Step off, UPS. I am so not in the mood

[seperis]

Dear Universe (UPS and Amazon.com),

Let me level with you; my job is trying to drive me insane, and by try, I mean, succeeded admirably. I needed something good in my life. They are bears. This bear, and this bear, to be exact.

I ordered bears. One tells stories. Stories! They are soft and fluffy. They'll become friends with the frightening number of Christmas-related bears I already own (does not represent totes number of Christmas bears as of 2008). They were not in fact left at my doorstep no matter what tracking says. There is a distinct lack of irony in my textual voice when I say I will cut a bitch and pop a cap into someone and I really don't care who or in fact how impractical carrying two separate weapons in these jeans would be.

Give me my bears.

With a seething rage that could end a thousand worlds in a fiery apocalypse from which no one will escape,
Seperis

Comments

[vagabondage.livejournal.com]

What kind of evil bastards would lie about delivering a person's bears?!?!?!!!!

SO WRONG!

If you decide to declare war on them, I'm in. I would happily slaughter in the name of teddy bears.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I know! And it rained last night! It rained all night. My bears could be soaked somewhere and I am not happy.

I'm working on my ability to give hives to people via the force of my will through the internetz.

(I have batteries so I can hear the Christmas story one!)

[vagabondage.livejournal.com]

Soggy bears might be one of the saddest things in the universe. I hope your guys are dry and safe.

I like the hives plan, very stealth!

[tricksterquinn.livejournal.com]

Oh NO! I hope this situation is rectified immediately and the bears are delivered to you safely and soundly. *HUGS*

[seperis.livejournal.com]

BEARS! *whimpers*

[jamesinboots.livejournal.com]

Omgggggggg, cute bears!!

The mail people are mean and they love to lie. I once sat next to my front door alllll day once waiting for something, and I saw the truck pass by and stop at my mailbox. I went to my mailbox and found a "failed delivery/sorry we missed you note". THOSE MEANIEHEADS NEVER TRIED TO DELIVER IT.

[wonderlandkat.livejournal.com]

This has happened to me so many times. At my old job, UPS explained that sometimes they marked stuff delievered but if there was too many things for our location, some of them wouldn't be delievered until the next day. Meanwhile I'm working for the biggest diva that ever lived who wants his damn book now. It sucked.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

...I am hoping for that. *crosses fingers* It means they are safe and not delivered to someone who will not love them as I do.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Ooh. I believe it. Delivered my bear-deprived ass.

CUT THEM ALL.

[fyrdrakken]

Yeah, we've got the mailman who never rings the doorbell but only knocks -- very, very quietly -- and then goes away after about 30 seconds. I've gotten the undeliverable package notice when there was definitely someone in the house all day to answer the door, and I know what happened because of a Saturday or two when I had my bedroom window open and actually managed to hear the soft, soft knock on the front door.

Happily one or two of the non-USPS delivery services have my signature on file as okaying it for them to just leave packages on the front step.

[ratcreature]

I get the same kind of stealth approach, like they press the doorbell and then are gone before I can buzz the door downstairs open. I think they rarely deliver to me, because I'm on the sixth floor and there is no elevator. And it not like I can't understand the reluctance, but it still sucks. I now get most of my package deliveries to a box at a package station and just fetch them myself.

[fyrdrakken]

I'm much more likely to find the package left lying on the doorstep than the misdelivery notice, but if I know for sure a signature is required, and especially if I'm getting something pricey (like, from Dell) that I'd feel kind of antsy about leaving on the doorstep anyway, I have them deliver it to my work address instead, where there's a receptionist there to sign for packages.

[ratcreature]

I doubt anything would remain lying around if they dropped it just in front of my building. Unless it was really heavy maybe. People even absconded with the newspaper I had in subscription for a while because the delivery guy didn't even bother to push it inside the slot in the building's front door but just threw it on the doorstep. What the mail persons do sometimes, is to just drop a package off at one of the stores next door, though it's not like that is especially secure, because they just put the notice on the outside of the door, so anyone could just take the notice and fetch my package, claiming it was theirs, it's not like the guy in the store next door actually knows me by name or recognizes me or anything.

[omnipresentdmat.livejournal.com]

Wow, you are kind of adorable ♥

I hope you get your bears! Otherwise I might cut a bitch for you. Or, uh, in addition to you?

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Group cutting would not go amiss. *pleased*

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

omg I want you to have your bears! :( what if they have to spend Christmas without a home, far away from the north pole! I know what happens when you remove animals from their native habitat! I have seen Happy Feet! D:

[seperis.livejournal.com]

THIS! They are upset and alone and need me (and batteries so one can tell stories). Traumatized bears are not happiness.

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

No, no they are not! :( Have you tried explaining this to UPS? I mean, I don't understand why they would not already recognize their duty to treat all Christmas bears humanely rather than leave them stranded out in the wilderness! But perhaps their conscience needs pricking! :(

[dalaire.livejournal.com]

I would be livid, too. In this house, bears (among the other vast numbers of beloved plushies) are sacred.

All my hopes and positive vibes for the safe delivery and happy induction of the bears.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*crossing fingers* They could be anywhere.

[piplover.livejournal.com]

If you go to amazon.com's website, click on the Your Account button and view recent orders, you should be able to pull up a tracking number.

Go to this page: http://www.packagetrackr.com/

Put your number in, pick "auto detect" for which carrier, and it should tell you where it is.

I have to track packages for Amazon all day at work, and this is the most reliable. If it says it was delivered, when it obviously wasn't, call Amazon's customer service and let them know. They may tell you to wait a day or two, and then send a replacement, free of charge.

Those bears are adorable, I hope they show up soon!

[laura47.livejournal.com]

When I first read this I was sleepy and read "bears" as "beans" repeatedly.

It makes a lot more sense this way.

Though I was intrigueed by soft fluffy christmas beans that tell stories !

[quickthorne.livejournal.com]

That is a truly horrifying number of bears directly related to Christmas.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Love the icon. *G*

Oh, I plan a future as the crazy bear lady. CRAZZZZY.

[sexybee.livejournal.com]

Mail delivery services suck. They have lost so much of my stuff. And Amazon is getting no love from me right now, either. I ordered, like, five books on Super Saver Shipping. Because one of them is delayed (Martha Wells), I am having to wait like three weeks for all of them. How can they do that to me?? Don't they know I need my books?

P.S. I got to browse Steiff stuffed animals today. They had the most adorable hedgehogs!