the spam effect

There's something horribly sad about my spam for the last year, which makes me wonder if there's something to be said for society being reflected in their spam. Since the economy did its thing last year, my spam is almost exclusively refinancing and stock spam, with a sprinkling of non-sex related self-improvement (white teeth! better bod! new career! Something else!). However, recently, finally, someone asked if I wanted a bigger penis FOUR INCHES IN FOUR DAYS, and that put me in a better mood. Our economy is recovering--we can afford bigger penises. The amount of IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE is also going up, which makes me happy, though admittedly I kind of hope for a hybridized PENIS WILL GROW FOUR INCHES WITH OUR REFINANCING DEAL, and it might even be true if you're in foreclosure. Libidos work better with lower stress.

Gmail and yahoo are exclusive victims of Pfizer drugs, however; for the life of me, I cannot figure that one out. I mean, they're not like, cool drugs or anything. LOWER YOUR CHOLESTEROL WITH DRUGS FROM MEXICO/CANADA/COUNTRY I DID NOT KNOW EXISTED, which really, that is not tempting me to click here. Something that said CREATES TIMESPACE RIP TO GET EVERYTHING DONE EVERY DAY, now that shit I am on. WILL MAKE YOUR BOSS LESS IRRITATING or WILL EXPLAIN HOW TO ACTIVATE VIERA LINK ON TV IN SMALL WORDS, those are some drugs I could get behind. WILL IMPROVE YOUR ABILITY TO DO MATH, get me some of that. FIXES YOUR GODDAMN PERL SCRIPT ERROR. Hell yes. WILL HELP FINISH YULETIDE STORY GUARANTEED WITHOUT SPELLING ERRORS--I have friends who would be all over that. WILL NEVER NEED SPELLCHECK AGAIN fuck yes, please, send me that one, from Mexico or Mars, I am there.

As society continues not to deal with these very pressing issues, no, I am not buying your drugs from Mexico, thanks.

I haven't recced in a while, but I want to toss this one out: And Play a Favorite Song by linzeestyle, AIRPS, Adam/Kris. Linzee's style is usually faintly melancholy (to me), which isn't at all a bad thing, but this one surprised me with a richly detailed, complicated emotional landscape that tipped over toward hope and the wonder of falling in love in all the ways it can be terrifying and amazing both, realistic and carefully optimistic. Even if AI isn't your thing, in the end, it's two people who in love, uncertain, terrified, and in the end, joyful.

I don't walk out of many stories feeling this good, but this has been a multiple re-read that never fails to make me happier than I was when I started.

Now must go and check on children, as Child and Niece are tying each other to the exercise bike in a series of ever more complicated poses that make me wonder if they have bones. Niece is a stick and Child is--well, not a stick at all, to put it bluntly. And yet.

Comments

[cobweb-diamond.livejournal.com]

I'm always unnerved by the lack of specificity in the FOUR INCHES IN FOUR DAYS ads. Four inches where and how? Also, four days seems alarmingly fast.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*nods* The skin stretching. I mean, honestly, the biggest fear is it would work and just the scarring on fragile tissue? The tearing? And do they mean length or width? Because seriously, I see a 4+ inch wide penis, I do not care about the theoretical stretching of the vaginal cavity, I have given birth and sex should not bear a marked resemblance in reverse, you know?

Huh. So there goes my libido for a bit. *watches it hide and waves sadly*

[innocentsmith.livejournal.com]

I think I'm fondest of the found-poetry spam. Or the ones where they've exerpted random sentences from books. Today I got a message reading:

The feminine society world welcomed him gladly, because he was rich, distinguished, a good match, and almost a newcomer, with a halo of romance on account of his supposed death and the tragic loss of his wife.

Felina playing with a big black dildo. [link]

His company, ambushed and cut up by a tribe of hostile indians, perished to a man.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

It's like a stream-of-consciousness peyote-induced poem. *thoughtful* With dildos.

[innocentsmith.livejournal.com]

Some of it is really kind of evocative.

Subject: Contraband

Cabral appears to have steered so boldly into the west that he fell in with the coast of brazil.

Try it for good luck [link]

I saw him give the cross to one of the veterans. The others tried to swim on, some in the saddle and some clinging to their horses manes.

A man died shaking my hand.

Evocative of what, I couldn't tell you. Still.

[cyberducks.livejournal.com]

I get both cool spam - Design Within Reach (what a misnomer!) CB2 etc. hawking their wares, and really uncool spam from the usual suspects. And oodles of netflix mail.

Waves hi! Friended you a while ago because of your Due South fic.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*waves* Nice to meet you!

What is Design Within Reach? *stares at spam folder in betrayal*

[cyberducks.livejournal.com]

http://www.dwr.com/category/find+a+studio/annex.do

supposedly "affordable" modern designed items (mostly furniture) - which is so expensive that I cannot afford it.

[opusnone.livejournal.com]

Somehow, I have made it onto list offering hot times with hot hunky bears which has puzzled me to no end. Are these Smokey/Yogi sex tapes? Is there something my parents and gynecologists have been hiding from me? I guess it beats the christian dating service list I was on years ago - one would thing they would have a "...witz" filter.

I could definitely get behind a few doses of CREATES TIMESPACE RIP TO GET EVERYTHING DONE EVERY DAY even if came from a country I've never heard of. As long as the shipping was reasonable.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Oh man, hunky bears? I did get spam from an adult gay website a while back too, but I don't remember anything else about it. It was not a pleasant site, let me put it that way.

The shipping might be problematic. *thoughtful* I didn't think of that.

[jamesinboots.livejournal.com]

The amount of IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE is also going up, which makes me happy, though admittedly I kind of hope for a hybridized PENIS WILL GROW FOUR INCHES WITH OUR REFINANCING DEAL, and it might even be true if you're in foreclosure. Libidos work better with lower stress.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL. That's hilarious. And would be AMAZING. Why don't people bundle spam more? It might actually find its way into people's inboxes. :P

[naughtyoldlady.livejournal.com]

My all-time favorite was "Increase your breast and penis size!"

Really? BOTH???

[deadlychameleon.livejournal.com]

And for Christmas:

http://www.spam.com/shop/default.aspx

[hodudududuh.livejournal.com]

I recently got a spam message in German, which makes me feel awesome and cultured (but no, I'm not, in fact, interested in becoming a salesman for unnamed company #5179872, even if it would allow me to exercise one of my foreign languages).

Thing is, I don't know how I got it, seeing as I don't travel in German-speaking circles on the internet, and if I did, I wouldn't be using that e-mail address anyway. It boggles the mind.