minoanmiss: Minoan girl lineart by me (Minoan chippie)
Thursday, December 11th, 2025 09:37 am

AAM: "I will confront you by Wednesday of this Week"

Content advisories: drunkenness, groping, unarmed violence, chaos, epic holiday partying.
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Wednesday, December 10th, 2025 01:46 pm

News

Some news:

* The Murderbot and fantasy novel Humble Bundle has returned for two days. The charity donation is still World Central Kitchen:

https://www.humblebundle.com/books/martha-wells-murderbot-and-more-tor-books-encore


* I'll be co-guest of honor with John Picacio at AggieCon 55 on January 30-February 1 2026 in College Station, TX.

https://www.aggiecon.net/


* Also you can preorder Platform Decay, the next book in The Murderbot Diaries, at whichever retailer you prefer, and it will be out on May 5, 2026. Published by Tor Books, cover art by Jaime Jones, edited by Lee Harris.


https://bookshop.org/p/books/platform-decay-martha-wells/8cf1662cf8bf8d15?ean=9781250827005&next=t

Wednesday, December 10th, 2025 02:47 pm

(no subject)

Ballad of Sword and Wine, vol. 6 by Tang Jiu Qing (translated by XiA, Jia, and amixy):

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Wednesday, December 10th, 2025 12:27 pm

What I'm Doing Wednesday

books
A Companion to Women in the Ancient World by Sharon L. James (Editor), Sheila Dillon (Editor). 2012. Triggery as hell in the first third. Took a long time to read.

I started Natasha Pulley's Hymn to Dionysus, but it didn't grab me so it's on pause.

yarning
a) Thanks to some links from Petra, I learned to knit a few rows of garter stitch. And yet...it feels wrong. (I'm probably doing it wrong, though my little swatch looks vaguely like it's supposed to.) I found a video on knitting continental, so the yarn is on the correct side for my brain. But it feels weird. Maybe I'm just built for crochet...?

b) I think I've just about got the Vampire Lestat in gold pants crochet pattern complete. I'm testing it, which is a good thing, bc I found some errors. Meanwhile, I'm teasing the art doll on Tumblr ([tumblr.com profile] mostlyvampires), hoping it'll eventually reach interested people. (I'd appreciate a reblog, if you see this! <333)

c) Next up maaaay be creating a red pants version. In the screen grabs from the trailer, that version doesn't have the necklace or microphone...unless I add them. I'm so impatient for more canon to work from! OR a different canon to bite me and demand yarning into being. OR commissions to make dolls of other people from photos. That's a thing I can do & it would be FUN!

d) Saturday evening some lovely anonymouse bought a Made to Order cat stitch scarf from me, but they didn't tell me what colors to use! I messaged them Sunday morning but didn't hear anything all day & hyperfixated on it, as you do. Then first thing Monday, there was a message with colors! So I spent all day Monday working on it, and then part of Tuesday weaving in all the million ends from the 45 color changes. And ouch my shoulder, but I've missed making these, so all in all, it was fun! AND, most importantly, I revised the listing to make it clear that ANY colors are doable, but you have to choose the colors! :g:

e) This is just me being fond, but yesterday someone bought the black sparkly amineko kitty with gold eyes after YEARS of it sitting on my couch waiting for a home. I'm so happy for it! \o/

healthcrap
Thursday's bone scan went fine, though the results weren't great. I may or may not have lost half an inch of height. I didn't stand up straight when she measured me, so I'm hoping not. OTOH, I haven't been exercising, so maybe so. :shrug: Yesterday was the doc appt for filling out transportation forms. I have doubts that it'll be approved, but we won't know til I send it in.

Yuletide
I keep having feelings about my fic, flipping between unutterably anxious and more or less pleased. The betas really helped, and there are many many editing days left between now and Dec 24, so maybe it'll be okay in the end. Monday night, despite my intention to stick it in a proverbial drawer for a few days, I couldn't get to sleep until after I got up and tinkered with it a little more. I keep changing sentences and hoping I'm improving it instead of breaking it. :crosses fingers and toes:

I hope all of y'all are doing well! <333




It is summer! It is finally, finally summer! I am wearing a cotton dress and the window is open and there's sunshine outside. I slept without a heater on and when I got up in the morning to let the dogs out, I didn't need to grab a jumper against the chill. It is warm and bright and man, November was so grey and chilly I'd almost given up on the sheer happiness that comes from warm weather and fresh air.

Also, we've got through November month end, so it's just three weeks until Christmas break, time for work to slow down and life to be good. (By "slow down", I mean there are still tasks to do but we can take our time, iron out the little issues and turn off the laptop at 5.30pm without guilt or looming deadlines. December really is my favourite time of year.)

...having said that, we're out of dog food so I'll have to go to the shops tonight. Fingers crossed 6pm on a Tuesday will be quiet, because weekend shopping has already hit that Christmas crowds thing where it's all a bit much.

In the spirit of sharing things that bring you joy, I've been enjoying Steve/Eddie Stranger Things stories lately, and I have to rec this one. It was recced by [personal profile] runpunkrun and it's an absolute joy. Himbo!Steve and teenage make-out sessions and Steve and Robin as BFFs:

We Better Make a Start (11087 words) by thefourthvine
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson
Characters: Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Robin Buckley
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Himbo Steve Harrington, First Time, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington Are Best Friends, Podfic Available
Summary:

As soon as Eddie gets to the counter, Steve turns to him and says, “Back me up here. Kissing is no big deal, right?”

Steve Harrington is talking about kissing. Eddie’s brain shorts out. “Uh,” he says.




And then I discovered this podfic of it, which is an utter delight. I listened to it driving home last night and honestly wished my commute was longer so I could keep listening:

[podfic] We Better Make a Start (45 words) by reena_jenkins
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson
Characters: Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Robin Buckley
Additional Tags: Podfic, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Post-Season/Series 04, Himbo Steve Harrington, First Time, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington Are Best Friends
Summary:

As soon as Eddie gets to the counter, Steve turns to him and says, “Back me up here. Kissing is no big deal, right?”

Steve Harrington is talking about kissing. Eddie’s brain shorts out. “Uh,” he says.




Sunday, December 7th, 2025 07:25 pm

trying to change momentum

This weekend seemed especially short. I woke up this morning with a headache and spent a couple of hours just lying down with my eyes covered, waiting for the Excedrin to kick in. Then I planned to make cranberry orange scones but my heavy cream was frozen, so that was delayed until it was liquid enough to pour. The funny part is that the recipe wants it to be almost frozen when you use it, but not quite as frozen as mine was.

Anyway, after waiting a bit, I made the scones and they turned out well (pic - that is also my new grey "spatter" pattern quarter sheet pan, lined with parchment).

I didn't make the glaze because I'd planned to sprinkle the scones with cranberry orange sugar, but then I forgot to do that. *hands* They still taste good!

I also made that garlic and bread soup again, but I got distracted and burned my croutons. *sadhair* Soup is still delicious, though. I wish I'd remembered to buy some arugula so I could have soup and salad, but alas, I didn't think of it when I was putting my grocery order together.

Speaking of grocery orders, when did Costco stop selling the 3 lb brick of Philadelphia cream cheese? I need it for the frosting for the red velvet cupcakes for Christmas, but I guess I will have to spend a little more and get what I need from Stop and Shop instead. *hands*

*



conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Sunday, December 7th, 2025 09:55 am

(no subject)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have twin sons who are in college at different schools. They are good kids but a bit young for their age. I don't think either of them has ever dated. I have always taught them that they should have enough money to take a woman out on a date, and right now they aren't working. I offered to give them some cash to help them in case they do want to take someone on a date, but so far neither has taken me up on it. Have I done something wrong as a mother? Why are they so delayed? -- Arrested Development

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conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Sunday, December 7th, 2025 09:49 am

(no subject)

Dear Care and Feeding,

My sister openly doesn’t like me (and has said so publicly and directly), though we manage well enough for family events. I get along with my brother and his wife, but they are horrible at communication and interact with my sister more frequently. My dad gets along with all of us and is good at communication, but lives in denial of all weird family dynamics.

Around every holiday season or major family function, I get left out of crucial information regarding plans, transportation, emergency changes, etc. One consistent hurdle: Brother or Dad tells Sister something and assumes she will pass it on to me, and she doesn’t. I have explicitly told them both to stop doing this, and they just forget, leaving me scrambling when they ask why I haven’t RSVP’d/contributed to a group gift/etc. On the flip side, neither of my siblings is particularly good about getting back to me when I reach out to them, so asking directly doesn’t help either. (Brother and his wife are notoriously bad at responses with everyone, so it’s not personal, just frustrating.) One workaround I’ve discovered is to ask Dad to reach out on my behalf, because that guarantees an actual response, but it’s irritating that I have to resort to that to get basic information like, “What time do you expect me to arrive at your house?” Is there anything I can do to make this easier?

—It’s Mean Girls Meets Finding Dory


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Saturday, December 6th, 2025 08:25 pm

on the first roll of the dice

I was so glad to log off last night and put a period on this work week. This morning, I had to be up for the cleaning service at 9 am, and they told me the company is closing, but the team who has been cleaning my place for the last 7 years is going out on their own and wants to keep me as a client, so I will get in touch with them in the new year to set up the new arrangement. I hope it all goes smoothly!

I also made another 2 lbs of candied pecans, so I have six jars filled and have to wash the other jars so they can also be filled.

Then I took a nap that felt way longer than it was, and so even though it's only like 8:20 I keep thinking it's 11:30 pm or something. Time is so weird.

*


Saturday, December 6th, 2025 05:10 pm

FIC: The View from T'Khut (Complete).

The View from T'Khut (50669 words) by Laura JV
Chapters: 9/9
Fandom: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Spock/Nyota Uhura, James T. Kirk/Spock, Sarek & Spock (Star Trek), Spock & Spock Prime, James T. Kirk & Spock
Characters: Spock (Star Trek), Spock Prime, James T. Kirk, Nyota Uhura, T'Pau (Star Trek), Sarek (Star Trek), Vulcan Characters (Star Trek), Crew of the Starship Enterprise
Additional Tags: Vulcan Culture (Star Trek), Vulcan Mind Melds (Star Trek), Vulcan Language (Star Trek), jj abrams should be ashamed of himself, Vulcan history, Vulcan mythology, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, symbiotic red algae
Series: Part 1 of The View from T'Khut
Summary:

Part I: The Absent World. The planet vanishes, but her people go on.

Part II: An Archaeology of Loss. The world-death left a scar in spacetime, and a void in the heart of the Federation.

Part III: Time and Darkness. In which Ambassador Spock fires unexpected shots.


ysobel: (Default)
[personal profile] ysobel posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Saturday, December 6th, 2025 12:59 pm

Update to a fustercluck

[Originally posted in chat; I have added paragraphs for readability]

My brother has organized an ill-advised surprise party for my father's 75th birthday.

Our father is a complete introvert and also very exacting. He likes things to be a certain way, and gets tense and angry if everything is not perfectly to his taste. He hates loud places and large groups of people. Unfortunately, he's always used excessive alcohol to handle social engagements and gets belligerent when drunk.

Because of all of this, I was surprised when my brother, "James" told me that he'd planned a surprise birthday party of 30 guests for my dad at a new restaurant. The guest list includes the following extremely awkward confirmed attendees: our aunt (dad's semi-estranged sister) who is an overbearing religious fanatic none of us can stand; our mother (dad's ex-wife) who is resented by our dad and hated by our aforementioned aunt because of the divorce; and a number of neighbors who our dad has been feuding with off and on for the last 20 years.

I asked my mom why she was going along with this and she said James called in a big favor she owed him and she felt like she couldn’t say no, so he’s pulling out all the stops to make this happen.

I don't know how James could possibly think this is a good idea, except that he has a huge ego and believes this will be some fairy tale reunion where everyone will suddenly make nice. I don't mean that James is a bad guy but he has a tendency to steamroll over people and do things "for their own good." Every argument I've made against this party has prompted him to lecture me and act like he knows so much better because he's 7 years older than me.

It's true that my Dad can be difficult but I don't want him to feel ambushed on his birthday. If James keeps refusing to cancel should I warn my dad? Or do I just kick back with a glass of wine and watch the drama unfold?


response and update )


Saturday, December 6th, 2025 09:41 am

can't sleep, prestige TV will eat me

I have watched the first two episodes of Heated Rivalry, and omg it is so much fun (and I find it better than the book tbh; the book sometimes felt awkwardly written and the show just smooths out and amplifies so many great moments). I haven't watched the third episode yet and am desperate to, but I also kind of want to reread Game Changer first, just slam through it this morning, so I can better recognize the ways it's been adapted. (And of course I want to reread the book of Heated Rivalry as well, just to see if my memory is betraying me!) And I just learned twenty minutes ago that a sequel series to Spartacus just dropped and I'm dying to check it out. And how did I miss that there was a third series of Leverage: Redemption? (And on top of all those things that are sitting on my hard drive absolutely alluring me, I'm watching The Pitt with a friend -- her first time through it; my second -- and watching the current series of Shetland both with Geoff and with another friend, and already counting the days until the Call the Midwife Christmas special drops -- and omg it's specials, plural, we get one on the 25th and a second one on the 26th and then the new series presumably sometime in the spring.)

I have to prep to help lead service at church tomorrow morning, and all I want to do today is read Rachel Reid and watch TV. Can't I just stay home and worship at the Church of Bubble Butts?

brokenframe: (Default)
[personal profile] brokenframe posting in [community profile] vidding
Friday, December 5th, 2025 11:13 pm

New Vid: Philip Swift/Syrena Fan Video - Sirens

Title: Sirens
Characters/Pairing: Philip Swift/Syrena
Movie: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Music: Sirens by Fleurie
Length: 3:08
Streaming/download at: DW | Tumblr





Thursday, December 4th, 2025 09:15 pm

so he takes it to the net

I keep meaning to post and then being too tired to string two thoughts together. Work remains stupidly busy, but I just need to get through Tuesday and it'll all be downhill from there. *crosses fingers* Even if so far only 6 board members have agreed to come in person to the suddenly in-person board meeting. I'm hoping a bad showing will discourage the folks who keep insisting we do stuff in person, but I guess we'll see what happens.

Outgoing CEO keeps trying to orchestrate the first half of 2026 and my boss and I are both like, wtf? but incoming CEO seems to be okay with going, nah, we're not doing that. I haven't been in those meetings, but the stuff coming out of it makes me feel like she's trying to prop up other internal candidate who wasn't chosen to be CEO, which would be 100% on brand for both of them.

In better news, my raise was in my check today, and allegedly the catch-up payment (it's retro to July 1) will be coming in the next pay period, just in time to start paying off Baby Miss L's Christmas gifts. I got a most delightful video of her singing "Let It Go" last night. <333 She's so cute!

*


Thursday, December 4th, 2025 09:14 am

Purrcy; The Witch Roads

Whoozat? Purrcy and I were resting together, until all of a sudden he wondered what the human was doing in his bed. Besides being warm, of course.

Purrcy the tuxedo tabby stares over his shoulder at the camera, one ear flicked off to the side, as if slightly affronted. He's lying on the bed, partly visible over the mound of someone's legs covered by a red blanket.




The Nameless Land by Kate Elliott is the second part of a duology with The Witch Roads, about Elen, a Deputy Courier in the Imperial-China-esque Tranquil Empire who gets caught up in the machinations of princes and demons, when all she wants to do is keep her head down, walk her circuit carrying mail, talking to people, keeping an eye out for deadly Spore infestations and stopping them before they spread, and seeing her beloved nephew Kem on his way in life.

Sidebar: Elen is 34, and we had a to-me hilarious convo on Bluesky when Elliott (who is 2 years younger than I am) said she was taken aback by how many readers describe Elen as "middle-aged", because *she* doesn't think of 34 as middle-aged, "middle-aged" is just a euphemism for "old"!

I think this is hilarious because from my youth I figured 0-29 was young, 30-59=middle-aged, 60+=old, that's just MATH, people, stop kidding yourselves! But then we talked about it at dinner and it turns out Beth & Dirk have very vibes-based definitions of "middle-aged" as well. Frankly I'm disappointed.

Poll #33917 Our Middle Ages
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: Access List, participants: 51

How do YOU define "middle-aged"?

30-60
11 (21.6%)

35-65
12 (23.5%)

40-70
18 (35.3%)

other set of numbers
7 (13.7%)

vibes: raising a child and/or secure place to live (home ownership, v stable rental), or could/should be
1 (2.0%)

other vibes
1 (2.0%)

other other
1 (2.0%)



Back to the duology! One reason I love Elliott is that she often writes from the POV of non-elites who don't think elites (princes, emperors, billionaires, etc.) are that great, and she maintains it, she doesn't fall into the "except for this one" trap. This is *so* rare, even writers who are making a determined, conscious effort to avoid what Pratchett described as our "major design flaw, [the] tendency to bend at the knees" will still fall into it -- e.g. by having crucial non-elite characters we've identified with turn out to be close family members of the leading elite (royalty, rich people, etc.). Which the writers do to add family drama to the mix, but which also falls back into the old, OLD trap of "only the families of the elites count as Real People".

Because Elliott really cares about the little people, even when they're spending time with the high & mighty, her plots have less narrativium than usual & more "buffeted by the winds of fate" or "let's roll the dice, WHOOPS lost that saving throw" quality. The Witch Roads story isn't "how Elen saves the world/changes her society", it's "how Elen protects her child, comes to understand herself better, and gets to a [a better place in life, spoilers]."

But that also means that on some level it's disappointing, because I've been so conditioned to expect SFF to be about how someone at least *helps* to change the world. But in Elliott's little-people fantasy, the protags don't really do that, because they're in such hierarchical societies that a change at the top really boils down to "meet the new boss, same as the old boss".

The only thing that really bugs me is a me-thing. As in Antonia Hodgson's The Raven Scholar, we have a fantasy society where people have some ability to choose their occupations--which completely overlooks the fact that in a premodern society almost everybody has to be a peasant farmer. (I'm now going down a research spiral; stay tuned.)



Wednesday, December 3rd, 2025 02:31 pm

What I'm Doing Wednesday

Rockstar Lestat
The Vampire Lestat, in his rockstar era
I love him so much, y'all. I need to make another one to this scale in the red pants; then maybe I can bear to list one or both of them, once I know I can replicate him. I'm also tempted to make a version in the brown shirt, with a fern to go with, but I fear no one would buy it because it was too much a joke. Ah well. Maybe someone will commission it.

yarning
I've made so many cat toys this week! And a 12 1/2 inch cat kicker based on the National Parks Service official Walleye pattern (I added some rounds to make it bigger), only done in bright orange, like a goldfish. :g: I took only the fish to Thanksgiving to work on, which left me with days of nothing to make after I finished it. Doh!

etsy
yay selling things! I held a Black Friday sale to try to move some merchandise out of my house, and it succeeded fairly well. The discount was deeper than I'd quite prepared for, esp with free shipping, but worth it find some things their forever homes. I also figured out (I hope!) how to do Made To Order listings on etsy, so people can request a kickbunny in the colors of their choice without buying them in the wrong colors & sending me a note asking to switch the colors.

healthcrap
had to cancel the pain clinic procedure for lack of transportation, as expected. Tomorrow is a bone scan. I started drinking coffee again at my parents' place over Thanksgiving and have continued making a small amount every day. I hope it doesn't mess up my sleep?

yuletide
I have a draft! And I learned from the Yuletide Discord that there is such a thing as "unenforceable DNWs," which are things that are unreasonable to ask of your match in your signup/letter...which means that I could have written the story I wanted to write instead of the one that I did. Oh well. Good to know that I could have messsaged the mods with my concerns, even though I didn't. Hopefully the story I did write holds together well enough on its own merits? :crosses fingers:

I hope you're all doing well, wherever in the world you are! <333



conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2025 01:18 am

Four letters to Carolyn, with no particular theme

1. Dear Carolyn: My fiancé and I got engaged on Jan. 1, 2024 — so, almost two years ago — and then my sister and her fiancé got engaged this past summer. For a whole host of reasons, my fiancé and I have not gotten far at all in the wedding planning, but my sister and hers set a date and booked a venue pretty quickly — for the first weekend in July.

Recently, my fiancé sighted a local, family-owned venue and has started saying he wants to get married there in mid-June, around our anniversary and after school lets out because there are kids in our families we want to be there. If we did that, then it would be back-to-back weddings, which I — I cannot stress this enough — do NOT think is a great idea.
My sister and I have very overlapping guest lists, for one thing. Plus, I will be in her wedding (and hopefully she in mine), and I think we would each like to be able to focus on that without worrying about the details of another big event around the same time. Also, we are from a close family, and it just feels like squeezing too much juice out of one summer. Our mom is not super healthy, and I know she wants to be there for both of us.

I would strongly prefer to postpone our wedding until perhaps next spring, and honestly since we (especially my fiancé) have dragged our feet this much so far, there doesn’t feel like much of a hurry anymore. My fiancé is upset by this and says it feels like I’m letting my sister delay our marriage. Am I being obtuse by thinking we should get married a few months later than he wants to? We have been together for almost eight years, if it matters!
— Sister


Read more... )

********


2. Dear Carolyn: How do you navigate co-parenting a teen who is wicked smart but seemingly without motivation? My 17-year-old junior signed up for four AP classes this year, even after a good conversation about the amount of work they are and his not-great track record of turning in schoolwork. He thought he could handle it.

Here we are at the second quarter, and lo and behold, he’s struggling to keep up. I’m not in I-told-you-so mode, I promise! I am trying to be collaborative, asking how we can handle things here at my house to make it easier for him to focus (should probably mention ADHD). Those conversations always feel productive in terms of treating each other with respect, but … less effective at actually getting work done.

I am solidly of the opinion that, within reason, he should reap both the rewards AND the consequences of his decisions, and if an F is the consequence of not doing the work, well. His dad is much more aggressive at his house, and frequently my son comes back to me after a row with his dad over his lackluster performance.

Dad and I manage decently well at co-parenting except for this one area. I feel like Dad is worried more how all this reflects on HIM and not as interested in who his child really is. I can relate to my kid’s struggles, having had similar problems — and also possibly being neurodivergent, too — but Dad thinks if he just lectures enough, it will finally sink in.

My son can completely articulate what will happen if he fails a class and what will happen to his college and job prospects if his GPA tanks. What’s the point of repeating it ad nauseam? I am also trying to be a safe place, but his dad thinks I’m doing absolutely nothing. I’m fine telling Dad to stuff it about the “nothing” I’m doing, because I’ve been advocating hard for my kid since kindergarten — but any thoughts on navigating this? I use what few levers I have to encourage getting the work done, but he’s 17, and I can’t exactly tie him to a chair.
— Co-Parent of an Unmotivated Teen


Read more... )

*********


3. Dear Carolyn: I have always found the holidays to be a massive pain in the neck, and I have little interest in participating. This is not a new thing; I’m 30, and I’ve always felt that way. Like Scrooge, I’ve always been happy to let others keep Christmas in their way and for me to not keep it in mine.

Two years ago, I was married. Our engagement happened over a Christmas season, so my wife was well aware before she married me that I’m not the Christmas type.

Well, you guessed it, she is insistent that I help pick out and decorate a tree, put up Christmas decorations, attend holiday events, and buy a bunch of Christmas gifts. I’ve told her point-blank that I will not do it. I’ve told her SHE is welcome to buy and decorate as many trees as she wants, but I’m not helping with it. This has led to a couple of arguments, tears and claims that I’m selfish. She’s not speaking to me after I told her yesterday that I wasn’t planning to be home for the big party she’s planning to throw.

To me, Christmas is like religion: Practice it if you want, but don’t nag other people to practice it with you, and don’t try to change people who are (or were) happy with their lives as they are. So who’s right here?
— Scrooge


Read more... )

***********


4. Dear Carolyn: Two years ago, my in-laws asked me and my husband if we wanted them to help us buy a house. They had asked before and we said no, but at this point we were ready to start building community roots, so we said yes please. With their help, we bought a house we love(d), a cozy four-bedroom house in a progressive suburb.

On a visit a few months later, my mother-in-law tutted over the two bedrooms we turned into our offices, commenting that “it will be hard to repurpose these for babies when it’s time.” At no point have we ever indicated that we plan to have children, and in fact we do not plan to, which we had to tell her then.

Carolyn, she was so upset that it was shocking. Though my father-in-law helped defuse, she bawled violently at this news and informed us that she felt like she had bought us a house under false pretenses. She eventually collected herself but was subdued for the rest of the planned visit, another day and a half.

It has been about 18 months since then, and our relationship is now chilly. I feel uncomfortable inviting them to our home because now I feel like they think we don’t deserve it. I find it hurtful to know they wanted us to have a nice house not so that we could enjoy our own lives, but to enrich their grandchildren. And at some level, I feel like we stole from them, even though it’s ridiculous.

Every week, I tell my husband I think we should sell the house, give them some of the proceeds and go back to apartment living. He says I’m nuts and to ignore his mom’s dramatics. But did we do something wrong here?
— Hurt


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conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Tuesday, December 2nd, 2025 03:08 pm

LW is, indeed, the biggest of the buzzkills

Our 6-year-old is about to lose her first baby tooth, and my wife wants her to put it under her pillow and do the whole Tooth Fairy routine. I think this is idiotic. When I said so, my wife called me a killjoy and accused me of ruining a “sacred rite of childhood.” It’s 2025, and I’m pretty sure even little kids don’t believe in the Tooth Fairy anymore. Do I really have to play along with this?

—Dad Living In Reality


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Tuesday, December 2nd, 2025 08:42 pm

fandomtrees reminder

[community profile] fandomtrees sign-ups are closing on the 5th! There's still time to come and join!

(This is purely selfish, you undestand. As far as I can see, so far there are a just two or three requests for things I could write for - I'm really hoping for a bit more in my fandoms. *g*)

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2025 01:45 pm

(no subject)

Now that I've rewatched ClaireBell's trailer after reading the novelization, I'm pretty sure the show's going to include the part where Highlight for spoilers! *Kae deliberately gives Bell an allergic reaction* (I assume that's going to happen in episode 7 or 8). I suspect episode 8 is going to be very stressful, but I think Claire and Bell will get a happy ending.

Also, I really hope the series gets some sort of home media release. Apparently GAP got a Japanese blu-ray release last December, but I'm not sure how ClaireBell's popularity compares.

Purrcy is not supposed to be on the mantlepiece, which is quite high (5ft I guess), but very occasionally he's spotted mice up there so we're not really stringent at keeping him off, even if we could.

Purrcy the tuxedo tabby crouches on a fieldstone mantlepiece, gazing at the camera. He's in front of a copper relief of a pegasus (Fletch) I made in 10th grade Art class, a jute rope dragon from Thailand, and next to a wooden box.




Every afternoon Purrcy jumps onto his little platform next to my study chair and demands Pets! Attention! & of course I obey. There are SO many purrs.

Purrcy the tuxedo tabby has twisted his head around, the better to receive neck and ear scritches. His eyes are intent, his whiskers vibrating.




So early in November I stalled out on reading a bunch of new SFF because they're all books about social change through war, and I can't think that way right now.

And then it was Nov.11th, so I thought about WWI. I read:

Five Children on the Western Front, by Kate Saunders. Saunders noticed that the boys from Five Children and It & the other Psammead books were headed for the Great War, and wrote about it. To keep this being a story for children, she added a younger sibling, Edie (Edith), who's really the focus of the narrative along with the Lamb (Hilary). He's 11 in Oct. 1914, as the story begins when the Psammead re-appears in the gravel-pit the same day Lieutenant Cyril is heading off for the Front.

In the Five Children and It the children make wishes, most of them with hilarious unintended consequences. This book is more like The Story of the Amulet,[1] with the children helping the Psammead, who has lost almost all his magic. It turns out that he used to be a god in the ancient Near East, and he needs to repent of many of his careless, destructive, godly deeds lest he be stuck in a magicless world forever.

The book is structured around the Lamb and Edie learning a story from the Psammead's history that he *should* feel ashamed about, and then being granted a wish that lets them see a scene from the present day that's a parallel to that story.

Saunders uses this structure because writing about *children's* silly wishes in the context of WWI would be obscene. She's showing the Great War as the massive, unintended consequence of (thoughtless) wishes by the great & powerful, men who have godlike power over the lives of people like Cyril, Robert, the rest of the young men of Europe, and all the people who care for them.

I think you really have to have read the Nesbit books to get the full experience of reading this one. It's definitely not "more of the same", any more than WWI is "more of the same" of the Edwardian period. OTOH, the characterizations of teen/young adult Cyril, Anthea, Robert & Jane don't IMHO follow from their characterizations in the books. Saunders has made all four of them less conventional, especially Anthea (going to art school) and Jane (prepared to fight both society and Mother to become a doctor).

I think this would be a very good book for a child who's loved E. Nesbit but has gotten a bit older & more thoughtful, started to wonder about things like the passage of time and how things change. It's a good introduction to the way WWI ushered in the massive changes of the 20th century. But warning: it WILL make you cry.



[1] It turns out I never read The Story of the Amulet as a child, only Five Children and It and The Phoenix and the Carpet. So I just started reading it now, and yikes on bikes! that's a LOT of racism & antisemitism, wow. I don't know if I can finish it TBH, though it does make The Magician's Nephew a LOT clearer. Lewis was writing a homage to Nesbit, but I have to give him credit, a little: his treatment of Calormen, especially in The Horse and His Boy and The Last Battle, is *worlds* less racist than anything Nesbit wrote. And note that Nesbit was a founder of the socialist Fabian Society, while Lewis, though apolitical, was *definitely not* socialist. Nesbit, at least in what I read of Amulet, is *more* imperialist than Lewis, though that may partly be due to the passage of time.





Monday, December 1st, 2025 07:35 pm

(no subject)

I just noticed that three of the four screenwriters for ClaireBell also worked on Petrichor. I think they leveled up and/or had much better guidance from the showrunners, because ClaireBell feels cohesive in a way that Petrichor didn't, imho. Although going by the documentary, it sounds like Ter (one of the showrunners) also worked on the script.

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