I am trying to remember if I had a post planned for today and no, it's for Saturday when I have time to navel gaze like, super-intensely, or fake it after so much coffee.

So there's an about me meme going around, and it occurred to me--as I skipped all of 2017 on DW--that some things happened.

The first cut is a plain summary if you don't want to delve into My Epic Feelings About Anxiety Let Me Tell You About It. Trust me, it's a lot of words and I had feelings.

The second is the tumblr post I made and God was it hard to find, aka My Epic Feelings About Anxiety Let Me Tell You About It. There may be an earlier one? If anyone sees it, do tell.

(I also found my Story of Many Rabbits tumblr post! It will be posted as soon as I match up some pictures!)

very short version of my really shitty summer 2017 )

this is the tumblr version, posted March 29, 2018 because it took me a while to talk about this )
I have this irresistible urge to post snippets of never-to-be-finished fic. Then of course I look at my wip tag and twitch mightily. Very, very mightily.

I have more RAM. Yay!

When Bad CSS Happens to Hysterical People

My stylesheet inexplicably stopped obeying a class command thing. I get there is a hierarchy, yes, but note.

#content-div {border:1px}

apparently forever disallows

.mhead {border:1px solid #000000}

if both are div. However, if mhead is put to p, it *works*.

...why? WHY? AND WHAT THE HELL IS CONTENT-DIV AND WHY WHY WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THERE IN THE CODE WHEN IT DOES NOT APPEAR IN THE DOC?

It's like magic or something.

However, new favorite place:

http://www.w3schools.com/default.asp

The best part is after you read it, you click the little example thing and it shows you the code and you *alter it and see the result on the screen beside it*. It's like a miracle.

You can see my rage is still unabated.

When You Realize You Are Insane

Here's the funny part of my earlier nervous breakdown. It *works in IE*. And at work? WE CANNOT USE ANY OTHER BROWSER. So the only person that would ever, ever know is me. Ever. Ever. It was perfect in IE. To get it to work in firefox, I had to go back and re-work how to place an image, exact pixel a few things, and that's when the id/class debate in div appeared. I--do not even know how to deal with it other than to cry and recode all thirty something pages.

Life After Eternal Darkness

My boss got me a card that sings the Star Wars theme and has a Yoda quote on the front that says he appreciates me. It should not make me tear up and say I never need a raise. But it totally did.

God, he knows me.

Intersting

I called my doctor for permission to increase my number of doses for a few days temporarily. I do need it; I was not exactly surprised to find out that it's a lot easier to work on websites when I'm using it. I have a better retention, hence the fact I could write the above from memory. Actually, I can do most of it from memory now, which honestly I wasn't able to before. And I retain it between days, which is--really cool.

So I do know now it's not placebo--there is a definite difference in my ability to not only stay on a task and finish it, but also to see mistakes. And oddly, to not make them.

hmm )

EMRINALEXANDER!

How Awesome Is Nancy!

As you know, [livejournal.com profile] emrinalexander was hospitalized. She's recovering, but this has definitely put them back a bit in financial. Ami's putting togther a collection. Go to the link above on details.

Done

Now if only LJ will let me *post*.
Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007 11:41 am

gah, times three

Okay, it's like being in a game show with no monetary reward.

By it, I mean, pharmacists. And my doctor. And possibly caffeine.

so schedule II = misery. who knew? )
Friday, May 4th, 2007 09:12 am

new medication

So question for the day. I was going to restrict this to my flist, but I'm not sure how many are on this, so.

I started Ritalin yesterday. So far, it's actually a lot less stressful than ephedrine and I'm not irritable or jumpy like I worried I'd be. And I do feel more energized adn more able to focus. But Im not sure I'm seeing a real change in concentration yet.

I'm also aware placebo effect is in force here, so I'm trying to be objective and track what's actually happening as opposed to what I really want to happen. I'm 20 MG twice a day.

So. Share? Please?
So thought. Walking into GNC, I actually am the equivalent of a wounded antelope on the savannah of vitamins and healthy living among jackals of salespeople who try to sell me papaya pills and more B-complex.

Papaya pills. Jesus.

I somehow--no idea how--got a new thing of multivitamins, and I have to admit, either the placebo effect is really amazing or the last two days, I have felt more energetic and less likely to not wnat to move, sloth-like, from my bed for long periods of time. My credit cards shiver in horror now, because seriously, New Year sales. I want to shop. Which explains why in the last week I have purchased three new pairs of shoes, a large bottle of Lingonberry concentrate (I think?), a new router (rabbit chewed through cord--seriously, do not ASK), two lamps (one for Child! Really! It's colorful!), and controlled the urge to use my Victoria Secret card in inappropriate ways involvign really awesome designer bras.

I lost my train of thought. Right. Papaya pills. Did not buy them.

I actually went in for Siberian Ginseng, ended up getting a three-ginseng and something else and me staring at what looks like powdered leaves in a large gelatin capsule. They also hinted heavily that I was a prime candidate for--I have no idea what it was, but it was in a very large bottle and scared me.

Seriously. Papaya pills?

I think the ginseng is making me slightly irritable? But I'll need to check and make sure. I can honestly state I am *really* energetic, in the vibration state. Not unpleasant, but a tiny bit disconcerting.

Other Things

Second draft of fic done. I am just amazed I actually finished something and even got it beta'ed. Like, a lot. And it has to do it again! Though to be fair, I changed enough and moevd enough stuff around from the first draft that it needs it, to make sure I didn't screw up my own continuity.

More Other Things

Work boring. Send help. Or you know, porn.

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  • If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
    . -- Unknown, on feedback
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  • That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
    Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
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  • Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
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    LJ
  • Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
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    Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
    Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
    Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
    Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
    -- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
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    -- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
    LJ, 4/2/2004
  • silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
    silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
    silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
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    -- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
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  • You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
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    LJ, 3/15/2005
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    LJ, 7/22/2005
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    -- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
    LJ, 2/7/2006
  • Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
    -- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
    LJ, 4/13/2006
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    LJ, 9/1/2007
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