seperis | if wishes were horses, i'd just need one horse.

I need to...vent. But I have a feeling that if I start now, it won't stop until the end of time and creation. And yet.

1.) A new job opened in my unit. It's a promotion. I have seniority and experience and I should definitely be in the running if not get it altogether and I know I won't be. And yet I will still humiliate myself by applying. Because that's fun for me.

2.) For the next big build, I was only assigned two program modifications to plan and am assisting on another one in planning. I have a few less tests. One of the mods is tiny. The second mod I'm planning and the one I'm assisting on are the same thing and massively huge. But I don't know if the size justifies the fewer tests or if they're like, cutting my workload which only sounds nice until you realize it's because they think you're incompetent. Which--I have no idea. I mean, I can't tell. The alchemy of the assignment list is a mystery to me.

3.) At some point, I lost patience with paranoid girlfriends and paranoid boyfriends and paranoid SOs. I am not interested in your boyfriend, brother, sister, or SO; tbh, I cannot remember their names. I just like to talk to them on break. I am not a supermodel and honest to God, I barely qualify as not a visual atrocity most days. What. The. Fuck?

Seriously, my life is a fucking flashback to not being picked for kickball every goddamn day. It's like being a metaphorical leper. And it's not like I am famous for having rock-solid self-esteem or like, confidence, so fuck everything.

4. - 6.) Family (not Child; Child continues to be awesome and evil)

You know, vacation may not be a good thing for me; I come back in a fantastic mood, refreshed and ready to go and then...this. I suspect--just a bit--that I kind of fail at life. This is not, I think, a new thing.

If you were wondering why I am posting less? Yeah. This is why.

Quotes

If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
. -- Unknown, on feedback
BTS List
That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
AIM, 3/25/2004
Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
Twitter
I will unashamedly and unapologetically celebrate the joy and the warmth and the creativity of a community of people sharing something positive and beautiful and connective and if you don’t like it you are most welcome to very fuck off.
-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
Twitter, 6/19/2019
Adding for Mastodon.
-- Jenn, traceback
Fosstodon, 11/6/2022

if wishes were horses, i'd just need one horse.

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