Thursday, December 27th, 2018 03:02 pm

beta please

Anyone available for a beta on a story. Fandom is Breakout Kings, involves maybe all the warnings (may eventually need to invent new warnings), but also a roadtrip across the greater US. It's--um, long, but also sectioned, and I'm only sending the primary plotline, not the kidnapping of the cannibal part when my id needed--that.

...that probably wasn't reassuring, no.

(I do have a Christmas present for DtA fandom that will be posted here, I just ran out of holiday time to clean it up after it was beta'ed. Before the first is my goal.)
Rewatching Black Butler and legitimately just stopped typing on twitter because I legit thought Ciel and Sebastian were about to make out.


They never do, but they spend an inordinate amount of time staring at each other from way too close. I get this is the genre, but dear God. prep for Avengers 2, which Child and I are going to watch on the thirtieth. He's now six feet tall and can squish anyone who gets in our way. Sure, I already reserved our seats, but that's just for fun.

Technically, I may not need it, but whatever, it's Marvel Time: I am watching all the Iron Mans, Thors, Captain Americas, and Avengers, but not Black Widow because hey, they haven't made her a movie. And Agents of Shield, because it exists.
season one spoilers I guess? )
brief contextual digression )
Back to Other People )

Yes, that was indeed a lot of words.

Okay, I gotta ask: is there any May/Skye fic anyone would recommend? Gen/friendship or romantic or a slow burn starting with the first and going to the second by preference. I have no idea why it appeals to me, but it really, really does.
Child's slowly growing rage at Teen Wolf for Derek's man-(wolf-?)pain is possibly the best thing about the show I don't watch. I don't need to, honestly; once a week, come the apocalypse, Child drops down disconsolately on the patio swing to talk about his epic feelings about Derek and Stiles and how they're being epically abused by $whoever.

One of the (hilarious) advantages of growing up fannish is he's on a good balance of way too invested and overenthusiastic (entertainment forever) but cynical as hell because he's been through All the Ship Wars Ever by proxy, so everything is old news as far as he's concerned.

And then there's this (semi-verbatim, this was weird):

Child: it's like the Ray wars, mom.
(note: using mom is always, always a warning sign.)
Me: ....sterek is like the Ray Wars? Wait, how?
Child: Yeah, it's like--
Me: I wasn't in the Ray Wars. We started watching way after the Ray Wars.
Me: Hold on, were you even born then? Potty trained? Able to argue with me?
Child: ...what does that have to do with it?

I'm sorry, I didn't find out how Sterek is just like the Ray Wars, I'll get on that, but seriously? To be fair to him, he was around during my ranting John Sheppard days, so yeah, that might have helped form his sensibilities.

Other random conversation (this is partially verbatim, because wow, that was a bad moment):

Child: you have any ideas for a name? I need a new one.
Me: Those are personal, but--wait. Why do you need a new one?
Child: Reasons.
Me: What did you do?
Child: Nothing.
Me: You know I can check tumblr, right?
Child: Not that one.
Me: The secret one I'm not supposed to know about?
Child:, it's--nevermind.
Me: It's not xxxxxxx one, is it?
Child: Stop breaking into my computer.
Me: Lock your screen once in a while.

(note: he actually didn't do anything, he just gets bored with consistency. I'm not sure if I'm relieved or disappointed. Also, his password security is getting much better. Who says invasion of adolescent privacy has no practical benefits?)

I wonder what it's like to be the teenage fanson of a fanparent. Knowing fanparent is out there somewhere, anywhere, separated from you by three degrees of tumblr or less at all times, hideously aware of her hovering presence and getting recced 'oomg did you read this!1!!!!' written by her or her bffs (this happens), and horribly, horribly aware she could show up in your fandom at any moment and may do it just to fuck with her fankid because why not?

I feel like I've been waiting for him to hit this level of self-awareness and horror all my life.

Dear Fanparents,

This is so much fun, you have no idea.

Watching the dashcon tag on tumblr and the FFA threads is now a lifestyle choice. And now ONTD has picked it up.

In case anyone wants to catch up (vaguely in chronological order of posting):
First FFA Thread on Dashcon
Second FFA Thread on Dashcon
ONTD on Dashcon
Dashcon Tag on Tumblr

Personal favorite quote from FFA:
From browsing the tag, the people at Dashcon have entered into this peculiar headspace wherein one more normally finds hostages and cult victims: the backlash has been so severe that anyone who even had a good moment and lacks certain critical self-check features is now in "extreme Con defense mode."

Starts with $17,000 and goes down from there. Also, a ball wading pool and bouncy castle.

ETA: From anonymous commenter: Dashcon owner about Dashcon, posted in January - I can't tell if anonymous is defense or prosecution here, but it's an interesting link.
The Six Most Horrifying Sex Scenes in Fan Fiction Part 4 - which okay, let's not pretend here, this was hilarious. However, it isn't link worthy except for the author's aside in Number 5: Teen Wolf Has Amputee Sex With Characters from War and Peace

Once again, this scenario leaves us with numerous questions we suspect we'll never have the answer to, such as who is the audience for this? Is there a large segment of the erotic fan fiction consumer base that A) has read War and Peace, B) watches the MTV version of Teen Wolf, and C) has a male pregnancy fetish?

That's the fangirl equivalent of asking 'what is the sound of one hand clapping'? Or possibly a corollary of Rule 34(d): if it exists, porn will be written for it, and three quarters of your audience will spontaneously realize they're totally into it upon reading. Yes, there's an audience, adorable Cracked writer; we invent those, too.

Like sure, you're not into explicit cannibal serial killer pornfests, but what if one is a god, one is a mythical monster, one is the main character from a made for tv movie about a real serial killer who are all played by the same actor as half the participants? Sign me up, and give me a minute to Venn diagram this. Sure, you're not into almost hilariously feminized bottoming, but what if it's an universe with biologically enforced gender stereotypes and they all have wings and claws and self-lubing asses and get knocked up like a lot? With quintuplets? With elf ears? Someone just read this paragraph and is going 'okay, but where the fuck can I get all of this in one story? Is there elf ear penetration? Fuck you, this is teasing." Yes, it is: why hasn't someone written me this? Slaughterhouse 5 AU would be perfect.

Audience; done. We can do it before there's a story. Thus ends the lesson.

Cracked is in so many ways awesome, but every once in a while they stumble, dewy naivety and wide-eyed innocent upon fandom and come back, shaken, saying 'have you seen...' and the answer is 'yes, there's a tag for it on AO3; do you need a link?' Cracked, you're not horrifying me; you're giving me a reading list.
My life, now:

1.) Teaching Child the Finer Points of Do Not Engage.

He's a Sterek shipper but loves the whole cast--seriously, even the annoying ones, it's weird--and a hardcore Destiel shipper who likes Sam, and Tumblr is a daily test of his ability to not get his ass doxxed before he's legally no longer my responsibility. It's a countdown to eighteen, when he can play the youtube, instagram, and facebook personal humiliation angle to his heart's content. Per usual, he finds this completely unfair; this would be, he explains, a learning experience for me as a parent; how to deal with your fanboy kid when he becomes the subject of a massive fandom-wide wank. I reminded him I've been here longer and I have an army and I will troll his ass into the ground, because that too, is a learning experience; do not stress your parent during weirdness at work.

BTW, I need an army, just in case. Anyone got one I could borrow? No reason.

2.) So That Family Legend Thing Was Like, Real?

A couple of months ago, we got a random letter from a firm in Colorado or Oklahoma--I should know this, but it's just so weird--to the estate of my grandfather, who died twenty-one years ago, so passing to my Dad, who died almost two years ago, to us, check enclosed. Not much here, but thing; we own mineral rights somewhere since like, my great-grandpa's time (who died before I was born), or possibly my great-great-grandfather (eighteen freaking hundreds, folks), or so we were told. Much like the Sasquatch and the Loch Ness Monster and the theory of trickle-down economics, it was told over campfires (barbecues and polish sausage?) as a thing that no one actually believed because seriously, who believes trickle-down works?

Right, I digressed, and here's another one; I come from a long, long, Jesus long line of sharecroppers, semi-subsistence farmer, serfs, and ethnic Wends Lutherans running away from religious persecution due to a union between two disparate versions of Protestantism in Bavaria (I looked this up and I still can't tell the difference, but all of them were going to hell from what I understand) while also failing to get anywhere above 'growing enough food to continue the family line, and how'. Which let me say is an accomplishment and possibly a miracle. Some of us live in the Rockies and don't talk to people or possibly shoot at strangers, it's a thing we do. I've heard bears are involved.

So you see why our first reaction was hysterical laughter followed by wtf followed by calling and being genuinely surprised this wasn't a poor British widow whose colonel/general husband died in India (to this day, I still think it was an email from Victorian England; there's no other explanation) but an actual lawyer--seriously, passed the bar and everything--and so many years ago, some great (-great?) grandparent split up shares between their kids and lo, for the first time ever, that shit was 1.) a real thing that was real and 2.) produced (a very small) amount of money that was actually real and came in legal tender form to be--not kidding--deposited in an actual account without anyone (FBI?) muttering "suckers" like those poor people who thought the fake Publisher's Clearinghouse check was real.

Again, very small amount (somewhat more if I kill all the other heirs, the math is very interesting if my how serendipitous genealogy information is accurate but depends on if this is great or great-great-grandpa as origin (if it's great-great-grandpa, I may need a professional consultation for the number I'm getting on the number of direct descendents, because huh, calculators don't lie)), and this proves 1.) wow, so evil really is a light-switch, who knew and 2.) these things actually happen?

The universe moves in mysterious ways. My entire worldview is in revolution, or something.

3.) So That's a Much Better Interpretation Than Mine and I Wrote It.

I read a fantastic review of one of my fic and it was both surreal and gratifying beyond words, but what really got me thinking was reading it again out of the context of the fandom at the time.

It's not just author death in this case; it's well over a decade, the fandom has progressed past all recognition, but far more interesting to me is that it still works, just in a completely different way than it did then, and in some ways much better because it can stand alone like this. To get my intention in the fic--and the readers at the time picked it up immediately--you had to have read not just several other fic in the fandom, but been in the fandom and subject to the atmosphere at the time, enough that you were--if you were me--deeply committed to being very tired of it all.

The thing is--and I say this with mixed feelings--I'm torn on Death of the Author. I don't necessarily believe it, but I'm a massive fan of people who are and practice it, and the reason is why I'm in fandom in the first place. A text is static--it's words on the page, they can't change--but people do, over a week, a year, a lifetime, an age, a millennia. The idea that we are reading Homer exactly the same way as the Greeks did the odd thousands of years ago would imply we've managed, quite literally, to have progressed absolutely nowhere except invented flight and cellphones. What we read, how we read, how we process it, what we see in the text and what we take away from it better be subject to change.

I remember high school and college English as a dark period of my existence--I've never gotten over how I couldn't get the teacher to debate The Lady or the Tiger in eighth grade and I will take that to my grave--and the noble papers I wrote on the real meaning of The Yellow Wallpaper (ghost, obviously) and A Good Man Is Hard to Find (why am I reading this, two thousand goddamn words of making up shit; Man Is Fucked Up, what do you want from me?) and a plethora of forgettable short stories and novels where I was asked to describe what I got out of it and how that was very wrong because reasons (unknown, but definitely there). If there's one defining characteristic of fandom, it's that we all care deeply about the one true interpretation as meant by the author/writer/producer right up until we disagree with them and kill them immediately and write the one true true interpretation their blood, and you get this is metaphorical, right? I can see how that'd be a concern after point two. Metaphor, promise.

Text doesn't change, it can't; it's words. People should. I will happily take a thousand Moby Dick as unsettling psychosexual drama with man/boat/whale threesome on a semen sea--I'll need therapy, but whatever, I'll take one for the team--than risk the stagnation, however small, however irrelevant it may seem, of human thought in which we cannot comprehend the idea of seeing something new, a thought that didn't exist when Homer wrote it that exists now. Anyone who tells you there's nothing new under the sun's never seen anything but a single candle in a dark room.


Brief afterward; it has been a very unsettling work week and insomnia is apparently a feature. I'm kind of looking forward to reading this when I'm rested and relatively sane again. In that way I will never be able to mock Child's tumblr posts again from any kind of high ground, but hey, he won't know that.
So I started watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix and just made it to season fourish. I think. I expected--hoped--for another ER, which no, this is not, but I did get excited because I liked none of the character and therefore no shenanigans were off limits whatsoever, which is a fantastic way to watch a soap opera-y medical drama. "Be more of an asshole to your ex while doing neurosurgery!" was my motto, and they fulfilled this beautifully.

I don't know that I love this show--I'm not sure how--but I ran into a problem I didn't see coming. I started finding characters I liked.

it all goes downhill from here )

Now secondary news. My middle sister gathered everyone together yesterday to tell us she's pregnant with her fourth kid, who is due in October. This is much funnier as my uncle was holding court very recently about how four kids in a family was far too many. As her last kid is eight months old, this is going to be a lot of diapers in one family soon.
Watching third season of Vampire Diaries with Child--because he turns it on when I'm in the same room and it's hard to walk away when you've already invested five seconds in it--and I came to a startlingly obvious conclusion about Stefan and also, fanfic tropes applied to television.

so that's what it looks like: a ramble on the nature of television trying to go where only fanfic should ever tread )
Child finally hit Vampire Diaries, and admittedly, I was curious what he'd make of it. Trufax, I read the books years ago and I liked Stefan and Damon both pretty much equally (Stefan kind of won with green eyes like leaves; I was young and green eyes are still a thing with me, I have no idea why), but the show, true to form, made me vary between liking Stefan and kind of wanting to set him on fire. This is not actually entirely because the show doesn't do good Stefan--it's just they do much, much, much better Damon. Damon does random ass musical numbers; Stefan stares longingly at containers of blood. Stefan does stoic manpain with brief moments of happiness; Damon's high-manic social disorder mainpain murderboy, but it's like, hilarious. Damon's high drama is set to covers of eighties and nineties bands; I mean, how can you not love this just on spec.

Child loathes Stefan. He can do no right. There's this inner rage that I haven't witnessed since the days of Due South Kowalski dislike before he got over it. And for the life of me, I can't figure out where he got it from. I was forcedfed all of season one I missed and part of season two and I'm telling you, I don't know what crime Stefan has committed in Child's eyes and asking gets me this look. And the thing is, I'm a fangirl. I know how to hate a character and cherry pick my rage here, but all I got is Stefan may be too boring in his angst, which doesn't really work in context of Child's chilling hatred.

It's like staring into the abyss and recognizing yourself, really. You with an active tumblr account at an early age and a distinct inability to rationalize your hatred properly before expressing it. I feel I missed something in his education; maybe I should send him to my Smallville reviews for a primer on how to hate with canonical evidence?
For the enjoyment of the masses:

MOD ANNOUNCEMENT: Fandom_wank Tenth Anniverary! and within that post--dear God, it's like Christmas--is a list with links of the greatest wankers of all time.

We are talking horsefucker (his wife? a horse.), MsScribe, the Second Life dude with his unnatural feelings regarding his My Little Ponies, CrystalWank (pastede on yay!), Snapewives, LaptopGate, and frosting/icing wank, amongst many. With. Links.

It's all the magic you can handle. Some of it in the form of chaptered novels.

Staring into the abyss has never looked so good, and better, the laughter echoes.
Okay, so I finally found a use for Tumblr--tracking the Mikey Way/nineteen year old model thing.

This is one of the side effects of fangirl osmosis; I never got any closer to bandom* than AIRPS, which is like, maybe a second cousin at best. However, in SGA fandom someone released a John Shepherd vid to Welcome to the Black Parade and end result--I ended up buying their albums and eventually ended up reading unholy amounts of MCR, Fallout Boy, and Panic! At the Disco (with and without !), sometimes combined with Cobra Starship, fic due to certain friends who shall remain nameless and filled my inbox with links for no particular reason, and to this day my playlists are suffering from the aftermath (Fallout Boy is the one that I cannot entirely explain though I've used the lyrics for subject lines at work before during fits of rebellion. They're the weirdest earworm music ever).

However, my total attention was engaged when [ profile] svmadelyn told me in passing that Mikey Way had done something, which is how I not only embraced tumblr, I went to goddamn ONTD, which after the entire Britney drama days I swore to myself I would never return. Perez might have also been visited, though it causes me physical pain to admit that. I can't even explain the fascination, though part of it is assumed suffering of friends, but most of it is just this weird feeling I read this story in fanfic but I don't remember how it ends.

(* There is an unspoken time where I wrote N'Sync that was never posted anywhere. Ever. Like, three people know it exists and only [personal profile] shinetheway ever saw it, and I deliberately renamed the files so I can't even find it. I blame post-Smallville pre-QaF transition trauma or something)
Thursday, January 24th, 2013 09:55 pm


[personal profile] svmadelyn just told me that [ profile] valerie_z died today. I got to know her in QAF fandom and she met her IRL at the Slumberparty 2004 in New York. She was brilliant and incredibly sharp and hilarious, and someone extraordinary has been lost to the world. My thoughts are with her close friends and family.
Randomly during lunch reading the coffee shop/high school AU thread on ffa and who writes them and why, I was trying to work out if I have ever even read a coffee shop AU because honestly, I couldn't think of one except the Inception one I was recced while in a three AM chat convo fugue state and I still don't know the title because the rec was The Coffee Shop With Delicious Pastry one or something. I mean, now I do since I'm looking at it, but I'll forget in about five minutes because it's, you know, The Coffee Shop With Delicious Pastry one.

Sidenote: okay, I mentioned doing this years ago, but I actually still log on delicious everything I read by fandom and pairing, month, year, month/year, author. No, not kidding. The new delicious is way too annoying now for me to achieve the most accurate reflection of my anal nature to have more tags than actual stories, but I figured on the theory that any fandom that I read more than 100 fic in, probability suggests I should have at least a few that involve coffee shops. I lost plausible deniability on my reading habits being highly driven less by quality or believability and far more by specific id buttons the day I read the surprise!magical cannibalism fivesome semi-RPS serial killer AU fic because unrepentant evil being cuddly with each other in the afterglow of violent crime that also seems to include a digression into a la carte-ing the remains satisfies the part of me that likes how strong relationships are based on shared interests. Apparently, adding in spontaneous shared snacking on human flesh is no longer a dealbreaker, and no, I'm just not even thinking about that too hard if i can help it.

I got off topic there.

Survey says; I apparently read a lot of these, but for reasons, I've never thought of them specifically as coffee shop AU fics because this more a thematic thing for me. Most of them, unsurprising, are what I re-read during periods one might call stressful and need to be soothed, but not all of them are exactly coffee shop AUs. All of them involve coffee, sometimes to the degree it could qualify as its own character, because I associate a triple espresso with comfort and meaning in life. A couple of these are not only fandoms that I have no knowledge of the canon of, but if I remember correctly, I was unaware existed, but somehow involve people in coffee shops, though not necessarily a coffee shop AU. I really don't even remember how I found some of these, to be honest. While I'm not sure on this being universal in my readings, I sense there's a high probability that there is at least one scene in most of them where a character's coffee order requires ten or more separate terms to describe it, because I just really seem to like complicate coffee products.

It vaguely bothers me that I very early on picked up my taste for dystopia, apocalypses, wholesale urban destruction, anything involving a lot of high powered weaponry including anything involving a sharpened blade, rain, and domestic efforts at remodeling a shared space (it's curtain AU, but like, with power tools and a working design theme by one of the characters), but that Inception fic was literally (from dates so far) the first of a whole series of I Feel Things About Characters And Coffee and I didn't even notice I've been engaged in a really intense relationship with coffee through the medium of a surprising variety of characters, some whose canon may preclude being corporeal, much less the existence of coffee.

Pastries seem to show up a lot, too, but that could be because I was hungry at the time and unconsciously gravitated toward vicarious eating.

I don't know how I feel about this development in my fannish habits.
Posted on ff_a (I find in general news gets there faster than pretty much anywhere):

I suddenly find my interest in CBS's Elementary, the Sherlock reboot, going up. Like a lot. I would likely watch Johnny Lee Miller as Holmes because I'd watch Miller as Man Who Watches Paint Dry for two hours because I had a deep and meaningful experience with Hackers in a movie theater at a formative age. Lucy Liu I have loved since she first showed up on Ally McBeal and managed to be super, super quirky and abrupt and fun in a show where everyone doubled down on quirky like a lifestyle choice. And I really can't talk about my feelings about that show because for the life of me, I'm still confused, and I watched it to the bitter end.

(Short version; it was brilliant and annoying and stupid and I loved it and it made having a soundtrack and background singers to your life perfectly normal. I can honestly state it did a lot to make me a lot more comfortable with the fact that certain points in my life I walked into meetings comfortable that hearing Eye of the Tiger as I stared my presentation was a-okay. Hearing Bodies Like Sheep during other meetings, however, might be more questionable. And I admit that it was unnerving to test programs to the complete Eminem collection even when it pretty appropriate, all things considered. I have feelings on Ally McBeal. Like a lot of them.)

It'll be annoying if they try to force her into the mold of Person Who Keeps Genius Grounded, but her general work outside of Ally McBeal tends me toward the idea that she's a skilled enough actress to make it far more nuanced than it would seem to be.

I may actually end up watching this really enthusiastically just on the strength of this casting and how Liu and Miller will interact with each other.
I just discovered Roswell for free on Amazon Prime. The only reason I was ever interested in watching it was to get context for jengrrrl's Michael/Maria, and that was in the day that you could not download episodes or stream them so I had to watch current episodes and read summaries.

...God, how did we survive? I mean, there were mailed tapes, but I just realized I don't own a VCR anymore. Okay, digression, moving on.

One, I'm weirded out by how many of my favorite songs are on here. I mean, I resigned myself to a terrifying amount of SV and Dawson's Creek related playlists, but there's a really uncomfortable realization that the WB was far more insidious than I ever expected; I have a horrible feeling that if I were to check soundtracks for WB shows from when WB opened until, oh, today, a terrifying amount of my most played music was played on one of their shows or introduced by them.

Also, Max and Michael are ungodly hot. Are their cheekbones made of razors or something?
Okay, if you watch Big Bang Theory--is it wrong to still hate Leonard? I have a bad feeling that Leonard's biggest problem is that I want to set him on fire (metaphorically). I can't even figure out why, except it's like, he almsot embodies Nice Guy, in a geek variation, and--well, fire.

Kindle is not delivered yet, so I am kind of hyperexamining my life and my media choices.
Thursday, September 15th, 2011 08:39 pm

tv: downton abbey

New season coming up this next weekend! Because that was a very stressful ending.

daww, spoilers for season one )
I am not watching Atonement just because McAvoy is indecently hot in it. It is a depressing movie. Watching the trailer makes me cry. Well, to be fair, because I read the Wikipedia article first because let me tell you, that trailer did not imply happiness. It kind of implied unshaveness and hotness, but I don't trust that to tell me if there will be crying into my keyboard.

Dear McAvoy,

Have you made a movie where you didn't a.) die tragically before reuniting with the love of your life, b.) have to leave the love of your life due to her refusing to run off with you and leave your family destitute, c.) turn into a giant sandworm (though to be fair, you didn't lose the love of your life, her being your sister) or d.) get shot by the love of your life on a beach due to a philosophical issue and some tragically bad aim when he deflected bullets?

...or Wanted--are you kidding me? MY ONLY ALTERNATIVE TO HYSTERICAL CRYING IS THE MAGICAL WEAVER ASSASSINS WHO WORK OFF A GODDAMN LOOM OF FATE? Though I do like guns and shooting things, so there is that.

*stares at Amazon cart* I can't believe I'm doing this. There has to be a point in a media fan's life where they say "This far, no farther," and honest to God, two months ago the Loom of Fate would be that point.

Hating self,

*hands* Oh, do not judge. I've been rewatching Children of Dune for years. Now you see why? Look at what I have to deal with. Giant sandworm, yes I can see how that could be questionable sometimes, but running around the desert half-naked and making out with his sister? Awesome. Also, he gets drugged and writhes a lot and really, so what giant king sandworm thing, there is writhing.

Manual Crosspost: Posted at LJ.
Tuesday, July 19th, 2011 10:01 am

in mourning

From [personal profile] cereta, [personal profile] batdina, and [personal profile] wickedwords:

[personal profile] sherrold has passed on. The world is infinitely less with her passing.

To those who loved her, my thoughts are with you.
Okay, granted, I have been conning and now am family vacationing in the Gulf region (where the water is very warm and the grass just too disturbingly green when one can see teh ocean like, fifty feet away), but...

Another Doomed Attempt to Monetize Fanfic aka Person Buys Pooh (yes, as in Winnie the), Twilight, and LOTR fanfiction archives and like, I feel someone, somewhere cut me out of the Fandom Psychic Network of Hysterical Laughter. Which hey, who did that again?

This is a very serious, totally serious issue, but I keep getting stuck at that particular combination of fandoms because you have to know he does not look upon this and see the hilarity, which is sad because look at that combination. I mean, I was trying to come up with a more unlikely set of fandoms to start Fandom Is My Profit Quest and I'm just failing utterly. I mean, Hetalia, Rainbow Brite, and Minesweeper have the right WTF but not the sheer, unearthly, almost surrealist beauty of sparkling vampires living next door to large-footed hobbits and staring in bewilderment at the rise of Mordor in the distance while Pooh wanders by looking for his honey (and possibly being eaten by vampires, which now is upsetting me; Tigger will fuck their shit up for even trying and I don't know about anyone else, but Piglet's sociopathy isn't what I'd call well-concealed).

I'm not comfortable that is actually a working plot, for the record.

It's kind of annoying we seem to be getting the bargain priced entrepreneurs who lack some fundamental steps in My Business Plan Let Me Show You It, but it's also just grating that when approaching the strange, savage society of fanficsters with their simple ways and strange, exotic, foreign customs, who have been waiting with bated breath for someone to show us the magic of capitalistic enterprise and so forth, the literacy quotient here is so tragically low. Also, the ability to use the magic of google and possibly, the sense required to breathe.

See, I grew up reading Pooh and LOTR and I have in fact slogged through Twilight and the fourth book that made it all so very worth every moment, but I can't assume the person in question read them because again, look at that combination for a fandom enterprise. I felt the natural order of fandom shiver a little, but also, much worse, someone right now is writing a crossover for this, and that shit I don't forgive.

There's also how very, very cross the Tolkien estate gets about things. Like, IDK, Using a Fictionalized Version of Tolkien The Person In a Historical Fiction Book That Does Not Involve Any of Tolkien's Fiction (No, This Is Not Tolkien/Hobbit Porn and More's The Pity For Sheer Why Not-ness), so going out on a limb, it may be possible screaming I WILL MAKE MONEY FROM LOTR FANFIC at the top of your lungs is a course of action which probably will lead to a room with free coffee and a lot of people in suits the price of the average yacht whose first language is Legalese, both spoken and written.

I've heard Disney may be a bit odd about that sort of thing as well; could be wrong. Can't say I am following along with what the Twilight franchise has as policy; I bet google might help.

I'm also guessing they missed the concept of RPS? What a fascinating introduction this will be. I think on page two.

Two people below teh age of fully comprehending verbal communication just found me on my secret balcony to stare at me meaningfully. I'm pretty sure from their expressions they, too, disapprove of this unnatural combination, though I'm still sketchy on how they got through a locked door. I think they may be a bit too young, however, to fully appreciate the horror of Piglet/Edward, though. Maybe when they're four.

Elf's Links I'm still glutting myself on. Sometimes the best things in life really are free.
It's just, okay, see, Erik. And People Skills. Which he, let's all admit it, lacks.

how to recruit well and wisely when one wants to start a revolution )

I have a seven page essay on the movie I haven't finished so far. Yeah. I--find it weird.
Sunday, May 1st, 2011 11:27 pm

Kiscon 2011

Kiscon, a Star Trek TOS/Reboot Con, is still open for congoers. It is June 24 - 26, 2011 in Los Angeles, California, where I have been reliably informed there is a grilled cheese cart somewhere in the city and by God, I shall find it, in between squee of Spock and Kirk.

The tentative programming is up here.

God, my first actual Star Trek convention. I am so excited.
...Frank Herbert is never going to get a good adaptation of Dune, is he?

Yes, Dune 2014, once Dune 2010 and Dune 2012, in which the part of Paul Atreides, the Kwizatch Haderach, Muad'-fucking-Dib, he who can fuck your shit up because he really does know exactly how you will die (in detail), Emperor of the Known Universe and whose knife fight with Sting--er, I mean, Feyd-Rautha--that I watched during the fragile cusp of puberty and--well, yeah. Did you ever see that fight? Step off, that was awesome--will sparkle.

Yes. The father of the Giant Sandworm of So Not Subtle Political Philosophy--or God Emperor of Dune, whatever--is Robert Pattinson and I don't think I will survive knowing that.

And okay, call me crazy, I really want an adaptation of God Emperor of Dune--and if God loves me, Heretics of Dune and Chapterhouse; Dune just to see what they do with the entire Emperor Sort-of-a-Semi-Libertarian-(if-we-are-really-flexible-on-the-definition-thereof)-Sandworm (Leto, wtf) because come on. I can't see how it could possibly be good. I don't care. I want my goddamn Sandworm God movie with the random bouts of political monologuing, the great ennui of being a all-seeing, all-knowing sort-of-sandworm, the really uncomfortable realization that Duncan's clones are fucking his other clones' kids and again, wtf Leto, before we get to Chapterhouse: Dune and get really confused about 'imprinting' and--oh.

It just hit me that Duncan, in all his lives, always gets fucked over whenever he's dumb enough to nail an Atreides. I guess I know what my first purchases are for Kindle next month.


District 9 Vid to Inama Nushif - I haven't actualy seen the movie, but I really enjoyed this one.

Strange Infatuation by silverautumn, Heroes, Mohinder/Sylar. Beyond gorgeous, with near-perfect timing and oh. I almost forgot how very much I ship them.


I am saying, the father of the Giant Sort of Sandworm God shouldn't sparkle. I do not think my sanity will survive it.


Maybe Not Happening? - I should not be this relieved something I love isnt' being remade, but--Pattinson. No.
Monday, March 21st, 2011 06:04 pm

awake on a monday

My week so far:

1.) Firefox has been conquered, I now have javascript access. Take that. That means I can be online sometime other htan work hours.
2.) I made Beef Wellington and it is so good I honestly believe I may have just been promoted to minor cooking deity.

Beef Wellington, modified

...okay, it's not true Beef Wellington, though the recipe says it is. From, Individual Beef Wellingtons.

I went for a cheaper cut of meat for my first run through, since we all love tenderloin but not at $18 a pound for the first run at a dish that also involves me working with wine. Using two round steaks instead, I did pretty much the rest of the recipe as-is, but salted the meat on both sides and very lightly peppered one side of each. I sauted fresh mushrooms, half an onion, a stick of butter, and one half cup of red wine instead of sherry (I am not of the fondness for sherry), the mix never did hit paste level, but it worked pretty well anyway. I'd recommend three-quarter-thawed puff pastry at minimum--partial thaw was not easy to work with and it didn't quite puff as it should have. Side new potatoes boiled in their skins then mixed with parsley and butter (we are not a margarine people) and green beans. Total time prep to cooktime is about one hour, including thaw time for pastry. I'm thinking I'll be ready for tenderloin near a major holiday, or when I really want to impress someone.

It's excellent this way, tbh. My next step up will be with ribeyes and add Worchestershire sauce and mix a couple of the recipes together, since I don't like making anything the same way twice. I'm seriously considering one of the variations with pate. I don't like liver and I am not fond of meat in the pate form, but as a layer between the meat and the pastry, it may not be as objectionable. I also want to try a wine reduction instead of cooking it all down and then browning the meat in the saute before wrapping in the pastry; this cut was too thin to bother, but when I upgrade I'll get thicker cuts, as this one cooked well-done and we're more a medium-rare to medium family.

on cooking )

my life, oddly enough )

fanfiction for the kindle ) that was rather long.
Friday, February 18th, 2011 11:00 pm

so much diaf

Surfacing from work, work, God, work....

Notes on the Mage Storm trilogy.

1.) If you read The Mage Storm trilogy, Karal will desensitize you to Mary Sues forever. I mean, to put it this way; I like Lavan now. I like Lavan Fucks-a-Horse and Firesong Loves-Reflection-Too-Much so much my heart beats for them. Myste seems a well-rounded, realistic character. They aren't Karal. Who seriously should have died in a fire, and I swear I forgave Firesong everything ever for perpetuity for hating him. Just. DIAF.

2.) Now I remember why I stopped reading the Mage Storms trilogy. That was a nightmare. But Tremane made it worth it.

3.) If Elspeth and Gwena could be more smug and self-satisfied, I'm pretty sure they would explode.

4.) For a woman whose people sent demons after other people for fun, Solaris et al have an awful lot of self-righteous rage for Tremane assassinating Ulrich, who was also a demon caller and you know, I bet he might have like, sent them after people. You know, since that was his job and how he got his special robe and all.

5.) An'desha - die in a fire. You were so annoying when you got all 'healed' which seemed to mean 'being a dick and whining a lot' and 'being a dick and smug about it' and 'being a dick because you are finding a Higher Spiritual Plane'.

6.) Seriously. They brought back Tarma from the dead to talk about how awesome Karal was. I--what? Are you kidding me?

7.) Irony--Elspeth bringing assassins to assassinate Tremane for--assassinating people. Weird--no one seemed to think that was strange.

Notes on The Last Herald Mage:

Vanyel is awesome. I mean, this could be because Karal brain damaged me, but that's okay, you know why? Vanyel isn't Karal. Also, because only Vanyel could have a twink half his age with tons of sexual experience panting after him and not like, notice. And then when he does? Angsts about it. Oh Vanyel.

Final Notes:

Why is there no hate Karal groups? We need one. I want to join it. TEN WAYS KARAL DIES AND THE WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE.

This has been a message from me and my Kindle bonding.
So in a bout of truly useless self-improvement, I sat grimly down at my computer and decided it was about time to break my aversion to visual porn. Of all the things in my life that need improvement, I honestly dont' think this actually qualifies, but in certain circles, it is theorized that society conditions women against visual representations of sex (and also, most porn is hideous aesthetically), so if anyone asks, I'm totally doing this for greater freedom from the patriarchy.

But again, most porn is, for me, really hideous and weird and there's a really questionable amount of semen involved that seems to get everywhere, and you may not know this, but that sort of thing bothers me, because I worry they have some kind of ball-related overproduction disease and porn is how they're paying for medical treatment.

...yes, I almost wrote porn possibly-rps/fanfic and I do hate myself just a little. But not that much.

So I reviewed all my sex-watching related experience--in media, thank you--and decided to start off with something that didn't require pausing for me to get over my hideous embarrassment, and something familiar enough that I've read porn about and so could deal with the reality. Then I thought, oh right, Gravitation Remixes, that'll work! Neat pages, all stills, I know the storyline and oh, look at all those pairings! And threesomes, foursomes and possibly a fivesome there.


NSFW observations below. Possibly more so than any porn I have ever written, tbh.

so that was new )

I am on a journey, people. This is but one small step.
Okay, am I the only one who is desperately in love with the kudos function in AO3? It's like tiny cookies left in my inbox. Not that I do not adore regular feedback (or epic length examination, whoo boy, do I love), but kudos! Tiny cookies of happy! In inbox!

This has been a message from she whose amazon boxes of manga goodness arrived today. Also, I'm on volume three of loveless. I have no clue why I'm reading this. I'm not even sure where they came from (barnes and noble), or how I got them (with a credit card). Okay, lies, but there was this other one with a guy with a really creepy red hat and vampires. And a wicked sword for cutting people (vampires?) up; maybe a war? I was more staring at the sword, tbh. I really feel I should have gotten that, too, but I'm trying to like, set a good example, which would have worked better probably if I hadn't just agreed to get him Sin City next month because apparently my parenting skills when it comes anything readable consist of "Shiny," and "Wait, don't I have this somewhere?" or more depressingly, "How can you be my kid and not know that's in the box under my bed/in the closet on the top shelf/if you can't find it, you don't deserve to have it".

My life lessons - invasions of privacy and being sneaky. Well done, me.
So I haven't actually hit my limit on a credit card recently, and boy, I did try; I ordered Brotherhood and a surprising amount of manga and I'm already sobbing quietly in rewatching the first series. I still hate work, I'm in a terrible mood, and it's time to change formats altogether and stop watching Fullmetal Versus Flame because even for me, that's getting creepy. And by that, I mean, that's really hot. Because there's finger snapping fires, and somehow, I always forget that I like fire and explosions and I don't know why I keep forgetting my zen is in fact fire, explosions, and fighting. If this could conceivably be combined with porn, pretty sure my purpose in life would be to watch it over and over again. Which is why it's on while I'm writing this. If you see misspellings, blame Roy. Christ.

I don't get it. Al and Winry are the only even semi-nice characters. Everyone else is either a dick, an asshole, or a combination of the two combined with what very well could be incipient psychosis, but then there's these glimpses of utterly heartrending moments of intense vulnerability where I totally fall into this huge pile of heartbreak and it's just weird. Also, I really love the violence. God, do I love the violence. I really need more of this.

Tuesday through Friday next week are going to be brutal and may end badly unless I can get out my feelings in some productive manner. If I order today, I get it by Tuesday from amazon. Recommend me something new to watch? Or read. I can hide it under my desk while trying not to write things into my defects like "are you high because you thought this was a good idea? My son can code better than this." Which is true, but I don't want to be fired. I think.

(And if you have Fullmetal Alchemist fanfic recs, please. I avoided it for years, then hello, that was dumb; why did I avoid it?)

Oh look, fight's over, need to watch again. At some point, I should get bored, and yet, I never do.
Between work and insomnia, I think TMI is about to reach epic levels of wtf.

It occurs to me, belatedly, to be thankful I am a.) not part of any famous writing partnership or b.) famous at all, due to my sudden and really uncomfortable flashbacks to losing my two writing partners early on in fandom. And thankful before God and man that LJ, diaryland, and online blogging had not reached fandom yet, because I'm imagining my twenty-something year old self having access to a blogging platform, an audience, several CDs of Sarah McLachlan, and a sense of righteous wrongness. Private then, thank God.

[personal profile] svmadelyn is the only one I ever really talked to about it, and even then, it was weirdly complicated: I couldn't just say "there were these people I wrote with" because God knows, I don't like simple and I am not exactly the minimizing type; it was "they wrote with me and then left and I want to burn our wips that we never finished; instead I zip filed everything and pretend it never happened." Cause I'm classy like that.

I mean, there is a moment when you have to sit back and think to yourself, you really need to let this go.

or so you'd think )

If there is a happy Beatles fic out there without foreshadowing, I think it is hidden somewhere and I will not find it until I have read another hundred fic that make me want to get really stoned and really drunk. I have to stop reading this; I'm seriously craving a joint and I really never got into that. And I only drink once a year. And they're very girly drinks, ask anyone.

I am thinking it would probably help, on a sideline, if work would back off long enough for me to breathe. I need retail therapy. Luckily, Christmas is obliging that nicely.
fringe 3.09 )

Now that that is out of the way, music! As it's been a while.

My Chemical Romance - The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys

I didn't expect to like the entire album; they're either hard hit or complete indifference. So far my repeat-one is Summertime to the point I have unconscious and conscious lyric retention. I haven't done that since Adam's entire goddamn album. I can't tell if they changed or I have; I need to listen to their earlier albums and find out. Eventually.

The Kings of Leon - Come Around Sundown

I only pulled two of their songs so far, Radioactive and The End, and I play The End against Summertime on a two song multi-repeat playlist. I couldn't even tell you why, but they work like that like espresso and mocha. The End especially appeals to me; it's still a repeat-one. They're nothing like One Less Reason or Hurt, but this song is so much the odd stepbrother of Use Somebody. The only thing that irritates me with them is whatever they recorded in is heavier than pretty much anything else I have and I have to adjust my sound a lot so it balances.

Wars - Hurt (single)

I love the entire few seconds of stripped down vocals leading to getting hit by sound like a truck. I cut it with The End and Augustana's Hey Now, but on it's own it's intense enough; unlike the songs I liked of theirs, this is some gorgeous music above and beyond the vocals and lyrics, and a world away from Falls Apart in sophistication if not in the music itself; less violent, less brutal in execution, even if the intensity is the same. Then again, I'm not sure anything can match Falls Apart for me. I like feeling it quietly before I'm slammed into the concrete with what they're getting across, and Falls Apart kept eerily calm before bringing the world to its knees.

Stand By Me - John Lennon (single)

Off Power to the People that went on sale at Amazon during Black Friday week, so I grabbed it because he's a musician I appreciate more than like. I know he's amazing and his work is seminal, but he's like going to listen to the orchestra or a night of chamber music; it's not music I live to, more music I have to sit down with and really absorb.

Which is how I spent a week going around singing Power to the People and Give Peace a Chance a few decades too late and asking people if they want a revolution. Which yeah, don't we all? Stand by Me, don't get me wrong, will always be Ben E. King for me, but it cut through a lot of the block I had on John Lennon as a popular musician, not just a superstar, icon, artist, and activist. Being hugely respectful of a musician's work is apparently a really good way not to want to listen to them. Imagine, gorgeous as always, and even better cut with A Perfect Circle's haunting cover. I remember only vaguely when he was killed, but my parents were apparently extremely affected by it. Considering they are both conservative and not terribly into music, that's saying something.

Which is why I went ahead and got pretty much the entire Beatles catalogue.

That probably needs an entry of its own, because so much of it, again, falls into music that I know intellectually is amazing, groundbreaking, that inspired and even defined a generation, but it's not emotionally engaging for me, though I like it. Let It Be is in most people's blood by now, but I fell in love with it all over again listening to different versions, then Paul McCartney doing it for Good Night New York, where it broke my heart. Here Comes the Sun was a surprise; I forgot I loved that song. Revolution, Revolution 1 and Revolution 9 back to back was an experience, and I took a detour for Bruce Springsteen singing War (What Is It Good For?) which, just leave me alone, IDEK what happened there? The aesthetic of the Beatles, like Elvis, like even Janis Joplin, feels like I'm missing a crucial generational element of absorbing it as more than an intellectual exercise. Not that I don't like; more that the gut-level obsession doesn't kick in.

I need to work on that.

Save Me San Francisco - Train

I like most of it, rarely love it, not since Drops of Jupiter that once held the record for all-time repeat-one for eight months while I was writing Jus Ad Bellum in X-Men. Yeah, no idea why. I adore that song. Overall, this album is so much better than their first, but I don't adore any one song. Not yet anyway.

Drift Away - Dobie Gray (single) and Drift Away - Uncle Kracker

Classics are classics for a reason. This is pretty much what set me off on Let's Discover John Lennon when it came on the radio and I immediately really needed the song right now. These two versions are similiar right up until you realize how much they aren't; the same bright energy and richness of experience, the feel of a guitar and a dusky porch and celebrating the wonder of rock and roll, but two such different men bring their experiences to the song. Gray's voice is beautiful, and Kracker's enthusiasm is just uplifting.

I'd kill for a woman to cover it. I was trying to think of someone with the kind of voice to carry it off, then realized that was stupid; the voice didn't matter, but the feeling behind it does. I'd like to be surprised and have a modern cover made to round it out.

Everybody Knows - Concrete Blondes and Everybody Knows - Taller Children

An already eerie song taken a new eerie direction. Concrete Blondes captures the despair and resignation and grimness of reality gritty and dark and matter-of-fact; Taller Children is experimental with a hard, stripped wooden beat and a woman's nearly expressionless voice and someone using maracas in a very unsettling way, before a sudden melodic line that completely throws the song. I don't know how I feel about it yet. Third part is gorgeous and not as unsettling and with a uneasy, bouncing beat thing. I can't background this song. It's like Taken By Tree's Sweet Child O'Mine cover, which granted, I heard it the first time in the trailer of Last House on the Left crooning over torture-murder-rape, but even without it, the song leaves me a little uneasy. Then again, so did Guns and Roses, and for so many reasons.

Interstate Love Song - Stone Temple Pilots(single)

I always think I don't like them, until I count up how many of their songs I have. The thing with them, it's love or turn off the radio, and that's a lot of songs that turn off the radio. I like this one, though I can't tell why exactly; it's just fast and rushing forward.

Dust - Augustana (single) Hey Now - Augustana

For five songs total that I like by them, my playlists are dominated with them. Dust, like The Frays You Found Me just work for me, though totally different in pretty much everything; despair and your musical approach to expressing it are illustrated by them. Hey Now though....

For some reason, that one has gone into secondary renaissance for me, and I burned that one out this summer on repeat. I kind of blame One Less Reason for being so endlessly dark and Hey Now is just--not. I can't explain why it worked for me or how. The slow, subtle build, the instruments creeping up on his voice, despair turned sideways into something like hope, or at least a kind of narrow-eyed determination for something more, something better.

Which covers current adventures in music. I'm bracing myself for a Pink Floyd and Sister Hazel marathon due to Black Friday MP3 sales at Amazon. Pink Floyd is another aesthetic that has never clicked (with one or two exceptions); this should be explored. Or something.

Anyone else have musical thoughts? Recs? Ponderings?
So this is a bad day already (hello system environment, are you drunk? LOAD), but I realized two things:

1.) I brought my laptop to work for a reason.
2.) So I can play the The Borgia's trailer on it forever while I work.

So I am. My day got exponentially better.

Trufax, I am in it for the Lucrezia, the Cesar/Lucrezia, and God willing the Cesar/Machiavelli, because come on, Machiavelli wrote him love letters. Thing is, Jeremy Irons is ridiculously hot as Rodrigo (Pope Alexander VI)and while technically speaking I never had a particular kink for religious authority figures who at the time of their reign were second only to God in their power...yeah, that changed abruptly. Who knew?

But mostly it's Lucrezia, whom I have loved since Cecilia Holland's City of God, which I read as a wee Seperis and was really confused that the Pope a.) had kids and b.) everyone was okay with this.

Why is it not spring yet???????
(I am only half-here; work has gone downhill, and in so many ways.)

Okay, so I didn't think I'd like it. Oh, I was very wrong.

Oh my God The Borgias.

Hello, incest, orgies, murder, and power: I don't know how this could be more awesome unless sent me a pony, too.
Moments of WTF: Inception.

Aversion for media often doesn't preclude fannishness; full disclosure, I liked Leonardo DiCaprio when he was wandering around less than five miles from my house filming a movie with Johnny Depp and being method and adorable and sixteen and apparently despite crippling shyness would wave at all the ten to fourteen (ninety) year old girls who would go after school to watch filming. Trust me, that sort of thing sticks with you.

(It also helps when I watch the movie, I can identify the places: that's Wal-Mart! That's that weird house! That's that field that people do donuts in! In one single frame somewhere, you can see the edge of my school!)

Which is how I end up in messes staring at Cobb/Arthur and Cobb/Sainto going where the hell is more of this? Inception, we'd have existed in a state of suspended hostility of you'd just cast someone else as Cobb.

(It is not that Hardy isn't awesome; I am saying, Hardy was not around during the first stages of puberty. And DiCaprio at sixteen was like the most awkward teenagerness you can imagine, like he had no idea on earth he was ungodly hot and why are all these rural girls not looking at Depp?

You may have had to be there, but like, five seconds of watching him was like my entire twelve to twenty; there was connection. I'd basically forgive him murder for those moments of body language of utter wtf, puberty sucks, puberty in eighty percent humidity opposite Johnny Depp sucks so much more, it's hot, there are girls watching me, oh my God is there water, I need more water, hi girls, tent, tent, tent, makeup, more water going to die now kthx, great, time to climb a water tower it's five thousand degrees what if I have to use the bathroom?, I'm sweaty and there are girls watching me (we so didn't mind), ohh, it's METHOD!TIME.

*hands* Conditioning works, yo.)

I'm not so much ashamed as surprised that still influences me so heavily. I mean, there's a fair to good chance I watch any movie he's in based on the fact he was around at a very developmentally crucial point in my adolescence and projected about the same amount of miserable resignation combined with fragile, desperate determination to survive to drinking age that the rest of us did in band practice and cross-country training at the ungodly heat and humidity. It was a cruel yet valuable lesson; even stars had to deal with authority figures who had no souls and made you do your thing even if you kinda wanted to die. Sometimes, the fuckers chucked you under the chin, too.

Coaches and film directors have a lot in common. Who knew?

This is how I explain I really need more Cobb fic and my God, fandom, where is it?
So normally I wouldn't do a separate post about an earlier post, but my earlier post about FA and the entire Pepsi grant is updated due to more information on what exactly they applied for and its parameters.

Here (and on LJ), just scroll to the bottom. I--weirdly, this makes it even worse since they managed to snatch infamy and doucheness from the jaws of "Oh, so you're applying for an art grant and have a plan to use this money for educational and enrichment? Interesting. Still not sure you should do it, but it has nothing to do with starving children in Africa as a red herring of herringness."

I'm closing comments on this entry to consolidate comments if anyone wants to comment. I mean, it's one thing to have a misunderstanding by accident, but holy shit, it's like the goal was to cause an explosion.

[note: assuming that they do not have a post anywhere with actual details other than the first one that was--I have no words. I will really happily joyfully take correction if somewhere they actually stated what category they were applying for and a detailed explanatoin of their goals other than new servers.]
UPDATE: Please read at the end; it doesn't excuse FA's behavior, but at least it's a legit reason for why this grant was applied for. I think.

So I was promised that if I totally went crazy post-anesthesia and posted like, IDK, mass defriends and pointless rage to my flist, everyone would blame the anesthesia. For the record, I totally controlled my own evil twin, so I see no reason why I can't say, hey, my post-anesthesia breakdown exception will be used today.

Unfunny Business: FictionAlley and the Pepsi Refresh Challenge, which short version, Pepsi has a list of grants for people to submit project ideas to that will make a difference. Submissions can come form people, businesses, and non-profits, and you submit and people vote for which project by clicking.

Fail Fandonanon: Harry Potter Pepsi Refresh (I understand if you are against anon comms and feel uncomfortable clicking, but there are some interesting comments here. They were also the first place I read this, after Madelyn emailed me.)

Right, got all that out. Now.

I'm against this pretty much entirely because in general, I think fandom's own community resources should be very thoroughly checked first before going outside of it. I also think that is why OTW exists. This grant feels, to me, like the kind of thing for those without community resources to make their particular positive impact thing happen. And I don't buy FA's reasons for doing this entirely because I'd like to know what the education thing means.

But I'm not exactly enjoying the deep and meaningful connection with a lot of people's reactions to FA doing this which seems to be carrying the rhetoric to the point of if FA gets this, somewhere a baby will die and the blood spilled in the name of Dick Cheney to give him eternal youth or something. Apparently just doing it at all kills puppies. I'm being kind of hyperbolic, you say? About on the level of current comments.

Yes, it's stupid and self-absorbed of FA; but not any more stupid and self-absorbed than "Create a killer whale sighting network" because come on, who thinks killer whales are more important than starving kids? Really self-absorbed people, obviously. Who thinks dog parks are more important than starving kids? People who hate kids, this is totally math. Or build a low cost fitness center for the Nadonia Hills Community. Or knitting hats for cancer victims? Or...wait.

[note: I approve of knitting hats for cancer victims.]

I can't even get where the extremity of the rhetoric is coming from at this point; FA is not actually taking the bread directly from a child's mouth and beating them with it. I expect people outside of fandom to 'hurp, durp, pedophiles want money for their pornsite', but come the fuck on. Porn is less important than starving kids. Everything is less important than starving kids. A lot of the proposals I read on that site were not morally or ethically superior to funding a server for a large fanfiction archive and its attached messageboards; very few of those proposals were equal to starving kids. By that I mean those proposals also sucked and were stupid, not appropriate, narcissistic, or aligned with philosophical goals that made me nervous about what exactly they'd be 'educating' people with, and I'll be honest, a couple made me hope for the shark viewing thing to win, because no. That doesn't justify FA applying along with Create a model train layout for residents in the Cross Keys Village (for the record? I like this one). And some were just unrealistic proposals that just didn't seem to have a plan so much as an ideal.

So saying FA was pretty ick to do this, especially when community support is out there? Fine. Saying there are more worthy causes? Wonderful. I don't think it's appropriate in the context of the Pepsi Challenge. Acting like it's a huge crime against humanity for them to try and do it is an inappropriately unproportional reaction.

Okay, level with me. Is it the porn aspect or the fanfiction/loser/geek aspect that's setting off some kind of shame-o-meter that's making this into a war crime? Yes, our reputation IRL is pedophilic straight white middle class housewives who are single and fat and disabled with three kids and haven't gotten laid ever, I get that. HP doing this is like icing. I get slashers are going through a period of self-reflection where we feel we have to either justify our porn for the good of society or constantly belittle ourselves as writers by saying that it's all we do and we are and it's worthless, without merit to ourselves or society. You know, like everything women do.

[I'll come back to this one day when I'm feeling masochistic enough to sit down and tell people why I think their hobby is wonderful and what I think it does for society and in the world, but to me the most important aspect is what it does for a person but that is not today.]

We're calling everything we write 'porn'.

Being ashamed of yourself is one thing; feeling ashamed your hobby is 'writing porn' if that is in fact all you think you amount to when you indulge your creativity, fine, I'd love to open a dialogue about that and get to the bottom of it because I don't agree and I think we've moved beyond being ironic when we say it straight into possibly internalizing it. Shaming other people is something else entirely.

FA doing this sucks because in the parameters of this challenge, and considering the potential for the fandom community to handle this, they shouldn't have submitted. It wasn't appropriate for what specifically they do. Fanfiction isn't the source of shame. Writing fanfiction is not shameful. Being a fanfiction archive isn't shameful. And neither is watching whales. Or trains. Or a lot of those proposals. They don't belong in this challenge.

[..though I'm going to add, again, agreeing FA shouldn't have applied, I'm not in love with Pepsi's parameters. I mean, the starving kids are competing against the cystic fibrosis kids against the autism kids against the no kill shelter. Solomon did not have to deal with this kind of choice.]

CLARIFICATION: I somehow missed this completely, a member of sf_d mentioned it and I went to look and lo, I read right over it.

Pepsi Refresh: How It Works, please scroll down to the bottom. There are six grant categories: Health, Arts and Culture, Food and Shelter, The Planet, Neighborhoods, and Education.

FA applied under Arts and Culture, with entries listed here. (Can I get verification for this? Or did they apply under Education?)

Here is a list of grant recipients and their successful ideas.

Having said this, I still don't agree FA should have applied, because again, their primary reason was server maintenance and without a clear plan of community based enrichment or education. However, by applying, they are not competing with starving children, building shelters, or researching disease; they are competing with high school band uniforms, earplugs, restoring theatres, building community gardens, musical education, and art projects (many if not most of which are targeted for the underserved, youth groups, minorities, the disabled and elderly, etc).

Note to FA: what the fuck were you doing with that starving African children snipe that set this off? Would it have killed you in some way in your original entry to say what category you were applying in and a breakdown of what exactly you plan to do with the money with clearly delineated goals? I mean, I have read around and I don't see anywhere this was spelled out clearly and concisely with an explanation of why you were going this direction other than the server thing.

I'll be honest--the starving children comparison people are doing right now pisses me off, but that bit you pretty much used like raw meat for baiting purposes and surprise, surprise, without you clarifying what you were doing, people ran with it. It's a blatant mischaracterization of what you were trying to accomplish and it's not like anything related to fanfiction and fandom isn't immediately under suspicion.

Whatever. I don't know if I'm more pissed at the 'hurp, gurp, all fanfiction is porn and worthless' being trotted out by people in the community or the fact that they were basically given a script to do it with.

(If I'm wrong and they did an actual complete breakdown or explantion somewhere before this exploded, link me? I cant' find anything but the original post about it.)

Clarification Mark 2

Going through the winners, each category has it's own winner each month at each monetary level. The categories do not compete against each other for funding. Verified with sorting by Amount: 25,000, All Categories, and September. Each category is a different color. So no, there is no direct competition with starvation, disease, or other serious social problems.

...I cannot believe FA didn't explain this themselves.

[Again, if I'm reading this wrong, and God knows I could be, please correct me and thank you.]
Correction: [personal profile] rydra_wong double checked me in comments and verified that there are months a category did not get a grant in a particular grant level, so it's--God, I hope I read this correctly this time--top ten ideas in all categories separated by grant amount? Except for the 250K level, which is only two per month.

And apart from that, I'm kinda pissy at Pepsi again because the separation by category would have made sense and been less starvation or famine, which is more important to you thing.
Bash scripting is evil and I will get this to loop and add html markup for each file in my directory for a linkable and accessible index page if I have to kill linux to do it.

Right, getting that out of the way.

Yesterday I had a fun ride with a guy who owns his own cab service and we spent most of the ride talking about computers, since he was one of Michael Dell's first fifty employees back in the day they bought chassis from IBM and it was weird. I had my laptop and was trying to connect to my server to do a quick update using my phone and we talked about pretty much everything.

He was also kind enough to wait until near the end of the ride to point out how rare it is for women to be interested in computers and offered to introduce me to one of the Dell engineers and how did I learn so much about them anyway? And why?

Things you cannot explain easily, because there's no context:

"Well, I started writing fanfic and the Trekiverse archive hadn't been updated in like, years and was still hand coded (not that I knew what coding was) and so I had to get a page from geocities or all my fic would be in fifty pieces spread over PTF and ASC and ASCEML and everyone else had a webpage so I went to geocities and hated the templates even though I used it and while coding in In the Space of Seven Days Part IV broke formatting and was huge and weird and I couldn't figure out why so I kept staring at it until I figured out what all those little symbols meant. Then I learned to use them.

"Diebin in X-Men offered me non-commercial space on her domain, but it used this thing called ftp? And when I logged in there were like, ten million folders and I couldn't get anywhere and I kept losing things and getting disconnected. So I kept staring at it until I figured out what FTP did, what those folders did, why it was structured like that, and what it all meant. Then I and a friend bought a domain together.

"So this fic archive hadn't been updated in six months and I asked to have it. And it used this thing called css? And wtf was that about? So....

"So Livejournal paid accounts had customized CSS and [ profile] isilya did my main page but I wanted my flist page to match....

"Because I didn't know it and I wanted to. Because I get bored easily and I need distraction constantly. Because I want to generate my own indexes, rip my own DVDS, repair my own tech, enjoy the journey of creation as much as I enjoy the results of it. Because everyone says linux is ridiculously complex for the non-professsional and command line is too hard. Because the guy I used to think was the smartest guy in the world and knew everything there was to know about hardware and programming always laughed at my questions and it's been thirteen years and fuck that shit, I can breakdown and rebuild your system with a blindfold and without a manual.

"Because two of the women I most admire are both in fandom and run the two largest women-controlled open source projects in the world.

"Because when I was twenty-three years old, I bought an HP that broke and they sent it back to me working and not fixed and then my boyfriend took it and it stopped working altogether and I decided my hardware would never be touched by anyone but me. When I was twenty-four years old, I bought my first Dell and did a full breakdown by hand without visual reference because I didn't have my handbook and back then I couldn't find it online, so I had to figure out how to make it work again by memory. When I was twenty-seven, I bought my second Dell and when I was twenty-nine, I broke it down and rebuilt it into a new chassis with a new hard drive and new board. When I was thirty, I broke down my first laptop and I upgraded it myself.

"Because three months ago, I sat down with a pile of parts and started building a customized physical interface between IDE and SATA because slimline DVD players are evil and chained up three types before I realized even sheer will couldn't fit all that into my laptop. Also, I'm pretty sure it would have started on fire. Which isn't actually a negative, come to think.

"Because I want a touchscreen on my mini and I will figure out how to solder without damaging the board if it kills me.

"Because two months ago, I decided I wanted to build my own server, and I spent weeks reading everything there was on sockets and processor compatibility and chassis construction and power sources and fans.

"Because a month ago, I went to Frys and chose all my own parts and sat in the living room and assembled them all into something that works. I cannot even begin to explain the moment I flipped it on and the lights came on, the motherboard diagnostics ran, and I was still bleeding from chassis cuts and a broken fingernail but I didn't cry but it was a very close thing, because this was all mine, every component I assembled and tested and worried about and put together to create something new. I had to reinstall Ubuntu Server four times before I got it right, but I finally got it right.

"Because [profile] jarlsberg71 sold me a RAID array enclosure and card and said he didn't think I'd have any problem handling it. Because he and [personal profile] dreamatdrew don't mind when my knowledge gaps seem ridiculously elementary because no one would ever explain it to me and I learn by doing.

"Because I get no one is nearly as weird as I am about the joy of building stuff, but no one should ever be afraid to do their own repairs and build their own systems if they want to, and I thought maybe if I wrote up what I did, it might make them want to try, too.

"Because you'd be amazed how many women in fandom write their own programs, learn entire new programming languages, install and configure software better than any professional, and jury-rig their own systems as a matter of course. Because there wasn't anyone for us to ask, and no one to do it for us, so when we wanted an archiving program, a domain, a server, a place of our own for our fic, for our vids, for our meta, for our academic and professional work, we had to learn to do it ourselves."

This is what I said:

"You know, around."

Just in case I forgot to say this, thank you, fandom. I have no idea what I would have done for hobbies without you.
Dear Fandom,

Okay, granted, xkcd started it, but still. Is the Banach-Tarski Paradox supposed to tap dance on the conservation of matter or am I missing a key point that make this make sense? I mean, fuck Euclidean geometry, I was always terrible at geometry, but this is screwing with how I internalize the universe so stop that shit, mmmkay?

God, this is like when they de-planeted Pluto.

Axiom of Choice is almost like, understandable in comparison.

Note: Admittedly, my reaction to Banach-Tarski and Axiom of Choice may be based on the entire sock construction, being that there's an assumption that socks are paired for choice when experience states the dryer inevitably eats one of every pair. Wait, is the dryer exercising Axiom of Choice in choosing one sock from the pair (bin) with no rule on how to pick and let's face it, sock-eating dryers are in fact infinite? If bin is a pair, socks are--objects? And Axion of Choice is what happens when there's no built-in selection mechanism? Ergo, my dryer performs higher mathematics in set theory every day.

I have no idea what it means that I'm relating my issues with laundry to mathematical theory. I'm honestly not entirely sure what I just wrote. But I am wondering if this can be used to find missing socks. And are they all white socks?

SGA totally destroys people's ability to nod blindly and not google this shit.

--Seperis, with a headache

Context at fandom_wank.

ETA: Melannen uses food coloring to visualize the paradox. I like the part about upper limit sizes. I still have a headache.
Saturday, October 2nd, 2010 11:32 pm

my glee is special

Had dinner with acafen in the wilds of Austin. Had a lot of fun. And margaritas! And vids!

Reminder to those who are still awake--AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE (er, any of you, actually)--email me and I'll send you the username and password for my stora for the things.

I feel weirdly fannishly revived, like after VVC, but in a shorter period of time. I need a fangirl battalion in Austin. I'd settle for a brigade. Or even a company, really.
So weirdly enough, I've still never been to a Star Trek convention (or to LA, airports totally do not count), but that apparently will change.

KiScon 2011 has been announced by [ profile] awarrington and [ profile] rhaegal. I'm going to cut and paste their announcement from the Kirk/Spock Community and the KiScon Community directly.

KiScon 2011: Boldly Going Where No K/S Con Has Gone Before!

We are thrilled to announce that membership is open for KiScon 2011. On June 24-26 2011, we're taking you to the Kyoto Grand Hotel in Los Angeles to celebrate 45 years of the epic romance between Kirk and Spock, the pairing that invented slash fandom and remains the most enduring!

Over the years, fanfiction has taken Kirk and Spock through the Mirror Universe, Alternate Universes, and now we have the Reboot Universe. In 2011, we mark their 45th anniversary with a celebration of K/S in all its incarnations.

For KiScon 2011, we head to the heart of downtown Los Angeles, to spend a fun-packed weekend rediscovering the excitement and the passion that drew us all to this pairing, in the company of other fans.

We're proud to announce we will be joined by our two fabulous Guests of Honor Kathleen Resch and Seperis.

Membership costs only $99 until May 1st 2011, rising to $119 after that date, and includes all three days of programming (panels, vids, presentations and games) and the Babel Banquet on Saturday evening where costumes are encouraged! Space is limited, so join now to avoid disappointment.

Hotel rooms are available at a discounted rate of only $109 per room per night (exc. tax) for up to two sharing - so bring a friend! This rate is also available three days either side of the convention, so that you can add a vacation to your visit. Further information about the hotel, including online booking, is available on our website.

If you have any questions or suggestions, please drop us a line here on LiveJournal, or at: info [at] kiscon [dot] org. We can't wait to see you in LA next summer!

KiScon 2011 co-chairs
Amanda Warrington and Rhaegal
[ profile] awarrington & [ profile] rhaegal

KiScon 2011 Website

For the record, I was genuinely shocked to be asked by the concomm to come to this, and I think I irritated the hell out of [ profile] awarrington with emails asking if she'd like, asked the wrong person. To be fair, I was sleep-deprived from going from the beach to [personal profile] svmadelyn's to VVC and also by Saturday I was not entirely sober, but she forgave me. And considering who Kathleen Resch is--seriously, go look at her bio and boggle at those credentials for a minute--beyond words humbled, but also hugely honored. Trek wasn't just my first fandom in fanfiction and fannishness--it's been a part of my life practically since birth, through TOS and TNG and Voyager, every Star Trek movie ever made, and a ridiculous number of Trek novels I still have, moldering on my bookshelf, even the really, really bad ones. And the really, really interesting ones that were published before Star Trek got all standardized (yes, the one with Kirk, Spock, and the Free Agent Mary Sue actually a threesome this was published really oh my God yes; also the one with the Kirk clone married off to The Romulan Commander after being cloned because this guy wanted him so much, God I love Trek).


You should come! It will be fun! Not that this should be a motivator or anything, but I'll have to do like, some panels and I have no idea what to do so I will totes take suggestions? Okay, sure, that's more for me than anyone else, but I'll totally credit whoever comes up with one. My ideas are all like "How about a panel on squeeing over Spock?" which isn't really a panel, I don't think. Though honestly, wouldn't that be fun. Also, [personal profile] svmadelyn promised--promised--to come so you know what happens on Sunday night, just in a new location. Admittedly, it will be weird without a mezzanine.

Star Trek! TOS and Reboot! Kirk/Spock! Fangirls! All of my favorite things!
Okay, I give up. Sherlock recs? Please? With sugar on top? I feel like a goddamn junkie and left to my own devices, I'll hit the kink meme first and that can't end well. I mean, literally--there might be crying.

Pleeeasseeee? I need this. I've been editing and beta'ing AIRPS fic all day.
Friday, September 3rd, 2010 11:24 pm


Having seen Sherlock episode three, one thing.

this isn't even a spoiler, really )
Holy shit, Sherlock does look like Merlin.

This is so creepy. Why am I watching this show? Yes, yes, I gave in to fannish pressure, dammit.

ETA: He smiles like he knows exactly how I will die!

what the hell am i watching? spoilers? i think? )

final thoughts )

So that was amazing. How many eps have there been?
I'm not sure it's unsettling enough to make a conscious choice to be self-aware about what stories in a kink meme I gravitate to.

However, in the interests of full disclosure, here are the things that I really wish I liked:

1.) Slave AUs - okay, I can't even explain this one, but a lot of it has to do with my embarrassment squick that is hit by them too often. They borderline me, because I like D/s, and I've even liked it at the slave level D/s, but the consent is what makes it work for me because hey, it's fairly hot for someone to desperately beg someone else to put them in a collar and tie them to a tree (substitute your choice here, it's one in the morning and I just came off three hours at the AI kink meme reading you have no idea what; I don't even know what I was reading). Consent is the panacea of the embarrassment squick. Mostly. I can still get hit by it, but then I just skim. It's weird. But I wish I liked them, because a.) there are a lot of them and b.) I'd like to actually write one. But seriously. I can squick myself in the embarrassment department, which isn't easy because it's like tickling yourself. It's a good sign when I cringe from myself I shouldn't be writing it.

I mean, I feel I should write it because it squicks me. Like, not to cure the squick but to examine it in a really meta-like, post-modern I-need-a-hobby-that-isn't-hyperexamining-the-source-and-my-reaction-to-it sort of way. Or just so I can blunt the edges of the squick and enjoy it, because seriously, this cuts off a lot of otherwise readable fic and it's depressing when I find myself in the kink-meme staring at 'necrophilia' going "yes, this squicks me so much I want to cry hysterically, but there's nothing else to read". No one should have a moment like that.

2.) I was less specific in my role choices. This is just--I get a preference and I'll break it once in a while, but me and [ profile] avilio_18 had a really sharply defined moment talking in email about what we considered in character and I realized, yeah. I'm like really really specific sometimes. This is not specific to what I write, weirdly enough; SGA I had Rodney topping three quarters of the time, but I preferred it the other way around while reading. No idea what that's about. But it is annoying because again, it cuts off like, a random percentage depending on fandom of stories I can't get into and see above. Not on.

3.) Mpreg - okay, this is tricky, because I have read and loved it, but for the life of me, even knowing this, my knee-jerk is AVOID AVOID FLASHING LIGHTS and yo, I beta'ed a freaking mpreg series that I spent quality time nagging the author about, and then once upon a time wrote it myself, but--there you go. I get people who don't understand the attraction of it because I get the same Flags of No, but then I read it and love it because it's awesome. And yet. I have to convince myself to do it every damn time.

I was thinking of making a list of my kinks that actually bother me or make me curious (in fandom; I don't feel particular shame for what I put in as keywords on because hello, someone wrote it, who am I not to appreciate their work? You rock, author of fic with keywords I will never admit to anyone, ever), but that ends up a sociopolitical statement that I cannot imagine I'd be interested in making. Sexuality and sexual desire for women is already politicized, evaluated, judged, and recontextualized in fandom, and I'm uncomfortable with my body pretty much always; I can't get away from that. I can, however, avoid adding a new and exciting layer of judging myself on top of the way I already do. I do not need to layer cake my judgment. Though I'd kill for a brownie right now.

I wonder what it's like to feel comfortable in your skin and with yourself. I mean, I get that the human condition apparently requires we never have a moment's peace, but you'd think the human condition would have a failsafe to shut that shit down once in a while so we wouldn't end up circling ourselves madly chasing a non-existent tail for enlightenment or at least something close to comfort. I'm asking for like, once a week, one hour. Or so.

Yes, it's almost two and this is what passes for deep thoughts. I'm going to go look for porn now and hate insomnia like whoa.
Sgastoryfinder social experiment?

On one hand, who doesn't go to sgastoryfinders to read the hilarity of some of the requests? OTOH, astroturfing requests for lulz in a community based on good-faith requests feels weird somehow. I kind of thought the funny was in the sincerity of the search and the way people remember things, in almost random bits of plot or dialogue or scene and why some things that seem insignificant to the author or even other readers make such a lasting impression that they define how the story is remembered. It was funny to see your fic remembered as the one where John wore pink or Rodney got a hangnail after he ate a donut, but also fascinating that something so small could define it, and try to work out why and how. And in any case, it was kind of flattering that anyone remembered it well enough to look for it at all because they wanted to read it again. The results either way are the same, but I feel kind of weird for the people who searched for the fic and those who wrote the ones that were found and didn't know they weren't doing something nice for someone else, but participating in a joke on themselves.

OTOH, it's two days post-con and my sense of humor is on par with a slug in the sun and I seriously am scheduling myself like, a weekend with Comedy Central or something. My recent personal tragedy involved a broken nail and a search for a file that took on epic proportions ending in a bitter exchange when it was found Child had absconded with it for reasons I decided I just didn't want to know, but for the record, I'm getting uncomfortable with him having an empty aquarium that is slowly being filled with layers of sand and decorated with rocks in a way not unlike a place you plan to store, oh, some sort of lizard. And frankly, how a nail file fits into this is information I just do not think I am ready to know.

How is everyone else's week going?

ETA: *winces* Okay, made it to second page of comments and there are actually some people who were upset by this. I apologize if anything I wrote here made them feel more uncomfortable. I can see their point on feeling unhappy they thought they were doing something nice for someone else and find out now they were kind of a punchline instead.

ETA 2: Mea culpa. Objectivity does indeed fly out the window when it's a close friend and cowriter whose fic ends up being involved. Thank God for people bringing me sympathetic post-vacation slump Snickers.

I apologize for my initial response if it came off flippant, because--yeah, no, that's pretty shitty behavior. I don't really participate in fic searches in public all that often, but I'm pretty sure if I did, I'd like to know I was starring in metacomedic performance art for the amusement of someone and their friends.

ETA 3: [personal profile] ineptshieldmaid in comments states the post has been taken down. More in the comment.

ETA 4: Thanks to [personal profile] raine for linking me: here toft apologizes with a longer explanation of her motives.
Now that I am not exclusively locked in a panic cycle about surgery....

So I missed apparently a new discussion on ableism at VVC. I saw the original discussions about the wording of the original policy and the public apology immediately after and the start of revisions, but was there something specifically in the last couple of days that happened that is leading to more discussion after that? As I'll be really honest; I stopped reading my flist days ago when I realized that yeah, this entire surgery thing was becoming real.

Due to the fact I don't have disabilities that need accommodating--ADHD doesn't count, and the occasional outbreak of claustrophobia during occasional vid shows is thankfully rare and usually just requires walking it off outside--I'm just mostly engaged in reading catch-up to see what's happening.

On that note: *hugs* to [personal profile] amireal, [personal profile] milly, and [personal profile] fan_eunice. I'm not sure what else to say; I'm so sorry for what you are going through right now, and I wish I could do something to help. I'm online tonight. I'm pretty sure the joy of my textual presence is not what anyone sane would call consolation, but if you need to talk, or you know, rant! I am here for you.
From [personal profile] musesfool here, [ profile] kittystrife is wholesale reposting and taking credit for episode reviews, meta, and--in a weird turn of events--personal posts. I'm going to go on a limb and assume her loyal commenter is maybe like, not a person herself.

Also posted to Fandom Wank, so toddle there for more details. And boggling. Apparently she like, edited Aja's post for profanity before posting it? *frowns* The ways of the wild plagiarist are unknown to me.


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  • If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
    . -- Unknown, BTS List
  • That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying,
    We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
    Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
    -- pricklyelf on why Lex goes bad, LJ
  • Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me;
    I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
    -- Teague reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones", LJ
  • Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?

    Jenn: Because you are an addict.

    Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.

    Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.

    Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.

    Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
    -- hwmitzy and seperis, 12/24/2003, AIM
  • I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
    -- anonymous, 2/17/2004, AIM
  • In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
    -- silverkyst, 3/25/2004, AIM
  • Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing

    Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
    -- eleveninches and anonymous, 4/2/2004, LJ
  • silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.

    silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.

    silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.

    Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
    -- silverkyst and seperis, 1/25/2005, AIM
  • You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
    -- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years, 3/15/2005, LJ
  • Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
    -- Summerfling, on shower sex, 7/22/2005, LJ
  • It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
    -- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit, 2/7/2006, LJ
  • Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
    -- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny, 4/13/2006, LJ
  • Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
    -- deadlychameleon, on class, 9/1/2007, LJ
  • If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
    -- JRDSkinner, Twitter

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