child in review

Amazon, in a cheering turn of events, emailed me to cancel my order for Breaking Dawn so as to reorder it and get it on Saturday. This is pleasing to me in a variety of ways, not least of which is I get to have my fix of Epic Teenage Vampire Romance conveniently on Saturday evening.

I'm weirdly apathetic today. Granted, it's been an exciting week and all, which makes sense, but there's also a dim feeling of "do something".

However, in Daily Oversharing.

How to Torture Eleven Year Old Fanboy Sons Who Won't Give Back Your DVDs

1.) Flatten his hair down when he isn't paying attention, remark how much he looks like Kowalski in Asylum.

2.) Tell him he's grounded from participating in the Mars mission in 2025.

3.) Tell him you're not sure about Jacks' feelings for Ianto.

4.) Tell him Buffy doesn't like dinosaurs.

How He Will Enact Revenge

1.) Calls you to the living room saying his stomach hurts during the part in Anaconda 3 where that guy is being eaten by the snake.

2.) Announces he wants to become a Republican.

3.) Comes into your room every five minutes to show you a new balloon he's filled with a different not-air substance while you are reading porn. Specifically, stuff involving whips and some kind of electrical device.

4.) Continues to deny knowledge of where dS season two is, despite the fact the box is on his desk sans disks.

*sighs*

Most recently, he wants to get a myspace. My sister has one for her eldest daughter (age six) that is locked to family and close friends. My entire family is on myspace, including ex-BIL, ex-BILs ex-gf's, my other sister, her ex-boyfriend, and a variety of people who make me faintly nervous. Which is why I am here and never ever there.

So he wants a myspace. I ignored him due to a.) age restrictions and b.) there really isn't anyone in his age group on there and c.) the layout offends my aesthetics in so many ways. The third time he asked, I finally cut a deal--he would bring me notes from the parents of his friends that had the kids' usernames and permission, and I'd set him one up. I'm curious if he'll follow through with it when school starts. I'm not entirely sure he actually wants one--I get the feeling this is the beginning of a bargaining session of some kind.

He has also been banned from a small local amusement park for crashing bumper cars. To say I am proud is an understatement. This is mostly because apparently, my offspring shares my lack of grace and my ability to crash into things. I mean, there was a reason my frat tried very hard to give me the official nickname of crash.

Very apathetic. I'm even listening to A Perfect Circle and I got nothing.

okay, one more thing

Child wants to do his science fair project about flatworms and how the child worm resembles the mother worm. Huh, I said, and wikipedia'ed.

Jenn: *quoting* "Flatworm reproduction is hermaphroditic..." This means--
Child: Hermaphroditic means the species they can have their own babies alone. Without anyone else.

Then he put a ribbon in his hair and wandered out saying he wants to do a genetic survey of fruit flies and flatworms. By ribbon, it's a baby clip with a ribbon on it that my sister made. There's a fairly good chance he's going to fall asleep wearing it and I will take incriminating pictures after putting the Spiderman plush doll my niece dressed in a pink jumper and yellow skirt beside him. Puberty is very close and I need to get ready.

Okay, fine, I'm indulging in high level parental glee.

Uh. Little known fact that surely, someone, somewhere, will need for a fic--the longest flatworm ever discovered was ninety feet long. It was a tapeworm.

I'm rethinking the entire 'worm experiment' thing. I just don't entirely trust him not to think it would be hilarious to put worms in my bed.

i feel like they don't know me at all

For the last few weeks, I've come to the startlingly obvious conclusion that teh world should be more like a combination of amazon and google, at least as far as purchasing things goes. Mostly amazon--more specifically, the wish list and the ability to click off stuff you either don't like or already own from the recommendations.

Itunes is seriously in need of this. Why, you ask. Funny story. They have that entire Music For You, which is a very logical extrapolation from your past musical buys to what you might buy later.

They don't even get it right by accident. And God help me, I went to check today--it could happen--and once again, a year running, Fallout Boy and Panic! At the Disco.

Plus, now, I'm contrary, which means they could write my epic song and I would hate it because they keep being shoved into the list willy-nilly and therefore, I reserve the right to hate them from a comfortable distance.

OTOH, I can't entirely blame them. I don't have a set pattern--well, I do. It's called Has Someone Vidded This Song?, which is what caused me to cave to itunes in the first place. At two in the morning and you have been watching sisabet's vids for five straight hours, you go with what takes five seconds. Which means my buying habits currently range from random monks chanting to Korn to NIN, which, let's just say, not something left to my own devices I would have bought. Which makes me suspicious of subliminal messages, but eh.

Trailers have a similar effect on me. But Vids pretty much are the reason I spent about two weeks late last year wandering around singing Bodies Like Sheep and making people look at me nervously.

So yes, I want a thingie that lets me reject certain songs and bands, and mark the ones I own, dammit. And a wish list, because sometimes it takes me a bit to like a song. Or more accurately, to find someone who has vidded it, and keeping a list of songs that maybe I like, or when I feel very eighties, or when I really need something in whalesong? That would be nice.

I also want a pony. And the moon. Hmm. I'm going to stare at Fraser some more.