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Thursday, February 5th, 2009 09:06 am
bathrooms as a metaphor for life
So my original intent for yesterday was to come home and indulge myself in lots and lots of magical porn.
(It just occurred to me yesterday that indeed, this is the fandom that the Magical Healing Penis could in fact be a perfectly legitimate trope. I leave you all to mull this appropriately. And by that, I mean, people. Magical Healing Penis. Write that shit already.)
(Also where we can say "Dragons made them do it" and be totally canon-compliant.)
However. That did not happen. As around five-thirty, while looking happily at dinner, Child came to tell me that the bathroom is under two inches (two inches. TWO INCHES) of water with no end in sight.
I don't know how long it takes to turn one's bathroom into a shallow pond. But the toilet was doing its best to see that it become a lake. After an epic war with the shut-off thingie, there was two inches (Two. Fucking. Inches.) of water on my floor and we wo'nt discuss what happened to my boots because I will cry. Also, to the carpet outside both doors of the bathroom and into my bedroom.
So after embracing the wet-dry vac (that was--scary. Gallons of water people. Gallons), I came to two conclusions.
1.) Internal plumbing is evil.
2.) I really need a nap.
3.) That carpet better not mildew before I can finish getting it dry.
4.) Oh God, my boots. My boots. Never will I ever leave boots anywhere but a high shelf safe from the random possibility of flooding.
(WTF? How the hell was I supposed to anticipate random flooding of bathroom?)
In any event, life hard, wish for cookie, hate universe.
But. This made it better.
In Omne Tempus by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
giddygeek - Morgana/Gwen. Beautiful and bittersweet view of Camelot through its women and Morgana's place as untitled queen.
(It just occurred to me yesterday that indeed, this is the fandom that the Magical Healing Penis could in fact be a perfectly legitimate trope. I leave you all to mull this appropriately. And by that, I mean, people. Magical Healing Penis. Write that shit already.)
(Also where we can say "Dragons made them do it" and be totally canon-compliant.)
However. That did not happen. As around five-thirty, while looking happily at dinner, Child came to tell me that the bathroom is under two inches (two inches. TWO INCHES) of water with no end in sight.
I don't know how long it takes to turn one's bathroom into a shallow pond. But the toilet was doing its best to see that it become a lake. After an epic war with the shut-off thingie, there was two inches (Two. Fucking. Inches.) of water on my floor and we wo'nt discuss what happened to my boots because I will cry. Also, to the carpet outside both doors of the bathroom and into my bedroom.
So after embracing the wet-dry vac (that was--scary. Gallons of water people. Gallons), I came to two conclusions.
1.) Internal plumbing is evil.
2.) I really need a nap.
3.) That carpet better not mildew before I can finish getting it dry.
4.) Oh God, my boots. My boots. Never will I ever leave boots anywhere but a high shelf safe from the random possibility of flooding.
(WTF? How the hell was I supposed to anticipate random flooding of bathroom?)
In any event, life hard, wish for cookie, hate universe.
But. This made it better.
In Omne Tempus by
giddygeek - Morgana/Gwen. Beautiful and bittersweet view of Camelot through its women and Morgana's place as untitled queen.
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From:At least it was not at 3 in the morning? *flees*
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From:In our recent apartment flooding, we learned that the pad under the carpet is super absorptive and that the water had spread a lot further than we could tell on the surface. They had to rip out the carpet pad in both our bedrooms and use giant dehumidfiers on the top carpet part for like, three days before replacing the pad. Have you gotten any expert opinion on your carpet? Seriously, we couldn't tell how bad it was.
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From:Hugs. Cookies. Alcohol.
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From:Perhaps you would be interested in a compost toilet? They are good for the environment, involve no water, and don't overflow?
http://compostingtoilet.org/manufactured_systems/envirolet/index.php
Compost toilets - a whole movement you probably didn't know about - until now!
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From:I just had a flashback to the last monsoon season we had where the basement flooded and was under three inches of water and we bailed it out...into the pouring rain.
*shakes off memories*
Hopefully things will improve.
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From:Also, your poor shoes!
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From:Not only is it evil, it hates us. Why else would it save its worst disasters either for when they can cause water-destruction to all our most prized possessions and/or vital records, or for when the weather conditions make it impossible for even an emergency plumber to show up for at least 24 hours?
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Damaged boots are sad, but porn is good.
From:Arthur licked down Merlin's spine, tasting sweat and skin and something that almost fizzed on his tongue, that head spinning, mad taste of Merlin.
He paused when he got to Merlin's arse and ran his hands up his thighs, feeling the hair crinkle under his palms before he got to Merlin's hot cock. It twitched when he pressed into his crack and Merlin made a nasty, throaty sound that made his own cock twitch. When he pushed his tongue inside, Merlin's fingers tore the sheets and all the candles in the room leapt alight. Arthur gasped as Merlin groaned and he squeezed his hands tighter and pushed in deeper and Merlin suddenly started to shiver and whimper and they rocked together in a mess of dirty flavours, jerking movements and soft cries that made his cock throb and his chest ache. Eventually though Merlin clutched at him, cried out sharply and spilt all over his hand.
The world stopped in that one perfect second as they sank into the mattress. Arthur nuzzled Merlin and was about to start dropping hints about his own aching cock when he smelt something strange. Later, he'd completely deny he screeched like a girl as he shouted, "Merlin! You've set the bloody curtains on fire!"
THE END!
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