Things that are way too unsettlingly true:

Entirely Covered In Your Invisible Name by wordstrings, Sherlock, Sherlock/John, which yes, this is a rec, but for the record, I just twitched through the second part on the second re-read having a moment of profound connection with an earworm of a song.

My worst one in memory--God, so strangely appropriate--was the chorus of Fallout Boy's "Sugar, We're Going Down"; just the chorus and two lyrics in the middle of the second part. Four hours. It did not fucking end. Hour one, I was interpreting it saying for me to kill my computer with my stapler, which is not exactly unreasonable all things considered; by hour four I had to sing the fucking thing straight through because listening to it wasn't enough to get rid of it and I no longer actually cared about dignity or, to be honest, the sanctity of human life.

I think that worked, if I remember correctly, but while reading the fic, all I could think was there is a pharmacy two blocks away, will this work? and being really hopeful because it's best to be prepared for these things; not like it can't happen again. As it turns out, no, shooting up liquid oxy, anti-psychotics, and LSD will not help, even a little, and sure, you could say, fanfic is not a manual on how to deal with impending psychosis via Fall Out boy, and ooh, how easy it must be for you when you don't carry the memory of I'll be your number one with a bullet; a loaded god complex, cock it and pull it until you wondered if that wasn't a metaphor but instructions from space or perhaps fruit juice boxes.

The really bemusing part is that I have no idea how to shoot up without stabbing the needle through my arm; when I get my blood drawn, it's a multistick production and sometimes requires a second person when the first goes to have a rage blackout in the bathroom (last checkup before surgery; really reassuring). I'm not saying that would have stopped me (I would have just held a pharmacy hostage in the name of Fall Out Boy after walking there in four inch heels--the apocalypse wouldn't have stopped me) but now I'm thinking, I should learn? Just in case.

...oh please, like you wouldn't. Four hours. Six hours, we'd have a new religion sweeping the nation right now with me trying to find a technical virgin for a workable messiah, or Wal-Mart for a very realistic looking facsimile thereof. Read the lyrics. It's in there.

I was getting together a rec post for Sherlock and AIRPS, and then realized I couldn't find this one--and I can't believe I didn't mark it correctly when I bookmarked it--and it's kind of driving me crazy.

It's Sherlock BBC, Sherlock/John, with Sherlock as asexual, they have sex and Sherlock really doesn't like it, but he does like the cuddling and snogging bits. Sherlock POV, very sweet--well, this is Sherlock, so sweet for Sherlock. I know there are several good ones in the fandom, so if you also want to rec some, that would be nice as well. I love the porn, but this is the first fandom I've been in where asexual romanticism is very much a genre and it's been fascinating to read it. I think I've hit most of them, but I'm totally open to re-reading.

Anyway, a few of the current recs. You have probably already seen these, but I'm okay with that.

AIRPS

NOT UPDATED YET GOD WHY - Starstruck by akavertigo, Adam/Kris, AU. I am not crying or anything, for the record (yes I plan to keep this up indefinitely.)

Paying the Rent by astolat, Adam/Kris, AU. Its' literally the sweetest, fluffiest, most adorable rentboy fic ever. It also hits like, most of my kinks that don't involve sharp objects and guns, and is as warm as caramel melting off a spoon. Daww. Oh Kris. Only you.

Through the Storm We Reach the Shore by stickmarionette. Gorgeous, long exploration of Kris, Adam, relationships, and Kris being admirably ruthless.

Always the Best Friend by jeyhawk, Adam/Kris, Kris/Brad, AU. In which Adam has logical breakdown and Kris gets kind of tired of it. God I love Jeyhawk.

Tightly Knit by jeyhawk, Adam/Kris, AU. A knitting fic. *enchanted* In which Kris owns a yarn and knitting store--YES HE DOES--and Adam learns to knit. To say this makes me squee happily is to seriously understate the case.

rememberingAlly by blue_scribbles, Adam/Kris, highschool AU. This one surprised me when it turned out that the high school au part was not setting or excuse but plot point and done shockingly well. I've read this about--God, thirty times now?--and every time I'm still bowled over by how much the author did with this cliche until I forgot it was a cliche at all. Warnings for character death prior to story beginning and child neglect/abuse. This was just--wow. I feel weird calling it comfort fic, but it really is, in all the best possible ways.

Dreaming Out Loud by jerakeen, Adam/Kris, AU. Oh God, this is everything I love in comfort fic. Kidfic and romance and telephone relationships and just--God. Jerakeen's my go-to when I'm having a bad day anyway--seriously, her fic is long, lush, happy-ending'ed, and filled to the brim with plot, dialogue, romance, and utter sweetness, so like, that's a given--but this one just makes me stupidly happy. Also with cut scenes!

Sherlock

The Death and Resurrection of the English Language by wordstrings, Sherlock/John - you don't need to read the two earlier fics, but it's recommended for context and for the fact it works in new and interesting ways if you have: An Act of Charity and Paradox Suite. This one is Sherlock POV and interestingly stable despite the fact that Sherlock is anything but. A fascinating view of what goes on in his head as well.

And You're The Prize by giddygeek, Sherlock/John. Mycroft kidnaps John to hurry the Sherlock/John UST up a bit. Mycroft is a fangirl. A terrifying, terrifying fangirl.

Kid in a Candy Store by fialleril. Sherlock needs a new riding crop and as there are no bridle stores nearby, he goes to the next best place. With John. Thing is, I can see this happening. Especially with the dildos. Just. Yeah.

Unusual Symmetry by Mresundance, Sherlock/John, asexual romance. It's a very neat encapsulation of their relationship, committed and even romantic but not sexual, and how John and Sherlock go about it.

A Packet of Crisps and a Retcon Pill by jinxed_wood, gen, crossover with Torchwood. I felt bad for Gwen and the rest of it--yeah. I can see this. Sherlock's observation skills--and for that matter, his interrogation skills--are really in evidence.

That Thing You Like by Miss Pamela, Sherlock/John. John goes home for Christmas with Sherlock and stops arguing about whether they're together or not. I like John's POV, and I especially like how he works this out through the story. And the pub thing. God did I love the scene in the pub. And for the record, yeah, Sherlock's mom scares me. Kinda see where Mycroft gets it.

Let Me Kiss You by out_there, Sherlock/John. This kind of started as an escalating kissing situation, with John not entirely sure what's going on but he seems okay with it anyway. Also, Sherlock is not subtle. Nice long read.

Talk About the Blind Leading the Visually Challenged and The Game Is On. It Is So On. by pforte, Sherlock/John. Okay, besides being a good ship fic and being very good with the characters, also hot and kinky and yeah, read now. Happy.

Pedestrian by vegarin, gen. John and Moriarty before the end of The Great Game. I might have recced this already, but it deserves a second rec; this is one of the best John fics I've read, period, and may be my favorite in the fandom just for how much the author did with this, both establishing John's character and more than that, establishing completely what John and Sherlock are to each other.

This exchange:

"You, Dr. Watson, are assisting me with testing a theory on Sherlock Holmes, who, minds you, despite my best effort - all right, maybe a mediocre effort at best - still remains somewhat of a mystery, which pretty much happens, well, never. And I can assure you, John, you will enjoy this."

Fantastic. John tries not to sound too dubious. "And how much, pray tell, will I be enjoying this trying process, exactly?"

"Oh, very much, I should think. You'll finally be convinced he does, in fact, care for the lives of others, especially for yours." Moriarty is mockingly benign. "You did want to know, yes?"

Something in John goes cold. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Either Sherlock will waver at the sight of you, or he won't. Which do you think it will be, John? Wouldn't you like to find out?"

And John's eventual answer to it. This story is, for me, the John character analysis. Wry, witty, practical, resigned, and determined all at once. And so very real.

Untitled Hotness by ladyflowdi - um. Hot. Kitchen sex. Wall sex. Table sex. With butter. Go.

Intemperance by basingstoke, Sherlock Holmes movieverse, gen - written in first person John Watson with some of the best use and control of Victorian and first person language I've seen in any fiction, fan or pro. Holmes comes to Watson and Mary for assistance. This is another one that giving away anything more will take away from the reveal of the story, so if you're unsure, please check the headers at the link first. It's not just a unique story, but a unique way of telling it, and in a way that matches the pastiche of the era and the movie very well. And I love how it flows together; the very narration makes it feel possible, likely, and very honest.

In other words, really, read this one.

While I'm here, another couple of recs.

Rough Edges series by basingstoke, Sherlock (BBC), mostly gen, hilarious. First two are also a crossover with Black Books. The Holmes family is hilarious and so very terrifying. And they give their children really unsettling names. Three stories in the series, all awesome.

Pedestrian by vegarin, Sherlock (BBC), gen, set directly before the climax of The Great Game. This is, by far, one of the best John Watson's I've read and he and Moriarty's conversation is a field of landmines and unexpected, shocking insights.

The Paradox Suite by wordstrings, Sherlock (BBC), Sherlock/John - this one has been recced like, half the places I was sent, I think, and rightly so. I just love this for all the views of John and Sherlock and being in love with someone that sometimes who never really pretends he's really human and that's pretty much okay.