Okay, so of all the times to get curious about this, but I am, so there.

So I like stories that take narrative and structural risks--even when they fail, you can't help but admire the fact the author tried anyway, and I grade on a curve when the difficulty level is high, so I'm a lot more forgiving when I can see the author is trying something non-standard.

So, give me the stories you've read that were narratively/structurally/grammatically risky--unreliable narrators, time switches, unusual uses of pov and tense, experimental, whatever. It doesn't have to have succeeded perfectly, and it doesn't have to be the best thing ever, but it intrigued you to see what the author was trying to do and how it worked.

Posting a few--well, several--examples here of some of my favorites; I will be adding to this as I remember more, since from a glance at my rec list, there are several I need to re-read to remember what was unusual about them.

( eighteen recs: star trek voyager, x-men movieverse, x-men, x-force, smallville, queer as folk, stargate: atlantis, dracula 1931, more )

( recced by other people: dr. who )

Okay, so I got many more responses than expected, making a short link directory to recs by specific people and the fandoms represented. You all are kind of awesome. Below cut, reccer's name, link to the comment, and the fandoms represented for now. So far, I think I have new reading for like, a while off of these.

Links in Comments

alchemise, link, Supernatural

cofax7, link one and link two, Stargate: Atlantis, Supernatural, and Stargate: SG1

evildrem, link, Highlander

green_grrl, link, Due South

ineptshieldmaiden, link one and link two, Star Trek Reboot, Merlin, Tortall, Twelfth Night, Narnia, and The Handmaid's Tale

janedavitt, link, Stargate: SG1

perverse_idyll, link, Harry Potter and Stargate: Atlantis

queenklu, link, Due South

rydra_wong, link one and link two, Stargate: SG1 and Stargate: Atlantis

silviakundera, link, Popslash, Torchwood, Supernatural, Skins, Heroes, Harry Potter

soul_cake_duck, link, Generation Kill

telesilla, link, Stargate Atlantis

tricksterquinn, link, Torchwood and Dr. Who

trystings, link, Stargate: Atlantis

unovis_lj, link, Highlander

wild_force71, link, Stargate: Atlantis

ETA: Yes, I still want recs. There are a million fandoms! We need more experimentation in fanfic. Encouraging this is a good thing. Will add them to this entry as time permits. Updated to all current comments with templemaker on LJ and rydra_wong on DW.

Quick thanks to templemaker for a current link to mintwitch's Word of the Day.

And of course, to everyone who dropped by to add a rec or five, because seriously, this? Is awesome.

In the words of burnitbackwards:

IF YOU HAVE NOT READ VALERIE'S NEW FIC BRIAN KINNEY SAVES THE UNIVERSE, THEN WE CANNOT BE FRIENDS, NOR CAN WE SPEAK, NOR WILL I EVER ACKNOWLEDGE YOU AGAIN UNTIL YOU SIGN YOUR NAME IN BLOOD ATTESTING THAT YOU HAVE READ IT AND LOVED IT AND HAVE LEFT VALERIE FEEDBACK TELLING HER HOW SHE IS THE MOST BRILLIANT GENIUS OF ALL TIME.

SERIOUSLY.

Unless you are svmadelyn, who is blackmailing me with Certain AIM Conversations Regarding Somewhere'verse--I still love you! I do! Promise!

Yeah. That was my last ditch attempt to keep on her good side.

Brian Kinney Saves the Universe by valereix And I'm not just saying that 'cause Val is pretty either. It has Brian being hot. And saving the world. And stuff. And seriously, sooo good.

*happy* I love my big gay show. Also using my happy pornographic chair sex icon, removed from a sad retirement. Yay porn!

Long drought, pretty things fall. My God, the pretty things.

C'mon C'mon by throughadoor. Do we want to have her babies? Yes. Right now. 3.08 through 3.10. The hotness is great. The Justin is amazingly written. And I am so in love.

Five By Five by bigboobedcanuck. My other one true love here. She blows my mind. She takes a single comment from Brian and spins it into a beautiful, wonderful, oh so *hot* story. Spoilers through 3.12, and she makes me love first person pov. That is the power she has.

I'm just going over here, to re-read and bask. Amazing.

The sheer cliche in that I find shopping soothing is one of those things that I just hate to admit.

It actually doens't matter what I'm buying--to save my checking account, I raided the grocery store for fruit. Blueberries, bananas, plums, and two kinds of peaches. It helps. Just the act of shopping levels out my moods. It's at its most dangerous at the beginning of the month, when I wander through electronics thinking, hmm, I need a bigger TV. Bills? I need to pay *bills*?

This is one of those times I'm very grateful for the autodeduct function on my account.

However, I did stumble in amusement over the latest and greatest of DVD players. You know, the ones with the filter things that filter out obscene language and sexual situations so anything can be kiddie fare? I started making out lists of movies I'd like to watch with it, just to see what would happen.

I just can't see how you could get anything comprehensible out of Pulp Fiction or Resevoir Dogs. I tried to imagine running QaF on it and giggled so hard the other customers started looking at me oddly. Yes, I know the purpose is to make movies kid-safe, but I'm just not entirely sure what movies that a kid could comprehend would *need* that kind of filtering.

I'm just easy to amuse sometimes.

Personal Tragedy

I stepped on a tack that went smoothly and really painfully through my heel. It was thick, which was first eww, and sharp as hell, second eww, and it was actually hard to get out, let us not even discuss the eww level there. There were little barbs near the point--very, very little barbs, btw, just enough to catch on skin and muscle, and my, that hurt. It also bled copiously, which made it much more interesting. I'll be honest and sick, that the bleeding is kind of soothing. It's distracting from the omgouchouchmotherfuckingtackletmedie thing I have going on with any injury.

I keep forgetting, though, so I keep letting my heel down. It's annoying. And you know, intensely painful, and whatever nerve I hit is like, attached to every nerve in my body. Ouch and ouch.

Whining done. On to interesting things.

Good Cheer

My DVD player came in from Amazon, and I squeed. Oh, how I squeed. Armed with the remote and the first five discs of QaF season one, I sat down to experiment with the buttons and see how to switch between discs. I do not yet have total control, but the learning curve is awesome. It has all kinds of interesting functions for MP3s, VCDs, DVD-RAM, CDs, JPEG's etc. I keep wanting to make a disc of all the vids I've downloaded just to see what I can do with it. It seems to imply something similar to playgroups. The squeeing never ends.

Recs

lierdumoa finished her fantastic leather!porn Leather, in which there is leather, Justin, Brian, and a mindblowing amount of sex. Dear God. The sex. *breathes* Just. You know. GO NOW.

quinn222 wrote a sweet little snippet, Not to Notice, a vaguely post-4.9, and follows up with a sequel, To Notice, oddly sweet, in which everyone quietly deals. It's so lovely, and unsentimental, and incredibly true to the characters. I wish the show could deal this subtly with Brian and the others.

A Presence by soundczech, a relationship framed in pictures. Very lovely.

And there's one really good one that if it would *please* get out of lock? Would totally like to drool over.

*taps fingers* Annnytime.

There are all kinds of things I should be doing, and I'm ignoring all of them and cackling while pressing buttons. *happy*

Vid Recs

I'm still working my way through my massive download the other weekend. Which is reminding me of the joy of subtextual onetrueluv. *sighs* Then altricial, who really *is* like this vid dealer, starts writing in capitals.

Now capitals mean READ RIGHT NOW.

And she said WATCH THIS. But in a much longer way.

So I did.

Stay, B/J. This is a link to the LJ, since direct linking seems rude and well, she needs feedback for this AMAZING WONDERFUL JUSTIN VID by kitkatbyte.

See? Capitals. Totally catch the eye.

Beautiful look at Justin, all in love, and Brian being--well. Brian. It hurts. And chasing it with sisabet's 66 helps. A little.

And keewick, psychically intuiting everyone's desperation for even *more* good vids, released Paperbag, which is all fast and liquid and Brian. And good.

It's raining vids. I am drenched with happy QaFdom. I will wallow, since my last look at my bank account shows that I need to wallow in something.

This would probably be a *really* good time for me to find out I'm actually the daughter of a millionaire who just died without heirs. *sighs*

But I have double VCRs and that means copying tapes. And people who have been threatened with copies of first season QaF need to start to be afraid as soon as I get some blank tapes. Oh yes.

I'm all for pointless entries these days. I had this weird idea of talking about reader intepretation and so forth, but eh. Also, I'm behind in email and answering comments. My apologies on that.

Oohkay, and jcalanthe just reminded me I hadn't answered. *grins* It's like karma, except probably not very much.

goss makes pretty, pretty things.

Very, very pretty, and it's a cover for Standing in the Common Spaces.

It's like magic, what she can do with art. DAMN. Just *damn*.

*****

jainieg is corrupting my morals. Yes, it's true. She's a massive influence for the Dark Side (aka Ethan). All of you following Hostile/Hostel (or is that the other way around?) know this already, but really, it bears repeating. Like, a zillion times.

****

Vids

For kicks, if you haven't, and I can't *imagine* why you haven't, download sisabet's Whiskey For My Men; Beer For My Horses. It is just *so* cool. And never would I ever have guessed that any country song would work, but hey, sisabet is just *that* good. No, really. Funny, hot, and just great.

I have the slowest modem in history. I could get up, *walk* to altricial's house, and get them directly from her computer faster than I can download them. But that's okay, as good things come to those that wait, patience is a virtue, the grass is always greener on the other side, and there's never a bad time for good smut.

Like this.

Fic Recs

The Son of the Dawn by Paul Plesko. I'm never going to get over my terror of first person POV--if you've read what I have in this fandom, you already understand the scarring is pretty much permanent--but Paul keeps excellent control of Brian's voice and tone, so I pretended I'd never read a first person before in QaF and that worked. Post season three--I had some quibbles with some of the wording, but nothing that nail-to-chalkboarded me or anything. And well. It's hot. And also, I'd just like to point out, okay, ouch. But in a good, hot way. I'm not entirely sure he needed to hyphenate some of the words, but hell, I don't have a dictionary with me atm, so not too worried.

It was a test, I thought. A test of ownership. A test of commitment. A test of feelings. If I said "no," then he'd want an explanation... a justification. Why could I seek pleasure elsewhere while denying him the opportunity? And I couldn't explain it, really... I, who valued brutal honesty, couldn't handle gentle honesty. These feelings violated everything I'd believed for the last nine years. "No fetters. No baggage. Travel light." And he was asking me to change that.

I just liked that bit.

Okay. Downloading. Go modem! Go modem! Damn you, *go*.

Updated recs page at http://seperis.illuminatedtext.com/recs.html. It's not all of them, but it's all I could find in fifteen minutes in my LJ, which is all I allowed myself.

And a few new ones I haven't recced before.

Recs

HP

Remedial Potions by Lupercali. Wow. Proof that whining gets you what you want. Lupin and Snape and Sirius, and a love story inside a story that was almost love but couldn't be. Snape is beautifully drawn, and I love the outsider look at the Lupin/Sirius pairing. They're all still young and screwing up and still not quite the people they'll become, but they're so close you can see the echoes. Lupin is equally entrancing in his youth and innate calm that, God, he has to need with Sirius. It's gorgeous. Just absolutely spot-on gorgeous.

QaF

I actually cant' remember if I recced these, though I know I did the one for Julad. But you know, it's a great bit of fun. So. Doing it again.

Physics, Groceries, and the Homosexual Agenda by mintwitch. Oh, this is funny. They go shopping. They meet someone. And Brian is high. And Justin really *does* perform on demand. And did I mention how damn *sharp* the writing is? Because it is.

Busy Week on the Fridge by Julad. Where fic is art and it's so good and so funny. Brian and Justin communicate in the language of shopping. Hehe.

Once Upon a Time by juteux. Wow. Daphnefic. I love when authors remember Daphne's around, and this bittersweet look at a post-third season grocery shopping and an unexpected sight just hurt so much. Not only her bitterness for Justin, but for herself. Highly recommended.

Productive. That's me. *happy*

Now have to go find the *rest* of them. I really, really need to be more organized.

I could just choke altricial. Or hug her. Either/or. I have that stupid song MEMORIZED. I'm sitting there, innocently at work, MP3 player on, doing this entire visualization thing, because dammit, that song just *works*.

*pouts* I want the CD. It's going on my List of Things I Shall Buy When They Officially Announce I Don't Have the Job.

In other news--there is none. No, this is sad, but there isn't. issaro decided that I needed to be challenged. *looks* If I pull this off, man, you owe me cookies. I'm serious. Chocolate chip. The tips of my fingers ached just *thinking* about the amount of typing I'll have to do.

Recs

Because, sometimes, this isn't all about me. It's also about What I Love to Read.

Shayllla fic, lovely, yadda yadda yadda, you know the drill. Because it's *her*.

Oh, did you people know she's multifandom? Check her out.

Shadows 3, actually, almost the best of the three. The tone is consistent throughout, and this Justin--God, I love this Justin. Second person pov. If you have issues with second person, seriously, get over them. This story is worth it.

Also, apparently, misskatherine hid an icon somewhere in my LJ. Must go find. Like an egg hunt, but with icons and not at Easter.

Yeah, I'm so unfunny, but I have a headache that aspirin, ibuprofen, and Law and Order haven't fixed yet. Grrr. I need someone to gripe at. Any takers?

*grumbling*

Just think, angry misery can be *beneficial*. Running on just around two hours sleep, I got up this morning on the side of the bed I like to call Hell, and that's because I slept on the floor.

Because, on a cool night in an air conditioned house? I somehow, miraculously, got overheated. Again. Three hours of twisting, turning, everything, and I *don't* get insomnia like this. At least, I didn't used to. So me and my over the counter drug thing are doing just great, and double dosing at lunch didn't just make me jittery, I hit *mania*.

In that way that should be depressing, it was kind of cool. It figures the only way I can be even relatively happy is when overworked (as Many People called in sick), with a pounding headache, and pretty damn high. I had a blast this afternoon. My control-freak instincts kicked in beautifully, as there was no one to tell me what to do. Honestly, I'd be more ashamed of myself if I was just less *tired*. But not sleepy, apparently. Which, again, if I was less tired? Would *also* freak me out.

Of course, in the middle of this, I had that short-tempered flash of sheer, blinding rage about a rather innocuous email, and God, someone should put me *out* of my misery when I get freaked about email. *sighs*

I'm so in need of cotton candy right now.

Comfort Fic - been recced, been multirecced, but my journal, my wallowing in self-pity. I comfort myself with what works.

I Know What You Wished For by Lane Carson, QaF - because it just makes me happy, happy, happy. This one and Between Love and Hate, the sequel. I *wallow*. At this point, I *deserve* to wallow, since I don't see any cotton candy.

Better by shallott, SV -- still one of my favorite fics of all time. Just subtle and beautiful and so perfectly post-Jitters.

In the Absence by Jane St. Clair X-Force, I think - see, the thing is? Never read the comic book, could probably not pick them out of a line-up, but the entire story is just so perfect it makes me melt. Every. Damn. Time.

Bail by Arabella O'Reilly, QaF -- I just love this one. And the sequels.

I think I should go forth to chat and make someone miserable. Any volunteers? *hopeful*

Things Heard

I love my Austrian copatriots. I do. I am oh so patriotic and spirited and blah-de-blah. But right now? They scare me.

*loves them all*

This, however, does not preclude the feeling that if josselin does not finish scalping Justin really damn soon, I could very well go into decline and die. Just die. Right in the middle of my keyboard. It would be tragic.

Places to Go

Because a.) I'm behind, and b.) I spent my weekend writing Justin trying to avoid getting laid. Don't ask. Really.

The Queer As Folk Grocery Store Challenge. Many authors, many stories, none attributed. Big guessing game of joy and all.

Things I Want to Run Away From aka The Wip Collection

To lower the level of trauma involved, only things I actually think there's a chance in hell I'll finish.

How It's Gonna Be (QaF) -- in which I honestly think I must have been on some low-quality narcotics when I thought this was a *good* idea. Seriously.

This, Too (SV) -- this is actually done! rageprufrock has it. And is Doing Things to it. I'm not sure what that involves, but see? Totally not my responsiblity. Whoo!

Soundless (QaF) -- Pyjamafic for jaymalea Right now, I'm averaging one line every week. Expect it to be done sometime in 2008.

Foray (QaF) -- Daphne/f with velena It's her turn, dammit.

Look and See (QaF) -- Brian/Justin, Brian/Michael, etc. In pieces on my hard drive.

The Rain Gods (SV) -- It's there and it's doing nothing much, but it has the potential to eventually move. I'm still sulking because the crash that took my CD and DVD drivers also took the original first three pages and my memory is for shit.

And some others I've tinkered with, including, surprisingly, The Yard.

NaNoWriMo

Because I am an utter coward and also, because the idea of being disciplined amuses me, I decided to be misskatherine's official NaNoWriMo cheerleader, in lieu of doing anything productive myself. Oddly, she thought this meant giving useful advice.

*sighs* At least she didn't ask me to get out my uniform.

Child Quote

On getting marked down for talking in class:

"My head told me to stop, but my heart told me to keep talking. And my heart's much more important."

This is what I get for letting him watch afterschool specials. That's *it*. Only educationally deficient cartoons from here on out.

I'm going to go sulk about something for a while. I don't know *what* yet, but I'll find something.

God, I'm bored. I'm *looking* for things to peeve me. Any suggestions?

Nothing new with the file cabinet.

Recs

Scrabble Fic by josselin. Heh. Brian and Justin play Scrabble. Cuteness. Very.

Re-Rec

Because I can. I really have nothing better to do. Isn't that just sad? To be creative about it, one per fandom I've been monogamous with.

Queer As Folk

The Color Series by Triskyfic -- see, I did this one an injustice the first time I read it and again when I recced it. I still have problems with the way she themes throughout with color, but that's a personal quirk, and the more I read it, the less I notice it, because it's good. I'm especially attracted to the past/present/future mix she does--you'd think it would be confusing, and it *is*, but in the addictive, right way it's supposed to be. Teasy-like. It's extremely solid, and it's fun, and kano may be my new favorite word.

Smallville

And Dark Our Celebration Was by Hth. See, this is where it's nice when one gets perspective after short periods of time hiding from one's home fandom. I really, really hated this story in every way that can be considered a positive--beautiful writing, dark in that hopeless, deathless way that's like you need to talk yourself off a ledge after, but subtly so. Kind of like an ice pick to just left of the heart, so to speak.

It's hard to explain.

"I don't call it sleeping with you. If this is what you consider a perfectly acceptable sexual encounter then I have to say, I don't think much of the quality of people you've been dating lately."

I just love that line.

*grins* I think I may re-read Immortality next. For those unfortunate few who remember my temper tantrums after *that* one was released, feel free to send scathing email about being discreet in public. God, I miss Grail muchly. *sighs*

Annnyway.

X-Men Movieverse

One that isn't on my page, one that is. Vic gets short-shifted from me most of the time--I *know* her and therefore, the entire contempt of familiarity kicks in, but this is one of my favorite stories by her and in retrospect, one of my favorite re-reads in X-Men, it's so damn timeless. And reminds me I have thirty eight X-Men stories i've kept meaning to add to my page and never have. Crap.

A Harbor in the Tempest by musesfool -- there's a lot to like about this story that has nothing to do with its genealogy, and five pages in, you know it's Casablanca With Mutants, so just go with it. The movie is classic, the story is too. As a mutant-world safety zone, with Logan the cynic and Jeez, poor Jean, it starts off clean and keeps going. Vic does immaculate prose, so you really can just get yourself lost in the story. And you may think you know it, but trust me, you don't. Read it.

A Place by Sandra. I have this hope that I'll run into her again cross-fandom, which considering the rate LJ spreads, possibly isn't too far in the future, or so I can hope.

There's a place.

A place where an old man's voice isn't whispering tenderly when she quietly grieves. Where she can run and the voices aren't shouting after her, in her, telling her there are starved, scared wolves lurking in those dark, hushed forests.

Most writers can't pull off rhythmic, stylized stories brilliantly. Hell, a majority can't pull off readable grammar, but that's not the lecture for the evening. This story is the one, single, shining reason why I actually still believe that any subgenre of fiction can be done brilliantly, because this is one of the most beautiful single pieces of fiction I've read in my life.

I'd quote more, but frankly, there's no way to do it and make it nearly as perfect, as shattering, as it does when read straight through. And that would be *now*, because seriously, this is why X-Men was my addiction for over a year and why I can quote by memory from this one. It's *good*.

Star Trek: Voyager

Ah, I miss you sometimes.

Mirror Images by Dave Rogers. See, I still get chills from re-reading this one. It's simple in-canon fic--gap filler, if you will, reaching across from Vis a Vis through Demon, and for perfect capture character, there's nothing better in the fandom.

Wordlessly, she stood up and strode into the office, where the E.M.H.
sat quietly and discreetly. Tom's mirror image could not hear what
passed between them, but she was back in minutes.

"Listen, whoever - whatever you are." She spoke rapidly, in short,
clipped sentences. "She won't know about the Maquis. Break it to her
gently. Help her through it. She won't know about the Hirogen. She
doesn't need to. And she won't know about Steth. Don't you *ever* let
her find out."

"I don't understand." His face was frowning, but his eyes were bright
with hope.

"The Doc's beamed a sample of my DNA to the surface. She'll be waiting
for you."

"B'Elanna, I...", he stammered, jumping to his feet. "Why? I thought
you hated me?"

"I do." She turned away. "But not that much."

Gets me every time.

What the heck. One more.

Comicdom

And think, I know *nothing* about the fandom or the canon, but whoo, this story...

This Is How by Siarade. Again, when style is done well, I'm pretty much an easy lay, kay? Non standard use of timeline, which I applaud muchly, lovely pov, and this beautiful, intnese examination of grief.

When you talk about the dead, about dead things, talk with someone who knows. People who don't know can't talk about the dead. They expect death to be a jump from alive and vital to cold and empty. Not even a jump; that implies movement, when they expect it to be a snap ì once one way, now the other, a momentary switch that has no levels or gradation.

And the eternal seconds of watching someone die.

Why This Sudden Backtrack

seemag asked what stories scarred you (in a good way), and mentioned Iolokus, which to go with it, HELL YES, but since I wasn't ever even within a breath of being intimately involved with that fandom, I think of it differnetly from a fandom I wrote and participated in. Just the depth of commitment.

Scarring though. That's a weird one. And also kind of funny, since jaymalea asked me last night what my favorite slash story was and I couldn't tell her.

( story blatherings )

Bad headache. Going to bed.

These are basicaly what got me through teh day pre-bed.

The Language of Our Silences by shyllla -- beautiful, subtle bit of Brian and Justin quietness. Completely wonderful.

Brian glares for a moment, and turns toward the kitchen. Justin restrains himself from making a crack about domestic house fags, but that doesn't stop him from thinking it. Loudly. Brian puts away the Cheerios, the coffee, and the produce. His happiness is a subdued hum, inexplicable and inarticulate.

Three Weddings That Never Happened by josselin -- Wow, the sheer NUMBER of things that could go wrong. *grins*

One evening in the bar, when Brian was drunk and tripping and probably in a condition similar to the one he was in when Lindsay managed to convince him to donate for her to have Gus, Melanie convinced Brian to marry her.

Wild Fantasies by valereix Snarky Brian! Know-it-all Justin! Annoying Ted! It's like canon, but funnier!

"Hi," Blake held out his hand, as if he was leading a group therapy session instead of about to be ditched. "We've met before, right?"

"Right. It's good to see you again." Justin returned the handshake with one hand, while palming crotch with the other, ever the polite and efficient young man. Brian couldn't help but feel proud of what a damn good job he'd done raising him. "How are you doing, Ted?"

"He's fabulous," Brian interrupted. He stood up, wrapping one arm around Justin's chest. "Not rushing it, proving it to himself, one day at a time, let's go fuck in the bathroom."

*smiles, then winces*

I miss painkillers a LOT.

Okay, can't rest worth a damn--tired and wired.

So.

New icon.



It's my new moody icon, sorta. I'm sure it says something about the state of my mind, but I don't care.

Recs

I've been falling down here. But then again, how can I be blamed? I didn't know about josselin Thank God these people friend me or I'd be seriously losing out.

Post 3-14 snippet. Totally fun.

Also read these: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

Then there's London's Magnum Load. Happy.

And for some reason, I lost my mind and forgot to mention this one.

The Errand by silviakundera. Oh MAN this rocked. In every kind of way possible. Justin does Michael a favor. Or two.

*****

He got the cell open with shoulder and teeth. "I don't care what you're doing right now, you're giving me phone sex."

"When did you get so *demanding*, Taylor?"

"I've fucking earned it," Justin snarled, "And you don't even want to know what I've been given permission to do to you. I have a list."

*****

Webpages and Livejournals

I'm organizing my friendslist again and trying to separate SV from QaF--mostly because I'm bored and figured, what the hell? It's this or redesign the damn webpage again and I'm not nearly done from the last time, since I hate how my index2 page looks. So far, the only thing I like is the splash. That's sad on a variety of levels.

Also, I forgot--four stories have been added to my webpage: Find Me, Cleaner Than, Five Very Good Reasons Not to Date Luthors, and Show. All were released on LJ but nowhere else, and at this point, I'm sure I had a reason for that, but have no idea what it could have been. Sitting here.

Okay, really will do something productive now. Or take a nap and get this ickiness under control.

(a)...end of Titanic. Right, I know, I'm just a prostitute for the entire industrial-entertainment conglomeration that runs the world and Leonardo di Caprio is the antiChrist, but I. Don't. Care. Watching large ships go down while musicians keep playing and all those people dying? I get a flat thirty minutes of pretty much relentless crying.

Moments that are the whimperiest.

Old people in bed, waiting for the water.

Two kids in bed, waiting for the water.

Captain with his steering wheel, waiting for the water.

Musicians playing, waiting for the water.

You see a theme here?

Though there's this one unintentionally, I'm sure, break-moment where this lady slides on her stomach ALL the way down the Titanic's deck and instead of weeping for her death, I stop and wonder how many splinters she got in her stomach and how uncomfortable that must be right before going on to a watery grave. It's bad enough to drown in freezing water, but imagine all that salt water in those open cuts, stinging! *shivers*

(b) Armageddon. I'll say it before, I'll say it again. The eternal love of Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck's characters is liken unto Romeo and Juliet, but without everyone dying and a lot less in the way of sex. If that entire death thing wasn't hanging over my head, I'd be all over them. Stupid reservations regarding undead sex. Bah. That entire damn movie is a river of woe for me. From the second they start boarding the ship until Bruce dies in a flare of white.

(c) Tarzan, Disney version. I don't even want to hear it. The song and the parents building their little house--gets me EVERY time. I'd blame Elton John and hormones, but I've watched it too many times to keep that kind of excuse on hand. And the mommy ape! Come ON.

(d) Pearl Harbor -- see, prostitute for the entertainment industry, I am totally their market. But all those people banging to get out of the ships? Roosevelt standing up to make the speech at the table? Gah. Hurts.

(e) Anytime I re-read Winston Churchill's speech regarding how England wouldn't ever give up during WW II, and the really embarassing part is, that one happened the first time in class, which got me no points with anyone.

(f) Buffy fifth season finale. Spike's expression. Buffy's speech while falling. This perfect second when you give up and let go. Last ten minutes, I and the kleenex are one. Still does it to me, even now. I was still crying on AIM while chatting with Lena.

(g) Smallville, Ryan dying by inches in that bed.

(h) End of Darkstar's "Save the Last Dance for Me". Every. Fucking. Time. You'd think by now I'd be desensitized, but oh no. Dammit.

There, I've embarssed myself enough for one day.

Rec Correction

Maps and Legends, the wonderfulness that I was assured is finished and being polished AS WE SPEAK, is by Rachel Anton and Laura Blaurosen. My apologies. My only excuse is that I was so desperately grateful for readability I dind't pay attention to, you know, the authors.

To The Siamese Twins, I'm fixing that thing with the link, I swear. See below for explanation on why I haven't yet. *hugs* I'm so sorry.

Bored Out of My Mind

I considered redesigning my webpage again, but then I forgot the new password for the main directory, and I hate editing in WS_FTP. It hates me and also adds little blocks everywhere and everything is in a big paragraph instead of being spaced out correctly. Hate that. And I have actual editing to do! I do!

*sighs* However, I can still uplaod and download without trauma, so....

( cover! yay! )

Recs

I'm still working out the good/bad manners of vid reccing. Feel free to tell me to take it down if you're just terribly uncomfortable.

66 by sisabet. If I could literally boil down everythign I love about QaF into less than five minutes of images, this is what I'd use. It's fantastic.

Battleflag by sisabet. Again. See above.

Fast As You Can by silviakundera. Yep. Took me two days to make it download and my computer cooperate, and I won't waste energy explaining my hatred of my monitor for making everything os damn dark, because completely worth it.

Keep Me by silviakundera I want this song, dammit. Must look. Pretty. The cuddliness is unending.

Eleventh Hour by Mesa. I could swear I read it before it was recced by someone here, but I cant' be sure, and it was good, good, good. Love Justin. Just love him.

isilya gets creative as hell. Justin is thinking along with Michael. Short, sweet, and *true*. Hurts. I'm okay with that.

Whining

Slowly but surely, I'm trying to work my way through Across the Pond. I have a system to keep the trauma to a minimum. If the summary tells me the plotline and ending, I skip. If there is any kind of virtual giggling, I skip. If the title makes me roll my eyes, I skip. Basically, my MO in the SSA and Level_Three.

Now, that's level one sorting. Level two is usually where I get trapped and frantic, because once I start reading? Can't stop. Train wreck in progress? Can't stop. Turns suddenly Brian/Michael with rugrats and a picket fence and pet dog unexpectedly? Can't stop. Have to read to the bitter, bitter, bitter end, and this could be (i) on 'things that make me cry ridiculously'.

And by the way? Nestle Treasures? The way to enlightenment. Especially the coconut ones. I at least ten pieces further into enlightened *right now*.

Hmm. I need to make more icons. Soon.

The number system went into effect today. Prepared for full-out comedy, with a touch of melodrama, considering where I work.

But really, this is hysterical.

I've explained my lucky, lucky position is the window directly in front of the door. So everyone always, always, *always* comes up to my window and hangs out for questions. Ignore the fact there are three open windows usually. I'm like Cheers or The Godfather or something. Though I don't know their names and professionally, I cannot ask for anything. Stupid ethics.

Anyway, in a fit of brilliance, Supervisor E (not my direct supervisor, but the one that spends the most time with us), upon deciding that yes, we at the front might actually know what we are talking about when we say the entire line-thing isn't working, forked up and instituted a number thingie. You know, a big thingermabob with numbers you pull out, and a happy little screen where the numbers show up. There are even buttons to play with!

Yes, I did play with them. Leave me alone.

Anyway, to achieve this, one of the two doors on my window had to be removed, giving it that trashy feel that we all know and love. Grr. But you know, sacrifices MUST be made. So I am Greeting Girl, who entices clients toward her to direct traffic. I am, in fact, a glorified and talking version of Expedia. Applications to that window. Appointments to that one. Take a number. Go cats go!

Whoops, my inner cheerleader got a second there. Must smash.

Annnyway.

Super E made the announcement and I watched the confused expressions on everyone's faces. Liken unto Solomon, I sorted those buggers out by type and sent them on their way with a tiny piece of paper that decided their positions in the Great Scheme of Things. It was endlessly amusing.

What I can't often share is the sheer amount of melodrama that happens on a daily basis, but man, it just makes you realize that soap operas totally do not have a monopoly on bad acting. Because honestly? I'm probably not going to believe your pleas of desperate destitution when...

One...you drive a 2003 car. If the payments would be half my salary? I'm going to laugh at you. Deal with it.

Two...anytime the discussion turns to the fact you can't make your appointment due to your two week vacation in Hawaii. No, really, this is comedy gold, honey.

I'm aware there could be highly extenuating circumstances that could lead you to doing these things and still being destitute, but my imagination may not be that good to figure them out, 'kay? So stop yelling at me.

*grins*

Customer Care

AnnoyingClient called. He sounded whiney and I answered his question and got off the phone with him. He had a distinctive voice, so surprise surprise, when he called back in the afternoon, I recognized him immediately.

I asked him waht he wanted.

( melodrama! )

Spam

I'm beginning to miss the endearing tastelessness of "See Girlz With Barnyard Anamals!", as in lieu of that, I'm getting tons of that idiotic virus. Raise your hands--how many of us are dumb enough to open attachments from anyone we don't know? Hell, I don't open attachments from people I *do* know unless I get an AIM confirmation of contents first. So really. Gah.

Fandom

I settled down on an idea I ran by jaymalea for a QaF fic. It sucks, but then again, my first stories usually do. I'm trying to get a voice for the characters, but I'm running into my biggest roadblock--I write as I read.

I've moaned about this before--months of stalking Te lead to my current adoration for the third person limited, single pov. Present tense, even. It's not something I want to get away from either. I like it, and it makes me happy. And the fact that some people really hate it only makes it that much more attractive.

QaF fandom is past tense, first person, or mult-pov, still first person, with a leavening of thirds around, but nothing, and I repeat this, nothing like anyone in SV. I don't really like writing first person unless the story actually requires it, which for me, some did, but it's not my default and never has been. But again--write as I read, and I'm reading a LOT of first person, which means, when I start writing, I am literally flipping switches between my default and what I've most recently been exposed to. It's an effort either way, to be honest--the sheer amount of first person Justin POV erodes my third badly. But--I just can't write him like that. Hence, I get stuck.

This is an Ungood Thing. So shoot me for being easily led.

Anyway, I thought I'd toss a snippet out and see if it feels as weird as I think it does. Set post 3-10 or roundbouts, but don't chisel that in stone or anything.

( lalala snippet )

Recs

jaymalea recced this snippet to make me all giggly. It worked.

B/J snippet. Heh. I want the rest of it now. Now now now.

Inspiration by Circe. Heh. Okay, that was cute. And double first persons that I really enjoyed reading. Much funness. And I'm a sucker for jealousy, 'kay?

Good mood back. I am so not going to worry how long it's going to last.

Happiness is....

An ultra busy day at work, coming home feeling weirdly uninspired, and present from Bethy waiting for me!

People, you have NO idea what kind of skill my girl has. Gorgeous, gorgeous bracelets and earrings and I was all giggly and way too girly. So pretty.

*hugs hwmitzy. You rock, darling, so much. *hugs more* They're absolutely gorgeous, and thank you so much for sending them! Just wonderful.

Second, LJ fairy stopped by, and thank you to whoever bought me more time in LJ! That was so cool. Thank you. *hugs*

Third--I've had a bad few weeks, what with all this feeling of my life's calling at my job and seriously wondering if I was up to it, amongst really boring, boring, boring personal things, but the other day, it became perfectly clear that this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing and that apparently, I am capable of doing it, at least adequately. I can't break confidentiality in open LJ, but it was cool, and it was inspiring, and it was--at the time, I didn't know I needed to know, that I needed confirmation, but now that I do, everything, even the bad stuff and the stuff that makes me crazy, is worth it. Absolutely will be worth it, even the next time I start getting frustrated. I'll remember that day, and that will be enough.

Still working on redesigning the resource booklet we give clients. I really had no idea how many groups and organizations spend so much time helping people out with things, and I still need to start tracking down more stuff. It's really amazing-- I had an ex who was president of a service frat and worked with Habitat for Humanity, amongst God knows how many other things in that vein, but this is probably the first time I really have been absorbing all that he did and probably still does.

Saw giant Amazonian leeches on TV. Wow. And gross. But it has that fascination that you can't quite look away from.

And did you know roaches can live two weeks without their heads?

Things That Continue to Annoy Me

Stupid sutures. It's just gross. It's not enough with the blood seeping and the constant low-level metal taste that chases everything I eat, it's teh fact it feels like I have dental floss stuck in my teeth and it freaks me out. The pain from the process isn't bad, but the areas around the sutures hurt like hell. Plus, the Vicodin is making me itch. Apparently, I do have some kind of reaction if I take it too long. Stupid stupid drugs. Gar. Must. Stop. Scratching.

More QaF Recs

I added a rec page to my website for QaF, if for no other reason than so I can find these stories myself later. As I tend to lose them distressingly often. Stupid short term memory.

Simon, an author who charms me with her humor.

A few favorites.

The first three go together, sort of. I think I have them in the right order, but I read them out of order and it didnt' destroy my life or anything. Hugely funny.

Company Picnic

The Office

Fourth of July

House Guests. Not part of the above, I think. Not humor. I liked the quiet in it.

Other Things

Had a weird thing happen at work--I've always gotten dizzy when I get up too fast or stuff like that, oh yippee low blood pressure, but this time, I literally zoned out in the middle fo typing and couldn't focus enough to remember what i was actually doing, which is possibly one of the most bizarre moments of my life. The client was standing htere, asking me a question, and I could not figure out what he was saying. It felt like being exhausted-sleepy, but not quite--even at my most tired, I've never, ever lost the ability to think or forgot what I was doing. I made an excuse and put my head between my knees for a second to see if it would pass and hit my head when it happened again, and again, took me some time to reorient myself.

I don't take off my jewelry often (two rings, that's it), unless my nickel-thing makes me break out. I always forget to put it back on. But I got up the other morning and noticed it was all on the desk, and I could not remember taking it off, or why I would do such a thing for that matter. There's also a possiblity I don't remember actually goign to bed, though I can't be sure I'm not just imagining that bit and actually just went to bed like normal and simply don't remember because it WAS normal.

But that was strange. Part of it is probably the antibiotics and the vicodin, and since nothing else seems out of whack, I'm not terribly worried. I'm guessing, vaguely, that it was probably the painkiller and since the itching's gotten worse, I'll just use some heavy duty advil until the swelling goes down. Not as good, but it keeps me from wanting to CHEW those fucking sutures out.

Huh. I didn't mean to go on as long as this. A little over twenty-four hours until beach time with my family, my sister's fiancee, my other sister's boyfriend, and far too many people under the age of seven.

Why DID I agree to go again?

This totally can't turn out well.