slow plague death and a snippet

Day Three (Four?) of My Life as a Germ Depository:

Due to work rules, I have to go to the doctor today and get a note excusing me from work for having the plague. On the upside, there's no chest congestion, which is yay, as I have been a totally paranoid person and spending a lot of time coughing as much as possible to test this. For anyone who has had pneumonia and the doctor gave you a torture device to breathe with and then cough copiously, you remember this horror, but it's not nearly that bad. On the downside, head congestion is like walking around with lead sewn into my cheekbones and head and a headache that is like an analogy for the hugeness of the Titanic--or perhaps Australia?--and I have no intention of actually thinking up an adequate analogy so just deal.

So. Being miserable and sick, I want attention and basically, I will take it any way I can get it. Snippet below cut. It's a dumb snippet. But I am sick and it made me laugh myself into easy coughing fits to imagine it, so there you go. Dedicated to shinetheway for her life-saving porn ficlets. This is not porn. Which you will see, is the entire problem.

( merlinfic: efficient )

shinetheway and I are snippeting here on what happens next. Feel free to add if you wish. And no, this is not a desperate and transparent plea for entertainment for the afternoon. Except you know, it totally is.

in the following order

In order:

Winterlive!

winterlive has Merlin icons up here with many pretty icons, including the one I snatched that I am using now, which is tentatively Prince With Migraine in Repose, or Right After Merlin Discovered the Deliciousness of Wine. As one does.

Fiction!

shinetheway wrote a whole bunch of potential endings to Efficient here.

transtempts adds one here.

thearchpoet writes a lovely Morgana one here.

The Plague!

I went to the doctor to slump sadly in a chair until I became bored, then played with the reflex hammer. In case anyone is curious, my knee reflexes are in fact working quite well. After kicking for a while, I kept using the foam to clean my hands off so as not to transport my death germs to other people and I think started getting a skin-related high from the alcohol content and carried on a spirited conversation with the doctor that in no way required her to actually answer. Bet that was fun for her.

So here is what we know. I have no lung congestion ("You have no congestion in your lungs!" she says in surprise. "I had pneumonia," I say grimly, leaning over to cough deliberately into a paper towel. "I cough." "Still..." "I cough with a torture device from Seton," I say, coughing again. "There will be no lung congestion. The food was terrible there." That's a lie. Their chicken lasagna was quite acceptable.) I have head congestion and sneezing and a note for work about my tragedy. I have bronchitis, which--okay? I mean, I am not going to argue or anything. I start something called Z-Pack antibiotics, but first I need to find my very special anti-nausea medication, because that shit is not on, and I remember the last time they gave me mysterious antibiotics and the death-nausea. I think this is throwing off my thyroid medication, but honestly, my entire immune system is in some kind of rebellion, so the only surprise at this point is that no one started making worried noises about x-rays so there could be more marveling at the odd that is my body.

Fool-proof way to cough is to laugh, and earlier, I told my mom the bear joke that svmadelyn told me. I am not in fact insane; she laughed very hard and I coughed. It's very hard to explain, but just, "you live like bears" is for some reason the funniest thing in the world.

And that concludes my Friday. I'm going to go look for merlinrps now, because I discovered my feelings on rps are like, directly proportional to how much non-rps I have to read and I am running out of things to read.

I also have tissues now a day after using paper towels and my nose hates me like some cats hate water. (My cat never did. So it's weird to say that.)

ETA: Sweet Child o' Mine by Taken by Trees is literally now the creepiest song I own. Also, it should be vidded.