seperis | my problems are more awesome than yours

I feel like sulking prodigiously for reasons that have to with my realization that I have a really mundane fantasy life. I mean, catch this, some people are undead shaman-wizards and...

Oh, should I stop there?

Level with me; are we doing this wrong? I mean, I'm just saying my imagination feels inadequate and that is the penis size of the fandom world, if you will forgive the patriarchal aspects and stop to visualize that for a second, because seriously, it's hilarious.

I'm not sure where I was going with this, but I am just saying I do not feel virile anymore. Or--okay, yes, I googled that, right word, possibly context is creepy and--well, wrong, but I have been dealt an emotionally challenging blow. Did you not see comparisons to penises?

*curls up* Hate.

Oh god, you're awesome. Imagination as the penis size of fandom!

*dies laughing*

I like limitless flattery!

Well, you know what they say: it's not the meat, it's the motion.

Given a porn schlong that dicks people over and average sized cock that shows people a really good time, I'll choose the joe-average cock every time.

I don't know; I think the existence of mpreg as a genre argues a preference for bigger.

Not bigger. Just really well-aimed.

being attacked by a 16th century undead shaman wizard is no laughing matter, Jenn.

if it were a 17th century undead shaman wizard, that'd be different.

although if you are having problems with virility I believe writing an AU where Adam Lambert is a Vulcan would help!

...you mean someone hasn't yet?

my point is that you haven't yet ;)

I'm practicing writing people making life decisions post-amnesia by using soap opera digest and TMZ as a guide.

...though that one, that's tempting.

See, though - they're taking pictures of their small-to-average e-dong and photoshopping them into something considerably bigger. You can tell it's shopped, but that's not stopping them from waving it in your face.

Your metaphor is awesome in new and exciting ways.

*thoughtful* Would that make crazy wankas the metaphorical equivalent of /b/tards, then? Or goons? This comparison is going to break down somewhere inconvenient, I can just tell.

Verbostile dysfunction: no laughing matter.

But the breakdown will be glorious.

Verbostile dysfunction: no laughing matter.

I cannot describe how much joy that phrase has brought me. I am going to create situations specifically to use it now.

Their e-schlong is pasted on yay?

*was eating..carefully puts down fork*

Do we need to have THE TALK about how it isn't quantity but QUALITY. Also, how is that amnesia!fic coming along?

Less creepy than the original. I was hitting Fatal Attraction by way of Flowers in the Attic for a while there. that can't be healthy.

You want it emailed? It's nearly done.

Hmm, yes that is a somewhat dangerous combination.

Oh yes, I'd love to see it. I may not be able to comment at length until this evening *curses work* but yes, send it along, by all means.

*bounces*

Honestly? I don't think undead shaman-wizards are a sign of imagination. More like a sign of tossing a bunch of potentially awesome words into a random phrase generator, and hitting "go".

Elven ranger-warrior.

Phantasmic weretiger.

See? Easy cakes. As others have already commented, it's quality you want to strive for, not quantity.

...I want to be an elven ranger-wizard and arrange marriages for my flist with people on the astral plane!

Okay, that's been done. DAMMIT.

The Snape-wives are hiring elves to be their ministers? (Or would an elf be a JoP?)

No wai!!

YOU WIN OK?

I have to say that I never thought I'd see the day when a fan lapsing in and out of a coma and signing stories to her brother would be considered boring.

I need context for that like air right now.

*HOPEFUL*

Oh, God, it was some woman in Sentinel fandom (whom I think we later suspected was a sock of someone else at that). Iris something, I think? She was reportedly in a coma, although I forget the cause. First her brother found a notebook with stories, then she was out of the coma and unable to talk but signing fiction for her brother to transcribe and post, and then back in the coma, and it just got crazier and crazier. The brother and his boyfriend became major figures in the story, too, and someone wrote RPS about them. It was this bizarre combination psuedicide and a neverending flow of fiction.

....that is so awesome I want to cry from the sheer hilarity. *GLEE*

Who with the what now? How do I not remember this? Somehow my fandom experiences are always so much more mundane than that of the rest...

LMAO. Oh I so needed that!

If your .. um.. equipment isn't 'up' to the challenge, there's always that little blue pill. Perhaps writing is like design, and simply needs the addition of a good glass of something plus some random images to get the creative juices flowing? I've had my best ideas while under the rather gentle influence of a glass or two of port...

I wonder what the fannish equivalent of viagra is?

the fannish equivalent of viagra

Yuletide or the other, similar challenges, I would think.

Or perhaps the allure of Yuletide is not so much Viagra as a beach full of pretty people, tempting us to stray outside our comfort zones with hopelessly optimistic thoughts of discovering new loves.

Crack? Porn battles?

Well, we can't all be undead shaman-wizards. :|

*sulks* Stupid early adopter of cool alternate selves.

Oh my god, if you have a small fandom-penis I'm concerned I am NOT ENDOWED AT ALL.

Er.

...you know what, I'm just gonna leave that there.

Anyway, feel free to come spam me and/or sob at me!

Hee! I might! I have retooled and rewrote three versions now. It's very-weird.

*hugs*

You should. I'm sitting here on IM all by myself, swearing at software on my New Computer Homg. *bats lashes*

When someone imagines undead shaman wizard zombie TRIPLETS, then you should worry.

See, now I feel derivative if I go there. He is taking all the good ideas!

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seperis

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If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
. -- Unknown, on feedback
BTS List
That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
AIM, 3/25/2004
Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
Twitter
I will unashamedly and unapologetically celebrate the joy and the warmth and the creativity of a community of people sharing something positive and beautiful and connective and if you don’t like it you are most welcome to very fuck off.
-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
Twitter, 6/19/2019
Adding for Mastodon.
-- Jenn, traceback
Fosstodon, 11/6/2022

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Base style: Open Spaces by seperis
Theme: New Green by seperis

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Page generated Jun. 6th, 2025 09:04 pm

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