seperis | meta link: continuing the wincon post at unfunnybusiness

Continued from my earlier entry on the the banning of a con member from WinCon and the explosion that occurred.

Comments in the JF post here are adding more information in comments, so check back regularly for updates.

For anyone who has been skimming and is getting the impression this is just another fannish wank, this really, really isn't. I'm not the only one that went to flock when I started reading to get a better idea what the hell was going on and decided to post publicly after it went up on Unfunny Business. This isn't fannish gossip as usual; I didn't come out of this boggling about the wankiness of fandom, because this is not fannish wankery.

I'm going to go to something that's lingered with me, though, about safety in fannish spaces like cons and the people that run it.

The Concomm's actions are important, above and beyond a simple ban, in placing a line down about what is and what is not appropriate at the private con they are running, and even more importantly, they've set a standard on an issue that for a lot of us feels hazy and uncomfortable to have to think about.

A lot of us attend cons regularly, and a lot of us do this at these types of cons without really thinking through "what do I do if x goes wrong" or "should I say what happened at y that made me uncomfortable?" This is not something I've thought consciously ever, but I think I've always thought subconsciously when I go to VividCon, and when I went to ConText, that if I went to the organizers or any of the volunteers, I'd be listened to, and helped as best they can do, and more importantly than those things, that I'd be safe when I did so. Not because some of them were friends, but because by their actions in open fannish spaces I knew they were the kind of people that did value the safety of the women that attend, that respect their boundaries, that would listen.

I don't attend the megacons for a lot of reasons, not least of which is that I'm really spoiled by the ones run by women in fandom, by the certainty that safety, security, and openness are the rule and not exception--and while this public explosion was horrific, it shows Wincon's Concomm personifies those traits that all of us, I think, really want at a place that intersects our fannish lives and real lives.

For people who have been wary about going to these conventions, or after reading this feel more wary, these kind of actions on their part are a sign of how hard they work to keep these spaces as safe as possible, and that they'll listen and act when necessary. To me, at least, Wincon is on that list of cons that are places it's safe to allow that intersection to occur, that it's safe to attend, and I think they've proven beyond a shadow of a doubt this is a good con to attend, where those who run it are willing to enforce that safety and security for its members.

That may have been overlooked a little in the entirety of this, but I'm hoping that much does get across; they made a judgment call on behalf of the safety and security of their members, and they made the right one.

ETA: One day I will not have an entry without an eta. Maybe.

Con-space, comfort levels, transgression by

merryish (in my defense, I just read this) with some thoughts on female oriented spaces and how harm doesn't have to be intentional to still be harm.

ETA 2: Two more extremely relevant links in this:

Here,

thenyxie's 2008 roommates speak out.

Here,

thenyxie attempts an apology.

ETA 3: Posted by

cesare at UNF:

Brihana25 on the pressure put on LJ regarding the original anonymous accounts of the women affected, along with the threat that LJ would be compelled to release the IP numbers of those same women.

I have no idea how to even think about that one for a while.

ETA 4:

thenyxie has frozen her entry, so comments aren't visible. Screencaps can be found here at Unfunny Business.

All links are also up at the post at Unfunny Business as well.

For my money, at least (perhaps because I don't know the players), the Wiscon organizers' excellent response has stuck out as the central impression of this whole thing. They seem to have done precisely the correct things from 2008 until now, with no exceptions that I've seen. The continued confidentiality (on all sides), the careful policy statements, the refusal to let the issue be made public in a way that hurts the victims or the con--seriously, they're fantastic.

I hope they'll keep getting credit for that, and that it will influence the behaviour of other con organizers and, for that matter, other human beings in general.

I hope so too; their behavior through this has been exemplary.

I've been glued to my computer, watching this unmagical clusterfuck implode. I'm not at all involved in the fandom - I don't go to cons, I don't join in on discussions in communities; I just read fic, comment on fic, and keep on keeping on. I started off reading JF with an eye-roll and an "Oh great, wank ahead." But I quickly changed my attitude when I realized just how utterly irresponsible, insensitive and all around wrong-headed it had gotten.

thenyxie's responses to the situation - from that horrifically offensive "bring it bitches" post, the utter inability to accept responsibility, the victim blaming, the siccing of her friends list at the "cowardly, lying fucks", AND ending with a passive aggressive fauxpology made me throw up a lot in my mouth. Oh and good to know she's not planning to leave fandom, because THAT IS WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT.

brihana25's calm, empathetic and amazing posts helped wash the funk out, but GOD. I wish I hadn't read any of this shit because the wanton blindness and "woe I am being persecuted! I'm calling my lawyer!" of

thenyxie and her posse was traumatizing.

Excuse me while I go and read about ponies and rainbows now. I need it.

I kind of got pissed at her and wrote her a long response and posted it as a reply to her 2008 WinCon report. She should have thought to turn off commenting on her entire journal, I suppose, but she didn't and I took advantage of that. I'm sure she'll delete it, but I saved the page just in case.

I kept wondering if I should post it or not, basically being some random person on the internet and not really in SPN fandom, but every single time I reread her posts and remembered the fact that she basically lied to LJ to get them to squash free discussion of her bad behavior I became more convinced that I should.

Thank you for the continuing discussion-_I was able to update my post with a couple of the newest ones posted over at UB. Now going to read Merryish!

merryish's post seriously opened up a lot of hazy-area discussion on appropriate action, and it kind of clarified a point I don't think about all that often in how my interactions with women at cons are completely different--and much, much, much more relaxed and easy than anywhere else.

brihana25 original post yesterday was possibly the single most clarifying post in this entire mess and elucidated how much this wasn't just a single fandom or con issue, but something that affected everyone and honestly pretty much is what made me decide to post about it publicly when I'd been wary to talk about it when it felt too much like a more spn-only issue. I hope this brings her voice out more; someone who thinks that carefully and can express her opinions that well is needed in fandom so badly, and she's done so much to open up discussion. *crosses fingers*

...which raises the question: so, hey, you going to con.txt this year? Wink wink, nudge nudge.

God, I wish. I can't this year, which peeves me, but VVC, my entire family going on vacation, and potentially Adam's concert are killing my budget and summer. Thank God I did my payoff this year on my credit cards.

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