I don't know if you all are aware of the *pressure* a Certain Livejournaler Who Shall Not Be Named can *put* on a person. It? Is a lot.

So. Happyfic. No, really. Happyfic. Seriously! Happyfic! It's total cotton candy goodness. Written for Nonchop, who asked for something happy, and egged on by Madelyn, who kept saying, in a terrifyingly awed voice "Pretty When You're Mine is your *happiest* WiP."

Anyway. The Epilogue at the end is by our darling svmadelyn who felt, deeply, that the goo needed more resolution. And she was right.

( svfic: frantic, or, the day there were no porkchops by jenn and son of the goo by madelyn. 1/3 )

I wrote this for svmadelyn, since she was curious what happened after the presidency, and because I was still trying to strangle Landscape into submission.

Snippet from Somewhere I Have Never Travelled's universe, during the presidency, after all stories posted. I really need to get all the snippets together and *organize*. God knows, I have enough of them stored up for a full story.

This is so my chocolate chip cookie universe.

Also, there are no triplets. Promise.

( snippet )

I suppose I never told anyone about the mouse and teh candy machine.

I was acutally reminded when the new class of trainees came by the office for observationary purposes. See, we are used to never, ever touching hte candy machine after an unfortunate series of incidents involving a mouse, a hole chewed into the back of the machine, and a half-eaten snickers bars in plain view.

You know how there's this dirty, evil side in us all that delights in the misfortune and embarassment of others? Not to mention the joys of making someone run for teh bathroom to throw up? Yeah. We all watch reality TV and have glimpsed the Day the People Ate Bull Balls in Fear Factor. Yes. Like that.

It was kind of this second, where they took out their money and said, we are going to go get candy. And our first instinct is not to say, oh! No! Mice have eaten some of those snacks! Unclean! Unclean! Our actual first instinct is to shut our mouths and stand there with a smile, smoking a cigarette or two. Then we wait. Quietly. Snickering to ourselves, but on the inside, while we look at each other and open our mouths as if to repent, but then don't. So we let them walk down the hall, then down another hall, then down a third hall to the break room. And we may let them put in their money--I mean, is there a law that says they can't look *into* the candy machine and *see* the half-eaten Snickers? No, there isn't. And we aren't there bodily blocking the visual. So they coudl get their candy, and they coudl come outside,and we can wait until they eat,oh,three quarters, and then we can laugh adn say, a mouse got that! Then we watch them run inside and throw up for about an hour while we laugh and laugh.

Yeah. *sighs* No, we didn't do that. We told them beforehand. But in retrospect, wouldn't it have been a great deal more fun to have done the above? Yeah. I think so too.

Sometimes, I am just a self-sabotaging maniac.

Anyway. No one eats from that machine. It's kind of sad, really--I mean, I'm sure some of the food in tehre is just fine. But it just makes you wonder, because it's been over a month and CandyGuy has yet to remove that half-eaten Snickers bar and replace all the snacks. Which may argue we do not havethe brightest CandyGuy ever, don't you think?

In other news, I made a deadly enemy of passive-aggressive spite by helping out another trainee. He, the trainee, got a lecture in asking me, not his worker iv, a bastion of malicious incompetence. Well, honestly, I may not know as much as she does--I mean, she is a Worker IV and I'm a trainee. But. That is why I have this thing called A Mother Who Is an Expert on the Computer System and an Expert in Policy. I ask *her*, then I give advice. But yeah. While I was helping him, she screwed around with my computer screen and it took me the devil's own time to figure out how she turned it on its side. At lesat, I suspect it was her. Anyoen else would have admitted the joke, because it *was* funny as hell. I'm wondering what she's planning to do to me, though. She won't do it openly, so it'll have to be something subtle and really unanswerable. She's being much harder on teh trainee in question.

Hmm. Okay, this is just--something. I just want opinions on the clarity. If you are about to kill me for the WiPs I seem to be refusing to finish, I'm sorry. I have all this next week off,and I plan, somehow, to get passed my Landscape block somehow, even if I have to resort to porn to do it. Which is such a sacrifice. But anyway. This is asking for opinions on hwo clear it reads, okay?

Go under cut-tag for the rest. This is about The Yard

( the yard part II )

Is there something *wrong* with me?

Yes, I'm still sick, but besides that.

I'm staring at this story--amandajane5 gave me a cute little current canon premise, I went *whee* and started. And it just--degenerated. I go from kind of happy ice skating to Clark having some sort of strange identity crisis to people being drunk *and* depressed. Which is silly. People in fanfic get drunk and then fuck, which is where we were going with the deliberate plying of rum hot chocolate. I mean, what else would they do? Play pinochle? Strip pinochle? Can you *play* strip pinochle?

( fictional woes, in stereo )

Hmm. This is a mising scene from Somewhere I Have Never Travelled. I got a lot of curious questions on why I cut out their first date. I did write it, but it--didn't click. So I skipped ahead. But this is sort of it. I think. Some of it, if I remmber correctly, did get into Somewhere later, but honestly, it's been a *long* time since I read Somewhere, so I could be imagining it.

I'm surpised I kept this, actually.

In Which I Cut a Scene For the Greater Good.

( sv - somewhere missing scene )

I started this for taraljc forever ago and then forgot it for some reason. It was supposed to be, I think, Clark/Chloe, Pete/Chloe and eventually pre-Clark/Lex, but well. Yeah.

In Which I Have No Idea Why I Stopped

( sv - three sides )

For svmadelyn's whiteout05 challenge, whether she meant it seriously or not. What did you do during your lj whiteout?

( i wrote porn )