seperis | government intervention made sexy

Because if we cannot laugh at an economic death spiral, we cannot laugh at anything. Spoilers for the economic crisis! In case you were waiting for the coming movie.

Government Seizes WaMu and Sells Some Assets

That'd be Washington Mutual, for those like me who said "Who the fuck is WaMu?" We have learned today that WaMu--okay, seriously, say that out loud, it rocks--WaMu is, and I quote, "the giant lender that came to symbolize the excesses of the mortgage boom".

Now, being most of us bloggers and writers, we all have to take a step back and admire the language.

seperis: I love how they use the word "seized".

svmadelyn: I know!
seperis: I SEE ARMIES OF ACCOUNTANTS SNATCHING LAPTOPS FROM CEOS!
svmadelyn: I have this mental image
svmadelyn: of them--YEAH
svmadelyn: boots tumbling down the stairs
seperis: AND THROWING PAPERS OUT OF FILE CABINETS
seperis: AND GRABBING RIFLING EXECUTIVE DESKS IN SLEEK BLACK FITTED JUMPSUITS

Carrying number two pencils, sharpened. As

musesfool once remarked to

celli, and this is a paraphrase, if you can't kill your enemies with a sharpened number two pencil, you don't deserve to be a CPA.

They are stabbing. And they like it.

The federal goverment has never been so hot. Seize more assets, baby. Bring it on.

In other news, JP Morgan is marrying any trollop it can get its hands on (seriously, does anyone else notice the language being used? Failing companies == ruined women in need of rescue; it's hysterical. The dowries are terrible; we must be doing this old school) while the Papa Feds apparently hold a shotgun to their back during the wedding.

Oh come on, like we all aren't wondering when economics, like physics, became a weird and kind of disorienting bdsm scene. I, for one, stare blankly and try not to rewrite this entire thing into an epic h/c fic, because I think it would make more sense that way. Or at least give me great personal amusement, the way my 457 account totally is not in a variety of ways.

For anyone who wants the short and simplified version in day by day format: The crisis: A timeline.

I love the fact that I can examine this from a narrative perspective far more easily than from a personal one. Financial death spiral. That's just beautiful.

ETA: Government Bailout in Disarray! - in the movie, I want Paulson played by Al Pacino. For the irony factor.

*lies down* Fuck retiring like, ever. The sheer entertainment value almost makes it worth it.

Quotes

If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
. -- Unknown, on feedback
BTS List
That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
AIM, 3/25/2004
Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
Twitter
I will unashamedly and unapologetically celebrate the joy and the warmth and the creativity of a community of people sharing something positive and beautiful and connective and if you don’t like it you are most welcome to very fuck off.
-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
Twitter, 6/19/2019
Adding for Mastodon.
-- Jenn, traceback
Fosstodon, 11/6/2022

government intervention made sexy

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