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Wednesday, November 15th, 2006 07:17 pm
more on unfathomable vocabulary use
First, the good news--I have not seen prostrate substitued for prostate in *months*. It's so nice when people no longer mistake a noun for a verb.
Also happily, no wonton wantons. My need for Chinese has been curbed.
I'd like to say all is well in ficland, but I ran across Yet Another Rodney The Potato Shaped Man of Maximum Chubbiness. Okay. I just want to go on record. Someone needs to write a Jack Sprat and his wife fic for this pairing. Between anorexic/bulimic, hollow-eyed, slow starvation John Sheppard and The Largest Non-Sumo Wrestler Man in History Rodney, my fandom frankly *deserves* it.
Hmm. There has been anorexic John but no Weight Watchers Rodney on a calorie counting diet and crying into his low fat soy ice cream substitute. This is a great injustice.
So let's go to Verbs Maybe I Shouldn't Use For This Sex Scene.
1.) Plowed.
Maybe it's just me. I'm totally insane like this. I grew up rural. We did not see plows in the context of sexual gratification. We saw plows in the context of dirt. With you know. Farming things. Okay, I'm rural, but I never worked a farm in my life. But still. I just--want you to consider, when you are writing about the tender lovemaking of Joe and Jay, and how their passion is so pure, and their love so wonderful, going to a place where someone is plowing someone else? Maybe not what you wanted to get across? Just--okay, I'm disturbing myself with visions of a backhoe and kind of want to lie down now.
2.) Pummelled.
As in pummelled the prostate. Did I spell that right? Seriously. Pummelled? Look, sometimes we may get tired of using those old, normal verbs, but they're old and normal for a *reason*. They do not remind people of school yard fighting. Okay, I've got to stop with the comparisons.
So? Any other verbs that bring unfortunate imagery?
Also happily, no wonton wantons. My need for Chinese has been curbed.
I'd like to say all is well in ficland, but I ran across Yet Another Rodney The Potato Shaped Man of Maximum Chubbiness. Okay. I just want to go on record. Someone needs to write a Jack Sprat and his wife fic for this pairing. Between anorexic/bulimic, hollow-eyed, slow starvation John Sheppard and The Largest Non-Sumo Wrestler Man in History Rodney, my fandom frankly *deserves* it.
Hmm. There has been anorexic John but no Weight Watchers Rodney on a calorie counting diet and crying into his low fat soy ice cream substitute. This is a great injustice.
So let's go to Verbs Maybe I Shouldn't Use For This Sex Scene.
1.) Plowed.
Maybe it's just me. I'm totally insane like this. I grew up rural. We did not see plows in the context of sexual gratification. We saw plows in the context of dirt. With you know. Farming things. Okay, I'm rural, but I never worked a farm in my life. But still. I just--want you to consider, when you are writing about the tender lovemaking of Joe and Jay, and how their passion is so pure, and their love so wonderful, going to a place where someone is plowing someone else? Maybe not what you wanted to get across? Just--okay, I'm disturbing myself with visions of a backhoe and kind of want to lie down now.
2.) Pummelled.
As in pummelled the prostate. Did I spell that right? Seriously. Pummelled? Look, sometimes we may get tired of using those old, normal verbs, but they're old and normal for a *reason*. They do not remind people of school yard fighting. Okay, I've got to stop with the comparisons.
So? Any other verbs that bring unfortunate imagery?
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From:I can't really think of any other verbs that give me the heebee-jeebees, but there are a few phrases that make me wince when I read.
Such as for the prostate (Almost spelled prostrate there but that was an innocent slip of the fingers. I swear) the two that come to mind first off is 'magic button' and I swear I read this in a story before but it could have been a nightmare (yes, I dream about reading fic... don't you? ::shifty eyes) 'man clit.' Just... what?
Or for the anus. Good God, people, can't you just used the tried-and-true terms, and not be... creative? Poop shute (and not being sarcastic or witty) 'little brown star'... the list goes on and on. Bah.
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From:*shudders*
You win for the world. Right there. That? Is a nightmare.
Or for the anus. Good God, people, can't you just used the tried-and-true terms, and not be... creative? Poop shute (and not being sarcastic or witty) 'little brown star'... the list goes on and on. Bah.
...I know you are not joking? But I'm going to pretend you are for a few more minutes. For the sake of my sanity.
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From:Oh, the pain. :-)
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From:...god, I just followed links here on a whim, and THIS is what I choose to post in a poor stranger's journal?!? I am so sorry.
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From:*shudders*
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