(no subject)

So. It happened. The Sex Talk with Child. fox1013 is easing me through the post-Talk trauma.

Yeah. It didn't go how I imagined it would.



One of my first promises to myself was that I'd be brutaly honest about sex. That means, no matter how much more comfortable I'd be with euphemisms and--you know, moral admonishments--I was going ot be honest. Like, if he asked, when can i have sex, I'd say, well--okay, no fucking *clue* what I'd say, that question didn't come up, thank you God. We'll leave that one. But post-puberty would be part of it.

Forutnately, due to the fact that I immediately block all traumtizing memories, I don't remmbeer all of it, but there were some key points that I think should be remembered, burned into my mind as they are now. This is the short version, because--you know. I was ready. Except not at all.

Me: So, what do you think sex is?
Child: When you put your boyparts *eloquent gesture down* in a girl's parts. *eloquent gesture*
Me: Yeah. Penis. *Child looks at me with pity* Boyparts. Yeah. You got the gist.
Child: But how do you get pregnant?
Me: *blank*

This is where things go fuzzy.

Explaining semen and eggs is easy--in theory. Except I needed context, and you'd think, being pretty much a pornographer, this would not be a problem. I thought about it.

Me: You know those eggs we get at the market?
Child: Yeah.
Me: And that time of the month i get all grumpy and lay down a lot?
Child: Oh yeah.
Me: I have eggs like that. except they are invisible. I mean, you can't see them because they are so small. Women have those. and when they are fertilized, they become babies.
Child: *blank* Eggs are babies?

Oh God.

There was some backtracking, some re-explanation, and some clarification, but luckily, we didn't hit any major moral arenas except my explanation that, as Christians, God kind of encourages us to avoid premarital sex. Most of his interest was in the baby portions of the thing, not the actual sex, so. I'll have a better speech ready so I can completely forget that, too, when the time comes.

However, if Child comes out of this convinced that roosters are somehow involved in the miracle of conception....

Well.

Yeah, I'm not going to think about this for a while. I'm giving myself cookies. I have no doubt this discussion will be revisited very soon, and hopefully, I'll be drinking during that one.

Comments

[out-there.livejournal.com]

*giggles a hell of a lot* Oh, well, I'm sure it could have been worse Jenn. A lot worse.

I can't remember being told about the birds and the bees, but that's because I was pretty young at the time, like four or five years old. because Mum was pregnant with my little brother, she used that as a way of teaching me (and I got a pretty book. I cannot emphasise the importance of teaching kids that if you need to learn about embarrassing things, check out books. Answers to many things can be found in books -- also porn, which in hindsight, I'm still glad I got hold of when I was 12. It was much better, and safer, to read about all this pornographic, extremely graphic sex scenes than to get interested in exploring it.).

Apparently, a few weeks after we explained where babies came from, I got curious. Mum's explaination that the "mummie and the daddy lie down together" stuck in my mind, so when Mum and Dad lay down for an afternoon nap and closed their bedroom door, curious little 4-year-old Annie snuck out the front door, around the side of the house, to look in my parent's window. Luckily, they were just napping, and Mum heard the front door close behind me and was around to get me really quickly.

That prompted the discussion about how sex was a special *private* thing, only shared between two people. You know, not a spectator sport.

...

And, after sharing that, and thinking about my slasher ways, I'm thinking I really haven't changed that much.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*giggles a hell of a lot* Oh, well, I'm sure it could have been worse Jenn. A lot worse.

I guess I could have passed out in shock halfway through the chicken bit. *ponders*


That prompted the discussion about how sex was a special *private* thing, only shared between two people. You know, not a spectator sport.

*snickers* Imagine that.