meta rec: It's Saturday Night And SPN fandom Brings the Unfunny

Up at Unfunny Business:

It's Saturday Night And SPN fandom Brings the Unfunny

I'm doing this as a meta link and non-flocked, not only because it's at UFB, but because I don't think by any definition this is simply a fanwank. I've been reading this since--er, pretty much since I got home this afternoon from the zoo and I'll be honest; this isn't just a single fandom-specific issue, it's one that I think affects pretty much all of fandom.

Originally posted to Wank Report here.

Then when you're done, read This is bri, from silly to pissed off in 30 seconds flat by brihana25, who possibly has written one of the most eloquent posts on the subject I've read. I'm going to say this is a must-read as well; this is brilliant, and she's brilliant for writing it.

FWIW, at least to me, the con-comm's actions here are incredibly reassuring to me as someone who goes to cons, as a fangirl, and as a woman. So personally, thank you.

I'm going to quote morgandawn's post on this, originally posted here:

As brihana25 put it...."I refuse to let internet fandom change the values that I hold in the real world.."

If you or someone you bring to one of my events (public or private) causes a woman to feel uncomfortable or threatened, you will not be invited again. Nor will I stand quietly by and allow people, however well meaning, blame those who complained or imply that they are whores, sluts or liars. If it is my party, it is my judgment call, right or wrong. Blaming the people who filed the complaint only creates a culture that silences and shames victims. So when it comes to the safety of women, I would rather act than do nothing. And that's my line in the sand.

Go read now.

ETA: All of journalfen is being very robust. Like, really robust.

ALTERNATE LINK:

It's Saturday Night And SPN fandom Brings the Unfunny at DW. Go!

ETA the Last, Please

This thread is frozen and anyone wanting to practice Rape Culture 101 fail needs to do it somewhere else; not like RL and the rest of the internet aren't there for you, so I feel comfortable practicing sanity here. I apologize to anyone who had to read that and were forced to respond; it's not an excuse, but I didn't watch these threads nearly as carefully as I should have and I'm sorry anyone had to deal with that in my LJ. Thank you for responding. You didn't have to be polite; in the future, feel free to flame if I am not there fast enough and make it a party.

Next person to fail rape culture goes to insta-ban. Just so we're all clear.

Comments

[telesilla]

Wow, that's kinda fucked up.

[seperis]

It manages to get more faily the longer it goes on, and that's saying something.

[majoline]

How much fail can there be in the world? I can't stop being angry!

[wrabbit]

It looks like most of the original threads are deleted.

[wrabbit]

Oh, I found the unfunny business post with caps.

[concinnity]

This is terrible in all kinds of ways. It's a signal that needs boosting, thanks for posting.

[amalthia]

Just wanted to say thanks for sharing these links. Though I made a complete ass of myself I did learn from it and more about the situation at hand.

I think next time I'll try harder to read everything before I make a post. (The sad part is I've said this before! and I still end up messing up.)

[ariadne83]

So much fail! But I am proud of the SPN people who stood up against that bullshit.

[ariadne83]

Also: LJ fails for censoring the anon meme.

[swordage]

Thank you for posting this. I hadn't heard of this, and... I am so glad the con-com is standing by their decision. So glad.

[feanna]

Thanks for the links.
Some people are just mind-bogglingly stupid (and some people manage somehow to be even worse than that).

[jamethiel]

>:(

On the plus side, YAY! Unfunny business is now on dreamwidth so I can read it regularly rather than just whenever someone links to it! (I always forget to read on journalfen)

[littlemousling]

Thanks for the signal boost. I'm not in SPN, but this kind of thing deserves wider fandom attention, so we can (in theory) learn from the mistakes of others. And, frankly, so organizers of other cons can protect themselves and their attendees.

Honestly, the rape-culture-perpetuating commentary by the person in question is, entirely on its own, enough to justify a ban from a safe space, for my money.

[cofax7]

I can't even.

I have to say, I know it's not fair, but I'm so fucking glad I never even wanted to go to Wincon.

PENIS HATS? Seriously?

[gozer]

Wait, what? This is the first I've read of "penis hats", and I thought I read everything on this tawdry affair, clicked thru every link. They were wearing penis hats? o.O

[glitterandlube]

I don't understand exactly what is going on here - if she was told she can not attend the con, then she can not attend the con. Is she trying to harass them into letting her?

I'm reading the links about what she did as fast as I can but even if she was a saint, if the con givers say no, that means no. Okay, I guess I see what she has a problem with since she has trouble understanding that concept.

From sparkymonster

Also: Similarly, if I know someone engages in bad behavior with drunk women, I'll warn people

This is literally the most important thing anyone can do. Because rapists are about [estimated figures I can show you where I am getting these] 4 to 6% of the population yet each of them commit something like 6+ rapes on average and they get away with it because it gets excused because of this exact shit. That is the best tool all of us have against rape - not to worry about our own behavior but to stop the behavior of the fucking rapists. Why is that difficult to understand?

*Not saying people shouldn't worry about their own behavior of course - but why do people take on guilt for things they didn't do? Is it to feel like they have future control over a situation? When someone is a rapist, that is their fault! They raped someone! Theirs! They do this on purpose! They do it a lot! They plan it out! This happens so much it is the subject of jokes in popular culture. WHAT THE FUCK?

I will admit, I did used to think a little bit like this, well maybe don't go into situations like this, but tbh, since then I've seen this happen to so many people that were doing nothing at all - I don't feel like that now. How can you say, well, she's a drunk slut, when you see woman raped for just going to some dude's room to get money back, or going over to do a project, or whatever. [Money in room was in Texas when I was in Dallas. I can't give the exact time for the school project - sorry.]

Augh. augh. I can't keep going on this or I'm going to rant for hours. Sorry. I applaud everyone who said something about the situation and got it dealt with! Staying silent is exactly what let's them keep going, and her attempts to bully people into agreeing with her and trying to shame them is exactly the same type of behavior rapists use to get away with their shit! [Note: I do not know all of the details and do not know her, or anyone involved as far as I know. I am stating a correlation I see.]

Let me know if anyone wants to know what numbers I am talking about.

I am going to go do my laundry and swear at the washers. goddammit. This shit should not happen in fandom. [Not that I haven't heard things along these lines before but never like that.]

[laurajv]

This is literally the most important thing anyone can do. Because rapists are about [estimated figures I can show you where I am getting these] 4 to 6% of the population yet each of them commit something like 6+ rapes on average and they get away with it because it gets excused because of this exact shit.

I remember seeing these stats -- from studies that were very careful with their wording, right? So instead of asking "have you ever raped someone" they would ask "have you ever made someone have sex with you when they didn't want to" and things like that, because you get different answers.

and there was a tiny set of guys who had done that once, and then another, larger, set who basically did it ALL THE TIME. (I read this study shortly after giving birth to a son, and I was like NEW LIFE GOAL: my son will NOT be in that 4-6% of men.)

[glitterandlube]

Holy shit, this just gets more awful. D:

What the fucking fuck?

[ravyn]

Wow. Sometimes I really hate the world we live in.

[margueritem.livejournal.com]

Go read now.

I was. But journalfen is now down for maintenance or something? Ugh, this is like reading the newspaper and suddenly the lights go out and there's no flashlight in your home.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*dies* I know! I am staring at refresh resentfully right now.

[mrsfjl66.livejournal.com]

Incidentally, the journalfen links don't appear to be working right now. The censorship, it are happening.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

All of JF crashed. I think everyone watching UFB and Wank report all ran the second it was posted.

FYI

[(Anonymous)]

The first two links are blank: both journalfen links are either locked or experiencing technical difficulties.

Re: FYI

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Just added an ETA for journalfen; the whole site is being very robust. I think everyone following this ran to that entry the second it was posted.

[destina.livejournal.com]

Journalfen has picked this moment to crash. Hilarity.

[fox1013.livejournal.com]

It's like Unfunny Yuletide!

[svmadelyn.livejournal.com]

JF crashed, and we are all completely shocked.

ANYWAY. http://unfunnybusiness-dw.dreamwidth.org/484.html

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Posted. *smooch*

[amireal.livejournal.com]

JF is back up.

And in case anyone comes wandering in here:

Aside from everything else, guilt, innocence, what the fuck ever.

A convention is a private event and they have the right to not admit anyone they want to and they don't have to tell you a damn thing why. Anything more than "you're not allowed to come" is a courtesy. As long as it's obvious their judgments are not based on prejudice of some sort, no one owes you a god damned thing. ConComms are responsible for the experience of ALL congoers and the viability of the con itself.

As for the notion of 'proof or it didn't happen', do you really need to be told via police report when something is unacceptable? Is a police report really the FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE? If that's your line in the sand, go find another sandbox, you're not welcome in mine.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

God, this. So freaking much.

[amazonziti.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to say, thank you so much for boosting this signal.

My understanding is that the fen who felt unsafe at WinCon 2008 made private, quiet accusations to the WinCon organizers, who sent a private, quiet refusal to the woman in question. The whole thing would have stayed private and quiet, but blew up because she posted a bunch of rants on her LJ. There are a lot of people on her FList making a lot of noise in her support -- a bunch of people who are relatively BNFs in SPN fandom. I'm grateful that you're using your voice (and your gigantic panfandom FList, lol) to make noise on the right side of this issue. I guess that sounds pretty mercenary, but still.

I've respected you for a really long time, since your early Smallville-writing days, first for the awesomeness of your writing and then, once I got grew up some and expanded my own horizons, the quality of your meta. Thanks for continuing to be terrific.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I have seriously vaguely been trying to think of a response that isn't "wait, I do what?", but I'm glad posting did get this spread around more to everyone; as it opened up, it turned out to be so much more important than just a fannish wank.

And I'm so glad you decided to post on the topic as well; I didn't get a chance to answer it yet, but it was such an informative post, especially in relation to feeling safe at cons. Thanks very much for adding your voice.

[forsweatervests.livejournal.com]

Thank you for bringing this to people's attention.

I've been meaning to say on one of your previous infotastic posts how much I enjoy them, read through them and recommend them to other people, and I just keep forgetting, or putting it off because I don't have anything original to add. This, though, this really required a thank-you.

[wyoluvr.livejournal.com]

well, i'm glad to see that everyone that i know is considerate, sane, and intelligent is on the right side of this...debate? i have nothing intelligent to add to this myself, but i am glad that you posted the unfunny_business link because i had NO idea what was going on here. god, why are people so stupid? sparkymonster said it best...don't fuck drunk(s).

[serrico.livejournal.com]

I have been boggling at and disgusted by this woman's behaviour all day. Thank you for spreading the word and keeping on top of info and links; this is one of those instances where it's incredibly important to know how awful some people can be, even if that knowledge does shred the soul.

[robotjen.livejournal.com]

My god, I just spent way longer than I wanted going through that shit. Ugh, I need a shower.