven't been testing the same program fix about ten times and no one appreciates when you explain that this job has become the definition of insanity--to wit, doing the exact same thing over and over with the idea that the results will change. I think kill it with fire gets the idea across nicely.

Later, my boss eyed me warily. I have attempted to tell him that should I need to light my hard drive on fire, a.) I need more than a lighter; I need to call my son and have him mix me up a good accelerant out of common household chemicals and b.) I will take it outside, as one does.

This will end well, one way or another.

Anthrax watch has ended; I am sure we can all breathe easier knowing whatever that mysterious powder was in the bathroom it was either a.) not anthrax or b.) was anthrax but badly manufactured.

When written out, my job sounds far more interesting than it actually is.

Thoughts from VVC

During the panel on the expansion of vids and whatnot, the idea was broached that up to now, at the intersection of vidding and writing, it tends to be writing --> inspires vid. I was curious--and still am curious--if anyone would be interested in doing the opposite, or rather, pick out a vid, any vid, and write a story based on it. Not merely the constructed reality ones (though wow, could that go some interesting places) but also thematic or mood specific or whatever floats your boat. I'm curious if the writing would end up as much commentary--ie "this is how I see this"--as fic. Would anyone want to participate in that? I mean, basically, you will watch a vid and then write a fic about it. I mean, it's a hard job, but I'm pretty sure most of us would bite the bullet and carefully examine Dean's ass frame by frame, you know?

?

Yeah, this part is just because I wanted a third section.

VVC was, per usual, fantastic and incredibly fun, and per usual, left me shellshocked and vaguely punchy after, which is why Sunday nights are so necessary, because after a weekend of visual stimulation and heavy discussion, Sunday night badfic reinactments are kinda the only way to deal (and participating in badfic LARP gives you a strange appreciation for anatomy you never had before--please don't ask. Rum helped).

Panels

( panel: color )

( panel: what do we want from vids now )

( panel: i suck )

( panel: in-depth vid review )

Vids

Personal thoughts, which are probably of interest only to me:

( vid: climbing up the walls )

( vid: gloria )

There are about ten other vids I fell for hard, but these are the ones I discussed actively so remember best. If I get a chance and when the vids go up, will put up links. Cause seriously, these were awesome. All of them.

Vid links

Placeholder for vids as they go online.

Highway Café of the Damned by

jmtorres and

niqaeli, Stargate (movie and SG1) - oh fantastic. This made me *ridiculously* happy. And just--okay, Daniel just made me laugh and sigh and smile a *lot*. And the song is just so amazingly appropriate, you have no idea.

So today, I thought, ahh, fandom will have a nice wind down and start mocking something that doesn't cause us all rage blackouts and whatnot. Which is true and false.

Law and Order: London (gakked from

tzikeh)

No, really.

Law and Order: London
What would that Law & Order "clonk-clonk" noise (see video) sound like with a British accent?

We'll find out this fall when the Dick Wolf-produced legal franchise heads overseas with ITV's Law and Order: London.

Okay. Martha from Dr. Who and Apollo from BSG in Law and Order. I have no idea how I am going to wait for the premiere and not have some kind of cognitive break. I also start a countdown on the first LAO/Dr. Who crossover, which even if it's bad, is going to be awesome. It just is.

Jensenvention (gakked from--well, a lot of places)

It took several reads, a google cache search, and two people to explain to me what I was reading.

Explanation here. And an explanation of Jensenvention here. I think I worked it out. Never said I was all that great at deductive reasoning.

Here's what I got: correct me if I'm wrong.

So there is a website, Jensenvention. It is satire regarding Jensen Ackles life and career. It got a C&D and was shut down. some people are upset.

Hmm. Google cache of FAQ. (PS HIGHLIGHT THE PAGE TO READ)

Syne and Internet Business

For those curious, synecdochic posted Internet Business Numbers for the Layperson.
So, thanks to several simultaneous issues going around, there are a number of people who are pointing at various internet properties that "fandom" uses and trying to place a valuation on them: how much money they're bringing in, what their operating costs are, and how much 'profit' they're making. I don't want to link to any of those conversations, because (IMO) every one that I've seen has some serious flaws in their methodology, either by overestimating income or underestimating costs, leading to vastly-inflated figures (for cost, income, or profit) being bandied about, and I don't want to perpetuate them. What I do want to do is talk a little bit about methodology, about how to make a estimation of the economics of an Internet property, and more importantly, how to spot grossly inflated numbers when they're slung around in an argument.

Some enlightening and nicely non-technical explanations of income, profit, overhead, and other--stuff. Did I mention I have not and never wanted to be a businessperson? Yeah. But if I can understand it, anyone can.

And with that, I am going to read something in porn. Maybe with handcuffs. It just depends.

Some of you might get a kick out of this, and it's weirdly appropriate considering our theme of the month is involuntary outing. Now, sure, we've been talking about, oh, people doing it maliciously.

You know what we haven't covered? Doing it from stupidity.

This is how not to try and do work, answer feedback, chat with a coworker about a test and talk to

amireal and

svmadelyn on AIM.

Specific names removed.

( i dare anyone to do this better )

I feel moody and antisocial. Tried to start a flamewar with

winterlive -- totally shot me down. Tried to write fic, ended up with a List of Things Ten Will Find Quite a Shock that

tzikeh and I came up with during post-Who hysteria, because we gleed hard.

( minor spoilers for Dr. Who )

Hmm. I feel better.

Profile

seperis

Syndicate

Page Summary

this is not the time to evaluate my feelings on feelings, really
i miss random afternoon naps already
oh, so this why breaks are bad
plagiarism - okay, this is just sad
child, age thirteen, satisfying curiosity
podfic: you'll get there in the end (it just takes a while) by revolutionaryjo
podfic: multiple five things meme fics and other things
podfic: five ways arthur almost found out about merlin, read by fleurrochard
podfic: job orientation, read by eosrose
podfic: truth is a whisper, read by crinklysolution
podfic: the past in plural, read by rhicauldrie
the good old days before google were dark and involved horses
help_haitu thread thataway
my problems are more awesome than yours
it's too early for logic
Signal Boost: Yuletide Pinch Hits
Plagiarism Alert in SGA
so this is what the other side is like
arthur and i continue to bond
NSFW warning
this is totally like when rodney left john for jennifer
meta rec - major fannish events by thefourthvine
well, that was irritating
i think it's a reasonable suggestion
yes, a diaper, i said it
that's just how I roll. I write entries with no real theme.
my angst is a very fangirl class angst
my weekend, in very short form
beta request, please
a lament, on the universe, and forsooth (forsooth! wtf?)
oh people
does this say something about me as a person?
so this is 2009
right. okay.
i can't even blame monday for this one
tv_elf
i wish i could stop myself
this looks deceptively fun, which makes me think it might be hard
i am a font of utterly useless suggestions
homicide, the continuing adventures
H:LotS
random hope: house 5.2
question for the masses
question for fic
does this mean I don't have to finish *any* wips?
my tuesday is a monday
con report: vividcon 2008
so I had some time on my hands
well. in my defense, there's this song? stuck in my head.
and my sister? still not in labor

Active Entries

Quotes

If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
. -- Unknown, on feedback
BTS List
That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
AIM, 3/25/2004
Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
Twitter
I will unashamedly and unapologetically celebrate the joy and the warmth and the creativity of a community of people sharing something positive and beautiful and connective and if you don’t like it you are most welcome to very fuck off.
-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
Twitter, 6/19/2019
Adding for Mastodon.
-- Jenn, traceback
Fosstodon, 11/6/2022

Credit

Base style: Open Spaces by seperis
Theme: New Green by seperis

November 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 2022

Page generated Apr. 23rd, 2025 11:53 am