webbing and thinking

Redid my website a little. Again. Because it's not done from the *last* two times I did this. And for some reason, I thought orange was the color to go with.

http://seperis.illuminatedtext.com

Has *nothing* to do with watching season three this week while Child was sick. None.

Anyway, if you wander through, and see any problems, email me and I'll fix.

I've learned many interesting things from watching, and perhaps obsessively rewinding and fast forwarding, some disturbing, some not.

1.) Hunter is not exactly hot, but he is cute. Cute, cute, cute. And fun. And I like him, dammit. A lot.

2.) Like Brian before him, fatherhood softens The Michael's wrath toward Hunter, and it's so cute it hurts. I'm sure this is some kind of lesson, but I'm not sure what it is.

3.) Ted has moments where he is pretty cute. None of them happen when he's having sex. I mean, seriously, none. Not even one.

Those were the big ones. I watched the pilot again directly after ep fourteen and mulled the fact that Then!Brian would think Now!Brian is on a really, really, *really* bad trip. And now I wonder if Then!Brian saw his future up to that ep, if he'd still be tempted by pretty virgin blond twink ass.

It's a *really* weird thought. Completely foreign, even, since I don't usually think that way, but I tried to list out all the ways that Justin's been good for him/to him, balancing out, oh, the trauma of the prom and the guilt and all the annoyances and Justin's dad trying to kill him a few times and Ethan and then getting fired and all the ways he notices his own emotional issues, and you know. Hmm. I'm not sure Now!Brian would make the same decision either, for that matter. Neither Then!Brian or Now!Brian have seen much of the good parts of falling in love--Brian, and Justin to a lesser extent, got all the worst of it, and Brian isn't exactly a cheerleader of love anyway. They might have different reasons for deciding it isn't worth it, but I tend to think that they'd both walk away if they had the chance.

Comments

[burnitbackwards.livejournal.com]

i think that's a really good insight regarding brian, but i'm wondering exactly what you mean by "had the chance?" are we saying here that brian is so caught up in this relationship that he can't walk away, even if he wants to?

i mean, i tend to think about that, at least, differently -- it's just what love is. there's always the contingent of people that says "love shouldn't hurt!" and those who say, "love is pain!" yes, there have been all these truly awful and painful moments (and long moments, some of them), and yes, sometimes love is something that just happens to you, that you can't help. but being with someone is a choice, and brian isn't and never has been the kind of person to allow himself to be forced into making choices that he doesn't want.

so i guess my point is that i don't think he'd walk away, because even when he has the chance to hurt justin or to walk away completely, he tries to up for it: he takes justin in even after the bashing and after his near-death experience at the hands of justin's father. he lets justin come back, forgives him after ethan. he stays even when justin's opposition to stockwell costs him his job.

we can't always choose who we love, i fully concede, and sometimes the person that we love isn't the person we would have chosen for ourselves (or we wouldn't have chosen love at all), but that doesn't mean we'd give it all up to walk away.