[livejournal.com profile] amireal linked me, because she is awesome.

Sex Toys Are Finally Legal in Texas

I would like to propose to my fellow Texans that your duty is to go out and buy in a show of support for this groundbreaking legislation. So go. Go buy your dildos and buttpluts and vibrators. Find the thing that synchs to iTunes and still freaks me out (seriously. iTunes. Plugin. No words). Get lube, in many colors and many flavors. Find zen with latex. Rekindle passion with the--egg things. Discover better living through electronics and plastic and glass and metal and you know. Other stuff. That I still can't name.

This, my fellow Texans, is your duty. And please remember which are dishwasher safe adn read the directions or something. Some of those have more functions than my laptop and possibly an independent intelligence. Seriously, have you see the buttons on that remote control thing? Probably needs formal training.

Right. Go. Be--um. Ecstatic.

Write porn with one or more of these things. Oh come on, most of you would do it anyway.



He's not even sure how long it's been--the slow, lazy warmth of John's mouth, teasingly light, followed with sharp suction that has him arching off the bed, losing time to the slow, even thrust of the dildo John's using to open his ass one slow inch at a time, hollowing him out and filling him with every breath. Fingers digging into the pillow, Rodney pants out pleas he's not even sure are words, salty air washing across his naked skin while John slowly licks his cock, blowing gently on the tip to make Rodney twist, pushing toward it only to feel hands on his hips, pushing him deeper into the mattress.

When John goes down on him, pulling him into his throat, Rodney wants to ask how much longer, but he's scared of what John might answer.

From: [identity profile] touchstoneaf.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 05:32 am (UTC)
i wonder if those things are legal yet in my good ole home state of Idaho...

puritans.

From: [identity profile] amireal.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 05:36 am (UTC)
*glows*

From: [identity profile] amireal.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 05:51 am (UTC)
*continues*

The slide in stills time like taffy, endless and almost too sweet and firm but too good to stop. Rodney's legs spread wider and his ass clenches, wanting it deeper and faster and more, everything more.

John's mouth moves up, his lips wet and swollen and like sex all by themselves as they slide back down nudging Rodney up another step towards infinity.

"YesIcan'tpleasegodgoodI--" John's hand twists and something not unlike ecstasy shoots through Rodney hard and fast and his breath hitches in a shocked gasp.

John smiles and does it again, lips curving perfectly over Rodney's cock.

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 05:57 am (UTC)
mmmmyes.
ext_1541: (Default)

From: [identity profile] summertea.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 05:51 am (UTC)
*wipes tears from eyes* I'm so proud of you guys! All grown up and buying sex toys!
ext_3058: (Default)

From: [identity profile] deadlychameleon.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 05:52 am (UTC)
It is very obvious that they are legal in PA. Obvious all along the I-15 corridor where there are many truckers. Seriously, the skanky sex shops are thick on the ground. Some aren't bad, though. ;-)

From: [identity profile] everagaby.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 08:58 am (UTC)
It is very obvious that they are legal in PA.

Oh, hells yes. Three words: South Street, Philadelphia

From: [identity profile] porntestpilot.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 02:58 pm (UTC)
I have been in every sex shop on South Street in one day. That was hilarious. Especially the sperm painted on the sidewalk.

From: [identity profile] everagaby.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 07:23 pm (UTC)
Oh, the joys of Condom Kingdom. I especially like the cartoon sperm migrating towards the giant egg dome at the back of the shop.

From: [identity profile] shrewreader.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 03:24 pm (UTC)

yay South Street!!!

From: [identity profile] paradise-city.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 04:43 pm (UTC)
That was definitely one of the things I missed when I moved from PA to TX. It just doesn't feel like home if there isn't a plethora of skanky sex shops.
ext_34824: (I Love Las Vegas by miggy)

From: [identity profile] miss-tress.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 05:56 am (UTC)
Welcome to sin!

From: [identity profile] tex.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 05:57 am (UTC)
There goes my last reason for NOT having a vibrator. Next time I go to the big city, I may have to do something about that. *g*

From: [identity profile] djinanna.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 06:03 am (UTC)
Sometimes I have to stop and check a calendar to be sure what century we're in now.

From: [identity profile] joesther.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 06:08 am (UTC)
*is nervous*

He sighs and pushes in again slowly as he looks at the young man spread across his desk, his face flushed, his lips wet and swollen from Jack's kisses, his tie still around his naked neck, the knot now beginning to come loose. The silver ring around his cock and balls is pulling now, pulling at the stretched skin, and the red and dripping cock releases another drop of shiny fluid across the tip and onto his sweaty and already-wet stomach.

"Jack, I have to come," Ianto begs in a whisper, his arms coming up and crossing over his face in a desperate attempt to hide, to regain some measure of control over his body. They've been fucking like this for nearly a quarter of an hour and every time Ianto gets close to coming, every time he begs to have the ring removed, Jack gently pushes his hands away.

"In a minute, Ianto," Jack breathes quietly, pushing in yet again. Ianto is so tight, so hot around his cock and Jack starts to speed up his thrusts, pushing in again, running his hands around Ianto's torso and pulling him up into a hot, wet kiss.

As his tongue fucks Ianto's mouth, so too does his cock fuck his arse, speeding up the tempo with each thrust until finally Jack removes the cockring with a click of his fingers, pushing in once, twice, three times more as he comes deep into Ianto, the heat milking every drop out of him. Ianto breaks, flinging his arms to the sides of the desk and grabbing on tightly as he releases his come onto his belly and groans in relief.

I haven't written smut in years, and I've never written Jack/Ianto. Be nice to me. :)
edited at: Date: 2008-03-04 06:15 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 06:21 am (UTC)
Ooooooooooooh.

From: [identity profile] yarnaddict.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 07:16 am (UTC)
Oh my. *fans self* Um. Yummy? Yes.

From: [identity profile] sapphiresmuse.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 06:50 am (UTC)
Um.

If you all buy glow-in-the-dark dildos and vibrators, then you can wave them in the air at political rallies.

Or.

Well.

Pound them up and down. Up. Down. Up. Down. Rhythmically. In tune. To, you know, whatever the theme song is at said political rally.

And, gosh, I sure hope these things are legal where I live or else, well, I'm living illegally. ;)

I'm also guessing you don't get that QVC type show on your local channels in the early hours on Sunday mornings that sells . . . toys. It's . . . imformative . . . seeing all those things wiggling around and moving in-and-out. My John muse has caught my Rodney muse watching the show a few times. It usually results in . . . *activity*.

And I think I've said enough.
It wasn't the first time that they'd done this, but it was definitely the first time that John had been the one that asked for it, instigated it. Rodney was currently using that information ruthlessly, teasing John's hole with the occasional brush of silicone. John's pretty sure that the time between brushes was being created by a perfect random number generator in Rodney's head. John was trying to figure out an equation for it when he felt the head of the dildo slip in, just a little bit.

"How long?"

Rodney's voice was muffled a bit from where he was biting constellations onto John's chest, his hips and thighs.

John responded by clenching his teeth against the groan that was building up, fingers clenched on the edge of the mattress where Rodney had put them earlier. "Like this," he's said, hot against John's mouth. "Keep them like this."

"How long," Rodney repeated, pushing the toy in another quarter of an inch, far too slowly, "how long were you thinking about this before you finally asked me?"

John let his head fall back against the pillow, panting as Rodney teased him, not moving the dildo in farther, just tilting it, turning it enough to make John buck his hips against Rodney's bulk.

"Was it hours? Days? Since last night when I fucked you up against the wall?"

John groaned and let himself finally give up, words pushing forward. "Since last time. God, Rodney since the last time you-"

Rodney kisses him, pushing unyielding silicone in slowly, inexorably, in all the way. Rodney's mouth against his shoulder, smug smile and a sharp bite of teeth makes John think maybe, next time, he won't wait so long to ask.
Just a minute ago, I was feeling a bit chilly. Now, not so much. ;)
Hee! So much cheaper than central heating...
arhiodgh3knsdioug3ehe

yeah. That was good for me.
Passes you a cigarette It's always a job well done when you can make people nonverbal.

From: [identity profile] percysowner.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 11:28 am (UTC)
Well to be fair, butt plugs were always legal in Texas see the Dildo Diaries" (http://feministing.com/archives/005806.html)

Doing my duty as a Texan

From: [identity profile] devin-chain.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 11:28 am (UTC)
Today's to do list:

-vote in primary
-work
-buy shiny, legal blown-glass dildo
-caucus

*wipes tear* I'm just so durned proud of my state. *sniffle*

From: [identity profile] mockingbirdq.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 12:00 pm (UTC)
Texans who wanted to have always managed to buy sex toys anyway. THere's an interesting place in Dallas called Fine Arts North where porn stars walk around nude and sign guests' body parts @_@

THe law didn't really affect the patrons, only the poor clerks - who were often arrested in police raids for selling obscene material. Note that the clerks were arrested and fined, not the owners!

This lead to buttplugs and other devices being labeled with the following on every package: "This item is a cake topper for decorative purposes. It is not sold for human use." I saw this label once on a 14 inch double sided dildo and wondered what kind of cake it would be designed for ;)

From: [identity profile] spvinter.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 01:27 pm (UTC)
I saw this label once on a 14 inch double sided dildo and wondered what kind of cake it would be designed for ;)

An awesome cake, that's what! \o/

OMG, but seriously? Cake toppers? I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. ^_^
fyrdrakken: (Beauty)

From: [personal profile] fyrdrakken Date: 2008-03-04 04:55 pm (UTC)
Yes, either cake toppers or "novelty massagers."

From: [identity profile] everagaby.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 07:27 pm (UTC)
You still get the "novelty toy" label a lot in PA. You walk into a South Street shop and about half of the stuff has, in teeeeny little print, "This is a novelty toy, not for personal use." I find it amusing.

From: [identity profile] kassrachel.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 12:46 pm (UTC)
That little snip of porn deserves this icon, for sure. I mean -- damn.

I don't live in Texas anymore, but I'll be visiting my folks there in a couple of months. Now I am tempted to buy my next vibrator there, just because I can! :-)

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 04:03 pm (UTC)
*nods wildly* Support sex toy sales!

From: [identity profile] elzybub.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 12:59 pm (UTC)
So I live in Texas and I knew about it being illegal to own more than six but I did not know that it was illegal to own them for "sexual purposes". I even know some people here who own them. Huh.

From: [identity profile] hobbit-feet.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 02:35 pm (UTC)
As I am a Texan currently in England right now I'm going to have to save my sex toy buying for when I get back to Houston. *g*

From: [identity profile] ladyflowdi.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 02:44 pm (UTC)
Sex Toys Are Finally Legal in Texas

Heee, then I've been living on the wrong side of the law! I feel all rebellious. See! Texas can be, uh, forward thinking. Or something.

Also, how does your wee paragraph o' porn manage to be way hotter than most of the full length fics I've read in the last two weeks? ::bows down:: You are made of awesome, m'dear.

From: [identity profile] porntestpilot.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 03:00 pm (UTC)
They were definitely selling sex toys in Dallas when I lived there. Right next to the cigar shop.

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 03:04 pm (UTC)
*smiles* THey sell them in Austin, too.
John didn’t know what he had done to deserve this.

This slow, sensuous torture.

They had been at this for hours, it seemed and any second now he was going to burst out of his skin, it was just too much.

He had been pushed against a wall and devoured the second he entered the room. Rodney’s mouth hot and wet against his, ripping his shirt over his head, sucking on his neck, his collarbone, whispering, “So fucking pretty, so hot. Do you have any idea how crazy you make me?”

Teeth scraping across his nipples once “Slouching in meetings so that I can see every inch of your body”, twice, over and over again until he wanted to scream. Just before he could, moving on, moving down, “Making me so hard I can’t even concentrate and then smirking about it?”

Hands working quickly on his BDU’s while Rodney, lips brushing over his abs left wet trails across him stomach. Easing his cock out, “I’m gonna make you pay. Make you scream. Make you beg. Until you don’t remember anything except my name” and then practically swallowing him whole.

It left him scrambling for purchase against the wall, trying to hold himself up when his knees threatened to collapse on him. oh god so good, so hot and perfect. Just enough suction to drive him crazy, then easing off. Down and then up, down and up in a maddening rhythm, tongue pausing sometimes to flick that bundle of nerves just under the head that made him see stars.

He was so distracted by Rodney’s mouth that he barely noticed Rodney’s hands, gripping his ass, kneading, pressing, holding him open. But then there was a finger, wet with lube, sliding down his cleft. Circling around and around his hole. Pushing in, slowly, oh so slowly to the first knuckle and then further, inch by freaking inch.

John’s body trembled on the edge, fighting the urge to thrust. Against the finger in his ass, working in and out so steadily; against the mouth devouring him with such skill. But Rodney held his hips in place, fingers pressing hard enough to leave bruises above his hip bones that he was going to feel tomorrow. John moaned at the thought, of walking the halls of Atlantis, people all around him, feeling the marks of Rodney’s hands on his body.

When Rodney added a second finger inside him he started babbling, “Please Rodney... faster, oh god harder, just.... anything, please”.

Not that begging did him any good.

Rodney moved at his own pace, languidly sucking his dick, not letting him come. When John groaned he shifted, smiling up at him obscenely, lips so red and wet, before returning to sucking his brains out through his dick. Moving his fingers inside of John, opening him up, seeking out and finding that one place that made him shudder, waves of pleasure moving up his spine.

At that John broke, whimpered and begged, “Please...I’m... I’m so ready, so open for you.... I need you inside me now.”

He was so close; he could feel it, building at the back of his spine, rushing up to meet him. He wanted Rodney with him when it happened. And when Rodney removed his fingers, John thought he had got his wish. But the fingers were immediately replaced with something else almost immediately.

Not Rodney’s cock, because he was still on his knees in front of John but something else entirely. Something thinner, and smoother. And infinitely cooler than the heat of his body.

God it was the dildo, the heavy glass one, Rodney had bought on his last trip to earth. They had not had a chance yet to use it but oh god it felt... that coolness entering his body was making him break out in a sweat. And Rodney had stopped sucking him but John didn’t even care because he was watching John, completely enthralled, eyes shining with lust, blown out with awe. Watching johns face as he fucked him with it, and his hand thrusting it inside, watching it slowly disappear inside John’s body, moving so slowly but sliding so easily.

It was so fucking hot.

“Rodney... fuck, please”, John moaned and Rodney must have been waiting for that because on the next thrust Rodney pushed it in hard, at just the right angle and whispered “Come for me, John” and it was all over. John came so hard he thought he would white out, come painting his belly and Rodney’s hands.

Almost immediately he sagged against Rodney, who lowered him to the rug on the ground. In a haze he watched as Rodney frantically tore at the front of his own pants, whimpering in frustration. When he was finally free Rodney moved over John, lowering himself over his body, the weight so delicious, so that he could thrust himself into the hot space between John’s thighs, his face against his neck whispering a litany of ‘John’ and ‘so hot’ and ‘fuck’. One stroke...two...three... and Rodney too was coming, shuddering and moaning, wrapped helplessly in John’s arms.

For a second they just lay there, dazed and exhausted. John didn’t think he had the energy to move at all and he figured Rodney was the same. They should not fall asleep on the floor, Rodney’s back certainly wouldn’t thank him but they were warm and sated and the rug was comfortable, so he let himself go.

And just as he fell asleep he heard Rodney say sleepily, “I hope you learnt your lesson” and he drifted off with a smile on his face.
*snerk* And what lesson would that be? That teasing Rodney at meetings will get him laid, spectacularly? :D
if john didnt know it already, he has learnt it now :D
Yes. That John will do this at every meeting ever. *nodnodnod* Good lesson.
john is a very slow learner :D

p.s. i dont think i mentioned this before but that porn snippet of yours akjsh;ghda;h omgsohot! um yeah. i cant believe you managed to turn me incoherent with so few words.
ext_21468: (dexter)

From: [identity profile] dameange.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 03:59 pm (UTC)
wait, i'm confused. if sex toys are illegal in texas, how do all those sex shops stay open in houston? my friends and i have bought many a sex toy in those houston shops.

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 04:05 pm (UTC)
They still sold them. Just as educational aids. *g* Like buying a bong.

From: [identity profile] harpinred.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 04:02 pm (UTC)
Wow, I learned something new! ;)

Seriously though, this was quite hot.

From: [identity profile] nestra.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 04:32 pm (UTC)
This is like the best thread ever.

From: [identity profile] rogue-planet.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-04 05:53 pm (UTC)
Hey, the Ohmibod is AWESOME, not scary.

From: [identity profile] quinn222.livejournal.com Date: 2008-03-05 09:50 am (UTC)
veeerrrry nice!

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