This Hide-and-Seek Makes Me an Addict: A Most Excellent Tale in Four Parts by syllic - Merlin futurefic! Except. Well. I think people from a certain fannish background will get it a lot faster. In which Merlin and Arthur still save people and create amazing things and light up the world. Also, Merlin is underage in Mississippi.

Now you know you want to read it. *points* Go. Trust me, there is this moment circa Part 3, after you had totes convinced yourself, no, you're on crack, and then! Then! You weren't wrong. Though maybe you are on crack, but I'm not judging you or anything.

syllic? I totally want to have your babies. *still laughing*

I'm in the mood for filthy, filthy porn.

Not just kinky, or even kinky at all--though kinky is always good--but I want dirty. Stretched open, tied down and begging for it, sweat-slick skin striped red from fingernails, flushed and panting, desperate and empty and stripped bare.

Yeah.

Keepsake by rageprufrock/rageprufrock, Merlin/Arthur, filthy.

Be inspired. You know, when you calm down.

In honor of it being Saturday and also some small but significant triumphs in coding my DW style...

Merlin porn recs!

Stripped by shinetheway, Merlin/Arthur - sequel to Wild Magic, in which Merlin and Arthur are in the woods. As happens. And have a very good time.

Quivering by b_hallward, Merlin/Arthur - dirty talk, hallways, and yeah. They also have a very good time.

Spoils of War by casspeach, Merlin/Arthur, AU - so Arthur conquers Ealdor and tries to do that entire ravishing thing. It's hot and adorable and funny. Arthur's a lousy attempted ravisher and Merlin's a terrible victim. It's like fate, even.

ETA: Okay, the crossposting is awesome when it can do that with the usernames. *glee*

A few quick recs. Because I'm waiting for a query at work and madness starts when I voluntarily read CNN for the articles.

Needlework by zarathuse, Merlin/Arthur - ooh, let me count the ways I love this. Magic. Merlin's father. Bonding. Immortality. And a needle. Also, pitch perfect dialogue and such, such, such good characterization you have no idea. And the plot's wonderful.

Inside Out by franticsga, Merlin/Arthur - modern AU, and clubbing and funny and awesome. And I do believe Merlin cannot dance, but I would dearly give a lot to see it.

Practical Volitation by allothi, Merlin/Arthur - to say this made me laugh out loud is an understatement. Merlin learns to fly via motivational conditioning. You'd be surprised what he uses as motivation, though.

When Trust Is a Thing Not Given and Water Is Taught By Thirst by aelora, Merlin/Arthur - she also wins for best title of the week on the latter--did I mention I have a thing for titles?--and an intriguing set of stories following along with Merlin's reveal and what comes after.

Practical Adventures and Auspicious Pursuits by stillane, Merlin/Arthur - it starts with goats. I mean, to say I knew by then this would be great is like saying putting my foot in water means I know it will get wet. And then there are spiders. My love for the action/adventure side of Merlin is very, very pure.

Obesiance by casspeach, Merlin/Arthur - in answer to the knee-walking challenge, this one is excellent. Merlin is loaned to another lord during his visit. We do not need to be told it does not go well, because honestly, how could it go right? Cass just does awesome things with this idea, and it's now a regular re-read.

It would probably be overkill to start a new journal specifically for the purpose of housing my recs so I don't have to feel guilty that I am four fandoms behind in updating my rec page? Overkill? No? Maybe?

In nearly a decade (a decade! This year!) of fanfic writing, there's one very important lesson that I have to remind myself of on an hourly basis--once the story goes to beta, do not touch it. You would think this would be easier than it is, but it's just not. Every time, it's just freakishly stressing not to open it and start editing it in very unproductive ways. This is how a person gives themselves an aneurysm. Or like, takes up recreational coffee addiction or other less savory pursuits.

It is in beta. Correcting page thirty-five sentence ten right now will lead to correcting sentence 21 and a new paragraph, and since I sent to beta, I've added like, half a page of uselessness.

It's also because a story is in beta, I can't work on something new. No, really. I can snippet--hey, anyone want to see the horror that is a short, terrible Lex Luthor/Arthur Pendragon?--but I can't write or I'll be making corrections to the beta story in the new story. Yes, it's possible. It's freaky, but it's possible.

Merlin

Blood by lazy_neutrino, gen - this is almost entirely action and interestingly formed as well. I wish I could explain the visceral power, because the author's style played it down, but it's a good view of post-Roman Britain's daily dangers, and the way people have to live their lives around those dangers.

The Night, The Light, and the Half-Light by the_moonmoth, preslash, Merlin/Arthur - this was a small and brilliant piece of art. The style is beautiful, and the changes between present time and dreams are pitch-perfect. It's one of the best, if not the best revelation fic I have ever read, and it read like a revelation--powerful and world-shaking and wonderful. For both style and content, this is going to the top of the list, and let me add, please stay with us, the_moonmoth. Maybe we should institute retention bonuses for good authors.

Ceremony of Innocence by snarkydame, Merlin/Arthur - the only complaint I could possibly have was I wish this were longer and a novel, but as a short story, it does not disappoint. History changing, and why, and the price of fixing it.

Soar by transtempts, Merlin/Arthur - Wingfic! And funny wingfic! I had fun reading this in progress and perhaps nagged for it a while. This is a great read.

Merlin RPS

Teaching the Indie Kids to Joust Again by bookshop, Colin/Bradley RPS - okay, here's the thing. I am not really into RPS, not for any particular reason except time management and interest. If a fandom has a ton of fic, I go that way. However, a dark and terrible couple of weeks ago, there was no new fic and when I checked delicious.com/tag/merlin, I needed something to read and what do you know, there was RPS. And there you have it. Speaking of, I need to do a rec set for that.

But that aside--I loved this. I mean, it was an incredible read. And honestly? It's not like Aja is not fairly well-known as a writer, but we never shared a fandom and I was curious. And so I went in, a bit wary, a bit hopeful, and came out dazed and startled and re-reading it three more times. I should feedback that sometime, but I'm afraid it would be something rather unreadable. I like the beginning, I like how this never really slows down or speeds up but changes beats instead, going from four to three to cut-time, and the slow growth of something happening that's terrible and wonderful and inevitable, too.

Oh, for convenience--I tag my recs recs: merlin if you are looking for earlier recs. I haven't added that to my main page sidebar due to laziness and because I really do think I'm going to convert to S2, but I get wary of change and I kind of just want someone to like, I don't know, do it for me or something. I've been saying that for years. I don't know. I never promised logic.

Note to self: no, do not open Word. Go listen to So Long, Goodbye by Ten Year and get melancholy instead. Or something.

Yes, I know, more recs, but if I stop, I will backlog again and it will be like, ten posts in a row or something, so.

Merlin recs! I am sure this is new and surprising to everyone.

Untitled Five Things Fic by winterlive, Merlin/Arthur - in the spirit of full disclosure, she wrote it off my prompt, and it is so adorable and also, can I get a toaster for pimping her into Merlin? She admits I beat her up and everything. My knuckles hurt. I deserve a toaster.

Fall From the Earth by torakowalski, Merlin/Arthur - I love how Arthur finds out and how it's possibly the least importnat thing that happens in that cave, even though it is the most important. Wonderfully done.

Those Things That Change Us by anna_zee, Merlin/Arthur - Merlin struggles with grief and Arthur struggles to work out how best to respond to it. Its' a wonderful view of both characters.

Pavlov Penis by derryere, Merlin/Arthur - you really have to read this, in which Merlin falls in love with Arthur's bed and Arthur thinks he could be falling in love with laundry detergent, and later, Merlin offers Arthur sheep. No, seriously, read this.

What You Carry With You by ras_fic, Merlin/Arthur - this twist on the Arthur finds out is both sad and for the fugure, if not the present, is hopeful. And it's beautiful, and it hurts, and the worst part is, you know it has to be this way for now.

If Wishes Were Horses by takadainmate, Merlin/Arthur - to say that Arthur does not quite understand how to express appreciation is an understatement the size of Australia. And Merlin's very patient and very drunk.

The History of Two Conversations by takadainmate, Merlin/Athur - I mislabeled this one or something and then couldn't remember the title and so, finally, found it yay! There's a magic book. There is Arthur finding out. And then there's the story of how that works out. This is fantastic.

And now tripping off to re-read it. *happy*

More recs. Yes, I know, but in my defense, I'm finally making headway in clearing my rec this list.

Room 20 by astolat, Merlin/Arthur, modern(ish) - My first love in any fiction is a mystery, and this is a mystery and a long-waited homecoming both. But mostly, I think when the world is ready to start over again, this is how it will begin. And Merlin almost made me want to cry, I was so relieved for him. In other words, this is one thousand words, but it's so, so much longer.

We'll Play in the Night Time by green_postit - Merlin/Arthur, modern AU. You know, I can't put my finger on what about it appeals to me--wait. I can. It's very, very hot. Also, my kink for jealousy is showing.

a tree and a bee and a flea, fiddle-dee-dee by oxoniensis, Merlin/Arthur - or, Merlin's plans can be excessively odd and wrong and still so much fun.

First Night by penknife, Merlin/Arthur/Gwen (sort of) - the night after Uther's death. I like this particular view of the future.

*sniffles pathetically* I am not fond of head congestion. This kind of thing should have been cured by modern medicine, trufax.

Surfacing from my congestion-related misery to bring two recs.

Subject (To) by frostfire_17 - *takes a deep breath* Merlin/Uther, no, breathe okay and just try it. It's uncomfortable and haunting and sad and beautifully written and kind of made me hurt for Merlin and hurt for Uther, too.

Drawing Back the Curtain by shinetheway - Morgana/Arthur/Merlin, Arthur/Merlin, Morgana/Gwen, not sad and lovely, lovely, lovely. And you know, guh.

Right then. I am looking forward to the day I can both breathe through my nose and stay awake for more than two hours at a time. However, I just saw bookshop is in the middle of reading syllic"s story Three Tasks, which, like raphaela667's I'll Be the Platform Shoes is my comfortfic of comfortfic, so going to re-read both now and drown the horror that is my nose in lilac robes and how Merlin never wanted to be in a romantic comedy, even though he was.

Go with God and decongestants, y'all.

(I really need to create a rec page for this. Maybe this week. Unless I get reinspired on the "Arthur Takes a Road Trip to Rome and Discovers Eyeliner" in which I could achieve both historical inaccuracy and satisfy a kink regarding Roman baths.)

In order:

Winterlive!

winterlive has Merlin icons up here with many pretty icons, including the one I snatched that I am using now, which is tentatively Prince With Migraine in Repose, or Right After Merlin Discovered the Deliciousness of Wine. As one does.

Fiction!

shinetheway wrote a whole bunch of potential endings to Efficient here.

transtempts adds one here.

thearchpoet writes a lovely Morgana one here.

The Plague!

I went to the doctor to slump sadly in a chair until I became bored, then played with the reflex hammer. In case anyone is curious, my knee reflexes are in fact working quite well. After kicking for a while, I kept using the foam to clean my hands off so as not to transport my death germs to other people and I think started getting a skin-related high from the alcohol content and carried on a spirited conversation with the doctor that in no way required her to actually answer. Bet that was fun for her.

So here is what we know. I have no lung congestion ("You have no congestion in your lungs!" she says in surprise. "I had pneumonia," I say grimly, leaning over to cough deliberately into a paper towel. "I cough." "Still..." "I cough with a torture device from Seton," I say, coughing again. "There will be no lung congestion. The food was terrible there." That's a lie. Their chicken lasagna was quite acceptable.) I have head congestion and sneezing and a note for work about my tragedy. I have bronchitis, which--okay? I mean, I am not going to argue or anything. I start something called Z-Pack antibiotics, but first I need to find my very special anti-nausea medication, because that shit is not on, and I remember the last time they gave me mysterious antibiotics and the death-nausea. I think this is throwing off my thyroid medication, but honestly, my entire immune system is in some kind of rebellion, so the only surprise at this point is that no one started making worried noises about x-rays so there could be more marveling at the odd that is my body.

Fool-proof way to cough is to laugh, and earlier, I told my mom the bear joke that svmadelyn told me. I am not in fact insane; she laughed very hard and I coughed. It's very hard to explain, but just, "you live like bears" is for some reason the funniest thing in the world.

And that concludes my Friday. I'm going to go look for merlinrps now, because I discovered my feelings on rps are like, directly proportional to how much non-rps I have to read and I am running out of things to read.

I also have tissues now a day after using paper towels and my nose hates me like some cats hate water. (My cat never did. So it's weird to say that.)

ETA: Sweet Child o' Mine by Taken by Trees is literally now the creepiest song I own. Also, it should be vidded.

First, a rec (I am contractually obligated to rec the writer that was one of the major reasons I was like "Oh my God Merlin, yes, please"):

The Tower by astolat - Merlin/Arthur, I know, new and strange, but also, I roll over and die for sexual manipulation and magical manipulation and combining those two is like teh equivalent of drowning me in delicious. The thing is, if you ever want to know the kink that is both my biggest squick and most dramatic bulletproof at the same time, it's a remix I wrote about Rodney McKay molesting John Sheppard's mind while in hologram form and okay this is not about me but is about my kinks. I haven't even feedbacked yet. I keep stopping and going Christ, Merlin because also, Merlin is not rational here and wow, who knew I had a very special button for that? Yes, shocking.

( spoilers for story, thoughts on Merlin, random )

This is only the second time I have ever recced something I haven't finished reading.

We're a Storm In Someone Else's Teacup by paperclipbitch - at this point, even if the ending is a complete letdown (which I don't think is possible), it's completely entranced me. Also, I am glad I waited until it was over, because otherwise, there would have been some serious hysterics. I'm on part 7b. I assume I will be able to breathe again eventually, but for the last few parts, so not been happening. My death by overadrenalinzed rush will be worth it.

Slow build at the beginning that's perfect in retrospect, because when it takes off, Christ, it takes off.

*eyes fic*

I don't know about the advisability of starting any fic* while moodily listening to Breaking Inside by Shinedown and finding your sentences have picked up the rhythm of the chorus. I sent the results to tricksterquinn and let me point out, when anyone sends you back really happy Jack/TARDIS fic in reaction, well. Yeah.

Theory of a Deadman may not be an improvement. *eyes playlist* Yeah. Hi.

(I've always had the faint hope that eventually I'd retreat to a musical selection not based on destructive rage, but so far, I'm seeing no sign of this. I was promised that my thirties would not be so close to fourteen through nineteen, and apparently, it was all lies.)

Read this instead of my moping about my tragic frustration with the universe, okay?

Drastically Redefining Protocol by rageprufrock - Merlin/Arthur and if you aren't reading this, uh, why?

( so i'm a bit curious, spoilers for fic )

*yes, mercurydraconix, that is your sea serpent fic. I--sorry? We know it's eventually happy, yes? Yes.

ETA: added in the cut to avoid spoiling about the thing with the thing and who did it. Also, I have moved to Things Fall Apart by Hurt. . We are about three steps from Bodies Like Sheep, which may actually be relieved, because I find that one really really cheering when singing the chorus. Do with that what you will.

Slowly but surely, I am clearing my rec this damn thing list.

And In His Hands, A Weapon by laceymcbain - okay, the thing is, Merlin is doing to me what QaF did. I have no freaking clue how to define gen and slash, and a very real part of me wants to break them all down to "They are not fucking yet" and "They are totally doing it". We'll say gen option one and go with that. That said.

I love this fic. It has an evil sorceress, and Merlin being very brave and Arthur being very awesome, and they're adorable and sometimes, you just look at them and think, they are the stuff of legend and kinda feel afraid and yet warm. It's like proof that that idiotic guy in freshman English who joined a frat and lived on nachos and the guy you know exists outside chem class but can't prove it really do learn to interact with other people and then save the world. Or fake it extraordinarily well. My love for this fic is pure and involves puppies and rainbows. Also, Arthur is fighting with a sword. If you are not aware the fastest way to gain my attention is Arthur earnestly trying to kill things, you have not been reading here long.

(See Sheppard, John, with gun. I rest my case.)

I'll Be the Platform Shoes by raphaela667 - Modern Political AU - I have no way to articulate that this story charms me into re-reading it pretty much three times a week. It's just incredibly adorable. It's adorable in ways that haven't been invented until now. This is my comfort fic.

Aftermath by shinetheway - a wonderfully sweet, wonderfully wistful look at Arthur after Valiant, and Merlin being incredibly, awesomely Merlin. There is a lot of Totally Platonic Really touching. There is oil. I--you see why the word 'gen' just really no longer applies?

So my original intent for yesterday was to come home and indulge myself in lots and lots of magical porn.

(It just occurred to me yesterday that indeed, this is the fandom that the Magical Healing Penis could in fact be a perfectly legitimate trope. I leave you all to mull this appropriately. And by that, I mean, people. Magical Healing Penis. Write that shit already.)

(Also where we can say "Dragons made them do it" and be totally canon-compliant.)

However. That did not happen. As around five-thirty, while looking happily at dinner, Child came to tell me that the bathroom is under two inches (two inches. TWO INCHES) of water with no end in sight.

I don't know how long it takes to turn one's bathroom into a shallow pond. But the toilet was doing its best to see that it become a lake. After an epic war with the shut-off thingie, there was two inches (Two. Fucking. Inches.) of water on my floor and we wo'nt discuss what happened to my boots because I will cry. Also, to the carpet outside both doors of the bathroom and into my bedroom.

So after embracing the wet-dry vac (that was--scary. Gallons of water people. Gallons), I came to two conclusions.

1.) Internal plumbing is evil.

2.) I really need a nap.

3.) That carpet better not mildew before I can finish getting it dry.

4.) Oh God, my boots. My boots. Never will I ever leave boots anywhere but a high shelf safe from the random possibility of flooding.

(WTF? How the hell was I supposed to anticipate random flooding of bathroom?)

In any event, life hard, wish for cookie, hate universe.

But. This made it better.

In Omne Tempus by giddygeek - Morgana/Gwen. Beautiful and bittersweet view of Camelot through its women and Morgana's place as untitled queen.

The Definition of a Life Saved by shinetheway, Merlin/Arthur - wow. It starts with a head injury and ends with a difficult truth. I just--have no words adequate to describe the punch at the end. A very good, slightly chilling punch.

Virginal by kaneko, Merlin/Arthur - so unicorn is the euphemism everyone is using these days? Yes. It seems to be.

Coming of Age by astolat, gen - the mythology alone woven through this would make it worth a drop everything and read, but the characterization is perfect. Sequel to Beltane, the legend of when a god bedded a human woman and what came of the child she bore.

Well, that was good for me. How 'bout you?

So I feel like I have taken some kind of weird four-steps-back thing in my fannish reading where I am using delicious for my reading needs, since it's faster than waiting for someone to fucking rec to me already and spare me pain.

(It's a sign of my current reading I keep wanting to throw out bloody for no reason, just out of context randomly, because I seriously love how it sounds. This is especially hysterical taking into account two Australian cousins who are having giggling fits every forty-five seconds or so and have no idea why. Okay, it's hysterical to me, and it involves stories of my childhood that would take years to relate, but suffice to say, it's really quite funny in my head. You really need to just trust me on this one and laugh politely. Thanks.)

Anyway, I was speaking of--right, the New and Terrifying Rec Machine that is delicious.

This is like Trekiverse all over again. I might get a summary. Probably not a good one (considering my summaries when I tag are something like "neat" and "disturbing", I still feel comfortable in judging this). Usually get a pairing. . Sometimes, get a bit more. Usually don't. Usually, I look at the number of times it's been tagged and think, ah, this must be readable.

Oh hell no. Tags lie.

I'm tempted to make a list but honestly, I love you all and that is why I feel you should fall over your own ass thinking you are going to read something about a forest or a desert or a something and get hit with like, knee-fetishes and the inappropriate use of mammals.

However

If I had been warned, I wouldn't have read this, and see explanation below.

Crossdressing is not my particular kink. Very much take it or leave it and leave some money on the dresser after you leave. But it's--you know, let me try it this way. I have read fic I hated and fic I liked and fic I went eh on and fic I tried to marry (and authors I sometimes stalk in my very subtle way). This is the first one I've read about six times now, both in order and out of order, and then from end to beginning (yes, I actually did). I have no idea what I think of it, to be honest. But I can say that's a fairly unique reaction. And I

Basically, I'm reccing this one on the strength of my original WTF reaction because I accidentally started in chapter five and that's why it ended up with multiple re-reads, because I was just that confused. I've never actually believed that the sins of my nineteen year old self and that terribly interesting night tripping acid outside my best friend's not-boyfriend's dorm would come back to haunt me, but this story kind of convinced me it had for at least four chapters.

Pure by doomcanary, Merlin/Arthur, Merlin/Other (sort of?), crossdressing, D/s (sort of? I'm not kidding, acid flashback), other assorted flavors of hmm. Multiple time periods. Yes, you will get used to it, but it still feels odd for a bit.

I will say, no matter what, get to the bacchanalia.

It's six freaking thirty in the morning. I feel this is an indecent hour. But not for porn. All times are good for porn.

These aren't porn.

Am prionnsa, an t-amadan agus na meirlich by aithris - this wins for my completely objective award of really slashy gen. There are bandits, and magical bracelets, and Arthur finds out. I also cannot spell the title, which means copypaste is my friend.

All I Wanted Was a White Knight by cf33 - bedwarming. No, in the literal sense. The entire thing is just adorable. And for not-porn, utterly guh.

I am feeling particularly proud atm that I am remembering to go back and leave feedback. Must. Make. This. Habit.