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So. Multidimensional arrays. Well.

See, I thought hell was classes. No. Hell was functions? No. Is hell, in fact, a two dimensional array? Actually, no.

Hell is a book that acts like they are just two arrays brought together magically.

Starting on Friday, through midnight Sunday, I suffered under the delusion that all I had to do was create two arrays, then bring them together with magic. Like this.

table[array1][array2]

Voila! Your work here is done. Or so the book says.

And I'm sure in some universe--the example in the book, say--that works. You might be surprised to know I cried, considered drowning myself, and opened up The Erdős–Faber–Lovász conjecture to stare at (speaking of, I'm still not sure why two people can't just belong to one committee period, because that would short circuit that entire issue right off the bat). And let me tell you, when working on unsolved graphing problems you don't even understand is preferable to spending any amount of time looking at your two dimensional array? You have reached hell.

(Seriously. Why can't two people work only one committee? I'm also weirded out by the fact the entire thing really looks neat if it's k chairs, k people and k+1 committees. I don't even know what that means but the graph has four colors and is deeply, deeply awesome and also congruent, which satisfies the small part of me that likes everything to be balanced. I ended up trying to do it three dimensionally but again, no toothpicks. I also gave the people names. Perhaps off my flist. It was more fun that way).

But you know what's so much easier than both of these? Treat the fucker like an address.

table[rows][columns]

I keep going back to read the book and they just do not even imply that. They don't! They initialize it, or enter data from it, but nowhere does it say, "Oh, by the way. Please don't take this literally. This is an address." An address. A pointer, though not officially, if you will. You don't have to create an array to take your data before hand! No, this one can do it all on its own!

One. Line. Would. Have. Saved. My. Sanity.

The only comfort I have atm is that the average grade on this is very low so far. Still have searching the char array to do (Pretty sure this isn't going well; my first attempt last night ended up with strange results that might be, oh, crazy) and organizing the data. Yeah.

I always wondered about people who said they could pass a class easily and never learn anything. It scares me that it's very possible without a lab practical, which makes me wonder why on earth there isn't one for this.

I wish there were other news, but really. Really close to writing a sternly worded letter to the book person to use examples that are, say, clearer. Using the Angry Snail Icon of Anger.

Okay, in order:

Thanks to summertea and loriel_eris, finally got the program fixed. So it works as it is supposed to. I could lose points for style, but he never takes more than two or three if it works correctly, so...*breathes*

Test was--I have no idea. Right now I have a C no matter what--I'll have a B if I average at least a forty-five on the Lab and a forty-five on the written. I really want that A though, which means I need 186 points out of the 100 written, 100 lab test and the twenty on the last lab. But seriosuly--I think the lab test was okay--after that last lab it was pretty much a snap--but God, that written.

And I hate being given code with blank variables and told to explain what it does. It's *annoying*.

Now...a week until I know. Gah.

In other news--God, there is no other news. But I miss that class already. *sighs*

In continuing adventures of How Jenn Got Her Libido Back--this is tagged 'unrequited'.

Relates to my startled realization I am, in fact, human, and suddenly find myself in the middle of a crush. So embarrassing.

So class. Funnily, I fell asleep during class on Tuesday, so homework was extra bizarre in that all my notes were written in a way that didnt' encourage reading them. Randomly--I still can't IPO or diagram a program before I write it. I mean, I can, but it's impossibly hard. Whereas I can get the skeleton of a program up and boom, I can do everything. Part of it has to be how I write as well--I can't really pre-plot an entire story all that well either before writing it. I mean, I *can* and have, but usually it works a lot better if I wait until I'm a bit in and can see what patterns are already there and how the shape will develop.

Beside the point.

We were talking with some other people before class about using tabs in output text, and etc etc etc--anyway, during the lab I was having my professor check my flowchart (Okay, I admit, I get a kick when he writes on my charts stuff like "nice design!" I am very in need of outside approval. Judge all you like.), and while waiting he went to print his; since our professor had been working with him on his, I appropriated it to read, and he gave me a look and then asked if I'd lost weight since the beginning of the semester.

*facepalm*

Jesus God. Also, I realized he's taller than me, and I remembered he used to do calesthenics regularly and carried large firearms and probably sweats attractively. At some point in his life, not too long ago, eh wore BDU's. He's also smart.

Will not throw self at guy-with-girlfriend. I actually won't and wouldn't--that alone actually acts nicely to kill libido quickly--but seriously. My physical type. And I'd love arguing with him, and I'd enjoy mocking him, and I'd enjoy both coming from him.

My only real solace is hoping he's actually a total asshole and the charm of arguing with him is actually him on his very best behavior. Or he is a playboy. Or he eats raw squirrel. Kills cats for fun. Hates Atlantis. Please.

( you may think this started in Atlantis fandom, but sadly no: this dates to Fort Hood )

It's not like I'm reading anything into it--I just had one male coworker ask if I gained weight, and my BMI still sits stubbornly at just-overweight that annoys me. Stupid weird inappropriate girl reactions. I need to find my zen. And he needs to stop arguing with me so much because hey, that's foreplay to me and wow, I am so glad class will be over in a few weeks.

In closing: damn him. Also, I looked like hell because I am determined to never look like I am at all trying to in any way appear attractive. OTOH, I finished all my programming up and got to leave early before I did something idiotic like wander over and ask to read his etchings.

Maybe I should get another rabbit?

Hi. I have had a very bad two days.

1.) Ipod vanished at some point between when I put it up during class yesterday and coming home.

2.) Laptop is doing frequent blue screens of death and overheating.

3.) Phone bill is far more than expected. Electric bill is somewhat more than hoped.

( four is under the cut because I dont want to look at it when I surf my flist )

5. Yesterday, my bus came at the normal time and I got in and sat down and tarted stuyding and looked up and it was going th wrong direction. It was teh right bus, wrong direction. Problem: the bus that goes the wrong direction (north instead of south) doens't *stop* at school. It never has befeore. Which means there was a route change adn I am so glad I looked up. So I stood at a convenience store at night and called eveyrone I knew so someone would pick me up.

I woulnd't have worried if I hadn't been in a short skirt and Boots of Ultimate Not Running. And carrying all my credit cards.

There is a lesson in this: Thursday, I felt weirdly optimistic and good moody. So I thought, instead of carrying on my determined effort to look as slovenly and unapproachable as possible (so as to avoid people wanting to chat) I shall wear my nice black skirt! And this new pretty red sleeveless shirt with the draped neckline. And my black boots of pretty! And do my hair. And wearing make up! And actually remember to refresh my lipstick!

This entire thing is totally a judgment on vanity.

6. Work sucks.

7. I need a new coat and I found this pretty cashmere pea coat of love and I cannot get it now. I actually need more clothes for work period. One pair of pants lost it's hooks and button, one pair has shrunk to too short, and my sweaters are getting old and not pretty.

(Codicil: I feel like blowing the limit on my credit card at the outlet mall tomorrow. Considering the mood I'm in, there's a pretty good chance I'm going to do just that.)

8. Tuition is due on the eleventh. I have absolutely no clue where I'm getting the money for that unless I wreck my careful plan of paying of all my debt and kill off the rest of my savings. that I have made some good inroads in.

(I mean, obviously I am going to get the money. This is not a plea for money or ipods. Wait Does this entry look like a very unsubtle plea for money or ipods? I promise, I am not posting for money or ipods, just free, free sympathy. God. I am paranoid. Moving on.)

9. I forgot to officially sign up for NaNoWriMo. I just realized this. I'm pretty sure due to this, I will blow off for the third year turning that silly script I wrote into a novel. A slashy novel of elves.

(I'm actually only partially kidding. It is not a slashy script of elves. I just really really wanted it to be. There were a lot of weapons involved, though, which amounts to the same thing. It is about Christmas. Obvious connection, I know.)

10. Part of ipod tragedy; my headphones were attached to the ipod.

( eleven under cut for same reason as above )

12. And all of this, for the most part, is either petty, doens't matter, or fixable. I just cannot deal with doing any of it.

It's just been a bad week. November does not look better than October. And I will buck up! I will! Just not tonight. Tomorrow. Using my Lana icon of ultimate pointless whining. There. Better already.

So, got the test results back for C++.

( hmm )

Turned in my program today, so didn't actualy need to stay in the lab, but in class, we learned about strings, and I wanted to see what I could do along the lines of bells and whistles with this program. I think I'll make an extra copy of the source and use it to add/practice what I learn and can add to it.

Okay, may be interested, may not be. But IT WAS SO MUCH FUN.

( it's so odd to finally be *good* at something )

I am having way too much fun. Also am trying to debate writing something tonight. I feel very good.

So I should be doing homework, but I've done homework every night (with the exception of the day that Ces's story came out, because seriously. That's a freaking extenuating circumstance if I ever heard one). Mostly, I want to do nothing.

The thing is--I totaly forgot how awesome loafing is when you have something else to do. It's like underaged drinking, except without the arrest possibility, alcohol poisoning, or peeling random males off one before stumbling to bed. But there's the furtive joy of doing something you know you shouldn't, vague guilt because you *know* what you should be doing, and then the sheer ecstacy of blowing it off.

It's kind of beautiful, really.

Things Accomplished

1.) Downloaded Visio for class. Eh.

2.) Downloaded C++ compiler. Very awesome. Have no idea how to use it, but I poked it for a while and did something and colors appeared, so I got scared and shut it down really fast.

3.) Tried to pick a focus for my CS electives, which may seem kind of early except for the fact that a.) I have *nothing but this major left* other than the base classes I'm taking now and b.) I keep steering toward things I know will bore me to tears in the long run.

Like--ooh, introduction to AI! Sounds awesome! And dramatic! Robots! (in junior high, which is next year, they start intro to robots and I swear, anyone tells Child I have this option, I will never hear the end of it). And yes, being a sci-fi fan, it's like catnip. But one, I hate theoretical work because it's a lot less active for the most part and b.) seriously. What the hell am I going to do with it? Granted, maybe I am in fact an undiscovered genius who will suddenly figure out how to create the first AI (and in my Nobel speech, I'd totally cite my flist as my inspiration, if I still remembered you and all), but you know? Guessing? I'm thinking no. *Pretty* sure that by this time, I'd be aware of my stratospheric IQ if it existed.

But still gah.

There's several other options, one of which focuses on the relationship between machine language and higher level languages, which sounds intriguing until I twitch to remember the reason I like this is I get to *make things*, and also, I want write a word-to-html program and archiving program that doesn't drive me nuts (seriously, so close to writing that on my Goals For This Major sheet)(also in this, svmadelyn mentions she has a set of things that, once I finish, I'm expected to write for her due to her Ceaseless Encouragement, Support, and General Goodness of Spirit (possibly I am quoting). I like being given a set of tools, a pile of things, and told to make something out of it (see Jenn Build Giant Rabbit Condo, Jenn Disassembles DVD player, Jenn Loves Putting Together Own Furniture). The more limited the tools and things, the greater the scope for fun and innovation.

Mostly I'm hoping there's at least one physical-side class somewhere. While I know in general what's in that computer or laptop, I'd like a nice sixteen weeks for someone to lovingly detail the motherboard and assorted peripherals in exacting detail. This is because my best freinds' brother just built his computer and it's like--God. I keep hearing just the specs and try not to consider seducing him in hopes he'll let me play with it in post-coital glow, because God. (And also, I know him; that would not work. Dammit.)

4.) This isn't done, but I keep thinking about it. I was chatting out an idea to amireal and eleveninches, but it won't *solidify*. It's like that freaking "John Accidentally Becomes a Deity and Wow, How Could This Go Wrong + Bonus Body Art!", which was so cool in concept and then I got stuck forty pages in because I couldn't figure out why I couldn't pace it.

Right. Solidify. I'm more attracted to individual scenes than the actual story itself.

( below cut stuff )

Will continue to loaf and read the horror spawned by some of the most creatively horrific badfic smut lines in history. I mean, they threw down. And I will never be able to eat yougart again. Ever.

So. Chemistry.

All science majors can just skip over this because hey, I have science angst and I so plan to whine now about basic principles of chemistry. Also, my hand hurts.

( Part A: My Chemistry Teacher is a Freaking Literal Motivational Speaker: how did this happen? )

( Part B: Those Crazy People Who Are Awake This Early )

( Part C: So This Is What It Feels Like When Doves Cry )

In closing: next time, I am bringing decent coffee with me. Screw health. I need the caffeine.

PS - Did I mention I rewrote all five pages of class notes over again in multiple colored pens? And did the the non-handout homework? My hand CRAMPED UP. This is my life, and it involves hand cramps. Gah.