Step off, UPS. I am so not in the mood

Dear Universe (UPS and Amazon.com),

Let me level with you; my job is trying to drive me insane, and by try, I mean, succeeded admirably. I needed something good in my life. They are bears. This bear, and this bear, to be exact.

I ordered bears. One tells stories. Stories! They are soft and fluffy. They'll become friends with the frightening number of Christmas-related bears I already own (does not represent totes number of Christmas bears as of 2008). They were not in fact left at my doorstep no matter what tracking says. There is a distinct lack of irony in my textual voice when I say I will cut a bitch and pop a cap into someone and I really don't care who or in fact how impractical carrying two separate weapons in these jeans would be.

Give me my bears.

With a seething rage that could end a thousand worlds in a fiery apocalypse from which no one will escape,
Seperis

Comments

[ratcreature]

I get the same kind of stealth approach, like they press the doorbell and then are gone before I can buzz the door downstairs open. I think they rarely deliver to me, because I'm on the sixth floor and there is no elevator. And it not like I can't understand the reluctance, but it still sucks. I now get most of my package deliveries to a box at a package station and just fetch them myself.

[fyrdrakken]

I'm much more likely to find the package left lying on the doorstep than the misdelivery notice, but if I know for sure a signature is required, and especially if I'm getting something pricey (like, from Dell) that I'd feel kind of antsy about leaving on the doorstep anyway, I have them deliver it to my work address instead, where there's a receptionist there to sign for packages.

[ratcreature]

I doubt anything would remain lying around if they dropped it just in front of my building. Unless it was really heavy maybe. People even absconded with the newspaper I had in subscription for a while because the delivery guy didn't even bother to push it inside the slot in the building's front door but just threw it on the doorstep. What the mail persons do sometimes, is to just drop a package off at one of the stores next door, though it's not like that is especially secure, because they just put the notice on the outside of the door, so anyone could just take the notice and fetch my package, claiming it was theirs, it's not like the guy in the store next door actually knows me by name or recognizes me or anything.