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Thursday, October 22nd, 2009 08:13 am
Step off, UPS. I am so not in the mood
Dear Universe (UPS and Amazon.com),
Let me level with you; my job is trying to drive me insane, and by try, I mean, succeeded admirably. I needed something good in my life. They are bears. This bear, and this bear, to be exact.
I ordered bears. One tells stories. Stories! They are soft and fluffy. They'll become friends with the frightening number of Christmas-related bears I already own (does not represent totes number of Christmas bears as of 2008). They were not in fact left at my doorstep no matter what tracking says. There is a distinct lack of irony in my textual voice when I say I will cut a bitch and pop a cap into someone and I really don't care who or in fact how impractical carrying two separate weapons in these jeans would be.
Give me my bears.
With a seething rage that could end a thousand worlds in a fiery apocalypse from which no one will escape,
Seperis
Let me level with you; my job is trying to drive me insane, and by try, I mean, succeeded admirably. I needed something good in my life. They are bears. This bear, and this bear, to be exact.
I ordered bears. One tells stories. Stories! They are soft and fluffy. They'll become friends with the frightening number of Christmas-related bears I already own (does not represent totes number of Christmas bears as of 2008). They were not in fact left at my doorstep no matter what tracking says. There is a distinct lack of irony in my textual voice when I say I will cut a bitch and pop a cap into someone and I really don't care who or in fact how impractical carrying two separate weapons in these jeans would be.
Give me my bears.
With a seething rage that could end a thousand worlds in a fiery apocalypse from which no one will escape,
Seperis
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From:SO WRONG!
If you decide to declare war on them, I'm in. I would happily slaughter in the name of teddy bears.
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From:I'm working on my ability to give hives to people via the force of my will through the internetz.
(I have batteries so I can hear the Christmas story one!)
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From:I like the hives plan, very stealth!
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From:The mail people are mean and they love to lie. I once sat next to my front door alllll day once waiting for something, and I saw the truck pass by and stop at my mailbox. I went to my mailbox and found a "failed delivery/sorry we missed you note". THOSE MEANIEHEADS NEVER TRIED TO DELIVER IT.
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From:CUT THEM ALL.
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From:Happily one or two of the non-USPS delivery services have my signature on file as okaying it for them to just leave packages on the front step.
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From:I hope you get your bears! Otherwise I might cut a bitch for you. Or, uh, in addition to you?
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From:omg I want you to have your bears! :( what if they have to spend Christmas without a home, far away from the north pole! I know what happens when you remove animals from their native habitat! I have seen Happy Feet! D:
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From:No, no they are not! :( Have you tried explaining this to UPS? I mean, I don't understand why they would not already recognize their duty to treat all Christmas bears humanely rather than leave them stranded out in the wilderness! But perhaps their conscience needs pricking! :(
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From:All my hopes and positive vibes for the safe delivery and happy induction of the bears.
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From:Go to this page: http://www.packagetrackr.com/
Put your number in, pick "auto detect" for which carrier, and it should tell you where it is.
I have to track packages for Amazon all day at work, and this is the most reliable. If it says it was delivered, when it obviously wasn't, call Amazon's customer service and let them know. They may tell you to wait a day or two, and then send a replacement, free of charge.
Those bears are adorable, I hope they show up soon!
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From:It makes a lot more sense this way.
Though I was intrigueed by soft fluffy christmas beans that tell stories !
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From:Oh, I plan a future as the crazy bear lady. CRAZZZZY.
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From:P.S. I got to browse Steiff stuffed animals today. They had the most adorable hedgehogs!
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