[livejournal.com profile] amireal linked me, because she is awesome.

Sex Toys Are Finally Legal in Texas

I would like to propose to my fellow Texans that your duty is to go out and buy in a show of support for this groundbreaking legislation. So go. Go buy your dildos and buttpluts and vibrators. Find the thing that synchs to iTunes and still freaks me out (seriously. iTunes. Plugin. No words). Get lube, in many colors and many flavors. Find zen with latex. Rekindle passion with the--egg things. Discover better living through electronics and plastic and glass and metal and you know. Other stuff. That I still can't name.

This, my fellow Texans, is your duty. And please remember which are dishwasher safe adn read the directions or something. Some of those have more functions than my laptop and possibly an independent intelligence. Seriously, have you see the buttons on that remote control thing? Probably needs formal training.

Right. Go. Be--um. Ecstatic.

Write porn with one or more of these things. Oh come on, most of you would do it anyway.



He's not even sure how long it's been--the slow, lazy warmth of John's mouth, teasingly light, followed with sharp suction that has him arching off the bed, losing time to the slow, even thrust of the dildo John's using to open his ass one slow inch at a time, hollowing him out and filling him with every breath. Fingers digging into the pillow, Rodney pants out pleas he's not even sure are words, salty air washing across his naked skin while John slowly licks his cock, blowing gently on the tip to make Rodney twist, pushing toward it only to feel hands on his hips, pushing him deeper into the mattress.

When John goes down on him, pulling him into his throat, Rodney wants to ask how much longer, but he's scared of what John might answer.
John didn’t know what he had done to deserve this.

This slow, sensuous torture.

They had been at this for hours, it seemed and any second now he was going to burst out of his skin, it was just too much.

He had been pushed against a wall and devoured the second he entered the room. Rodney’s mouth hot and wet against his, ripping his shirt over his head, sucking on his neck, his collarbone, whispering, “So fucking pretty, so hot. Do you have any idea how crazy you make me?”

Teeth scraping across his nipples once “Slouching in meetings so that I can see every inch of your body”, twice, over and over again until he wanted to scream. Just before he could, moving on, moving down, “Making me so hard I can’t even concentrate and then smirking about it?”

Hands working quickly on his BDU’s while Rodney, lips brushing over his abs left wet trails across him stomach. Easing his cock out, “I’m gonna make you pay. Make you scream. Make you beg. Until you don’t remember anything except my name” and then practically swallowing him whole.

It left him scrambling for purchase against the wall, trying to hold himself up when his knees threatened to collapse on him. oh god so good, so hot and perfect. Just enough suction to drive him crazy, then easing off. Down and then up, down and up in a maddening rhythm, tongue pausing sometimes to flick that bundle of nerves just under the head that made him see stars.

He was so distracted by Rodney’s mouth that he barely noticed Rodney’s hands, gripping his ass, kneading, pressing, holding him open. But then there was a finger, wet with lube, sliding down his cleft. Circling around and around his hole. Pushing in, slowly, oh so slowly to the first knuckle and then further, inch by freaking inch.

John’s body trembled on the edge, fighting the urge to thrust. Against the finger in his ass, working in and out so steadily; against the mouth devouring him with such skill. But Rodney held his hips in place, fingers pressing hard enough to leave bruises above his hip bones that he was going to feel tomorrow. John moaned at the thought, of walking the halls of Atlantis, people all around him, feeling the marks of Rodney’s hands on his body.

When Rodney added a second finger inside him he started babbling, “Please Rodney... faster, oh god harder, just.... anything, please”.

Not that begging did him any good.

Rodney moved at his own pace, languidly sucking his dick, not letting him come. When John groaned he shifted, smiling up at him obscenely, lips so red and wet, before returning to sucking his brains out through his dick. Moving his fingers inside of John, opening him up, seeking out and finding that one place that made him shudder, waves of pleasure moving up his spine.

At that John broke, whimpered and begged, “Please...I’m... I’m so ready, so open for you.... I need you inside me now.”

He was so close; he could feel it, building at the back of his spine, rushing up to meet him. He wanted Rodney with him when it happened. And when Rodney removed his fingers, John thought he had got his wish. But the fingers were immediately replaced with something else almost immediately.

Not Rodney’s cock, because he was still on his knees in front of John but something else entirely. Something thinner, and smoother. And infinitely cooler than the heat of his body.

God it was the dildo, the heavy glass one, Rodney had bought on his last trip to earth. They had not had a chance yet to use it but oh god it felt... that coolness entering his body was making him break out in a sweat. And Rodney had stopped sucking him but John didn’t even care because he was watching John, completely enthralled, eyes shining with lust, blown out with awe. Watching johns face as he fucked him with it, and his hand thrusting it inside, watching it slowly disappear inside John’s body, moving so slowly but sliding so easily.

It was so fucking hot.

“Rodney... fuck, please”, John moaned and Rodney must have been waiting for that because on the next thrust Rodney pushed it in hard, at just the right angle and whispered “Come for me, John” and it was all over. John came so hard he thought he would white out, come painting his belly and Rodney’s hands.

Almost immediately he sagged against Rodney, who lowered him to the rug on the ground. In a haze he watched as Rodney frantically tore at the front of his own pants, whimpering in frustration. When he was finally free Rodney moved over John, lowering himself over his body, the weight so delicious, so that he could thrust himself into the hot space between John’s thighs, his face against his neck whispering a litany of ‘John’ and ‘so hot’ and ‘fuck’. One stroke...two...three... and Rodney too was coming, shuddering and moaning, wrapped helplessly in John’s arms.

For a second they just lay there, dazed and exhausted. John didn’t think he had the energy to move at all and he figured Rodney was the same. They should not fall asleep on the floor, Rodney’s back certainly wouldn’t thank him but they were warm and sated and the rug was comfortable, so he let himself go.

And just as he fell asleep he heard Rodney say sleepily, “I hope you learnt your lesson” and he drifted off with a smile on his face.
*snerk* And what lesson would that be? That teasing Rodney at meetings will get him laid, spectacularly? :D
if john didnt know it already, he has learnt it now :D
Yes. That John will do this at every meeting ever. *nodnodnod* Good lesson.
john is a very slow learner :D

p.s. i dont think i mentioned this before but that porn snippet of yours akjsh;ghda;h omgsohot! um yeah. i cant believe you managed to turn me incoherent with so few words.

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