ANNOUNCEMENT

amireal no longer exists. I have no idea who she is, I have never written with her, and never will her name be spoken in my presence again.

Also, Cherry Orchard coffee from Central Market. Party in a cup. Best stuff *ever*. Will sell liver for unlimited supply.

Right. amireal shunned. I mean, if she existed. Which she does not.

That is all.

Comments

[amireal.livejournal.com]

To be fair.

...you sorta asked for it. *koff*

[seperis.livejournal.com]

SHUNNED! YOU ARE NOT HERE.

[amireal.livejournal.com]

*eyebrow*

You did realize I'm not actually writing anything. For fear of Rodney behind a baracade in his lab.

With turrets.

...programmed to aim at people's crotches.

So anyone is fair game really.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

SHUNNED! LIKE THAT GUY IN SILAS MARNER. WAIT. LIKE SILAS MARNER!

(but you are *thinking it*. And I do not trust you. And also, you are thinking it.)

[amireal.livejournal.com]

I'm not really thinking it.

Have I ever character assassinated to that degree?

And if I did, it would be a clear parody.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

If you existed--which you totally do not--but if you did?

There was no lube!

[amireal.livejournal.com]

I WAS MOCKING BADFIC THAT MAKES THE EYES BLEED!

ONCE THERE WAS A DAY YOU LIKED MOCKING!

*WEEPS*

[seperis.livejournal.com]

YOU MADE ME CRY AND CRY AND CRY!

If you existed, I mean.

[amireal.livejournal.com]

YOU MOCKED MY POOR RONDEY WOOBIE!!


*FLINGS SELF AT FANON!*

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I FORBID THE USE OF WOOBIE! FORBID FORBIDD FORBID!

[amireal.livejournal.com]

WOOBIE!

WOOBIEWOOBIEWOOBIE!

WHO IS NOW BUILDING RUBBER BAND GUN TURRETS!

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I WILL WHORE JOHN OUT TO THE FIRST ASCENDED PRIESTESS WHO COMES BY! AND THEY WILL HAVE BABIES!

OH LOOK THERE IS CHAYA! HEY COME AND GET IT! NEW OTP!

[amireal.livejournal.com]

THERE WILL BE UNREALISTIC VIRGIN SEX!!! AND INAPROPRIATE SEX TOY WEARING WHILE ON DUTY!


AND JOHN WILL SLIP AND CALL RODNEY MASTER! AND IT WILL ALL BE BECAUSE JOHN IS A BIG ANOREXIC BULLY!!

OH LOOK, THERE IS AN ALIEN PLANET WITH DUBIOUS INTENTIONS, HERE COMES RODNEY WITH THE BUTTPLUG!

[researchgrrrl.livejournal.com]

*clings*

I STILL LOVE YOU!

What'd you do, and can I offer you financial compensation for it or do you prefer other types of favors?

[amireal.livejournal.com]

There was general grumpiness at fanon in general.

It was a whole thing.

[researchgrrrl.livejournal.com]

She gets like that a lot, doesn't she?

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Oooho. OOOH I SEE HOW THIS IS. I SEE WHO MY REAL FRIENDS ARE! SEE MY CAPSLOCK OF UNBRIDLED RAGE? SEE IT? IT IS MY PAIN REFLECTED VIA SHIFT KEY!

[amireal.livejournal.com]

SEE!! YOU ADMIT TO OVERREACTIONS!

SEE MY CAPSLOCK OF EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY??

[seperis.livejournal.com]

SEE MY CAPSLOCK OF PAIN AND SUFFERING? SEE IT? THIS IS PAIN AND SUFFERING! PAIN! AND!! SUFFERING!!! I AM USING EXCLAMATION MARKS TO EMPHASIZE THIS!

[researchgrrrl.livejournal.com]

YOUR CAPSLOCK OF PAIN AND SUFFERING ARE AS NOTHING TO ME. I SPIT UPON YOUR MULTIPLE EXCLAMATION MARKS. *spitspitspit* YOU DESERVE NO QUARTER.

[amireal.livejournal.com]

LOOK AT MY CAPSLOCK OF UTTER CONTEMPT! I AM SO OVER WRAUGHT MY Finger IS SLIpping oFF THE SHIFT KEY!!!!1111!11

[researchgrrrl.livejournal.com]

TWO WORDS FOR YOU, JENN:

DIAPER FETISH

YOU DESERVE ANYTHING THAT COMES YOUR WAY.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

GENDERSWITCH WINGFIC DIAPER FETISH MPREG INVOLVING DEMON PONIES! DEMON PONIES!

[researchgrrrl.livejournal.com]

NON-CON BDSM TENTACLE-MPREG ANIMAL TRANSFORMATION POETRYFIC RPS!!

You guys were asking for it... this is ENTIRELY your fault

[dracostella.livejournal.com]

I couldn't get the wings, but I wrote a *SERIOUS* diaper mpreg demon ponies story. JUST FOR YOU GUYS...

---

Sheppard doesn't see McKay when he finds him, but he hears McKay screaming. McKay's entire form is hidden under the pale body of the equine like San'tarth.

"Ronon!" Sheppard aims his P-90, but he can't fire, his firearm would penetrate the San'tarth and hit McKay.

Ronon fires his energy weapon, and for a moment, the San'tarth stretches its back and turns its head toward them. It's large amber eyes regards them with mild annoyance, then it turns back to McKay.

With the shifting of its position, Sheppard sees McKay. McKay's eyes are open, but they are unfocused. He doesn't see any blood, but he can smell it, and he still can't see McKay's lower body.

"Fuck." Sheppard runs around the San'tarth to get a better angle, and fires two precisely aimed shots at its head.

The shots finally gets San'tarth's attention, it raises its hindlegs, and its eyes narrows toward Sheppard, but Sheppard is looking at McKay. The San'tarth has something-- God he hoped it wasn't a tentacle--penetrating McKay.

McKay's screams changes pitch, and the San'tarth withdraws from him, and suddenly it coming straight for Sheppard in a giant leap.

Sheppard aims for the head and fires repeatedly. He can hear Teyla's P-90 gunfire echoing his own, and before the San'tarth reaches Sheppard, it drops midair, and rolls on the ground.

"Get McKay," Sheppard yells above the sound of his weapon as he continues to fire.

Ronon grabs McKay, swings him unceremoniously over his shoulder, and takes off running toward the puddlejumper.

Sheppard cringes at the blood on McKay's ripped pants, but he keeps on firing.

And thank God, the San'tarth doesn't pursue them as they all take off running. But when they reach the puddlejumper, McKay is still screaming.

Sheppard engages the controls, gets the jumper on autopilot and then goes to the back of the jumper to check on McKay. It's about seven minutes to the gate, but McKay looks bad.

"The San'tarth has laid its egg in him," Ronon says. His hands are pressed on McKay's abdomen. "I can feel it."

"Fuck!" Despite the space vampires, Sheppard has never thought he'd be reliving a scene from Alien. "Is it going to burst out of his chest?"

"It will crawl out of where ever the egg was laid," Ronon says. "I have never seen it, but I have heard it takes several days for the victim to die."

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Even as Sheppard cursed, he thinks that perhaps there is enough time to get McKay back. "How do we kill it?"

"I have never killed a San'tarth hatchling, but cutting its head off and shooting it kills most things," Ronon says. Then he looks up at Sheppard, and says, "You're hit."

Sheppard follows his eyes to his shoulder, and sees blood seeping through even though he still couldn't feel it. "I must have gotten clipped by one of the shots when the San'tarth was coming at me. It's fine. But this thing, this thing inside Rodney, once Beckett gets it out of him, is it going to attach to someone else? Lay more eggs?"

"No, it's too young to do that. Once we get it out of McKay, we should be able to kill it," Ronon says.

"He is not doing well," Teyla says. She has McKay's head cradled in her lap, and McKay is writhing in pain.

"Come on, buddy, we've almost got you home," Sheppard says, offering McKay his hand.

McKay clutches it, his grip tight enough to bruise, "God, it hurts." McKay's face is covered in sweat and tears, and Sheppard takes some bandages from a medkit with his free hand and wipes McKay's face with it.

"Kill me," McKay says suddenly. "Kill me, I can't-- please-- Oh God."

"I know it hurts Rodney," Sheppard says, his hand stilled on McKay's face with unwanted clarity on just how much it must hurt. "Just hang on, Rodney, we've almost got you home,"

"It hurts! God it hurts," McKay is sobbing. "Kill me, God, just please kill me. I can't-- I can feel it crawling inside-- please..."

The controls of the puddlejumper beeps before Sheppard can respond, announcing that they were in communication range.

(continued in the next comment...)