I'm assuming, anyway. Please God. News this week did not get any better, so this is a weekend of sloth and reading and carefully faking a lack of worry, which isn't working as well as one might hope.

In less depressing news, for a random pick-me-up, [personal profile] lanning's Identical series is currently being read cover to--more covers. Because some days you really need to read something where the universe tries to play fair. Eleven stories, ~281,000 words, still in progress.
So I wanted some comfort fic and went to look up some old favorites. Most of these I've recced before.

Yet Another Snape Meets the Dursleys Story by rabbit and v-Jinx-v, Harry Potter, gen - totally gen h/c emotional porn. I love this story. This is one of my go-to comfort fics for the entire Snape Meets The Dursleys, Realizes How Much They Suck, Hates Them So Much, Is Generally Fucking Kick Ass and Super Competent While Dudley Turns Out to Eventually Be Awesome and Snape and Harry Bond So Much. It hits all my gen h/c kinks, with the Pathetic!Brave!Stoic!So!Goddamn!Gryffindor!Harry and Reluctantly!Admitting!Bias!Against!Harry!And!Uber!Competent!Snape and the sucky Dudsleys so very much told on child abuse and being shitty human beings and my personal favorite Personal!Growth!Dudley.

..wow, count those capital letters.

Nightblooming Heartsease by [livejournal.com profile] julad fic Transfigurations (Harry Potter, Harry/Draco) which is also a favorite fic but not a comfort fic. If you've read this, you may or may not get why I love this one when I really want to feel warm and fuzzy because yeah, I know how it ends, but ending was part of the journey and the entire thing is gorgeous. The author created the prequel whole as an exploration of the lives of Snape and Neville during war that occurred before the events of Transfigurations and took great pains to not only write fully-fleshed, three dimensional characters but a fully fleshed, uncertain, gorgeous three dimensional relationship that explained how being different people didn't necessarily mean there isn't common ground to be explored and cherished. It's wartime desperation and amazing domestic sweetness and two people who work together and learn together and then fall in love together. Warning: character death. But honest to God, that's part of what makes it comfort fic.

Goodnight Moon by yahtzee, Joan of Arcadia/The Day After Tomorrow crossover, gen - it's wistful and dreamy and sad in the very best, most uplifting, most human way possible. When this hit fandom, I think everyone recced it. And it was totally worth it.

An Affair to Remember by Tira Nog, SGA, AU, John/Rodney - yes, it's a SGA version of the movie. This is emotional porn for me. I only read it once a year now so as to keep that fresh reaction of just ridiculous amounts of tear-wiping and contented purring.

Fearless, Mindless Fancy by [personal profile] giddygeek, SGA, AU, John/Rodney - it's adorable and creepy and wonderful adn so much fun. John is a psychic! Rodney has a TV show about science and debunks this kind of thing! THEY THEN HUNT GHOSTS!

Benediction by [livejournal.com profile] thete1 - this was one of the earliest Smallville fics written and still among my absolute favorite for being gorgeous and sweet and everything Lex and Clark could have been.

Ice by [personal profile] merryish, Smallville, Clark/Lex - I love this story. There is a storm! And a barn! And Clark and Lex with no idea what the hell they're doing but going to try anyway. You know. To keep warm. Emotional intensity plus hotness can never go wrong. <--link corrected, thanks to [personal profile] merrily for the link

Omiai by Rose Emily, Smallville, AU, Clark/Lex - arranged marriage fic! Secretly falling in love! Angst! God, this one is every cliche I love done briliantly well. And long, long, long.

Primary by velvetglove, Smallville, Clark/Lex - a long, slow, deliciously building relationship after many years and much heartbreak and so wallowable.

Loves Me Not by [personal profile] astolat, SGA, John/Rondey - in which nothing in this not hilarious and sweet and funny and adorable and sure, Rodney loves chocolate, but kind of thinking that's not the only reason it goes this way.

If anyone wants to throw out their go-to-comfort fics? I would not like, be opposed or anything.
Okay, so of all the times to get curious about this, but I am, so there.

So I like stories that take narrative and structural risks--even when they fail, you can't help but admire the fact the author tried anyway, and I grade on a curve when the difficulty level is high, so I'm a lot more forgiving when I can see the author is trying something non-standard.

So, give me the stories you've read that were narratively/structurally/grammatically risky--unreliable narrators, time switches, unusual uses of pov and tense, experimental, whatever. It doesn't have to have succeeded perfectly, and it doesn't have to be the best thing ever, but it intrigued you to see what the author was trying to do and how it worked.

Posting a few--well, several--examples here of some of my favorites; I will be adding to this as I remember more, since from a glance at my rec list, there are several I need to re-read to remember what was unusual about them.

eighteen recs: star trek voyager, x-men movieverse, x-men, x-force, smallville, queer as folk, stargate: atlantis, dracula 1931, more )

recced by other people: dr. who )

Okay, so I got many more responses than expected, making a short link directory to recs by specific people and the fandoms represented. You all are kind of awesome. Below cut, reccer's name, link to the comment, and the fandoms represented for now. So far, I think I have new reading for like, a while off of these.

Links in Comments

[personal profile] alchemise, link, Supernatural

[livejournal.com profile] cofax7, link one and link two, Stargate: Atlantis, Supernatural, and Stargate: SG1

[personal profile] evildrem, link, Highlander

[personal profile] green_grrl, link, Due South

[profile] ineptshieldmaiden, link one and link two, Star Trek Reboot, Merlin, Tortall, Twelfth Night, Narnia, and The Handmaid's Tale

[livejournal.com profile] janedavitt, link, Stargate: SG1

[livejournal.com profile] perverse_idyll, link, Harry Potter and Stargate: Atlantis

[livejournal.com profile] queenklu, link, Due South

[personal profile] rydra_wong, link one and link two, Stargate: SG1 and Stargate: Atlantis

[livejournal.com profile] silviakundera, link, Popslash, Torchwood, Supernatural, Skins, Heroes, Harry Potter

[livejournal.com profile] soul_cake_duck, link, Generation Kill

[personal profile] telesilla, link, Stargate Atlantis

[livejournal.com profile] tricksterquinn, link, Torchwood and Dr. Who

[livejournal.com profile] trystings, link, Stargate: Atlantis

[livejournal.com profile] unovis_lj, link, Highlander

[livejournal.com profile] wild_force71, link, Stargate: Atlantis

ETA: Yes, I still want recs. There are a million fandoms! We need more experimentation in fanfic. Encouraging this is a good thing. Will add them to this entry as time permits. Updated to all current comments with [livejournal.com profile] templemaker on LJ and [personal profile] rydra_wong on DW.

Quick thanks to [livejournal.com profile] templemaker for a current link to [livejournal.com profile] mintwitch's Word of the Day.

And of course, to everyone who dropped by to add a rec or five, because seriously, this? Is awesome.
Randomly, because I'm having trouble sleeping:

So I was chatting with the awesome that is [livejournal.com profile] girlnamedpixley and was thinking of fics that are the equivalent of hydrogen-bomb-grade chocolate--everything in the universe can go wrong and this fic makes it right. Except it's totes not a fic, it's a series. SO I gave her this one and tried to get a blood oath that she'd read it.

Identical Series by [personal profile] lanning, Smallville, Clark/Lex, plus everyone.

It's currently eleven stories, with the eleventh in progress, over 240K total wordcount so far, and without caveat, the most ambitious, epic, romantic, action-adventurey set of short stories, novellas, and novels I have ever read. It defines great OCs, complicated and fascinating plots, a massive host of characters both canon and not, a strong use of an ensemble cast, and takes the potential of first and second season Smallville and runs with it.

It's a story about kind of everything, and basically, if you never read or watched Smallville, you're fine, trust me when I say, Lanning will make it redundant to know it, but this is what you need going in.

Once upon a time, two boys met on a riverbank and changed each others' lives.

That's how it started. Lanning will take it from there.

I totally own I rec like I'm having a religious experience, but I've always found God in reading, so this is not exactly a surprise. I love this fic for every reason I love fanfic and every reason I love profic; it's rich and sweeping and beautiful and epic, about family and faith and love and sacrifices made for those things that are worth the price paid for them, about stumbling hard and falling down and still getting back up--because someone is there to help you get up. It's beautiful and breaks my heart and is my happy ending, always. And it's still in progress.

Each part is complete in itself, and if you've never read Smallville in your life, this one is the one you should break that habit for.
Pocket Full Of by [livejournal.com profile] winterlive, Smallville.

10 tiny fics that together pack a hell of a punch; past, present, and future woven together. Dark chocolate, seventy percent, with that bitter edge that even sugar can't blunt.
Look! Not something Fanlore related!


Stocks and Bonds of Holy Matrimony by [livejournal.com profile] justabi, SV, Clark/Lex.

Every time I read it, it sends me into a giggling fit like you would not believe.
"Clark, is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"Good morning?"

"Not quite what I'm looking for."

"I'm an alien? You hit me with your car? Am I getting warmer?"

"Stop making jokes. My phone has been ringing off the hook all morning. There is a picture of you and me on the front page of the Daily Planet."

"That's great, Lex. I didn't think the benefit would be front page news, but that's wonderful."

"The story is not about the benefit last night."

"What do you mean?"

"Since when have we been lovers eagerly awaiting the chance to legally wed in the state of Kansas?"

I just--it's so them. So. Very. Them.

Form, Not Meaning by [livejournal.com profile] out_there, Prison Break, Michael/Alex.

The guh is eternal on this one. To put this in context, everything I know about Prison Break I learned from a.) [livejournal.com profile] svmadelyn b.) Like a Stone, [livejournal.com profile] sdwolfpup's vid (God the guh. The guh is legion. The guh owns me. Oh my God the wall touching) and c.) fannish osmosis. And I love this fic. It doesn't hurt that I know what they look like and Michael is hot like whoa and Alex is deeply, deeply scary. Well, they both are scary.

That was good for me. *sighs happily*
This is fairly random, but I sent two of these off to someone today who was watching SV and then re-read, because I like being creeped the hell out. Then I thought, I should list all the ones that still scare me.

Three types, choose your poison.

self-gutting, an introduction )

when you like it to take longer )

because Clark/Lex aren't the only ones who marinate in darkness and despair )

And that was a trip down memory lane. I'm going to go cry now for a bit.
For the nostalgists among us. I just like to re-read stories from early in the fandom every so often (read, obsessively).

Reckoning and Courier by [livejournal.com profile] latxcvi. Of everything written post-Exodus season two, this is one of my absolute forever-favorites, just for the sheer *intensity* of Lex. And Lex's exquisitely appropriate revenge. If you haven't read, go *now*. I am so not kidding.

Breathing Amber by [livejournal.com profile] harriet_spy. Lana, past, present, and future. It's freakishly chilling, in that way that makes Lana make *sense*. Written during the first season, but trust me, just as utterly true now as it was then. Futurefic.

Many Waters by [livejournal.com profile] liviapenn. Post-Heat coda. Lex and that damned wedding dress. Just breaks my heart. Every. Time.

Red Is a Primary Color by [livejournal.com profile] ingrid_m. Pete fic is as rare as a unicorn, but on the other hand, most of it is extraordinarily good. Futurefic, presidency of Lex. There are a lot of things I love about this story--it's a discernibly different Pete, but exactly the same, too. He's VP of the United States, he's achieved everything he ever wanted, and for some reason, it never occurred to him there'd be a price to it. It's--*amazing*. Haunting. Really *damn* good.

And for the Lexana among us--oh please, like that isn't our big guilty pleasure, furtively reading it when our AIM friends aren't looking and--oh, wait. That's just me.

Crisis series by Christie. It's one of the first I read, way back in season one. Futurefic. Interestingly, it works even now, though this Lex is not quite as broken. I love the Lana here--this Lana on the show I would have loved. This Lana I would have *shipped* with Lex. It's wonderfully written and vivid and is pretty much the reason I could never quite ship Lex/Chloe as my het of choice. Because this? Is just too good.

Mmm. Pretty. It makes me happy. Though not significantly cooler, sadly.
Sunday, May 1st, 2005 01:18 am

oh svmadelyn

How do I love her? Let me count the ways.

1.) She writes pretty things.
2.) She writes happy things.
3.) She writes things that make me laugh *so much* and it's a tango and Batman and Clark and Lois and Lana and everything in the world is so so so much better for that little moment in time.

Storytime With Bruce Wayne

And all I had to do is beg. A lot.

Post-Somewhere snippet of doom, Bruce Wayne makes a visit to the White House. Strawberries, stories, and hilarity ensue. It's so good I giggled myself into tears. It so happens like this. Especially the tango.

Read! Read now! It will make you happy! Really!
Mmm. Adjective Clexness. Lex exercises his vocabulary.

Untitled by [livejournal.com profile] comicbkromance -- so pretty.

Lex lies in bed and tries to think of every word he knows for "beautiful."

Off the top of his head, he can think of roughly one hundred and fifty, in eight languages (if you weren’t counting Latin, and he wasn’t)—Chinese, Russian, French, Japanese, Italian, German, Spanish, and Arabic. Clark stretches in his sleep, the sheets rucking around his hips, and he makes a breathy, contented sound.

Lex wishes he knew Ancient Sumerian. Mandarin. A couple of African dialects.

Mmmm. *Pretty*. And see! Excuse to use my cookies icon!
Rec from [livejournal.com profile] emrinalexander and [livejournal.com profile] suzvoy

Beginnings by Elandria Lore.

Really, really lovely Smalvlille past and future. I want to see what else she can do.

*hugs the clever ladies with the recs*
Yes, you need to read this.

The Clarwiches snippet. Hee. It's funniness. And hypothetical four penises.
[livejournal.com profile] dolimir_k rocks.

A Mad Season. Why the hell didn't I read this before? Possibly the fact that the *concept* of Shattered and Asylum freaked the heck out of me and still bothers me in a variety of ways. But the story? Lovely. Thick and rich with plot like a stew, with delicious, meaty characterizations to sink your teeth into. All around marvelous.

I'm unhappy. Even being aware this is not something I have control over, and that it *will* end, that it's all in my head, that it's just something I deal with when necessary, and that I have a lot of wonderful things going on, it still is making everything seem long and tiresome and--pointless. Frankly, the fact that I turn twenty-nine this week isn't helping. So. Along with the marvelous [livejournal.com profile] dolimir_k, recs that will be added to my rec page the next time I update. All Smallville, het, slash, and gen, dragged out of my LJ history today when I went through and started organizing and adding to my memories. Almost all are from earlier entries over the past two years, especially early 2003. For more recs, I added to the fiction recs folder in memories, but most of those are season one-ish and I've blathered about before.

So. More authors that make Smallville marvelous. This is the other reason I love Smallville so much, in answer to the question I was asked. I have the privilege of reading these people. I thought maybe this could be considered group feedback of a kind, considering how little I seem to do now, and make other people happy.

smallville recs, legion )
Oh *man*.

Clark finds deep meaning in the movie, The Legend. I mean, really deep meaning.

The Stuff of Legend.

Favorite. Fic. Lines. Ever.

Cradled in Clark’s arms, Lex experienced a hideous flash-forward moment in which he envisioned his commitment ceremony with Clark: Clark whirling him onto the dance floor, the two of them twirling around and around in tuxedos to the strains of “Is Your Love Strong Enough.” Clark dipped him on a power chord.

Come *on*. You so do want to read this. Like, right now. One beverage warning, as I tragically lost my hot chocolate to it.

*still laughing*
Tuesday, November 30th, 2004 11:34 pm

and more recs

Before I continue this like, almost week long song and dance of these authors--come *on*. I *love* long stories. I *wallow* in long stories. I adore AUs. So. Mmm. Yes.

Four more, varying lengths, most long. And I mean *long*.

Keep Your Head Down by Kat Reitz and Tzigane

Clark College fic. Cute. Very, very cute. I have the same problem with the pacing, but I do like this interesting--concept--way much. A really good story.

Land of the Blind by Kat Reitz and Tzigane

Fucked up. And in a positive, good, cheering way of extreme wrongness. And I say with all my heart, I felt good about it. I mean, dirty. But good.

Family Portrait by Kat Reitz and Tzigane

Big AU, Lex as a semi-Kent. It works. Really well. It's long. Ten hour read, I think, but I didn't time myself either. But my legs did go numb and I dind't sleep at all Sunday night--ask anyone who saw me at work on Monday.

Nonstop to Nowhere by Kat Reitz and Tzigane

Big AU, Clark as a Luthor. The brother thing just never stops being hot, does it? No. Lionel's an ass. I'm particularly full of joy for the entire AU of what happened at the school. Cause there is too much pink in the world.

The same basic critics applies to all--it drags sometimes for me in some of the sections. But Lex's inner voice is hysterical. Hell, *Lex* is great, period, and so is Clark. Very *very* well drawn relationship, good solid stories, a hell of a lot of fun to read, as I have yet to close the SSA's search page because I keep thinking if I hit refresh enough, I'll get another story from them. Cause I am *that* enchanted.

And for something different.

Comme si de rien n'était by Jane St. Clair, ST:TNG/VOY

Picard/Paris slash. It's--really. Well. *Good*. And considering I can't think of Picard as a sexual creature at *all*--leave me alone on this one--wow. The hot. And the manipulative. And I love Tom Paris more than many kinds of chocolate. Not more than *all* kinds, but more than many. So you know. It's dirty desk sex.


In other news, Supervisor called us in to tell us that she *knows* she's been hard on us, and it's only going to get much, much worse, as The People Upstairs in HHSC are very disappointed in our performance. Because nothing stirs the troops like the faint hope of--no, wait, there was *nothing* in that meeting about hope. It was more a "maybe everyone should just quit, becuaes trust me, you can't *hope* to do all this that we'll be giving you to do."

Right. That was where I heard the word *hope*.

I am this close to not giving a damn. My zen place is coffee. And jeans. And possibly, Christmas, where I will decorate and completely lose myself in the season. All one day fo it, since we only get *one day off* for the entire season. Through New Year's. That's *it*.

Coffee. My zen place is *coffee* and Family Portrait.
Sunday, November 28th, 2004 08:03 pm


Two this time.

Roughfucked by London, QaF. This link goes to part i, but it's complete now. *happy* *very, very happy*

Pyrrhic by Kat Reitz and Tzigane - Mostly AU post-Shattered and Asylum, more or less. Warn for incest. Also, really really really good and very long. I didn't have nearly as many issues with teh pacing in this one, and it's a solidly satisfying story. And God, I love how they write Clark. I want to *keep* him and not, you know, kill him in his sleep. And Lex. Ah. *sighs*

If you haven't read it, you need to, and if you have, read it again. I'm kind of blissed out on the endorphins of happy here.

It's been a *damn* good weekend, including the fic happiness.

You should read this.

Put You Half To Sleep by [livejournal.com profile] callmesandy, Smallville/Roswell.

She said: Sean/Lex. Awwwwwww, the only entry on this list that could not in any way be described as a hit, especially since the only people who loved the story beta'ed the story. But it's a best of to me. It's quiet and bleak and still vaguely sort of hopeful.

I whore for bleak futures, you know. Roll *right* over. I also whore for Lex, but that's kind of a given. It's not the future that's become so sad, but the person that chose to live it. My Roswell is years old and only a season and random eps, but this resonated with me. Plus, you know. Roswell/Smallville. Does any crossover in history, besides, say, X-Files, make so damned much sense?

You should really read it. And you could leave her feedback here, too. It's beautiful.

Because it just amuses me a lot

I was thinking, and perhaps murmuring in a slighly tipsy haze, how much I'd like Clark/Max.

I mean, I really would. In a very weird way, because visualizing a first time with the two of them would be an exercise in a comedy of epic proportions for observers. I mean, they both have that dark, brooding, mysterious, cute, vaguely depressed, very hot thing going on, and that fetish for bland brunettes is there (though I *liked* Liz, so there). And they both--I mean, imagine the negotiations required just for a kiss. I mean, they aren't the type to just jump the other. Oh no. There would be strange, surreal, not entirely clear conversation beforehand while they blushed enough to set things on fire.

I mean, apart from Clark's heat vision.

It would happen over a game of parcheesi. Slowly. Very freaking slowly.

I amuse myself in a variety of freakish ways.

I think these are the only Roswell fics I ever read, come to think, at Disquieting Muses. Maria/Michael. I think [livejournal.com profile] jengrrrl sent me to the messageboard she was posting at for them. Well, her and Elizabeth at Ficorama, but really, who doesn't read Elizabeth? *happy sigh*

Visitors is still my favorite.

I need to do some re-reading.
No spoilers.


Just. Wow. And wow.
Yeah. *Pretty*.

Of Epistles and Ephiphanies by [livejournal.com profile] nifra_idril *Happy place*. Lex emails, Clark sulks and ponders, and everything is sweet.

For an added bonus, say the title three times fast. No, seriously. It's *funny*.
There's just something about me the last week that says, "this will go wrong."

No, really. I mean, not all the time. It's all in sneaky, undercover ways, so people look at me like I'm crazy when I say that yes, I'm apparently coming into a curse that was cast at my birth by some very pissed off godparent, because it's just--bizarre.

Okay, maybe not entirely *wrong*. But witness this little bit of conversation.

It's jeans-shopping. This is the lowest maintenance piece of clothing in my life, other than my three-to-a-pack white t-shirt thing that really, *comfy*, Hanes, best friend for life. Seriously. I know my inseam, I generally know my waist, and it's all math--pick up teh jeans, look at the size, walk out.

But no. Being a girl and being tall sucks if you want jeans that fit. For years I gravitated toward men's jeans, 29 waist, 34 or 36 leg. Easy stuff. Could do it in my sleep.

Then I went shopping with Nezsa. And decided, since the last pair of jeans I bought were for women and, miracle of miracles, fit, I would check out what the girls were wearing in jeans this year.

Pair 1: Levi, Boot cut low-riders

Me: I like-=-

Nezsa: No.

Me: But--

Nezsa: Your thighs look weird. Take them off.

Me: ...my thighs are weird?

Nezsa: In those jeans? Yes. Take. Them. Off.

This continued through low riders set 2, vintage, 3, and these stretchy ones that scared me but I thought looked good, but my Weird Thighs, because honestly, I *need* more body issues, and thighs so far had escaped my attention, were just fighting this tooth and nail.

Now that I think about it, my thighs do seem weird. I also have disportionately long legs. Yes, seriously, this is what i need to obsess about. Argh.

So she ran through everything that looked denim. Now, surprisingly, finding an inseam that kicks over 34 is not as easy as you might think. And sometimes, just plain impossible. My sixth pair--I'm not joking, I tried on six pairs of jeans for her, and I don't try on clothes if I can help it--she agreed with and was kind enough to let me buy them.

So I thought, okay, that wasn't so bad. So now I had Weird Thighs, but really comfy jeans that were the correct length. This is happiness.

Today, went shopping for blinds for my room. Twice. As neither set I bought fit the window. Because of course, a tape measure isn't good enough. You need this measured by *geometrists* or something to get the correct proportioned, which means my windows can be looked through by any perve in the area who wants to scare me to death.

Or I can go for that elegant sheet-over-the-window look.

I'm telling you, there's a lot ot be said for hanging the blue monkey sheets in teh windows. You know, the ones facing the road.

Oh yeah. I'm all about the class this year.

Did I mention my stackable shoe rack didn't fit my other stackable shoe rack? Yes, my day has been *marvelous*.

Blah blah blah

Did a author-sweep of [livejournal.com profile] scribblinlenore at SSA here. I always forget how deeply, passionately, I love Aphrodesia, that single-handedly reconciled me to the concept of Ponn Farr!Clark. I mean, saffron. That's just so cool.

It also got me through insomnia, version 2.3, the one where it's not just being tired and can't sleep. It's a hellish place of being tired, can't sleep, and can't stop thinking. These are the times that things like Lobster!Ben become really reasonable, revolutionary ideas in fiction. Or Clark growing wings. At four in the morning, my pillow and I had a deep conversation about how this could change Clark's life. Then we remembered Te did it already, and well, damn.

In case anyone's forgotten: Whosoever Loveth and Maketh a Lie. The one with wings and kinky sex.

In the last month, I have read or re-read the following:

Clark with a two pronged penis.
Clark with a self-lubing ass.
Clark with a self-lubing penis.
Clark turned into a girl. This genre deserves its own archive. Seriously.
Clark turned into a girl and getting pregnant. Own. Archive. I want them all together somewhere.
Clark staying technically male and getting pregnant. See above.
Clark getting his ass-hymen removed.
Clark the cannibal.
Clark with wings. Feathery ones.
Clark turns into a cat.
Clark turns into a frog.
The one where Clark's penis talks to him.
The one from mutant fish pov.
Pon Farr!Clark

Edited to Add, via [livejournal.com profile] pearlo

Clark with a prehensile penis. I completely forgot, but I read it sometime this summer.

Edited to Add, via [livejournal.com profile] svmadelyn and [livejournal.com profile] hwmitzy

Clark with a knot in his penis.
Clark with a retractable penis.

I have no idea what this means at all, but it's been an adventurous month, don't you think?

Hmm. Did I miss anything interesting?
Monday, June 21st, 2004 06:57 pm

(no subject)

The computers were down for another system upgrade type thing, which left us desperately little to do at work. Child went with my sister and her family to spend the night in Dallas and go to Six Flags tomorrow. I'm torn between missing him and being really amused at the fact that my sister has never dealt with him and bedtime before.

But still. That's a lot of free time and not much to do with it. Grumbly.


Stealing recs from my friendspage, courtesey of [livejournal.com profile] lierdumoa.

After the Fact by [livejournal.com profile] maiaj. I can't even express how much I love this story. IT's a lovely post-4.9 interlude, sweet and gentle and just. Gah. It's beautiful.


This came out a while back, but I fell across it cleaning out one of my folders, and well, had to read it.

The 53rd Wednesday by [livejournal.com profile] suzvoy. Futurefic, Clark/Lex implied.

Wednesday wasn't just Wednesday anymore. It was enjoyable, exciting, something
to look forward to. All the things that Wednesday never was.

He still hated it.

It's out of context, but the entire story just slipped so prettily into my head. Lex is dealing, in his very, very insane way. I want to feed him grapes so much.

Things of No Interest

I keep looking at my WiP folder, and not even in guilt, just in puzzlement. I'm not sure if it's that I'm actually avoiding it because I'm not in the mood or because every time I open it, How It's Gonna Be is right there.

Damn you, [livejournal.com profile] lierdumoa. I was really good with not even seeing it anymore.

On the other hand, I got a *lot* done, and not just reorganizing my bookmarks, which it itself might have been some kind of cry for help. A mass dump of snippets and WiPs in my SV folder, which not only cleared up space, but was somehow really cheering, and a secondary dump of my X-Men and finally, finally, cleaned out the useless Voyager stuff that for some reason I kept clinging to. For no *reason*, even. I need to do round two and seriously just throw everything else away, but I'm leaving it until a day I'm stronger and also, have a few hours to reread, because damned if I don't have to *look at every damn thing* before I can recycle it.

Okay. Tackling outdated graphics next. Seriously, I don't need pics I downloaded in 1999 here.
[livejournal.com profile] svmadelyn and [livejournal.com profile] nonchop are working me through the trauma. I don't think I'll ever be clean again. Ever. I mean, ever.

But! [livejournal.com profile] nonchop recommended this, so I share.

Context by Addicted Kitten. It's one of those improbable crossovers that just works and makes laugh and is fun and creates happy thoughts. Smallville/Nsync, Justin, Lance, Clark, and Lex, funny as hell. I mean, seriously. Fun.

"But I asked you first," Clark said, leaning against the counter. "Are you here on business?"

"That's a good question." Lance copied Clark's casual pose on the opposite counter. "I am here on business, this time. But Lex and I go way back. We had mutual friends, and a few memorable encounters in the VIP room at Club Zero."

"Oh." Clark frowned. "Encounters? So you were friends?"

Lance smiled to himself. "We shared...common interests."

"Like what?"

"Corporate holdings. Apple martinis. Light bondage."

Just. Heh. I'm so entranced.
Monday, November 17th, 2003 09:57 pm

(no subject)

Just think, angry misery can be *beneficial*. Running on just around two hours sleep, I got up this morning on the side of the bed I like to call Hell, and that's because I slept on the floor.

Because, on a cool night in an air conditioned house? I somehow, miraculously, got overheated. Again. Three hours of twisting, turning, everything, and I *don't* get insomnia like this. At least, I didn't used to. So me and my over the counter drug thing are doing just great, and double dosing at lunch didn't just make me jittery, I hit *mania*.

In that way that should be depressing, it was kind of cool. It figures the only way I can be even relatively happy is when overworked (as Many People called in sick), with a pounding headache, and pretty damn high. I had a blast this afternoon. My control-freak instincts kicked in beautifully, as there was no one to tell me what to do. Honestly, I'd be more ashamed of myself if I was just less *tired*. But not sleepy, apparently. Which, again, if I was less tired? Would *also* freak me out.

Of course, in the middle of this, I had that short-tempered flash of sheer, blinding rage about a rather innocuous email, and God, someone should put me *out* of my misery when I get freaked about email. *sighs*

I'm so in need of cotton candy right now.

Comfort Fic - been recced, been multirecced, but my journal, my wallowing in self-pity. I comfort myself with what works.

I Know What You Wished For by Lane Carson, QaF - because it just makes me happy, happy, happy. This one and Between Love and Hate, the sequel. I *wallow*. At this point, I *deserve* to wallow, since I don't see any cotton candy.

Better by shallott, SV -- still one of my favorite fics of all time. Just subtle and beautiful and so perfectly post-Jitters.

In the Absence by Jane St. Clair X-Force, I think - see, the thing is? Never read the comic book, could probably not pick them out of a line-up, but the entire story is just so perfect it makes me melt. Every. Damn. Time.

Bail by Arabella O'Reilly, QaF -- I just love this one. And the sequels.

I think I should go forth to chat and make someone miserable. Any volunteers? *hopeful*
Nothing new with the file cabinet.


Scrabble Fic by [livejournal.com profile] josselin. Heh. Brian and Justin play Scrabble. Cuteness. Very.


Because I can. I really have nothing better to do. Isn't that just sad? To be creative about it, one per fandom I've been monogamous with.

Queer As Folk

The Color Series by Triskyfic -- see, I did this one an injustice the first time I read it and again when I recced it. I still have problems with the way she themes throughout with color, but that's a personal quirk, and the more I read it, the less I notice it, because it's good. I'm especially attracted to the past/present/future mix she does--you'd think it would be confusing, and it *is*, but in the addictive, right way it's supposed to be. Teasy-like. It's extremely solid, and it's fun, and kano may be my new favorite word.


And Dark Our Celebration Was by Hth. See, this is where it's nice when one gets perspective after short periods of time hiding from one's home fandom. I really, really hated this story in every way that can be considered a positive--beautiful writing, dark in that hopeless, deathless way that's like you need to talk yourself off a ledge after, but subtly so. Kind of like an ice pick to just left of the heart, so to speak.

It's hard to explain.

"I don't call it sleeping with you. If this is what you consider a perfectly acceptable sexual encounter then I have to say, I don't think much of the quality of people you've been dating lately."

I just love that line.

*grins* I think I may re-read Immortality next. For those unfortunate few who remember my temper tantrums after *that* one was released, feel free to send scathing email about being discreet in public. God, I miss Grail muchly. *sighs*


X-Men Movieverse

One that isn't on my page, one that is. Vic gets short-shifted from me most of the time--I *know* her and therefore, the entire contempt of familiarity kicks in, but this is one of my favorite stories by her and in retrospect, one of my favorite re-reads in X-Men, it's so damn timeless. And reminds me I have thirty eight X-Men stories i've kept meaning to add to my page and never have. Crap.

A Harbor in the Tempest by [livejournal.com profile] musesfool -- there's a lot to like about this story that has nothing to do with its genealogy, and five pages in, you know it's Casablanca With Mutants, so just go with it. The movie is classic, the story is too. As a mutant-world safety zone, with Logan the cynic and Jeez, poor Jean, it starts off clean and keeps going. Vic does immaculate prose, so you really can just get yourself lost in the story. And you may think you know it, but trust me, you don't. Read it.

A Place by Sandra. I have this hope that I'll run into her again cross-fandom, which considering the rate LJ spreads, possibly isn't too far in the future, or so I can hope.

There's a place.

A place where an old man's voice isn't whispering tenderly when she quietly grieves. Where she can run and the voices aren't shouting after her, in her, telling her there are starved, scared wolves lurking in those dark, hushed forests.

Most writers can't pull off rhythmic, stylized stories brilliantly. Hell, a majority can't pull off readable grammar, but that's not the lecture for the evening. This story is the one, single, shining reason why I actually still believe that any subgenre of fiction can be done brilliantly, because this is one of the most beautiful single pieces of fiction I've read in my life.

I'd quote more, but frankly, there's no way to do it and make it nearly as perfect, as shattering, as it does when read straight through. And that would be *now*, because seriously, this is why X-Men was my addiction for over a year and why I can quote by memory from this one. It's *good*.

Star Trek: Voyager

Ah, I miss you sometimes.

Mirror Images by Dave Rogers. See, I still get chills from re-reading this one. It's simple in-canon fic--gap filler, if you will, reaching across from Vis a Vis through Demon, and for perfect capture character, there's nothing better in the fandom.

Wordlessly, she stood up and strode into the office, where the E.M.H.
sat quietly and discreetly. Tom's mirror image could not hear what
passed between them, but she was back in minutes.

"Listen, whoever - whatever you are." She spoke rapidly, in short,
clipped sentences. "She won't know about the Maquis. Break it to her
gently. Help her through it. She won't know about the Hirogen. She
doesn't need to. And she won't know about Steth. Don't you *ever* let
her find out."

"I don't understand." His face was frowning, but his eyes were bright
with hope.

"The Doc's beamed a sample of my DNA to the surface. She'll be waiting
for you."

"B'Elanna, I...", he stammered, jumping to his feet. "Why? I thought
you hated me?"

"I do." She turned away. "But not that much."

Gets me every time.

What the heck. One more.


And think, I know *nothing* about the fandom or the canon, but whoo, this story...

This Is How by Siarade. Again, when style is done well, I'm pretty much an easy lay, kay? Non standard use of timeline, which I applaud muchly, lovely pov, and this beautiful, intnese examination of grief.

When you talk about the dead, about dead things, talk with someone who knows. People who don't know can't talk about the dead. They expect death to be a jump from alive and vital to cold and empty. Not even a jump; that implies movement, when they expect it to be a snap ì once one way, now the other, a momentary switch that has no levels or gradation.

And the eternal seconds of watching someone die.

Why This Sudden Backtrack

[livejournal.com profile] seemag asked what stories scarred you (in a good way), and mentioned Iolokus, which to go with it, HELL YES, but since I wasn't ever even within a breath of being intimately involved with that fandom, I think of it differnetly from a fandom I wrote and participated in. Just the depth of commitment.

Scarring though. That's a weird one. And also kind of funny, since [livejournal.com profile] jaymalea asked me last night what my favorite slash story was and I couldn't tell her.

story blatherings )
Original Entry Date: 8/19/2007, 23:23
Backdated Entry Date: created 8/20/2007, 15:37, partial copy of privatized entry.

I'm seriously beginning to wonder if Te said 'jump', I wouldn't even bother saying 'how high', I'd just do it.

*shakes head* I am spineless putty in her BNFesque iron fist.

I'll get to that later. Another day. Just be aware. Dangerous lady.


Yes, this surprised me too.

Before the Songs Were Made by emerlin.

I'm a huge whore for a good title--see the fact I tend to steal them if they appeal to me enough. But oddly, it wasn't the title that caught my attention this one time.

This did.

"I'll tell you something, though, Clark." He's so near now that he hardly needs to speak above a murmur. He is straddling Clark's thighs, feet rooted on either side of his body, legs splayed slightly to bring him near. Clark is still gripping the back of the bench, head back and chest rising rapidly with each
breath. There isn't enough air down here, and Clark is beginning to wonder what life will be like with claustrophobia and agoraphobia when Lex speaks again.

"People will tell you that you need to conquer your fear. That you should make yourself the master of it, vanquish it and move on with your life the stronger for it." Clark is pretty sure who 'people' might be in Lex's case. He flashes
on a vision of Lionel lecturing a young Lex, and shivers. The shivers grow as Lex leans in even tighter, now only inches away from his face. "But that's bullshit, Clark. The fear never goes. It never goes away."

I was just moving email, dammit. Stupid damned good lines.

I loved this for about a ton of reasons, but the biggest is how the author gave us the world with minimal fuss and backstory. A few lines here or there to sketch the basics, leaving the rest to pure imagination. It's a wonderful way to do it if the author's good enough to pull it off, and she most definitely is.

The dissonance between Clark and Lex is perfect--they're no where near enemies, but miles and miles away from close friends. The slightest edge of an unspoken armed truce that they both know will break and break soon, but for now--for now, it's all a fragile status quo.

Fear and what comes of it. Falling and flying. How you never really can get away from what you are. This is beautifully concieved and written, and highly recommended.


Child started school. Untraumatizing and strangely surreal. I did so much laundry I think I broke a record. But the closet is clean and during my search and destroy, found a lot of shoes I apparently own.

I mean, a LOT of shoes. And strangely, all variations of brown and black, with the stinging shock of one pair of red slip ons and one pair of red velvet heels. It's bizarre. It really, really is.

Yes, red velvet heels. My aunt got them for me in some strange shopping trip. I wear them with jeans, because frankly, they--well, they're red velvet HEELS. What on earth DO they go with?

Work was scary. I won't even go into how scary, but it was scary. Also, woman was banned today for threatening my supervisor, who was oh so not amused. It would be funny if I wasn't vaguely aware disgruntled people might be bullshit ninety-nine percent of the time, but the one percent they aren't is always pretty damn destructive.

Teh guy situation is resolved messily and we're into ignoring each other completely, which is pretty much the story of my life wiht people and further evidence that I am not a people person, nor was I ever meant to be allowed a relationship with another human being.


You know you're obsessed when you start grinning while replaying various scenes from QaF in your head when clients are annoying you. I think "what would Justin do?" because frankly, I'm not entirely sure Brian's methodology of dealing would be feasible. Fun, yes, but let's face it, sex for girls requires a lot more than a quick unzip, kay? Stupid interior sex organs. Gah.

I just love the boy for his sheer ability to stalk successfully. He makes me smile a lot.

*happy place*

Been mulling, strangely enough, adding to Standing in the Common Spaces. Not for any other really good, artistic reason other than vanity, I think, and boredom. Mostly because I like writing Peter--he's kind of what I wish Clark could become eventually, though I know he never will. Plus, it'd be plotted, and the challenge would do me good.

Not that I'm doing anything but mulling. I'm pretending Word doesn't exist, at least until I finish tabulating the Treasury stuff. Which, unsurprisingly, is requiring me to use a calculator more than I'm comfortable with. I pride myself on the fact I can do most arithmetic in my head still, but when one starts getting dizzy staring at the screen, it's time to face reality and get a pad or a calculator. Stupid brain.

(story available on website, Find Me)
Reason four thousand nine hundred eighteen that I love [livejournal.com profile] rivkat.

Five Things That Never Happened to Lex Luthor. I wish I could hit everything I loved, but every bit of it would spoil, so go with the fact that number four was--man. And number five? Oh yes. And number one? Ooh.

Notice all the non commital noises. And I didn't even get around to two and three, geh and whoa.

She rocks.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY [livejournal.com profile] musesfool. May it be filled with much Sirius/Remus, Eowyn, chocolate, and other lovely things, honey. *hugs*

Reorganized my hose by color. Lookie there, only two colors. That took a long time. Tore one pair on suit of armor (miniature) I recieved from sister for Chirstmas, kind of liked it, and scrapped it to make masks to play burlgar with Child later. I'm leading him to the dark side big time.

Why do I see myself testifying about this in court someday? *worries*

Am joining family on vacation beachward in a few weeks. This means, of course, bathing suit shopping, the single most terrifying experience of my life, and I'm counting the time I tried on sixteen (SIXTEEN) prom dresses in varying shades of pink before being allowed to settle back into black.

I did look at some of the bits, though, that are so cheerfully considered appropriate outdoor attire. I was thinking I'd like that twenties sort of look--ankle to wrist covered, maybe something in stripes, with a big floppy hat and very large sunglasses. Apparently, however, like the never ending stretches of capri pants that seemed to be assaulting me from every direction, the bits left from creating Barbie's wardrobe tied together with tiny bits of string are so the way to go.

It interests me in a morbid kind of way. Just looking at them reminds me of every inch of inexpertly placed fat and the sheer lack of cup size I have going on. There was this one that I sort of liked--a kind of top that went to just above the navel, adn cute little hot pants, which actually looked not only comfortable, but also like it might protect those bits that should never really come in contact with one hundred degree sun and the unfortunate abrasions of sand. It also would have required a mortgage to own.

It's cute. But no bathing suit is that cute. I'm leaning toward t-shirt and cut-offs again. I shall be viciously unfashionable and also? Boondocky. But comfy as well. Perhaps I should not have gotten my tooth fixed after all.


I have a new classification system for them.

Stories I'm Hiding From

Clexbrothers weird AU -- yeah, yeah, yeah, this one's old news and I've posted bits here.

Pretty When You're Mine -- I almost want to finish this simply because [livejournal.com profile] raincitygirl said in such a mournful tone that I probably wouldn't, as I am contrary like that.

Stories I'm Ignoring

Something Like Forgetting -- yes, I'm actively ignoring. Even whistling during.

Where No One Else Can Follow -- because I have no idea what to DO with it.

This, Too -- cowrite with Pru. I am pleased to say we are BOTH hiding AND ignoring it splendidly. And also? This sucker won't stop growing. I don't trust it. I keep expecting it to attack.

Bruce/Lex for Te -- because I'm malleable and she KNOWS that. And also, I can't get Bruce to do anything but stalk. Stupid weird boy.

Pretentiously Titled Fic -- aka, the one that accidentally got a plot. I was amusing myself by writing up a scene where Pete and Clark from Standing in the Common Spaces have another chat. Bah. Go away.

Stories That Annoy Me and Act Dumb

The Yard -- because it scares me and the outline I was dumb enough to make won't stop growing.

Rising - stupid AUness.

And the rest that I am pretending aren't there until I can deal with them.

With any kind of luck, they'll all go away.

How to...

Amuse yourself during break at work.

The break room has newly cleaned, waxed, polished, whatever floors--slick and slippery and I was in my non-slick shoes, which wasn't satisfactory at all. Since I go to lunch a half-hour early than most, I was in first, admiring the way the worn million-year old hallogen lights overhead turned the floor a perky shade of sick yellow, and considered the fact that the partition that separates it from the conference room was down.

In this room, you see, are chairs with wheels.

Nice, slick wheels. That sliddddeee.

You tell me what I spent fifteen minutes doing in the break room while I warmed up my lunch and waited for it to cool to eat.

I will just point out--man, that was fun.

And no one is going ot convince me that other people weren't doing it, too.

Today was serenely monotonous, filled with small annoyances, but I did get to overhear a client bitching out the senior clerk on the phone. That was a mistake on his part. The rest of us are kinda--leery, about being sharp with rude clients. She's sort of not. She gave him a three second warning and hung up the phone.

I want to be her when I grow up. She hung up with style and even a flourish.

Mmm. Flourish.

Made triple chocolate brownies from box, the best kind. Chock full of preservatives, artificial colors and flavors, massive amounts of fat, oil, and tiny Hershey's kisses to make the chewy and the gooey.

Mmm. Cholesterol. (is that how you spell it?)

I want another one.
Monday, July 14th, 2003 11:52 pm

good things

To remind myself.

[livejournal.com profile] celli and [livejournal.com profile] hwmitzy for being huge, mountainous pillars of strength and allow me to just wallow. I love you both.

[livejournal.com profile] rivkat gave sensible advice. Sensible and attractive advice.

[livejournal.com profile] koimistress who takes time out of her extremely busy life to not only be affirming but also! Sent VERY cool email. Must send feedback.

[livejournal.com profile] gem225, because the QaF tapes were on my table today and seriously, did much to liven up a frighteningly scary day. They are by my computer, lovingly fondled every so often, eager to be played and adored. Which they will be. Often. *sends hugs* Thank you thank you thank you. And more thank you. Any ficness you want, it's yours and not in jenn-time, but actual real-time.

[livejournal.com profile] tstar78, because she rocks and because good things happen to her that she totally, totally deserves so much.

[livejournal.com profile] edgecity, who probably doesnt' even know how much I was cheered up by a post recently in LJ.

[livejournal.com profile] harriet_spy who wrote Every Third Sunday, a Justice League fic. Clark/Lex that isn't Smallville, is hot, and really makes me want to TAPE this show from now on or something. Wow. And wow again. And lusting after cartoon characters? I should be worried I am doing this. I'm not.

I need to focus on this more often. People are far too cool.
I won't sing, 'cause me doing it should be a federal offense, so.


*hugs* May it be a wonderful day that includes all fruit/sex partner combinations of your choice.

Watch for mosquitoes though.

Birthday present en route. Er, I think.

Other Things

Bought shoes. Red ones. Yes, that kind of shocked me, too, but they're cute. Don't match anything except denim, but hey. Shoes! Bought egrerious amounts of food to cook in bizarre ways.

Places to Go

Because I just like linking today.

Here, [livejournal.com profile] musesfool discusses style and substance.


Clark Kent Appreciation Day by [livejournal.com profile] tstar78 Lex appreciates Clark the way he deserves. The schmoopiness never ends. Adorable.

Taken by Lenore. Absolutely hysterical what if--in which Clark is too nice and Lex is just really, really helpful.

Behind a Dragon's Smile by [livejournal.com profile] thamiris. An anniversary, a fairy tale, and some serious hotness. I want to read the story she cited now. Must find.


Must make brownies now.
Miss [livejournal.com profile] raijahn just posted her very first SV fanfic. Or so she tells me. *narrowed eyes* Not sure I believe her.

Storm, WiP.

Encourage! Encourage! Encourage!
Air by by C. M. Decarnin (SV, Clark/Lex)

[livejournal.com profile] mecurtin? This one?

Really REALLY good ficness here, btw. Must read. Now.

Thanks to I think Olympe for the rec on her LJ. I think it was her. *mulls*
Wednesday, July 2nd, 2003 10:28 pm

(no subject)

I don't actually *believe* that I may go completely insane and start *truly* believing the new software is sentient and out to get me....

But this could change at *any* time.

Consider this. I am an obsessive checker of email. Starting this entry, it is ten twenty-eight PM CST. The first time today I have had the opportunity to get on my computer. And thsi is hwo far I've gotten in my friendslist.

Rainforest!Porn by [livejournal.com profile] celli. Well, it's magnificent anyway. *loves Celli* I'm telling you, the benefits of whining continuously for days outweigh the drawbacks. And man it's good.

And that software IS out to get me. I cannot merely consider it sleep-deprivation paranoia. I also canceled a dental appointment tomorrow because when I talked to my boss, she sounded Very Unhappy I'd be off.

Yes, that's me, plowed RIGHT under.

I'm making less sense than usual and am perfectly okay with that.

So, I broke one of the Rules of Boring Jenn Living tonight. I'm drinking a Mike's Hard Cranberry Lemonade (which, btw, seriously rocks), and am being completely unapologetic about the fact I am drinking A.) At all. B.) Non-socially C.) on a weekday D.) did I mention I rarely drink even when being social?

Yep, I am descending into the bowels of corruption. Someone, somewhere, should damn well be trembling. Who knows where this will lead?

Also, Henry the Interpreter refused to be social. Bastard. There goes YOUR hope of telephone flirtation, mister. Wherever you are.

I just glanced at my To_Read folder in the inbox and realized that there's a really good chance that anyone who doesn't know I have an LJ is probably going to think I died. Jesus, it piles up. How does it DO that? It must be email mating season--God knows, the spam seems to be on fertility drugs, and okay, again, seriously, I shouldn't be comparing everything to sex these days.

*kicks at story* It's this--this story's fault This one I started a few days ago by accident, thinking that I was going to be writing something entirely different, and was all excited until I looked at it and thought, man. This is depressing. And strangely, it only gets more so. Even the sex is depressing. What sex there is. I'm not even sure it qualifies. Penii are involved, but they aren't having that great a time and even they aren't sure what they're doing there.

*buries head in hands*

Just need to make it through tomorrow, then I can collapse. And do the Treasury stuff I'm just barely keeping up with. Then collapse. And not move. Like, ever.

And if you havne't yet, read this.

Cumulus by Kat Reitz and tzigane. This is--I really want to say sweet, but honestly, that's not nearly the right word. I like Clark here. I do. I really, really do.

Okay, going to wind down and remeber how my feet are shaped when they AREN'T up on three inch heels.
Saturday, June 28th, 2003 11:02 pm



Thebes by [livejournal.com profile] rosenho

I honestly think the entire historical challenge was almost created for this story. When I'm competent, will do something more than be amazed, but right now, that's about what I've got. If you haven't read it, you should be doing so now. It's completely incomparable. [livejournal.com profile] latxcvi was right. This is Clark, this is Lex, and this is the spirit of it.

Cycles by [livejournal.com profile] zarah_5

I had to read it three times. And I still dont' think I have it all. And I'm still thinking about it.

Echo by [livejournal.com profile] blackfall

Three words. Piercings. Concert. Lex.

The Last Days by Lux.

The writer's notes mention English isn't her first language, and there are a few awkward phrasings, but other than that? Lovely. I liked the flow, I liked both Clark and Lex, and I liked how it all slipped together so effortlessly. *grin* I want to *keep* her.


Teh Summer of WiPs, listed out and annotated by the lovely, brilliant, all-knowing, all-wise [livejournal.com profile] mecurtin

Yes, I'm happy to see a single refernece point. How'd you tell?

I'm slightly beneath the mood weather, but serious application to enhancers should fix that. There's also triple chocolate cake waiting.

Clark issues, redux from LJ )
Clark knew that it turned him on that Clark could hold him still, could make him do things that maybe he didn’t want as much as Clark did, and that made Clark crazy....

Eternal gratitude to [livejournal.com profile] devinmoonshine for reccing this. Eternal slavery to [livejournal.com profile] velvetglove for writing it. Just. Wow.

Primary by [livejournal.com profile] velvetglove

*going to read again*
Wednesday, June 25th, 2003 11:43 pm

Insta!rec -- Lied

Read it now, choke laughing, and then read it again.

Lied by Mereid.

Gotta love a proactive Clark.

"Didn't Mr. Luthor bring a date?" A young woman breathed airily at Clark's
side. "He looks *so* handsome."

"He does, doesn't he?" Clark sighed, touching the back of his hand to his nose,
and sniffing a little. "He's so brave. After Troy, well. We didn't think he'd
ever go out in public again..."

I'm in love. *Happy*
Crayons, to be exact. In the dryer. I haven't looked at anything but Child's shorts, because I am afraid. I am very, very afraid.

COLORS. I'm outlawing them when I become dictator of the world and hold it in my clenched yet magnanimous fist. FIRST thing, right after nutella and infomercials. Hell, it may beat infomericals.

I had a DRESS in there.

*deep breath*

In news guaranteed to make all of us feel safer in our beds....

Cara Chapel versus the muses

I think all of us have felt this from time to time. *takes practice shot at Peter Parker, who, stupid spiderperson, leaps out of the way*

Brand New Normal by [livejournal.com profile] runpunkrun, which is, I will say it, manna from heaven. Oh my yes. Run, dont' walk, to read.

And if you get bored? Ask [livejournal.com profile] blackfall about the story of a bird. If she doesn't put this up in her LJ? I'm damn well going to write the entry for her. *grins* I have no words.

I had planned to call on logic-brain tonight to explore the plot holes in The Ring, but I discovered, no shock, that one night from it and it's still scaring the shit out of me. So. Pretty much going to completely live in fear for a bit longer.

In other less interesting news, I'm going to ignore everything that isn't EndlessGaySex-a-thon that me and Pru sporadically scare ourselves working on. And edit it. Dear God, does it need editing. We ended up skipping stuff until we get transcripts, but it looks like there's going to be a shorthetsexathon in there too, and okay, I'm only going to say this once.

I have been mean to Clark Kent in a dizzying variety of ways. But I have never denied him orgasms. That should totally count for something.

*sighs* Dental appointment on Thursday. Counting down. Breathe. Breathe.
Sunday, June 22nd, 2003 07:34 pm

(no subject)

Naps are evil, but damned if they aren't intersting. And relaxing. And--lots of other words.

Hiding from OotP spoilers. It's like a minefield out there--one foot wrong and boom. Spoiled. Which I have avoided assiduously. But still. *shivers*

Bought "The Ring" last weekend and still haevn't gotten around to watching it. I have a weird relationship with movies that scare me--or logical. I watch them during daylight. And only have time at night. Hence, it sits on my DVD player and mocks me.

It's getting darkish again, see. Grr. Stupid nap.

Grr. But! A ray of light. Of a kind.

Roomies, part seven is up! Lex is such a brat. And I like him that way. *happy sigh* Brat, brat, brat. But so pretty.

I want more, dammit. The Summer of WiPs is the biggest tease ever. And where *is* Altville anyway?
Friday, June 20th, 2003 10:30 pm

all over the place

Updated and corrected the rules for [livejournal.com profile] the_treasury. I shouldn't be this tense about it. *g* But seriously, I am. Jangling nerves and all.

Probably doesnt' help I cheated on Juan the Translator Guy with Tom the Translator Guy. Whilst waiting for Client to finish filling out change sheet, we discussed our weekend plans. Mine involve going to a baby shower. Yes, I am the party girl from hell. I'm not sure Tom the Translator Guy wasn't laughing his ass off when we got off the phone after a passionate goodbye and promises to call again.

Okay, this is kind of disturbing, as the passionate part didnt' happen, though I did say I'd call again. *g* Dramatizing my telephone life with a translation firm? One, I might add, that isn't even located in Texas?


A caseworker quit today, which is sad. Another coworker had an allergic reaction to something. There weren't many clients, so I played with the copy machine and the shredder. Which is, you know, immature, but kind of better than how I entertained myself earlier this week, which is making small balls of paper and throwing them unexpectedly at people as I passed their offices. But only when I knew they would'nt catch me.

Yep, I know, I'm so wild and crazy. Just stacking up the vendettas. This could be what burnout feels like. Or just simple exhaustion. I have to get a day to sleep late. Seriously, it's now become a matter of some urgency--I just don't get TIRED before midnight anymore and I haven't been able to shift. Which is, you know, okay for a bit, but seriously, SLEEP already.

Besides sleep-deprivation paranoia (yes, [livejournal.com profile] cjandre, the rabbits are after me) and my oh so exciting phone social life, I did have a fun experience shopping the other day. As I got to price chenille yarn (think that is spelled right) and realized that while I like a lot of people enough to make them afghans, until someone offers me some kind of organ in exchange, they're going to have to stick to plain yarn. EIGHT DOLLARS A SKEIN????? TEN SKEINS TO MAKE ANYTHING? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

But dammit, the pattern is pretty, and the gloss--*grits teeth*. I do not need a separate savings account specifically to save up for yarn. That will only highlight how truly bizarre my life has become.

Finally unloaded a couple of baby blankets I made up last year and put away. Must start and finish one for cousin, soon. Also one for emergency babies. And well, baby blankets are fun and mindless work and so pretty.

Mulling dyeing rest of hair electric red. Screw conformity and good taste. I want to have strawberry colored hair, literally. But then again, I really wanted a pony as a child and that fell through. I could be compensating.

A few recs I missed, due to stupidity.


The Telling of All This by tiffany rawlins. I read it on a link from LJ earlier this week and went, huh. THAT is different. And you will too. Extremely interesting conflict. And a Clark that's making me curious.

Wonderland by Rhiannonhero. Mmm. Pretty Clexy porn. With tiny bits of h/c in there like sprinkles. Mmmm. Yes.

Five Lies Your Mother Never Told You by [livejournal.com profile] tstar78 She blows my mind. Five GOOD AUs, all skewed and strange and maybe sweet and kind of creepy. I'm good for three and four especially. *hugs Caro* Amazing, hon.

Disturbers of the Peace by calico. Whoa DOGGIES. Non-verbal. Sexy, yes, hot, yes, but location and motivation just kill me dead. Delicious. I wnat to keep her forever and ever somewhere safe, where she will write MORE like this in SV. *grins and sighs*

Coffee. And sugar. And a snowcone. I really have no idea why on the last, but still. Mmm. Snowcone.
Blow your minds, people. It will never ever be as good as this again.


Like every SV slash fan with a pulse and an internet connection isn't.

Jesus Christ, I love her.

And screw coherency. I'm going to re-read.
Part I:

[livejournal.com profile] rosenho made me a lovely icon! And LJ is trying to destroy my soul.

Okay, how are these things related? Let me explain.

While working on something, I accidentally deleted my friends style. Okay, no big deal, one might think, if one did not know me very well or one assumed that I was sane. stupid things like that freak me out. I couldn't remember the coding I'd added, and then it refused to CHANGE styles, but kept it in this format that I simply could not COULD NOT read.

Luckily, it started letting me chagne eventualy, but that is whyit looks--well, werid. To me. I HAD it exactly like I'm comfy reading it!

I, friends, do not like change. It's a sad, sad thing.

So today, it seems--relatively something I can deal with until I make imaginary time to take the code and start altering it back to what I prefer. Okay. So, uploading icon Hope made.

And of course, it doens't work. Because? That, my friends, would be easy.


In other news, [livejournal.com profile] rivakt recced Baring the Cross, which is so good my teeth are aching, and I don't remmber reading this. Now, to put it another way--when this story was posted, I was reading EVERYTHING that anyone posted in SV, right up to and including some forms of Clark/Lana (I learned better soon after). So if I read it, apparetnly, I have forgotten it completely. If I haven't, I should be so ashamed, except--I got to read it today!

By CJ, who I Adore, and wow. Just. Wow.

*loves CJ and RivkaT*


Part II:

Well. I have chatted myself to comfort zone. I'll just jump.

*edited at 12:56 AM to change banners. I didn't even notice, Khaki and other anonymous person! *shakes head* I need sleep soon. Someday.*

Coordinated by [livejournal.com profile] taraljc, [livejournal.com profile] celli, [livejournal.com profile] slodwick and myself. Specific information regarding method, rules, etc, can be found at [livejournal.com profile] the_treasury, and didn't Slod pick a cool name for it?

Discussion opens today--questions, remarks, clarification, etc, feel free to wander over and comment as desired. Nomination and voting dates are included in the entry.

*breathes* Okay, feeling better now.
Wednesday, June 11th, 2003 08:51 pm

(no subject)

Unfortunately, the funniest thing that happened today is so contextual it won't make any sense to anyone who doesn't work where I do. This is one of the few times in my life I literally could NOT stop laughing. Laid on the keyboard, my instructor almost patting my shoulder because, seriously, only I could manage something like this.

Okay, I'll try it like this.

The new system that's being implemented around the end of the month is what we're being trained to use--a lot of automation for some basic tasks, new stuff, etc. Lots of stuff we're used to doing by hand, so expect me to lose any ability to write with a pen soon. Anyway, we were learning how to edit cases, and one of the exercises is to add a child to one of the cases.

Sounds simple, right?

It actually IS. I skipped a step by accident, but came back to it and finished up, then couldn't figure out why the program didn't tally right. Hmm, thought I, so I went to look. Child had been made Head of Household, which is basically a term for the parent of the family who made the application. I also had managed not to actually add him to anything except in this one record.

I'll fix! I thought. Easy.

One hour, forty five minutes later, Child was still there, still head of household, and not moving. I tried to delete him off the case--he would not delete. I took away his social security number and his ability to speak English--okay, that last part was just malice, but his Swahili was excellent, I might add. Nothing. Finally, my instructor leaning over me, I asked if I could kill him.

Between the two of us, we could not find the function that let us declare him dead.

Stupid Refusing To Die Fictional Kid on a Case. Unfortunately, these cases are what we've been building from the beginning of the course--I can't just delete it off and start over, because I don't have all the information anymore. So. Stupid Non-Dying Fictional Child is still there, still mocking me, and I cant' use that case to go any farther.

Okay, use this case, Instructor says, giving me a new case number that was around the same level as mine had been before Stupid Non-Dying Fictional Child refused to go away. This one I errored out on several times and it gave me a Please Call System Administrator warning when I was trying to add his school information. Huh, says professor. He found another one and watched entranced as I managed, and neither of us know how, to get the entire family disqualified.

He worked my first case and then my third, and could not figure out what on earth I'd managed to do. I could have found a bug in the system. Either that, he theorizes, or I emit a strange, magnetic forcefield of some kind that is, in fact, causing the computer to become the technological equivalent of insane.

Either those two, or, he said, looking me in the eye, or my work computer is, in fact, really that pissed about the technodultery.

I. Am. So. Tired. One more day. Even I can't crash a system in one day. I think.

Isn't it nice there's fic to read when I drag myself home?

":A HREF="http://www.livejournal.com/users/scribblinlenore/29585.html" TARGET="_Top">Billy Swanson. Oh wow. Clark and Lana, Clark and Lex, and passion. The achingly slow, careful exploration and realization, almost inevitablity, just completely captivated me. Sad, painfully accurate Lana, wonderfully written Clark, and a Lex still avoiding. I love it. And you will too.

Quote of the Day

Has anyone ever actually freed a cock from its denim prison?

What's the procedure for that? Is there a parole hearing first? What if the cock is a repeat offender? Or if it's spent time in solitary? Does a plea for clemency help at all?

How about a record of good behavior?

I want to marry [livejournal.com profile] reetchick when I grow up. I really, really do.

Why I Friended You: Volume III

I swear, I was going to finish tonight, but I am fried. Hopefully, have enough energy to read porn. Or at least, look at it longingly.

*hugs to everyone*

No particular order here, just grabbing and answering as I can.

[livejournal.com profile] transtempts -- don't hate me--I don't remember the specific reason why I friended you originally, but I can tell you why I love reading your LJ. It's the Angel spoilers and occasional thoughts you have on it, amongst a LOT of other things, but that's what jumps out. I was SO not watching the damn show (in mourning for Doyle, you see). I avoided, avoided, avoided, then ran across something you posted before the Conner/Cordy thing and I was like, huh. Maybe.... *sighs* Now I'm addictd, dammit. Stupid show. *grins* And your daily commentary is a LOT of fun to read. Short, slightly ironic, and giggle-inducing at times.

[livejournal.com profile] goss -- it was the South Park thing--Beth sent me a ton of graphics on CD and I fell in love with those and had, had, had to find the creator. You know, as to keep up more easily and all. I love your art and your sense of humor, and I really get a huge kick out of your LJ. *grins* It just makes me happy.

[livejournal.com profile] edie22 -- I could not, for the life of me, find the log I made of some IRC chats, because that's where we met forever ago, but yeah. I liked chatting with you there and when you came to LJ, of course, HAD to keep up. Plus, EXTREMELY hot fic, and your LJ always has something vaguely off-beat about it that makes me want to come back and check it out.

[livejournal.com profile] ladyvyola -- I started reading your LJ when I was still in diaryland--it was just a good way to keep up with Ljdom and still stay where I was. *g* You crated and maintain that wonderful icon communtity I like to visit sometimes, and you're just so all-around nice that it's one of the few places I go when I just don't want anything even VAGUELY gripey floating around my head. *hugs* And you do some seriously good recs.

[livejournal.com profile] nestra -- Hmm. I think your reputation preceded you in this one--I'd read some of your work and enjoyed it, and when you came on LJ, really, had to keep up and see what you did. I like following what you do and how you do it, and you do some wonderfully diverse recs. LJ-stalking. It's all the rage. *g*


I have chocolate, tea (apricot, Bencheley), and porn. Okay. Relaxing commences....now.

But seriously? Stupid Fictional Kid IS going to die. I'm so feeling the deathy vibes here.
just...don't ask about my work computer and the errors out. just don't.

*breathes* Just TIRED. Dear God.

So. Recs I forgot last night while being temperamental.

Nereus Who Tells No Lies by [livejournal.com profile] thespike21 Adoration isn't enough. Post-Exodus Lex thinking, because seriously, he thinks ALL THE TIME. It's Spike, which makes it extraordinary, and this Lex?

What will it matter in the next life? He comes to it naked, grinning. Heart in hand.

I never learn, he tells the universe.

Best lines ever. *beaming*

More Nickyverse by [livejournal.com profile] dammitcarl Must sell soul to Jessica soon. This entire rental thing is stressing. I love Nicky. *sighs happily*

A Pale Distance by Nifra Idril. Wow. Whoever recced this on my LJ friends list? Thank you. Another just gorgeous piece, a Clark I love and want to marry Lex and have peace forever. *happy sigh* It's a unique view into Clark's head, and I like how she writes the character. Go for it.

Touch Therapy by fajrdrako. And don't we all wish our massages would turn out this good? I'll just leave it at that.

Raw by [livejournal.com profile] cjandre Mary Ellen? You might like this one. Hell, I LOVE this one and I have no actual kink for Alien!Clark. But--yeah. CJ takes an idea, spins it in circles, and lets it go to see what happens. And wow, does a lot happen. Fascinating look at a very, very alien Clark.

In the dream there were colors without names, which shifted and flowed like oil on water. Some of the colors were good to eat.

But in the dream he didn't know oil, or water, and eating did not require a mouth.

There were words that weren't sounds and touches that weren't from hands. These soothed him even though they weren't real, even though he knew it was the ship.


That concept did not change. Not like touch, water, and food. The ship never changed.

Not even when he did.

Really, REALLY good story.

And from today.

Numb by [livejournal.com profile] tynantblue0162 Has this been posted somewhere I don't know about? And does this author have more somewhere that, by some weird insane chance, I MISSED? Because MAN, I haev been seriously missing out here. Insurgence, vaguely AU in a way, lovely Lexness in extremis. And truly beautiful Clex going on. *pokes* Leave feedback. Stalk. Offer bribes. No, really. It IS that good.
Monday, June 9th, 2003 10:00 pm

been readin'

Kind of. In a very tired, too-much-damn-training sort of way.

Getting to that. See, today, I committed technodultery.

*sighs* I cheated on my work computer with another one. Very traumatic--to both. At least, that's the only explanation I can come up with as to why the computer I was training on today KEPT LOGGING ME OUT EVERY FIVE SECONDS.

So, I have a theory.

All these computers are networked--kind of. People who do this sort of thing know what it's called, but there we are. I logged into the training computer, and obviously, my One True Work Computer recognized my login, despite the fact I was miles away at the training facility. Insta!rage. So it obviously started a barrage attack on my training computer in a jealous, molten rage of possessive anger.

It's a delicate thing, balancing the computers in my life. I want to make them feel secure, loved, appreciated. My home computer, of course, understands I am whimsical and also, cannot take it to work with me every day. It knows its place in my life. My work computer? Not so much. I think the fact I've only really had it for a month is screwing with its self-esteem--our adjustment period after it's First True User left was difficult, but I felt we had a connection. I think, when I get back to the office on Friday, we're going to need to have a long talk about boundaries and flings with foreign computers that don't detract from how I feel about it.

Until then, a tech is working on my training computer to see why on earth it was acting like it took a high dose of PCP.

I've named work computer Max, by the way. Training computer may be called a variety of expletitives, none of which are appropriate for polite company. Luckily, none of you are. *g*


[livejournal.com profile] stalkingeric is the place to be. Totally. Where [livejournal.com profile] bexless is writing this funny, cute, FUNNY, adorable, VERY COOL College!Clark and College!Lex fic. The definitive one. Also probably the first one, so definitely definitive. It's called Roomies, three parts so far.

Also, [livejournal.com profile] box_of_serial is puttering along nicely as Liv hits part 26 of Altville and man, I want to marry her and make her write for me ALL THE TIME. Which is, well, kind of disturbing, don't you think?

And on Saturday, [livejournal.com profile] dammitcarl posted Truth in Smoke at [livejournal.com profile] selling_out. How the Band Got Together. Oh mmmm. You rock, honey. So very much.

Distrubing News

Apparently, watching SpongeBob SquarePants on repeat is just a bad idea any way you look at it.

Take Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, who are possibly my new OTP.

I shouldn't slash cartoon character. Especially octogenarian ones. You'd think that would be a given. But no. They share a bathroom. They wear pajamas constantly. And please, ward? Like I bought that with Batman! I sat there, with soda, dead sober, watching this, going, huh. Why am I seeing this? Did someone drug me? Do I NEED to be drugged?

Similar issues arise with Rocket Power, and yes, you know which two strangely single, no-women-around, constantly vacationing and reminiscing together men I speak of.

My brain scares me badly. I won't even go into the strange chemistry of Patrick and Squidwarts, especially with that entire best-friends, bathtubs-thing in that one ep, and this is where I officially send in my reservation for the handbasket.

*sighs* And here I never believed TV rotted your brain.

I'm finishing up the 'why did I friend you' meme thingie, so if anyone wants to be added, feel free to toss your name in the ring. Hat in the ring. Hat-ring? Is a ring even involved?

Oh God, I'm tired AND rotting.
Okay, you know all that whimpering I do about stupid things like teeth and sleep and wips?

Forget it.

Every so often, fate balances, the world turns, manna falls from the sky, look, miracles! Right here!

Or, my check card WORKS.

See, short story--the credit union freezes new accounts for ten days. Extremely depressing, but also, I thought, philosophically, character building. It will teach me thriftiness and make me less resentful of not owning a BMW and a small Caribbean dictatorship. Er, I think. I get confused on what life lessons I'm supposed to learn from adversity.

But lo! I foraged on, moneyless, but almost worse, because the money was THERE. I could go online and see it in my account. I just couldn't touch it.

Until The Blessed Saturday, when I got my check card, looked at it thoughtfully, then said, I shall see if it works.

And it does.

I am the almsot-ashamed-but-not-really proud owner of new DVDs that I BOUGHT ON IMPULSE. That's right. I impulse shopped. I bought DVDs, toys for son, niece, future-step-niece, future-step-nephew, expensive and unnecessary hair care products, one fo which is RIGHT THIS MINUTE dyeing my hair a new and unnatural shade of red.

I bought--*breathes*--an MP3 player. Yes. One that I shall lug around and play constantly. One that is dorkily attached TO MY ARM right this moment (this is killing me), and I have wildly and without thought uploaded music to it at random and wandered around places singing while wearing a jacket to hide the player so people would think I was insane.

Ookay, so only one person, and okay, she didn't look at me, but you know, when someone is singing Dixie Chicks Travelling Soldier for no reason, off-key, while dogs howl, glass breaks, and children scream for the safety of their ears? Yes, she thought I was insane. Oh yes, she did.

I'm disgustingly gleeful.

Child went with sister to visit sister's future inlaws with FSN1 and FSN2 (step niece and nephew, it was getting kind of long to write that out), which was oh so cool, as I sat down, WITH PLAYER, using it gratuitiously (man, my battery bills are going to be high) and wrote. Just--wrote.

Finally, everything damn well *clicked*. None of this jogging around snippeting at multiple WiPs and giving myself a headache and being frustrated. No. Clickery everywhere. Zone type clickery.

And you know, I don't even care that if it sucks. Because, finally, rezoned. This is happiness.

[livejournal.com profile] zarah5 also made me intensely, disgustingly happy, as she posted Triangular. You should read this. It's beautiful, it's Zarah, and this, THIS is not subtle stalking, dammit. I forgot. *grins*

Mood? Good. Seriously, I'm watching for birds to start singing over my computer or something.

*singing Somewhere Out There off-key*
Saturday, June 7th, 2003 12:49 am

(no subject)

Five Ways Clark Kent Didn't Get Laid by Celli. Tell me you aren't in love with her. Go ahead. Just try. Because whoa doggies, does Clark get out there. Whee! All are good. Some are surprising. And man, the hotness never ends. Go Celli!

I'm random AND wired AND high on chocolate. I love Nestle. I swear, it can almost make up for anything. Even the tooth sitch.

Since a few people want to know why I friended them, I'll start now while I have time and a lot of good vibes. And also off the cuff, like, first impressions wise.

Okay, here we go.

[livejournal.com profile] celli Okay, I'm not sure of the original reason I friended you, though I think--*think*--it was during my SV blitz of reading everyone who wrote something I liked. However, that's not the make or break for friending. I liked your LJ. *grins* It's strange, I know, but when someone friends me or I find someone interesting, I usually try and make time to read two weeks worth of their LJ to see what kind of person they are, what they do, how they think, etc. And I really, really loved your LJ--upbeat, interesting, fun, with all these little slices of life in the fannishness. And I dearly love your work--seriously, it's so good and so consisent and you do really unusual things, and it makes me want to keep up with you. After we started chatting, it just became--more focused. *grins* I like you, therefore, I shall read your journal daily. Perhaps several times a day, even.

[livejournal.com profile] wubba -- *grins* This I remember, since it was relatively recent. I'd JUST decided not to friend anyone else for a few months, since I was having trouble keeping up, and then I stumbled across a link to something--oh, a few weeks before. That I'd MISSED. And you know, intentions, whatever, I had to friend immediately. I really do enjoy your LJ a lot, and it's--I want to say soothing, but that sounds really dumb. It's just nice to read it. Relaxing? You're just fun. And I really, really like fun.

[livejournal.com profile] kernzelda -- okay, I went to your LJ after you friended me--I can't remember how long after, so don't ask. And immediately, of course, forgot to do my two week read, and then--hmm. I want to say you commented in my LJ, and I looked at it and thought, hmm. I recognize that name! So I went to your LJ and liked it. Though seriously, you don't post enough there. You had interesting comments in my LJ that made me want to keep up with you and see what else you were thinking. Which is, apparently, a lot. Very happy with this.

[livejournal.com profile] lainy122 -- okay, mea culpa, I don't remember why. The two week rule though was in effect if I remember the time period correctly, though. But how about this--I keep reading because you make me laugh a lot. Like Celli, you make your life sound like so much fun and I like reading about it. It's--relaxing just to sit down and giggle with some coffee, you know? And this title Hey, I've been turned into a cow. Can I go home? for an entry? How the hell would I ever be able to stay away? Of course, I can't. But yes, for all those reasons.

[livejournal.com profile] weredonit your username. *grins* No, not that. Well, I don't think so, anyway. *thinks* Your icon? No, hold on, let me think. *grins* I like your take on fandom when you feel like it. I've never seen you be malicious at any time to anyone. And I wanted to get to know you, in that LJfannish way, so LJ was the perfect place to do so. You have this gift of snark that just does good things for me.

[livejournal.com profile] dijianna -- hmm. Okay, I remember because you posted in my LJ in comments, and I went to your LJ while surfing to check out what you were up to. I simply loved your recs journal--good reading! yay!--but I also found your thoughts engaging enough to want to follow along, just to see where you'd go. I'm such a sucker for interesting, provoking thinkers.

[livejournal.com profile] valentinemichel - I remember this. Again, relative recentness. Yay! I was looking at your work in Level Three, actually, and then noted that someone by that name was in LJ--I think you had friended me. Interested, I went to check it out, and lo! It was the writer! So okay, not so much a huge Clexer, but you wrote so well. And your posts amused me hugely. You also think a lot, and I like people who do that. In comments in my LJ, you left really thought-provoking stuff that really got me thinking. And I like that, too. And seriously, that bend toward the dark? Does good, good things to me. Few writers do it well and consistently at the same time, but your take is so--unusual. It kept my attention riveted. Even if I didn't think I'd agree with the characterization normally, your stories reconciled me to it. That make sense?

[livejournal.com profile] fox1013 *grins* Remember when we met in chat? I just barely recall, but I thought you were cool there, and I liked you, therefore, I friended you. And I never, ever find you boring. You like to rant, but it's not ever the kind of stuff that makes me feel like you're being militant or agenda-izing. They're cool to read. And I like you. *g* I love how your mind works--the most bizarre tangents, the most interesting and strange posts, seriously, it's sometimes hard to look away. Muppets, I ask you! MUPPETS! *G*

Okay, more later. Must think of porn. Porn. Porn. NEED it.
Friday, June 6th, 2003 07:47 pm

teeth and things

Of course I'd chip my tooth on Friday! Of course. You know, an hour after every dentist with sense is home and laughing wildly, because seriously, in a former life, I must have pissed off vast cohorts of dentists to have the dental issues I have.

Flossing, which I am beginning to suspect was primitive man's way of showing worship to Dentists, considering how often they espouse it, is moving up to four times a day. Yes, I am going to look moronic in the lady's room at work, but seriously, MY FRONT TOOTH.

Okay, it doesn't look nearly as bad as I think it does. No one noticed until I pointed it out, but I notice. My lip notices. My lip keeps getting scratched on it, and it hurts, and it makes me gripey. My lip hurts, I am gripey, not the tooth hurts and my lip is gripey.

Can you tell I'm having some serious trouble sleeping?

*sighs* Bad week. Hell, bad month.

In other late breaking news, I have work tomorrow again. The nice thing is, I am making comp time nicely. The bad thing is, it's WORK. Plus Child's t-ball practice. Plus at some point, I need to go shopping (and wow, I love being able to say that, 'need') and get a few more outfits for work and God, do I need a haircut and an MP3 player.

What? Yes, I NEED one. I want mobile music.

However, like all really lousy times, silvery lining. Actually, a black and red lining.

lookie, lookie! )
Edited The Great Gay Sexathon that [livejournal.com profile] rageprufrock and I are working on erratically. I've noticed that if I don't try to concentrate too hard, I can keep going. Finally got four pages of Arkham completely clean and together, though the rest is still disassembled in email I sent myself from work. It's odd. Like The Yard, so to speak, Arkham works best written in snippets and ended quickly--when I figured that out, it started smoothing out. Devin, btw, who I'm cowriting with, has written some GOOD stuff here. *grins* I keep a hard copy at work to inspire me.

And you know, leaving that around my computer probably wasn't the brightest idea since they're doing upgrades this weekend. *thinks* Well, huh. If they read it, they'll be surprised.

Next week--training for the brand new interface system that replaces the one we have now. It's pretty, Windows-like instead of DOS-like, and pretty cool to use.

Totally gratuitous entry here. I'm still catching up on my friendslist.

But, recs. Just one. Because it is GOOD.

[livejournal.com profile] box_of_serial continues to completely enchant me. Alex and Julian are almost painfully hot together. Dear God, are they hot. And so much fun. And so much plot. So much first-seasony. I adore Liv. I really do.

*sighs* Must find porn. Now. *stomps foot*
Tuesday, June 3rd, 2003 09:47 pm

so very random

I think I'm collecting--scribbles. They're too long to be drabbles, too incomplete to be stories yet, too--addictive to stop writing them. And they're all like, three pages and then STOP, which is a level of frustrating that I had no idea existed. Part of it is my attention span, I think. I haven't been able to focus very well lately. I get far enough for me to not want to discard the storyline, then my head wonders off into a completely different place and it's. Well. Weird. Probably doesn't help that we're still short two in the front at work, so I'm exhausted, but that's never been a problem before when I want to write.

*sighs* Arkham and The Yard are doing the same thing for the most part. Lots of pieces that I need to assemble and every time I start, I think, oh, but I need THIS. Gah.

god, this is embarassing )


Gotham Underground by Dana. I enjoyed this a LOT. I love Lex. I love Bruce. I warmed up to Clark quickly. *hugs Clark* Nice plotline, creepy, and fun to read. And well, yes, hot, too. Mmm.

The Enemy Within by jett. No spoilers. Read it straight through. Trust me on this one, it's best that way. Now.

The Scientific Method by Lenore. Hee! Sequel to Asset Management, Clark and Lex ponder alien--setbacks. Not that this can't be overcome with a little research.

Yes. This makes me happy. mmm.

Christmas, v.2 by zahra. This is so cute it just hurts in a good, good way. *sighs happily* Love it.

Distant Lands by Beth. Fourth in the series, links to the first three in the entry. Clexy goodness. This one involves chocolate. And I worship the ground she walks on.

Mmm. Good ficness everywhere. Re-read my hardcopy of Manifest Destiny by Livia today, teh one I printed out and carry around for emergencies. What kind of emergency, I don't know, but wouldn't it just be tragic if there WAS some kind of CLex related emergency and I was caught unprepared?

I am so a Girl Scout.
Okay, so this won't be scintillating monologue, but I want to later show this to Child to remind him about the sacrifices I've made on his behalf. Because today, man, did I earn the title Greatest Mom Ever. Or at least, Greatest Lazy Mom Ever. I SHUCKED my dislike of outdoor sports, TOSSED ASIDE my hatred of bright, wholesome sunlight, DISCARDED my diffident reaction to far too many people wearing really inappropriately tight clothes, and dropped into the masses of civilazation that just, frankly, scare me.

Okay, so I'm melodramaing, a little. You try being calm after sitting in the sun for two hours wishing for your own death. However, highlights.

Child is the last to bat. Very cute in little green shirt, shorts, and old shoes.

(Sidenote--buy child hideously expensive shoes so as to make other parents feel inadequte. Seriously, how many six year olds NEED eighty dollar Nike's to play baseball, I ask you? Apparently, a lot of them. Well, dammit, mine does now. Oh yes, materialism rules.)

Okay, anyway. Child was only one other than Short Haired Blonde Girl who wore shorts, as other suited up in Real Baseball Pants. One might say, aww, and yes, I was tetchy and yes, feeling abusive and inadequte as a parent and human being, until I noted that every other team with sense was wearign some variation of shorts with the weather climbing into the one fifties or so and the eggs we were all frying on the sidewalk becoming burned.

Me? Snarky? You think?

Anyway, child steps up to plate, coolly and not terribly worried about the hundred (fifties?) of eyes resting on him. Little hat perched on his head, over which the hitters hardhat sat. No, really, this killed me. Being a prodigy, of course, he hit that ball RIGHT off the tee, and proceeded--

--to run RIGHT to third base.

You know, the OPPPOSITE of first.


My sister's theory is, he's still confused about being a leftie in a world of righties. Mine is, he was bored and wanted to entertain the crowd. Mom just thinks he wasn't paying attention. Any of these would do. Half way there, Child does a U turn and makes for first base, where he was, indeed, most decidedly out.

But did that stop him? Hell no. Child mosies onto second, while all of us watch in a kind of wonder, then makes for third. He comes into home plate cool as a cucumber, glances around, then trots back to the dugout while I, his inadequte mother, tries to recover from the hernia caused by laughing so hard I lost my lemonade.

This rocked.

Child's outfield time was, apparently, very boring--I don't blame him. I mean, nothing was going far past the pitcher, so Child entertained himself by kicking up the red dirt, crouching down to study it, sifting it through his glove, and letting it fall in little clouds. Over and over again. Small children hit balls and every so often, Child looked up to check out how things were going, but that dirt? Fascinating stuff, apparently.

Second time at bat: Coach Who Used to Go to High School With Me lines Child up correctly and talks to him, then backs off a few steps. Coach says something to Child, who then turns and points toward first base earnestly. We assume he was assuring that Child now understood that yes, it's called First Base for a reason.

Child hits the ball and runs for first. Stops there to contemplate the wonders of nature whilst other Small Ones fumble with the ball like a hot potato. Child considers second. Ball continues to be fumbled. Child takes the chance and mosies--no one sane would call this running--for second.

This pattern continues.

There were only two innings, no actual scoring, but they all have fun. Immortalized on video tape and pictures that eventually, I'll upload.

Me-sunburned, cranky, exhausted, but see? Apparently, Child can make even baseball fun. Who knew?


Protect and Serve by Sarah T. If you only read one Mercy-character story in your life, you should read this one. A fascinating, beautifully written view into the mind of one of Lex's bodyguards--it's unlike anything I've read before, and the tragedy is understated, elegant, and thought-provoking as hell. Possibly the best use of a semi-OC (since Mercy is comic canon) that I've read yet. Once again, Sarah blows my mind, but she does it with class.

Getting to Know You by ingrid. The sheer creepiness of Red!Clark here is marvelous--kidlike, maniacal, dark, vicious, and amoral by turns and at the same time. Post-Exodus, very spoilery, and extremely well-written. I'm not getting over this one anytime soon.

A Touch of Mercy by dolimir. I thought this was very sweet. And I liked Clark here. Heh. *pets Clark*

I need more to read. *sighs* And more music recs. Something. Gehr. Which is my new variation of Geh. I'm sure someone's used it before, but that's okay, and isn't that silent h just so pretentious? *G* Also, need chocolate. Soonish.
Original Entry Date: 5/30/2003, 23:11
Backdated Entry Date: created 8/20/2007, 15:37, partial copy of privatized entry.

T-ball, second practice yesterday. On Sunday, first one, recognized one of the coaches as a guy I went to school with, two years my senior.

He's married. With three daughters.

What. The. Hell.

I'm telling you, it's the normal things that screw around with my head the most. I can deal with growing up myself, because I'm in complete denial about the fact and like it muchly. But someone who used to SCARE me in high school? Not so much. Grrr. My sister couldn't help but remark on his tan and his ass. I'm thinking, is he going to make fun of my hair?

Yep, that's me, all kinds of piles of strangeness.

In more interesting news, child is definitely a lefty. This despite the fact that he writes with his right hand at school (I suspect he's been trained that direction, since his handwriting is still pretty bad even for his age, while his left hand is still better but he acts confused using it). As an aside, it IS funny--since Child learned to draw, he's tended to use both, changing hands as one of them tires. Practical kid. But he's almost always shown a decided preference for physical activity on the left side--throwing, catching, etc.

Anyway, my sister's fiance, who DOES play baseball, was the first to note that while Child threw with his left hand best, he tended to bat from either side, but backwards--using a leftie position on the right side, and a rightie on the left. Sort of. SisterFiance thinks that part of that is observation--everyone he knows and has met and played with is right handed, so he's trying to model. It's cute. I understand this could slow him down should he pursue a professional career, but well. Cute.

Teeth hurt. Want dentist. Seriously overworked, as one of us is on vacation and another is in training. Scary numbers of people with smart questions, but several with really, really, really stupid ones. Want my mommy and a pony. Would settle for someone who loves me to write me porn.

The Yard is progressing. Unlike before, I'm plotting first because my margin of error is very, very small, and well. I'm not good at plot. It's not my natural forte. Romance, sex, love, death, that sort of thing, yay! But worldbuilding? Huh. Anyway, my apologies for being weird. I'll direct you to cool people who are not weird and who are brilliant to entertain you.

[livejournal.com profile] box_of_serial by Livia, where lives Altville, updated regularly. Oh yummy.

[livejournal.com profile] rageprufrock with numerous WiP's she updates nicely.

[livejournal.com profile] selling_out where Jessica and co are creating a fabulous universe.

I want a pony now.

Another State of Jenn in Fandom--this is basically how I keep progress on current activities.

lalala nothing to see here, lalala )

Anyway, as I don't have The Yard tonight, since I want to finish this particular curve and make sure it works before I start posting again....

(original entry privatized, story can be found on my webpage under the title Looking Glass
T-ball, second practice yesterday. On Sunday, first one, recognized one of the coaches as a guy I went to school with, two years my senior.

He's married. With three daughters.

What. The. Hell.

I'm telling you, it's the normal things that screw around with my head the most. I can deal with growing up myself, because I'm in complete denial about the fact and like it muchly. But someone who used to SCARE me in high school? Not so much. Grrr. My sister couldn't help but remark on his tan and his ass. I'm thinking, is he going to make fun of my hair?

Yep, that's me, all kinds of piles of strangeness.

In more interesting news, child is definitely a lefty. This despite the fact that he writes with his right hand at school (I suspect he's been trained that direction, since his handwriting is still pretty bad even for his age, while his left hand is still better but he acts confused using it). As an aside, it IS funny--since Child learned to draw, he's tended to use both, changing hands as one of them tires. Practical kid. But he's almost always shown a decided preference for physical activity on the left side--throwing, catching, etc.

Anyway, my sister's fiance, who DOES play baseball, was the first to note that while Child threw with his left hand best, he tended to bat from either side, but backwards--using a leftie position on the right side, and a rightie on the left. Sort of. SisterFiance thinks that part of that is observation--everyone he knows and has met and played with is right handed, so he's trying to model. It's cute. I understand this could slow him down should he pursue a professional career, but well. Cute.

Teeth hurt. Want dentist. Seriously overworked, as one of us is on vacation and another is in training. Scary numbers of people with smart questions, but several with really, really, really stupid ones. Want my mommy and a pony. Would settle for someone who loves me to write me porn.

The Yard is progressing. Unlike before, I'm plotting first because my margin of error is very, very small, and well. I'm not good at plot. It's not my natural forte. Romance, sex, love, death, that sort of thing, yay! But worldbuilding? Huh. Anyway, my apologies for being weird. I'll direct you to cool people who are not weird and who are brilliant to entertain you.

[livejournal.com profile] box_of_serial by Livia, where lives Altville, updated regularly. Oh yummy.

[livejournal.com profile] rageprufrock with numerous WiP's she updates nicely.

[livejournal.com profile] selling_out where Jessica and co are creating a fabulous universe.

I want a pony now.

Another State of Jenn in Fandom--this is basically how I keep progress on current activities.

lalala nothing to see here, lalala )

Anyway, as I don't have The Yard tonight, since I want to finish this particular curve and make sure it works before I start posting again....

ClexBrothersFic, more )
Monday, May 26th, 2003 01:02 pm

(no subject)

Following Standard Lemming Procedure and doing the Meme. Because, a.) I have the day off and b.) arkham just kicked my ass (Dev, Clark's a hugely insane brat, you know and c.) I really don't have anything to do.

So hmm.


Writer you most wish wrote your genre or OTP

[livejournal.com profile] cesperanza, Mustang Sally, Darkstar, Bishclone.

[livejournal.com profile] taraljc with doubles -- because I would love to see her try Clark/Lex. I think she'd do some seriously unusual things with the characterizations than most of us do.

There's like, entire FANDOMS of people I'd like to transplant over. But one I know never will until I re-enter het is Dangermom, because I love how she characterizes. Dammit. Depressing.

There SHOULD be a question on who you'd drag back to your fandom despite the fact they got away and MAKE them stay--that would be Te, Merry, Julad, Mako, Lori, shallot (oh damn, would I pay for this one), Maude M, elynross, Kassie and Lar, Maygra, Kellie Matthews, Brancher....

I'd probably bliss out and never be seen again. But mmm. Worth it.

*looks to wish-list* Anyone want to give me these for Christmas? *hopeful*

Writer you did a dance of joy when you got feedback from

Te. Like, literally on this one. Basingstoke. Merry. Livia. Julad. *thinks* Diebin and Donna in X-Men movieverse. Everyone in Voyager.

Writer you would read pretty much anything they wrote

Te, Bethy, Jane St. Clair, RivkaT

Writer you admire from afar/would love to get feedback from

Jane St. Clair. You mean like a wishlist? *flushes* Trust me, my list is neurotic in the extreme.

Writer(s) who have most influenced your style in some way

Wow, that one's a no-brainer. Te-dominant. Bishclone for my early X-Men work and some of my later SV. Bethy and Victoria. Most recently Pru and Koimistress.

Writer you most want to meet and chat fic with

All of them. This isn't a short list.

Writer you most want to meet and chat smut with

Anyone who writes NC-17 that I've liked. It's a very long list. I mean, really long.

And finally, along the "bulletproof kink" (TM Te) lines, story that still turns you on no matter how many times you read it

Past Grief and Incarnadine. Have never been able to burn those out. Don't WANT to. For humor, Beth's Babyverse series, because it's just so damn good.


*looks at list* Huh.


Koi decides I need to be organized

Talked last night. Asked me questions. Uncomfortable questions. Tell me about this AU, jenn! What's the backstory?

Jenn: I don't know.

Koi: When did they conquer? What's Kal like? What are the Kryptonians like? How do Other!Lex and Kal know each other? Do they know each other?

Jenn: ....

Koi: *pokes* Tell me about Metropolis!

Jenn: You want me to build an entire AU world in chat, don't you?

Koi: That's a really good idea. Go right ahead.

Sort of like that, but there was more speculation on what I wanted to do as opposed to what would actually work. There was suggestions and backstory, so you know? I may not be able to move forward in plot, but damned if I don't have VERY weird backstory going on. I actually opened the chat this morning to read it and thought, wow. This is--really complex. Strangely fun. Requires flashbacks, if I can keep up the energy to write all of this.

It's intersting.

thoughts about WiPs )


Transom by MHC. You'll need several readings, but--wow. Beautiful. Just. And hurty. That too. No spoilers. I'm not sure I'd know how to spoil it even if I wanted to, though.

Where You Are by Caro and Shellah. Oh wow. Just LOVELY. *sighs* Just the right amount of sweetness and newness and bittersweet. I loved every second. *hugs both*

Laid Bare by Bethy. Hot. *grins* Very, very, very hot. *loves Bethy*

Anger Management by Lenore. Oh GOD. Thank you Silverkyst for reminding me. This is SO good. And so funny. And yeah. I think so, considering the pictures. *grins* Hee. And very hot, did I get around to saying that? Oh yes.

Drugs of Choice by carlanesses. Drabbles and an intersting plotline to go with them. Very nice to read. More now, chica. *pokes*

Leaning by ingrid. I liked Clark so much in this. Very lovely view of him. Hmm. It's quiet, and sweet, and very gentle, and well, made my day brighter, somehow.

The Restraint of Beasts by penelope z. She knows how to make it hurt, doesn't she? Poor Clark. Poor, poor Clark.

Tertium Quid by RivkaT. You must read it. It's Lana, with all her weaknesses used as strengths and wow. That was disturbing as hell. It's Lex and Lana and Lana and Clark and all of them and none of them. You should read RIGHT NOW.

And now shall find something else to procrastinate with. Maybe make paperdolls. Hmm.


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  • If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
    . -- Unknown, BTS List
  • That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying,
    We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
    Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
    -- pricklyelf on why Lex goes bad, LJ
  • Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me;
    I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
    -- Teague reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones", LJ
  • Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?

    Jenn: Because you are an addict.

    Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.

    Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.

    Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.

    Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
    -- hwmitzy and seperis, 12/24/2003, AIM
  • I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
    -- anonymous, 2/17/2004, AIM
  • In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
    -- silverkyst, 3/25/2004, AIM
  • Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing

    Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
    -- eleveninches and anonymous, 4/2/2004, LJ
  • silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.

    silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.

    silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.

    Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
    -- silverkyst and seperis, 1/25/2005, AIM
  • You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
    -- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years, 3/15/2005, LJ
  • Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
    -- Summerfling, on shower sex, 7/22/2005, LJ
  • It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
    -- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit, 2/7/2006, LJ
  • Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
    -- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny, 4/13/2006, LJ
  • Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
    -- deadlychameleon, on class, 9/1/2007, LJ
  • If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
    -- JRDSkinner, Twitter

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