seperis | x-men first class: i say this with love (Reply)

It's just, okay, see, Erik. And People Skills. Which he, let's all admit it, lacks.

This is one of those times that Erik's life of desperate revenge needed remedial classes in People: How To Recruit to the Dark Side wisely. Because I want to say, when I think Darth Vader could have given you better tips--think about that one--you are doing it wrong.

Good Times to Recruit: when missiles are bearing down on you, when the inevitability of death by human is, um, inevitable, right before, during, or after a truly spectacular orgasm, while sharing tender, life-altering memories of your mother.

Bad Times to Recruit: when one is cradling the recruitee who you just recently tortured by forcing him to endure being stuck in Shaw's body while you killed him, really slowly and gruesomely, with a coin (I know you were wearing the helmet and everything, but the audience watched and let me tell you, Charles was not really taking that death-by-proxy thing well at all, what with the screaming and sobbing and intense horror and pain), and then deflected a bullet into his back that will leave him paralyzed. (Note: he wasn't even bitching about the death thing once the missile business started. YOU WERE IN. JESUS.)

Erik, I am with you, okay? The movie was all about showing the One Right Way doesnt' necessarily exist, and you had sympathy on your side; God knows, I am there. I am saying, better idea--don't leave the recently-shot failed recruitee alone on the beach to find out he's paralyzed. Take him to a hospital.

It's like you never read a goddamn romance novel in your life. HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF H/C? ARE YOU HIGH?

Just, okay, I get your people skills aren't up there with legend, but I'm going to share a secret; Charles was a pretty sure thing. Future note: when one is recruiting, a.) less rhetoric, more concern for their spinal cord and b.) choose your battlefield.

P.S. Also not helpful? Running off with his sister. Just. Go watch the Star Wars trilogy (when it is released in a few years) for some helpful tips on What To Do When Your Recruitee Is Stubborn (hint: lightning is also not useful. In fact, if Darth Vader or the Emperor does it, just write it down as Do Not Do. This will help. Promise).

This has been a message from the side of the force who thinks Erik and Charles' Zany Adventures Taking Over the World would be the greatest thing ever.

I have a seven page essay on the movie I haven't finished so far. Yeah. I--find it weird.

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BTS List
That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
AIM, 3/25/2004
Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
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Twitter, 6/19/2019
Adding for Mastodon.
-- Jenn, traceback
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x-men first class: i say this with love

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