conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Friday, November 14th, 2025 09:28 am

Harriette continues to be the worst

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend and I were watching a popular TV series together. The show is based on high schoolers who struggle with substance use disorder, mental health, anger management, sexual exploitation and more. We both were making comments regarding our shock throughout the episodes, but at some point, my friend looked over to me and said he feels sorry for my future children. I was wounded. That is such a strong statement.

I tried to unpack with him what he had said, but I didn't get far. He shared that he thought my expectations were too aggressive and that no kid will be able to thrive around me. I think of parenting as a balance between structure and vulnerability, and I've always hoped I will be an honest and understanding mom. Neither of us has children, by the way.

I want my friend to know his harsh critiques impacted me and that he should be more mindful with his opinions in the future. Is it even worth revisiting this conversation? -- Bad Mom


Read more... )


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[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Friday, November 14th, 2025 05:02 am

Thanksgiving

1. Dear Eric: For the last 45 years or so I’ve hosted Thanksgiving for my family. I’ve had as many as 25 people. My sister has two sons, and they’ve always stayed with me. Quite frankly, it’s now an issue. Only one son comes but he now has three sons of his own, ranging from 22 to 8. My sister also stays with me. They come on Wednesday and stay till Friday. It’s a lot considering all I have to do for the holiday.

I know if I say something about a hotel, they will be highly insulted.

My daughter also comes and stays, but that’s different. She’s one person and my daughter. Advice?

– Overwhelmed


Read more... )

****


2. Dear Prudence,

My brother has good relationships with everybody but refuses to be part of Thanksgiving, Christmas, or large group events because he says that while he loves us individually, we’re a nightmare collectively. I get it and, frankly, I would love to do the same—my parents and wider family are lovely but bicker and squabble when they get together, particularly over politics, which gets ever uglier. But I also know that my family finds his attitude deeply hurtful. I’m stuck between wanting to opt out myself or trying to persuade him to change his mind because I can see how sad it makes my mother. My instinct is to stay out of it; we’re all adults. But I also feel a bit jealous and miffed. Is there a way forward?

—Stuck in the Middle


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****


3. Dear A.J.,

My husband’s brother, “George,” is a recovering alcoholic. He’s been sober for eight months. The thing is, Thanksgiving is coming up, and we’ve always served wine with dinner.

My husband thinks it would be completely inappropriate for us to do so this year because George is coming over, and he doesn’t want him to be “tempted.” I understand that George is going to be battling his alcoholism for the rest of his life, but at the same time, he can’t expect the world around him to be dry everywhere he goes and needs to be able to navigate settings where alcohol is served. This is turning into a sticking point between my husband and me. Is my husband right? Am I being thoughtless?

—Warring Over Wine


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conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Friday, November 14th, 2025 05:01 am

Terrible families!

1. Dear Eric: I am in my late 30s. I live halfway across the country from my parents, and don't have the best relationship with them. I also have a brother four years younger than me who I have been estranged from for 20 years.

My brother doesn't live with my parents, but he lives in the same city my parents do. If I visit, my parents will tell him and have him come over. I have no intentions of reconciling with him, as he did some horrible things to me 20 years ago which I can never forgive him for.

With my parents, things don't get through unless I take drastic measures. How do I go about conveying my desires not to see him? My plan would be to tell them they have to tell him he can't come to their house while I'm there, and if they don't respect my wishes, I simply won't see them. And that my parents can't just say they want to see me and not respect my conditions for the visit. I wanted your perspective on how I can "lay down the law" and enforce it.

– Unwelcome Home


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*****


2. Dear Annie: I'm 28 and recently moved back in with my parents to save money after a tough breakup. I'm grateful for the support, but I'm having trouble with my mom's behavior. She constantly comments on my weight, how I dress, or how much I'm on my phone. Last week, she said I'd have "better luck" if I wore makeup and "put myself out there more."

I've tried brushing it off, but it's starting to wear me down. I've asked her, gently, to stop making comments about my appearance, but she just laughs and says she's "trying to help." My dad usually stays quiet or tells me not to be so sensitive.

I really want to move out, but I can't afford to just yet. Do I have to suffer through the next few months or is there a way to get through to her? -- Tired Daughter in Transition


Read more... )

***********


3. Dear Annie: My wife and I visit our daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter two or three times a year for about three days each visit. It's a five- to six-hour drive for us. Both my wife and I have severe asthma primarily from cat allergies, and we struggle with wheezing and irritated eyes every time we visit. My SIL has cat allergies, too.

Recently, their cat died (finally), and I urged my daughter to consider not getting another one. I explained our situation clearly, stating that if she did so, we'd have to stay at a hotel or B&B during future visits. She just got two more cats.

What would you think? -- Allergic and Angry


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************


4. Dear Annie: My husband, "Keith," and I have been married for 12 years. We've always been a team when it comes to parenting our two kids, ages 9 and 6, but lately I've noticed a shift. Keith has become increasingly harsh with them, especially our oldest, "Ben." He'll snap over small things -- like a jacket left on the floor or a missed chore -- and his tone has turned cold and critical.

I've brought it up several times, but Keith insists he's "just trying to teach them responsibility." I understand that, but I worry he's doing more harm than good. Ben has started shutting down emotionally, and our younger one is now walking on eggshells.

When I try to step in and soften things, Keith accuses me of "undermining" him. I'm stuck between protecting my kids and maintaining a united front as parents. I've suggested counseling, but he refuses, saying we don't need it.

How do I support my children without turning this into a bigger conflict between me and my husband? And how do I get Keith to see that his approach may be damaging? -- Worried Wife and Mom


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**************


5. Dear Care and Feeding,

I was once an academic competition prodigy. I was one word away from making the National Spelling Bee. My family would always attend these events, including my sister. However, when my sister started her own events, like the middle school choir, my disdain for attending was quite obvious through my groans and moans. I was a high schooler myself and quite self-centered. At her graduation, I volunteered not to go and opted instead to meet them at the restaurant where we would be celebrating.

I was 100 percent wrong for doing this. Now I am two years out of college, and my sister is almost done with her undergraduate degree. Since then, we haven’t really talked, though things are mostly cordial between us. I can count the conversations I’ve had with her since I turned 18 on one hand. My sister frequently states that when she makes it out, she probably will be a stranger to the family, and she doesn’t respond a lot to my parents or other family when they contact her. I admit that we don’t have many common interests, and I don’t know much about her, but it feels wrong not to be close to your own sister. Is there anything I can do, or is this relationship beyond repair?

—Is There a Chance?


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*****


6. Dear Care and Feeding,

In the ‘70s and ‘80s, my learning disabilities were undiagnosed, and I was the “stupid” one in the family. As an adult, I know myself to be very intelligent, but my siblings never realized this, and they have passed on their attitudes to their school-age children.

The kids do not believe me when I speak to them about current events or anything fact-based. When they ask an adult at large to spell something, and I reply, they check my response with another adult. I told one of them a medical fact, and they told me flatly that their parent was much, much smarter, and their parent said otherwise, so I must be wrong. (The fact that I do not work due to a medical issue probably contributes to their perception of me as extremely unintelligent.)

My siblings think this is hilarious. I am hurt. I want to have a relationship with the kids while I still can. I have tried explaining learning disabilities and multiple intelligences to the kids, but I think they just see it as me lecturing them. I only see them every few months anyway. Is this battle even worth fighting? If so, how?

—The Uncle


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*****


7. DEAR HARRIETTE: How do I get someone who believes in tough love to understand that that does not resonate with me? For a long time, my siblings and I have had strained relationships with our mom because of how crass she can be. She has strong and often negative opinions, and she is not shy about sharing them. I was recently admitted to a two-year college. I am in my late 20s and didn't prioritize college when I was 18 like my parents wanted.

Apparently, there's still some resentment there, because when I announced which school I'd be going to, my mom snickered and asked me if I was proud of that school. When she realized that she had offended me, she said that she was trying to encourage me. I can't keep letting her impose her negativity on me. Mocking me is NOT encouragement. I don't know how to get her to see that, though. -- Never Good Enough


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****


8. DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got into a heated argument with my dad, and it's been bothering me ever since. The fight started when I told him I wanted to move to a different city for a job opportunity. He criticized my decision, saying I was being reckless and that I should stay closer to home where things are "safe" and familiar. I tried to explain why this move was important for my career and independence, but he kept bringing up past choices he didn't agree with, like leaving my old job and choosing a career path he hadn't expected. Before I knew it, I was yelling back, telling him that I need to make my own decisions and that his constant criticism feels controlling.

We haven't spoken in a few days, and I feel a mix of frustration, guilt and sadness. I love my dad and value his opinion, but I feel like he doesn't trust me to make my own choices. I want to reach out and repair our relationship, but I don't want to be the only one apologizing if he doesn't acknowledge his role in the argument. How do I approach him in a way that expresses my feelings honestly while also opening the door for reconciliation? Is it possible to set boundaries and stand firm on my decisions without damaging our relationship further? -- Dad Divide


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conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Friday, November 14th, 2025 05:19 am

Geez, this dude....

Dear Eric: Over the course of our 26-year marriage I have caught my wife in numerous lies. We started marriage counseling three months ago and during an early session I asked if we could finally be truthful with each other, no more lies. No such luck.

Years ago, her brother suddenly fled and left all his belongings. She put them in storage but when I found out I told her to remove them or have him pay the monthly fee. Today I discovered she has been paying for her brother’s monthly storage bill for at least 10 years without my knowledge. That comes to $16,500. It may even be higher.

Initially she said she was being reimbursed. I asked for proof. She said she would show me. Then she changed her story to say it's her money and she can spend it however she chooses, so forget the proof. Pretty sure there never was any proof of reimbursement. My wife believes the best defense is to go on the offense, and she does it a lot.

I am married to a liar, a sneak, someone with no conscience. What should I do?

– Deceived Again


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conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Friday, November 14th, 2025 03:50 am

(no subject)

My 5-year-old daughter, “Wren,” has been a nail-biter for the past six months. Nothing my husband and I tried could break her of the habit. Then miraculously, she stopped. When I mentioned my relief to my mother-in-law, she took credit for it. Then she told me her “solution.”

She told Wren that her hair would fall out if she kept biting her nails! I’m not sure how to feel about this. On the one hand, I’m pissed my mother-in-law would lie to my daughter. On the other hand, it worked. Do I need to tell Wren the truth, or can my husband and I (at least for the time being) keep up the ruse?

—Something to Chew On


WTF )


conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Friday, November 14th, 2025 01:08 am

(no subject)

Dear Carolyn: I recently completed a major renovation project to my backyard, and my mother expressed disappointment that I haven’t invited her over to see it. I told her I was waiting to do a big unveiling, but the truth — which I confessed to my brother — is that I’m anxious about her opinion because she and I have different tastes.

She is the type of person who will always compliment you verbally, but you can often tell by her expression how she really feels. I described her as rather fake, but my brother said I am being unfair. He pointed out that I could be accused of being equally judgmental by holding against someone not their words and actions, but my own belief about what’s going on inside their head, whether or not it’s true. I had never thought of it that way.

My brother never seems to care about other people’s opinions. I’d like to try his mindset, which seems very freeing, but I don’t know how. It’s especially hard to embrace the idea that I’m supposed to just let it slide when I feel silently critiqued or when someone is only being nice to my face.

Am I oversensitive? Then what’s the right level of sensitivity? Any tips for me?


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Thursday, November 13th, 2025 10:44 pm

(no subject)

I was panicking a bit the other day when I realized by library card has expired, but it turned out there's an online form to renew it for a year! (I was mostly worried about making sure I could keep the same number)

To Embers We Return continues to be really good and I'm really loving Dragon Subjugation Incantation (both translations updated recently)!

My copy of The Beauty's Blade also arrived yesterday! When I'd checked the tracking number a few days ago the ETA was the 17th, so it was a nice surprise. It looks like it's been selling well from various retailers' best seller subgenre charts, so hopefully they'll be publisher interest in licensing more.

I've also started volume 1 of Thrice Married to a Salted Fish. I like it so far, but I feel like QJJ has spoiled me a bit w/r/t female characters in danmei novels.

Thursday, November 13th, 2025 08:20 pm

you're keeping calm, you're aiming higher

Today at work, they announced that we will be getting a COLA, retro back to July 1! My boss also floated a potential promotion for me (really, the work would mostly stay the same, but the title and money would be better) for after the new CEO is in place. We'll see if that ever happens. It would be cool if it did, but I won't hold my breath.

I thought I had other things to say, but I fell asleep on the couch after I logged off work and now I'm all fuzzy-headed.

*

Thursday, November 13th, 2025 10:03 pm

bad/good

Bad things:
  • Ten-hour days at work.

  • Brains that are mush and will not word.

  • Too many appointments next week, on top of work.

Good things:
  • Super mild November weather that let me ride a bike today (during my lunch break) without getting chilled. And tomorrow again, it looks like!

  • Delicious home-cooked food from the freezer that only needs heating up with zero effort on my part. (Thanks, past me!)

  • [community profile] ficinabox has a two-week extension! Now I can expand that thing I wanted to expand. :D

  • [community profile] fandomtrees is open for sign-ups!

In conclusion, the good things are better than the bad things are bad. Yay? *g*



 Hello Escapaders! 
 
Registered for Escapade 36? Check! 
If not, get your reg in soon as the price increases from $135 to $150 on Sunday, Nov 23rd.
https://escapadecon.net/escapade-36-registration-in-person/
 
Hotel reservation made? Check!
If not, head over here:
https://escapadecon.net/escapade-36-hotel-and-registration-information/
 
Now the fun part, tell us what you want to see for programming!
https://escapadecon.net/panels/panel-nomination/
 
We promised that if you’re one of those people who loves to bounce ideas off of other folks, we will have panel submission brainstorming parties, and we weren’t kidding!
 
Panel Suggestion Parties will be on Discord, in the atrium voice and chat channel, on these dates/times:
Saturday, November 15, 2025 1:00-4:00 PM Pacific PST
Saturday, December 13, 2025 1:00-4:00 PM Pacific PST
 
If you want to participate in one of the parties and aren’t on Discord (yet), email info@escapadecon.net for an invitation.
 
If you’ve never made panel suggestions before, the parties are a great way to see how ideas end up as panels and to get inspiration from what others are saying.
 
For the Escapade “Old Timers” among us, come to the parties and share what fannish fun is keeping you going these days.
 
-Con Com
 
https://escapadecon.net/escapade-36-price-increase-and-panel-suggestion-parties/



Wednesday, November 12th, 2025 10:00 pm

Writing update

In order of deadlines:
  • Fic in a Box: I'm deep into the rewriting/editing and can't talk about any of it without breaking anonymity. *g* Reveals were supposed to be Saturday night, but we'll know by tomorrow morning whether there'll be a delay. It's looking very likely, and honestly, I'm not complaining.

  • Yuletide: Only a very vague idea so far. Once FIAB is over I'll do thorough canon revision (thankfully it's not one of the fandoms where that would take me fifty million hours), hammer out a proper plot, and then there'll be plenty of time left to actually write. It helps that December will be less busy at work again!

  • Five Figure Fanwork Exchange: Until today I only had a very vague idea of "I want to do something in that era of canon that my recipient mentioned", but today I went on a walk during my lunch break and a concept popped into my head fully-formed. I still need to figure out about half the plot, but that's for after Yuletide. (Unless it just pops into my head like this too! I wouldn't complain. *g*)

  • Other writing: Ahahaha, what other writing? I have no time and so many things to do. RL is so busy right now ... /o\


Tuesday, November 11th, 2025 08:56 pm

threadbare tapestry unwinding slow

So I'm back on my HGTV bullshit again, and I just watched an episode where Egypt and Mike designed "the ultimate bachelor pad" for a dude who plans to entertain his friends and family for cards and football games, and who has two enormous dogs, and they put a WHITE COUCH in his living room. Who DOES that?

Otherwise, it was a nice reno - the three-seasons deck especially. But a white couch just seems like a terrible idea for 99% of people, let alone a guy with 2 huge dogs.

*



minoanmiss: Minoan girl lineart by me (Minoan chippie)
Tuesday, November 11th, 2025 12:40 pm

I took a step back and feel like I'm failing


AAM was exciting recently!

Read more... )



5 things make a post:

- This New Yorker profile of Costco was super interesting, I thought, as I ordered several pounds of pecans from Costco to make holiday gifts for various co-workers.

- The Giants once again had a lead for most of a game and then lost, plus their rookie QB ended up with a concussion. I texted the family group chat that that should be enough to finally fire Brian Daboll, and sure enough, today he got canned. Woof. What a miserable few seasons it's been. Hopefully whoever the next coach is (and the current interim coach) will protect Dart a little better.

- Will the Rangers ever win a game at MSG this season???

- It's the 50th anniversary of the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, so give the song a listen. It still makes me cry every time I hear it. "Does anyone know where the love of god goes / when the waves turn the minutes to hours?"

- I don't have a fifth thing.

*






As usual I attended and liveblogged Thursday's What's the Plan? Indivisible meeting, and instead of reporting on all of it I'm going to pull out some parts that I think are super important and illuminating. So I guess this is more journalism than just straight liveblogging.

Ezra and Leah said that Tuesday's Blue Wave election results were the best they've seen since they started Indivisible in 2016, victory after victory in states all around the country. What was the difference? The largest peaceful protest in American history 2 1/2 weeks before the election! The organizing and community-building we did to put on #NoKings all across the country, and then the people came out and showed our strength (we have friends everywhere!), that built to these victories.[1]

Looking forward, we *know* that the Regime is going to try to steal the 2026 election. And we know, from talking with experts on authoritarianism and how it plays in other countries is that a hinge point where you have the choice to go full authoritarian or swing back toward democracy is a national election. And the way you swing back is a *massive* popular response.

So #WhatsThePlan for the next year is to build toward that point, because we *know* it's coming.

We redistrict the blue states we can, to counter Texas and other red state gerrymandering. California has shown the way, IL is talking about it, VA now has a chance, we're pushing MD. NJ & NY can't do it this cycle, but we can push them to threaten it.

And now primary season is beginning. Local Indivisible and other groups get together, look hard at your Democratic Reps and Senators, especially the ones in safe Dem seats, and say, is this person actually *fighting* for us? The Democratic Party is incredibly unpopular, less popular than the actual fascists! We need to start building a party that people can believe in, and that is a fight-back party.

The next big #NoKings event will be in the spring (stay tuned!), we'll continue to organize, build community, make sure everyone knows that the regime is planning to steal the election because they know they can't win it fairly. Be the public outrage arm of the fight. Be the force to run up the margins to not just one House seat or 2 or 3, but 10 or 20, too many for them to easily steal. And then if they do try something, we'll have built up the organizational muscle that we can call on a mass mobilization to say No, you can't steal this election, we the people won't put up with it.



You can watch Thursday's What's The Plan? here on YouTube; the transcript is here.

[1] they didn't mention it this time, but when people have talked about the results they've noted support for CA's Prop 50 was notably wide, in many reddish counties as well as the blue ones. In the build-up to #NoKings II Ezra&Leah said the CA protests were all going to be Prop 50 events--and there were #NoKingsII protests all over the state, not just in the blue areas. We have friends everywhere.

My sister texted me yesterday to let me know she's sick so I shouldn't go over there today, so I did not. So today, instead of making pie, I made Chinese pork buns (pic). I made the pork yesterday and used the leftovers today - I used boneless country ribs because they are fairly cheap and I don't like dealing with bones. I can't seem to get a good boneless pork shoulder these days - last time I ordered a bone-in one, it was supposedly 3 lbs, but it was 2 lbs of bone and 1 of meat, which is not the best ratio for the money - so I go with the boneless country ribs instead (the ones from Costco are especially good).

*

I shouldn't have been so enthusiastic the other day about how much better I've been sleeping, because of course, on Friday night, I had a terrible night's sleep, tossing and turning and just unable to stay asleep after several hours of trying to fall asleep. Last night was much better. *hands* Sometimes, it just be like that.

While I was lying awake, I was thinking about Dungeon Crawler Carl, as I have been wont to do lately, and trying to figure out his relationship with Bea, because I find it kind of baffling. spoilers through book 7 )

*



Sunday, November 9th, 2025 09:38 am

brrrrr

We're getting our first snow today! Possibly a lot of it, too; the forecast is for more than fourteen cm with high winds and a risk of freezing rain and ice pellets, and they add that they're still not sure of the exact track of the storm. And we haven't put the winter tires on yet.

So I'm getting Geoff to drop me at church, since it's not bad out yet (I hope), and I'll walk home. He'd rather I just took the car, since he thinks it's safer to be in a car than walking, but I feel safer walking than driving, and I'm the one doing it, so I win. I'm not looking forward to the walk, except that in a weird way I am, because it will be a challenge? I hate being cold, I'm already feeling the winter slug blahs setting in (and I've been using my SAD light for a few weeks), but it will feel good to have done it and come home to a warm drink. Also I am bundling up as though it were minus twenty, so what I'll do when it actually is minus twenty I do not know.

ETA: well, it's dusk and there's been zero accumulation today, a light dusting of snow on grasses but nothing on asphalt. But it was hard-hailing tiny painful bits of ice the whole time I was walking home, like needles in my face, and footing was iffy; the local-traffic-and-safety Bluesky account has reported fourteen car accidents in the metro area this afternoon. So I'm glad I walked home. And I'm also glad that Geoff put the kettle on for me as I came inside, and that we had excellent sourdough to toast up to go with my tea.



Saturday, November 8th, 2025 10:26 am

Fat Joke

Last night Geoff and I went to see Cheyenne Rouleau's one-woman show "Fat Joke," which is a hilarious and absolutely wrenching ninety-minute monologue on fatphobia and a whole lot of other things along the way. If this is the kind of thing you think you might like, her tour is going to British Columbia this spring, but you can also watch a taped performance at https://digitalstage.ca/fat-joke/. (Do pay attention to the content notes, and be aware that missing from that list is discussion of traumatic and near-fatal pregnancy complications.)

I feel so glad that I now live in a place where a) shows like this run, and b) I can comfortably get to them! (Also that I'm partnered with a guy who finds riffs on White Man Math funny and painfully true rather than offensive.)

Highly recommended.




Friday, November 7th, 2025 07:54 pm

Fiction (short takes)

Kelli Storm, Desolate: Mia is a witch in a world concealed from but intertwined with mundanes; her ADHD makes her powers unpredictable. When things are going badly for her at high school, she accidentally sends herself back in time, which creates further problems both magical and romantic. This was too YA-ish for me, but I think it could work for an actual teenager who would empathize more with the emotional stakes.

Patricia Lockwood, Will There Ever Be Another You: A memoir-ish thing about surviving covid with a brain injury, dealing with a husband’s illness, and trying to write a TV show based on her previous book Priestdaddy. It conveys the hallucinatory disjointedness of brain fog, but for that reason was mostly inaccessible to me.

KJ Charles, All of Us Murderers: In 1905, the reclusive heir to the family fortune calls his potential heirs to him, offering everything to whoever marries his young ward. One of the heirs has ADHD and thus has found it difficult to keep a job, especially after being discovered in flagrante with his lover—who turns out to be the heir’s personal secretary. Everyone else in the family is a nasty piece of work, and then strange things start happening in the gothic pile in which they are trapped by mists. It’s fast-moving and very (gayly) gothic.

Caitlin Rozakis, The Grimoire Grammar School Parent Teacher Association: After her five-year-old daughter is attacked and turned into a werewolf—a severe breach of werewolf law—the protagonist, her daughter, and her husband move to a tony Connecticut suburb full of magical creatures, where her daughter may be able to get an education among people who understand her. But the new school is full of traps—high-stakes testing, Mean Girl moms, financial shenanigans, and a pesky prophecy that might involve her baby girl. I liked the fact that the issues were driven not so much by magic but by people trying to game the system (as rich Connecticut denizens are known to do).

T. Kingfisher, What Stalks the Deep: Another short Alex Easton novel, this time set in America, where a strange sighting in an abandoned mine heralds something very creepy indeed. Avoid if “gelatinous” is a no-no for you.

Deborah Tomkins, Aerth: Novella about an underpopulated, cooling world that discovers Urth, on the other side of the sun, which has similar languages and human beings but is hot and overpopulated. The noninterventionist, consensus-based culture of Aerth seems healthier than the headlong rush to authoritarianism of Urth, but that doesn’t stop its inhabitants from feeling choked by their obligations, and there might be a few secrets in its past too, though Tomkins isn’t very interested in that except as background. It wasn’t for me.

The End of the World As We Know It, ed. Christopher Golden & Brian Keene: A collection of stories set in the world of Stephen King’s The Stand. (They all seem to have agreed to go with the date of 1992 for the plague instead of the initial 1982; there are therefore fewer anomalies/more actual engagement with the world in 1992 than in the revised version of The Stand, though I did note a character who was not online using “FAQ,” for an anachronism in the other direction.) Most of the stories are set during the collapse and therefore don’t add a lot, and more of the stories than I’d hoped are set in the US. There’s one story set in Pakistan that is quite interesting—this is all Christian nonsense to them—and one UK story that really gets the vibe right.

Naomi Novik, The Summer War: Novella about a girl—daughter of an ambitious lord—who accidentally curses her brother when he leaves her behind after renouncing his family because of his father’s homophobia. In her attempt to fix the curse, she allies with her remaining brother and tries to navigate a political marriage, but otherworld politics complicate matters. It’s a pleasant variation on Novik’s core themes: Epic people can be very hard to live with; power must be used to serve others or it is bad; loving other people is the only thing that can save us.

T. Kingfisher, Hemlock and Silver: A king seeks out an expert on poisons to treat his daughter, Snow, who is mourning the deaths of her mother and sister Rose and keeps getting sicker. There are apples and mirrors and magic in the desert, as well as a little romance among the very practical people. It’s nice that the healer was a scientist even dealing with magic, and the imagery is genuinely creepy at times.

Melissa Caruso, The Defiant Heir: Second in a trilogy. Amalia, heir to an Italianate ruling family, continues to fight against the planned invasion of her empire by the neighboring mages. I could wish for a bit more Brandon Sanderson-style working out of the magic system, but it was still a fun read.

Freya Marske, Sword Crossed: Luca, a con man on the run, becomes the sword tutor of Matti, heir to a noble house. (This is romantasy without magic—just nonheterosexist family structures and different gods than were historically in place.) Their connection is problematic because Matti needs to get married to save his house, and he hired/blackmailed Luca into being his “second” in the expected challenge by a disappointed suitor. So falling in love with Luca is really inconvenient. Marske’s best work is handling the arranged marriage—they like each other fine and Matti’s intended has rejected the suitor who won’t take no for an answer. But I wanted magic! If you are fine without it, then this is probably more enjoyable.

Will Greatwich, House of the Rain King: Really interesting, unusual single-volume fantasy. In the valley, when the Rain King returns, the water rises until a princess comes from the birds to marry him (and die), and then they recede. A priest, an indentured servant, and a company of foreign mercenaries all get caught up in the struggle to make the Rain King’s wedding happen. There are also undead guarding treasure as well as fairies and marsh-men, who have their own roles to play.

Nghi Vo, The City in Glass: Short novel about a demon whose city is destroyed by angels; her parting curse sticks with one angel, who keeps hanging around as she slowly decides whether and how to build/love again. Dreamy and evocative.



Friday, November 7th, 2025 02:26 pm

if the Mississippi should wash me away

Imagine my excitement at reading this interview with Bob Mould this morning: How Bob Mould rediscovered the great, lost live Husker Du record not because of Hüsker Dü, whom I liked but didn't love, but because he mentions that Sugar reunited. I LOVED SUGAR!!! If I Can't Change Your Mind is 3 minutes of PURE POP PERFECTION and one of my top 5 songs of ALL TIME. Back in the 90s, I saw Bob live solo at least twice (once pressed right up to the stage beneath him and his guitar at...Irving Plaza? I think?), and saw Sugar in concert at least once (maybe twice?). Copper Blue is full of great songs, as is Bob's first solo album, Workbook. (Black Sheets of Rain was also good but less accessible, imo.)

If Sugar actually tours, I might leave the house to see them!

I have other, less fun, work news, but I should probably save it for a locked post sometime later. Sigh.

*



Thursday, November 6th, 2025 11:02 pm

(no subject)

When the Hacker is Forced to Marry by Shan You He Ye (translated by Riptide):

Read more... )

In terms of other books, I'm about a quarter of the way though my Reading the Remnants reread.

Thursday, November 6th, 2025 03:05 pm

unwillingness to claim us

Alas, despite me getting up early this morning, the cleaning ladies did not come! They did say last time that my regular appointment might need to be moved going forward, but then I got the confirmation email for today and figured maybe that wasn't happening. But they did not show up so I emailed the company and they were very apologetic, and now they are coming on Saturday at 9 am.

on Sunday, I'm going to my sister's to make the apple pies for Thanksgiving, since my brother-in-law, who does all the holiday cooking wants to simplify* what needs doing on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, which has traditionally been the day we make pie.

*"Simplify" should be in quotes, because for Christmas, at least, we keep telling him we're good with an apps and dessert style menu (personally, I keep advocating for pajama!Christmas) to no avail. He gets about 90% of the way there and then is like, but what if someone wants ziti? or ham? so idk. He also won't cut back on the antipasto, which is what everyone ends up filling up on, so then no one wants the big meal that follows.

On Thanksgiving, I personally would prefer a roast chicken to turkey, but truly, as long as my brother brings the stuffing and there's pie, I don't really care about anything else. The fancy cranberry relish is nice, and I won't say no to a dollop of mashed potatoes, but overall, I really do only want the stuffing.

Anyway! I took Monday off since we are off Tuesday for Veterans Day, so my plan is to make char siu again on Saturday and then finally try to make pork buns on Monday. We'll see how that goes.

*

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