Title: Teacher's Pet 10: Growing Pains
Author: Seperis
Codes: Rodney McKay, John Sheppard, Teyla Emmagen, Ronon Dex
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Puberty sucks.
Author Notes: So. Yes. It's been a while. Perhaps a very long while.

All earlier stories can be found here.

miss_porcupine, you can post the next one whenever you are ready. And that you've had done for like, over a *year* while I dithered.

( sgafic: teachers pet, 10 )

First two requests, one non-request because I forgot I wrote it and it kind of amuses me in retrospect.

( pentapus - teacher's pet earth au, sga, eight years later )

( kkpixie - something more, sga, immediately after arrival on atlantis, follows catch your breath )

( just for fun - looking glass, sv, nine months later )

It is cold. This is not helping the lungs. Also, the smokers now look at me mockingly and remind me, no, I can't smoke, and I keep wanting to walk over and breathe in the second hand to get a buzz which is BAD IDEA but God.

OTOH, it is very cold, so i am feeling the warmth of self-satisfaction that they all have to go outside and I can stay inside.

Honestly, of all the ways I thought I'd quit? Not so much this way.

Also, I got very awesome email this morning. It's like, I think lj drama is finally on a hiatus? Not so much.

Random Plotbunnies of Doom

1.) Still tempted toward writing The Bondage That Went Horribly, Horribly Wrong. And by tempted, I mean, wrote it, but no idea what to do with it. It can only go bad melodramatic places. That makes me happy, as I am in a bad melodramatic place. I blame eleveninches for not writing John/Kolya yet. I also blame society.

2.) McKay and Mrs. Miller AU - Rod got on my nerves a lot. There is a very real part of me that wants to follow him back to his AU, where Sheppard is a secret anorexic kleptomaniac who refuses to have sex with people who aren't Enlightened, Ascended, or In a Higher Realm of Existence (huh, like canon, strange), and Rod is going through a transitional self-mutilation phase to express his pain at being so very popular yet God, so alone in a crowd, and also, he keeps accidentally having really bad sex with really hot people. A part of me wants him to have been a cheerleader in college. It kind of scares me that I can see him with pom-poms.

Oh please, like half of you weren't slowly filleting him in your heads! I spent the entire episode wanting to tell Rodney DO NOT TRUST THE FREAKY SLICK GUY HE IS DARKNESS AND PROBABLY EATS BABIES. You know you like it.

3.) Eventually, I am going to write something that isn't crack. I just--the ones I want to work on, like Strangerverse, is depressing--no, seriously, I have to brace myself before I start, because that is like misery universe and after, I need chocolate and porn like no one's business because everyeone is so unhappy and not really getting better and seriously, what was I thinking?

4.) I'm tempted toward that what fandom would I be meme, except I think I'm that fandom that people never want to talk about, becuase the canon was alwasy fucked up and everyone hated each other. I am not a ball of happy consistency here.

5.) Below, scene from Teacher's Pet. Fairly self-contained, so I may end up leaving it alone and making the new one set after miss_porcupine and svmadelyn's next ones. This one's heavily mixed with miss_porcupine's Lorne povs, which is of the awesome. Set sometime after Jarhead. Tag for Teacher's Pet here.

( transitional )

It's one of those rare nights that we're both working on Teacher's Pet fic.

( it always goes to the place where we both feel dirty and by dirty, I mean, teen!John )

And--yeah. See? I do keep things up!

Thanks to svmadelyn and thepouncer for beta, amireal and lierdumoa for prereading and happy noises.

Earlier parts can be found here.

( sgafic: teacher's pet 9 )

Snippet from the next Teacher's Pet. svmadelyn started work on her part, and sadly, it's so much better. You should totally tell her to finish it.

( snippet, teacher's pet 9 or 10, depending on which of us posts first )

There was a really terrifying moment while talking to svmadelyn, sharing bunny stories, where it suddenly hit me--this is the entirety of my current conversational skills! I am one of those people. I have, in fact, become the crazy rabbit lady. Woman. Fangirl. Oh God, I am a rabbit fangirl.

Let's just list this out.

1.) Physically incapable of leaving a pet store without a new rabbit treat and/or toy.
2.) Angsting over vegetable combinations longer than it takes the rabbits to eat them.
3.) Obsessive house rabbit website reading.
4.) Sudden, inexplicable desire to build a small rabbit mansion out of Home Depot items. Like, say, wood. And nails. And hinges.

For those who don't get the absolute terror of this--many have read of me and dissecting the TV, the butterknife and the VCR, and the way I managed to install a DVD writer into Brian. Do any of you really, really think seeming me with a hammer can end any other way than with an ER visit and a cast?

Right.

The biggest issue is the food. Pellets! Evil! Pellets! Good! Lettuce! Evil! Lettuce! Good! Clover! Poison! Clover! Delicious! Never feed your rabbit bananas! Only buy hay from stables! YOU ARE KILLING YOUR FURRY FRIEND YOU ANTI-RABBIT WHORE.

Okay, they didn't say that, but by God, they implied. So I took them off pellets, then read at the official houserabbit website that they should have unlimited supplies and panicked, then there was alfalfa angst, and romaine-lettuce salads only, and frankly, the rabbits eat better than I do. I'm also picking up a wide collection of bunny claw scars, one of which is showing a case of mild infection. First vet appointment for Reggie the Netherlands Dwarf (I want to say Neanderthal *so much*), Bryante the Holland Lop, and Sloppy the Holland Lop (renamed by Sister Who Technically Owns But I Care For) are at teh end of the month. I am not looking forward to this in an epic way, but I do have a rabbit magazine (first joke gets you stepped on, I swear) and have highlighted relevant chapters to discuss.

And the less said about Bryante's hind leg nail clipping the better. Seriously. I'm hyperventilating over my rabbit's pain and terror while my mother stares at me blankly while trying to trance him and asking me if I need medical intervention. The paper bag did nicely.

And so half my flist doesn't defriend me into disgust--you advertised as fannish and now you are Twenty-Four Seven Rabbit!--a snippet from Teacher's Pet 8, still in production on my hard drive. And by production, I mean, it's sitting there, mocking me. This was originally written for svmadelyn, and--yeah, I'm not even going to try to commentary on this one. I'll just--be over here.

I can honestly state, however, that when I started? This is not where I ever expected to be.

( snippet for teacher's pet 9 )

So, Teacher's Pet. For reference.

one
two: Christmas edition
three
four: Ronon by svmadelyn

( teacher's pet, five )

I have never been so ashamed of myself in my life, and I'm including that thing I did where I stood on the couch in my pajams in front of over seventeen fangirls waving a wand that lit up and calling myself an Ancient.

No, there aren't pictures. Oh God, I hope there aren't pictures.

( in which we discover that Rodney's the soft touch of the family )

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and to all, a very good night.