shiny

Gakked from chicklet_girl:

MightyGodKing answers a "Nice Guy" Rant. By nice guy, we mean creepy. By MightyGodKing, we mean sexiest blog in western civilization.

From the blog:

Firstly, “douchebag” is one word, not two. So this Formerly Nice Guy lacks grammar and writing skills. No wonder he never gets laid. Doesn’t he know that chicks dig a dude with mad grammar skills? They are after me all the time to show me how I cleft a gerund, it makes them fucking swoon, it does.

In the words of chicklet_girl: I totes want to meet MGK so we can discuss gerunds. And by "discuss gerunds," I mean "fuck like banshees."

Hell. And yes.

Comments

[libitina]

*loves*

[seperis.livejournal.com]

God I know. I have never spent an article murmuring "Take me now" so many times.

[libitina]

While I was cheering the whole time, it really was the part with the gerunds that gave me the sudden need to climb into his lap.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Hell. Yes. I want him to diagram sentences plz. In chocolate. On me.

[monanotlisa.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this! God, how I have been waiting for some delicious SMACKDOWN of this sort.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*NODNODNOD*

[anjak-j.livejournal.com]

MGK FTW!

[seperis.livejournal.com]

HE FILLS ME WITH HOPE.

[niqaeli]

\o/

I think what makes me want to throw up in my mouth the most about this sort of "Nice Guy" is the sheer fucking entitlement complex. He *deserves* sex with a hot chick simply because he exists! It is his *right* as a *man*.

...yeah, no, not so much.

Sadly, I know a guy like this. He's not quite as obsequious as a lot of these Creepy McStalkers but he has the attitude of entitlement that makes me want to strangle people. No! No! No one deserves hot sex! No one deserves anything! The world is fundamentally not fair. Anyone can improve himself and become likable and thereby carve out for himself an awesome life that might, possibly, include a girlfriend--but he does not get it handed on a platter, and certainly not just because he exists and has a dick. (The sad irony of it all is, despite the entitlement issues, these people have the self-esteem--in the original sense of the word, ie, personal evaluation of actual worth and ability--of a puddle of mud.)

Not that this is something that pisses me off or anything! I hate entitlement complexes so, so much in all their myriad forms.

And MGK wins a fucking internet for getting this.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

It's always *hot girls*, you notice that? Nice Guys have no interest in Nice Girls, Smart Girls, Awesome Girls, Any Kind of Girl But--it's the hot girls.

That just--it's a quick and fast way to totally throw them off my list. Which is funny, because the "jerks" they speak of with the success and the etc--that I've met--are the ones who rarely the ones who are looking for "hot". What they want, and what the girls who date and marry them know, is that hot is far down the list of qualities they look for.

...then again, I always get furious at the nerdy guy/hot model thing too. While it's cute and funny, it also says something; that the ultimate goal of any man is the physical attractiveness factor. You don't see a lot of Nerdy but Awesome Guys and Smart Yet Not a Supermodel romances, you know? Not unless they are converting the Smart Yet not a Supermodel into Smart Yet Also Supermodel.

I am totally overthinking. Uh, word?

[niqaeli]

Yeah, that also pisses me off endlessly. The fact that it is important she be hot. Looks are not, you know, irrelevant--there has to be an element of attraction. But they're not the fucking be-all, end-all, and much of it can be made up for just by taking just a little bit of pride in how you look. Dressing in clothes that fit properly and keeping your hair neat, etc.

I wish there were a lot more stories about the Nerdy but Hysterically Funny Guy and his Smart, Okay-Looking Girlfriend. Or the Successful Businessman Who Plays XBox 360 In His Spare Time and his Entrepreneur Wife With A Successful Boutique Who Doesn't Get The Gaming Thing But Doesn't Care Because He Doesn't Care About Her Slash Habit.

Or wackier yet, maybe some stories about the Pretty But Not Gorgeous Career/School-Driven Woman and her Attractive In His Odd Way That Is Not Hollywood Pretty-boy And Has a Steady Job Of His Own Boyfriend. Wherein, you know, it's about the *girl* and her life, rather than the boy and his accessory girl.

[lydiabell.livejournal.com]

Or the Successful Businessman Who Plays XBox 360 In His Spare Time and his Entrepreneur Wife With A Successful Boutique Who Doesn't Get The Gaming Thing But Doesn't Care Because He Doesn't Care About Her Slash Habit.

Occupations aside, you've just described my marriage. :D

[niqaeli]

*grins* I think that describes a lot of marriages, actually. It's been true of mine! ...well, we're not actually married but we might as well have been for the past three years. Except I kind of *do* get the gaming thing and he kind of gets the slash thing. *laughs*

[niqaeli]

A further thought on the hot thing: these guys really have no fucking idea how much work it is to be hot/sexy/beautiful because they've never put forth the effort in their own lives even once.

It's a hell of a lot of work to have a flawless complexion, perfect eyebrows, a fit body; a lot of time and energy each day goes into getting dressed and skincare and putting on makeup. A lot of time and effort goes into buying the cute/sexy/attractive clothing and shoes. A lot of time and effort goes into the weekly mani/pedi, the waxing, the facials. A lot of time and effort goes into going to the gym and watching what you eat. You don't have to do all of that to look *good* but to look model gorgeous, yeah, pretty much you do.

I don't think the amount of effort that our culture thinks women should put into said is reasonable--that's a fucking lot of our lives that could be better spent, oh, gaming or reading or whatever--but it's *not* unreasonable for a person to make the choice to put effort into looking and feeling really nice.

And here's the thing: if I *did* bother with half that shit, my reaction to a guy who doesn't even bother to wear clothes that fit properly and keep his hair attractively cut and always neat? Would be to roll my eyes and possibly kick him with my pointy, pointy heels. I mean, that's my reaction even *not* putting forth that much effort, you know? If a girl *does* put that much effort into herself, I think she's probably going to expect any guy interested in her to put at least some effort into himself. And that's not stupid or unreasonable, that's fucking human nature, to value in others, especially a potential *mate*, what you value in yourself.

[kalikahuntress.livejournal.com]

MightyGodKIng is beyond awesome, thanks for posting this:)

[seperis.livejournal.com]

...*this close* to sending him my email and my resumee. *hangs head* But that rant was *catnip*.

[autobotsrollout.livejournal.com]

You know - and when I say this I don't mean to brag or anything - but I've gotten a shitload of mostly-not-serious propositions (seeing as how I'm not spending a lot of money to travel to get laid and neither are they, which is fine for all concerned) because of that post.

It is wonderfully ego-heartening having total strangers say "I would totally do you." I vaguely imagine rock stars feel like this all the time. [1] So I deliver my thanks for said ego-strokes before once again disappearing like a thief into the night.

[1] I looked around to see if any bands needed a charismatic frontman with little to no actual singing ability to trigger a fantastic comeback, but all I could find was White Lion and I have standards.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*grins* So you have a livejournal? Must begin to read. That post was just perfect.

You know - and when I say this I don't mean to brag or anything - but I've gotten a shitload of mostly-not-serious propositions (seeing as how I'm not spending a lot of money to travel to get laid and neither are they, which is fine for all concerned) because of that post.

*snickers* I read your comments and controlled my own knee-jerk urge to propose. I am completely and utterly not surprised. And considering how fast it's spreading through my flist and friendsfriends--your mailbox must be a thing of beauty. And bogglingly funny.

Your blog? Is sexy. Ever so.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Wait. Just a question and you don't have to answer; how on earth did you find my post? This is the second time in the last month someone/something I posted about was commented on by the OP and--huh. Interesting.

[autobotsrollout.livejournal.com]

Technorati and recording incoming links via Google Analytics. I measure my blog's readership very carefully because being able to cite accurate traffic statistics helps get me freelance writing jobs, as well as getting me other media exposure (like my recent appearance on CBC Radio and an upcoming appearance on CBC television). Yeah, the blog is fun, but I put in the additional work required to make it generate some money because, well, I like money, or at least I like having less debt generated by law school.

The Livejournal is mostly just to read my friends' journals, considering that if I used it "officially" Livejournal would be legally required to kick me off again, so I was never here. :)

And thank you again for the compliments. Feel free to send naked pictures of self if so inclined.

[reginagiraffe]

Wait, and you're *Canadian*, too!?

Oh, man, do I know some women for you!

[autobotsrollout.livejournal.com]

I'm Torontonian, though, which disqualifies me for most Canadian chicks except other girls in Toronto.

It's all right, though, because I live in the center of the universe.

[reginagiraffe]

Oh, no no. I mean *American* women. Many of my friends have an excessive fondness for things Canadian.

[autobotsrollout.livejournal.com]

Well, that's all right then, but they can't marry me for free healthcare.

...unless they're really kinky and rich.

[reginagiraffe]

How about kinky and poor?

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I am literally giggling insanely watching this convo. I have no idea why.

[reginagiraffe]

*g*

That's better than being pissed at us spamming your LJ.

I feel a bit like Auntie Mame.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I like spam when it's entertaining!

[sobelle.livejournal.com]

Pretty much there with you... although until the CBC mention I was wondering if my son was writing it... (then I read MGK and realized that I wasn't paying close enough attention) and then because I can (I may be old but I've been sufficiently geeked by aforementioned son) I voyeured autobotsrollout's user info and noticed one of my friends from an entirely different location on the great void known as the interweb... and am considering how small cyberspace really is...

And all that in one breath...

[autobotsrollout.livejournal.com]

I believe I've already made it clear exactly what I am, so everything else is merely haggling over price.

[abbylee]

<3

So, so true.

(Except the centre of the Universe bit.)

[autobotsrollout.livejournal.com]

I figure all the hottest girls live here anyway. Or move here. Either way, I come out ahead.

This is not to suggest that other Canadians aren't hot, you know, in their appreciably limited way.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Ah, the joys of technorati.

I measure my blog's readership very carefully because being able to cite accurate traffic statistics helps get me freelance writing jobs, as well as getting me other media exposure (like my recent appearance on CBC Radio and an upcoming appearance on CBC television). Yeah, the blog is fun, but I put in the additional work required to make it generate some money because, well, I like money, or at least I like having less debt generated by law school.

Really good idea. I know a few people who use their blogs to help generate income, but mostly through advertising. Accurate readership counts would be invaluable when looking for freelance work. And avoid flashing ads. I like.

The Livejournal is mostly just to read my friends' journals, considering that if I used it "officially" Livejournal would be legally required to kick me off again, so I was never here. :)

I'll guard the secret with my life. Or at least, until someone offers me money. Or a pony. A very nice pony. Something small that I can name George.

And thank you again for the compliments. Feel free to send naked pictures of self if so inclined.

*shocked* I'm a computer nerd. Aspiring, anyway. I could have tentacles or only speak in l33t. Or furry! Or never shave! Or anything. You take your life in your hands; at least, you take your potential viewing trauma. And really, goatse could appear at any time (and thank you encyclopedia dramatica for that truly historic moment in my life, really).

[niqaeli]

I originally read that as "encyclopedia traumatica". I kind of want that site, now.

[namastenancy.livejournal.com]

This so reminds me of a series that ran in the SF Bay Guardian -- oh, many many years ago. In it, a writer (chubby, balding, pretty-obnoxious guy) bemoaned his lack of success with hot chicks. The hot chick part was essential. He placed personal ads in the paper, wrote up about the "dates" he had with the women who replied and never, ever, once chose one that was less than gorgeous, thin, much younger than him and very sexy. Nice wasn't good enough. Even average-pretty wasn't good enough. They had to be mega hot and he went on for issue after issue about how the one or two that he "decided" were good enough for him never showed up for a second or third date.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*nods*

Always 'hot'. The rest of it never seems to matter, does it?

*amused* And people wonder why I don't date.

[niqaeli]

Oh my god, this is hilarious, I got a self-proclaimed Nice Guy on my blog into a flamewar after linking to MGK's entry! Sweet!

Possibly it's wrong that I'm as amused to hell by him as I am, but, seriously, he's God!