Saturday, April 26th, 2014 10:45 pm
life with child
So I got my merit bonus at work in lump sum instead of a raise, which trust me, not a problem. So I told Child his share and what he wanted to do with it.
Child: I want to go see Fall Out boy in concert.
Me: You can't go alone.
Child: I'm not a child, it's a concert (imagine teenage arguments here. You know what they sound like.)
Me: I could go with you.
Child: Okay, we'll get up front. Maybe I can touch Pete Wentz! Can he be my new daddy if I catch him?
Me: ....well played. Let me think about it.
Child: I thought you'd see it my way.
I'm not actually worried about Child, per se, but it's a concert and this is new to him. If one of his friends go with him and he keeps his phone on, I don't have a problem with it. His second choice is hideously expensive shoes, which is weird, because Child isn't a clothing person at all.
Well, I take that back; he's picked up an inexplicable thing for suits that I can't explain, matched with a truly unearthly number of ties. I buy my kid random ties. I mean, this being Child, I'd feel a lot better about it if he was using them for evil, but no, he wears them without irony with really nice button up shirts, and it comes out of nowhere. Days of Child in school uniforms or maybe gym shorts and graphic t-shirts, then suddenly he wants to go shopping and browsing the tailor-this portion of Dillards or Nordstroms with a dissatisfied expression on having to (not) buy off the rack, because Child also doesn't understand what suits are used for.
Child: Why don't you dress up for work?
Me: I'm state and tech. Analysts aren't supposed to wear things that even match, so I'm one up there. It shows we're committed to the job and have no human attachments to interfere. They'd prefer I shower less, to be honest. Really show my commitment to my work and assure I'm not tempted to get a life.
Child: ....you're kidding.
Me: When's the last time you saw me wear makeup?
Child: You used to wear make up?
Me: I rest my case.
Child was actually very hazy on my days at the Ombudsman, which if anyone heres' been reading long enough, was a period of about two years I had to shop regularly for dress clothes as I had none, because no denim at all, no t-shirts, all business casual all the time, and because we were only three steps down from the Commissioner, that shit was taken seriously. I pulled out a few of my old slacks which he stared at in awe, then looked at me, dressed for work in a black tank top, batman t-shirt, black hoodie, skinny jeans, and my black chunk heels, and eyeliner, because that's not makeup, that's eyeliner.
Child: What people wear suits?
Me: You're gonna choose your job by the clothes?
Child: I like suits.
Me: I've heard worse.
Sometimes, I really like him.
Child: I want to go see Fall Out boy in concert.
Me: You can't go alone.
Child: I'm not a child, it's a concert (imagine teenage arguments here. You know what they sound like.)
Me: I could go with you.
Child: Okay, we'll get up front. Maybe I can touch Pete Wentz! Can he be my new daddy if I catch him?
Me: ....well played. Let me think about it.
Child: I thought you'd see it my way.
I'm not actually worried about Child, per se, but it's a concert and this is new to him. If one of his friends go with him and he keeps his phone on, I don't have a problem with it. His second choice is hideously expensive shoes, which is weird, because Child isn't a clothing person at all.
Well, I take that back; he's picked up an inexplicable thing for suits that I can't explain, matched with a truly unearthly number of ties. I buy my kid random ties. I mean, this being Child, I'd feel a lot better about it if he was using them for evil, but no, he wears them without irony with really nice button up shirts, and it comes out of nowhere. Days of Child in school uniforms or maybe gym shorts and graphic t-shirts, then suddenly he wants to go shopping and browsing the tailor-this portion of Dillards or Nordstroms with a dissatisfied expression on having to (not) buy off the rack, because Child also doesn't understand what suits are used for.
Child: Why don't you dress up for work?
Me: I'm state and tech. Analysts aren't supposed to wear things that even match, so I'm one up there. It shows we're committed to the job and have no human attachments to interfere. They'd prefer I shower less, to be honest. Really show my commitment to my work and assure I'm not tempted to get a life.
Child: ....you're kidding.
Me: When's the last time you saw me wear makeup?
Child: You used to wear make up?
Me: I rest my case.
Child was actually very hazy on my days at the Ombudsman, which if anyone heres' been reading long enough, was a period of about two years I had to shop regularly for dress clothes as I had none, because no denim at all, no t-shirts, all business casual all the time, and because we were only three steps down from the Commissioner, that shit was taken seriously. I pulled out a few of my old slacks which he stared at in awe, then looked at me, dressed for work in a black tank top, batman t-shirt, black hoodie, skinny jeans, and my black chunk heels, and eyeliner, because that's not makeup, that's eyeliner.
Child: What people wear suits?
Me: You're gonna choose your job by the clothes?
Child: I like suits.
Me: I've heard worse.
Sometimes, I really like him.
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From:It's too bad 90% of the people majoring in Finance or Law are dicks, because they are the suit wearingest. MIS would be Child's best bet in business school, but I don't think they're necessarily big on suits. Better than CS or ECE, though.
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From:Although he's not wrong: just about everyone looks good in a well-tailored suit. (One of these days I need to bespeak me a suit from Saint Harridan, since they will know how to work around the tits-to-height ratio. Sigh.)
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From:That's all I got.
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From:Incidentally my brother had a phase of wearing only suits to school as teenager. I think it was his way to stand out via clothing, because without school uniforms none of the other students dressed formally and most of the teacher neither, so he probably stood out more than if he had worn ripped jeans with green hair or something.
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From:My nephews are 12 (okay, pause for boggling of mind there for a bit, returning now) and one of them has developed the very same suit thing. Fond of white shirts, ties, tailored vests. Would probably wear spats if allowed. Erm, not sure where this came from, as he's a gamer dork and doesn't watch much cable tv.
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From:Also, it is fascinating to get glimpses of life with Child when Child is, you know, a teenager -- rather than four and a half, as is mine at this moment. :-)
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From:...God, four and a half. I remember when you posted right after he was born!
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From:I realize that this is an unbelievable cliché, but it is the total truth.
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From:Do let us know if Child manages to catch Pete Wentz for you. xD
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From:I think a well-curated funky tie collection is an excellent look, ftr. It says "I know what a grown-up looks like and am choosing to ignore it," which ages much better than "I'm going to pretend I'm still sixteen FOREVER."
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From:Flash forward a dozen years, and while I'm still working in accounting, I don't wear fashionable, feminine suits so much as "charcoal grey conservative uniform" -- woollen pleated skirt, woolen vest, woolen cardigan, long-sleeved grey/black top underneath, flat black shoes in summer and and flat-ish knee high black boots in winter with black tights/leggings. I am monochrome and conservative in that school-uniform/trendy back in Downton Abbey days way.
And the best part of it is that I don't have to think about matching in the mornings, because grey + black works easy.
Still, I guess the answer to Child is corporate. Anything high-powered, CBD-based and corporate requires good, expensive suits. Law and accounting for something conservative, marketing/sales for something a little more edgy, management and economics for something inbetween.
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