insta!rec - alphas, betas, omegas: a primer by norabombay

Alphas, Betas, Omegas: A Primer by norabombay - all you ever wanted to know about A/B/O'verses, in detail. If you could only see the conversation this came from.



For When Alpha's Knotting and You're Fucking Bored - A Conversation in Many Parts
by Seperis, Nora Bombay, SVMadleyn, and TricksterQuinn

Nora Bombay
Nora Bombay: I didn't even talk about the sheer bordom level
Nora Bombay: lord, I want to write a fic with a/o sherlock holmes
Nora Bombay: in which he is bored to death and stuck. Apparently it's considered poor etiqute to text during hour 17 of knotting
Seperis: Dude.
Seperis: I'd have my laptop and be freaking chatting.
Nora Bombay: I wouldn't make it 20 min
Nora Bombay: maybe an hour?
Seperis: Could you imagine the conversations?
Seperis: Nora Bombay: How's it going?
Seperis: Seperis: Still fucking knotting.
Seperis: Nora Bombay: Leg cramps already?
Seperis: Seperis: You have no idea. Any new fic??
Nora Bombay: Nora Bombay: serious. bored now
Nora Bombay: Is it poor form to time the orgasms like contractions?
Seperis: We'd have to create a new genre of recs.
Nora Bombay: I have a mental countdown for 'you are going home now'
Seperis: Recs For When Alpha's Knotting and You're Fucking Bored
Nora Bombay: gen fic, with no sex at all
Nora Bombay: complicated political thrillers
Seperis: Whole new vistas of gen fic.

Quinn
Quinn: I am dying over here, I want you to know that

Madelyn
Madelyn: oh god
Madelyn: "maybe it's just the knotting talking but I'd really fucking like a root beer float"
Madelyn: "can't move to get one. I mean, we could, but--that'd just be undignified."
Madelyn: "you'd think we'd plan this better and have snacks nearby"
Seperis: There'd be a whole grocery aisle for it.
Seperis: God, my Keurig coffee maker would get a workout.
Seperis: I'm pretty sure falling asleep would be impossible, even if allowed.

Nora Bombay
Nora Bombay: You could just buy it in coolers
Nora Bombay: return the cooler post heat
Nora Bombay: and the absorbant bed sheets
Nora Bombay: What if you have to pee?
Nora Bombay: Run out of cigarettes & diet coke
Seperis: ...Christ, I have no idea.

Madelyn
Madelyn: well, I bet there's a delivery service
Madelyn: like, specifically catering to knotters
Madelyn: if it was a world with knotting
Madelyn: like, your pizza will be there in 30 minutes
Madelyn: the pizza dudes have the keys
Seperis: Pizza delivery would never be more welcome.
Madelyn: and all sign NDAs
Madelyn: so the pizza dude is like, the most noble of jobs now in society
Madelyn: it's a sacred trust
Madelyn: "you guys got everything you need?"
Madelyn: "Yeah, thanks Sam!"
Madelyn: "okay, you guys watch that hot cheese on your bits! we had an incident a couple weeks back; hate for you two to go down like that."
Madelyn: "Thanks for looking out for us, Sam!" etc.

Nora Bombay
Nora Bombay: the LAUNDRY
Nora Bombay: the need to check work email during heat
Seperis: My schedule at work I'd be running tests while knotting.
Seperis: Boy I'd get flexible fast for that
Nora Bombay: USA is behind all other countries in heat leave
Nora Bombay: people are expected to be working up until the point o knotting!
Seperis: There's just no world this would end well for anyone.
Seperis: Dude, my attention span at the best of times is capricious.
Seperis: Knotting would just not work.

Quinn
Quinn: OH MY GOD HEAT LEAVE



You see this is a complex issue that should be explored very fully. I'm stuck on teh laundry sitch. I mean. Dear God. Rubber sheets?

Comments

[tricksterquinn]

You'd need to design a room which could just be HOSED DOWN after... and maybe bedding which could just be torched?

[seperis]

The hose-down room and burn-bed room yeah. That much semen just--rubber sheets or that, you know?

[norabombay]

All of these details? I have saved for part II.

In which we cover practicalities & laws.

The tampon section alone should be traumatic.

[inoru_no_hoshi]

... I love that this is, like, one of the first things on my reading page after I got home. LOVE.

[seperis]

WE SHOULD EXPLORE ALL OF THIS SO MUCH MORE THAN WE HAVE.

...your icon is freaking love, okay? THAT IS LOVE RIGHT THERE.

[green_grrl]

And happy Sunday morning to you, too! :D

There's a reason I skip over fics labeled A/O, and it falls between "bored now" and JFC I can't take this seriously! What happened to all the BDSM verses? Won't somebody please think of the subs?!

[seperis]

*wistful* It's sometimes kind of like BDSM'verse? Dude, I read my first Dean/Castiel omega-verse and I needed the primer.

[aurora]

...Wow.

[seperis]

It's very beautiful and moving.

[jadey]

Brilliant! My only quibble is that there has definitely been Omega-verse-style stories around longer than J2, because I'm certain I was on a steady diet of them as a 13-year-old scouring Geocities sites for, like, Sentinel fic or something inspired by gay bestiality porn.

... and now I feel fandom-old.

[seperis]

See, The Sentinel had that one with litters and multiple nipples, I remember. Hmm. An earlier example of A/B/O, though I think Betas were less regular people and more a necessary part of the triad.

...with the entire humping at random thing. *swallows*

[lorax]

This has made my Sunday SO MUCH BETTER.

Also, my first introduction to the a/o/b universe idea came through someone writing an actual guide/meta about how it worked. I had not really SEEN it before then, so my first exposure was reading how the mechanics of it worked and I was like ". . . this exists? Like, COMMONLY?"

And now I'm in Teen Wolf fandom and it is pretty much standard practice.

SGA

[pudacat]

Rodney: GODDAMMIT JOHN! You KNEW I was close! I avoided you for a REASON! Now Zelenka has to finish saving the city!

John: Grunts, and comes again.

Rodney: Oh, very nice. WILL SOMEONE PLEASE BRING ME COFFEE??? Thank God I'm on the Pill.

John: Grunts, and comes again.

Rodney: I swear you do this on purpose. Why are you never around when KAVANAUGH heats!? Bastard. You do this on purpose.

John: Grunts, and comes again.

Rodney: My poor prescription mattress. TEYLA! I NEED HELP!

John: Grunts, and comes again. "Too bad. She's knotting Ronon, and is unavailable."

Rodney: I hate you all. And how is that even possible? SHE DOESN'T HAVE A COCK!

John: Grunts, and comes again.

Re: SGA

[kickair8p]

::gigglefit!::

~

society will FALL APART without betas

[lilian_cho]

Sam the pizza guy has to be a beta or it won't work!

It's like, everyone wants a beta when they're dealing with the service industry. Alphas and omegas just invite all sorts of lawsuits. Alphas would get too sexual-harASS-y with omega customers, and omegas would get at least one alpha stalker customer.

[silentcs]

This whole thing has made me laugh so much, my neighbors are probably suspicious. I will most likely still be laughing tomorrow.

luxe, calme, et volupte

[auroramama]

So awesome! And thank you for giving us the primary source material in the form of you guys being side-achingly funny by turns.

For me, at least, a good part of the appeal of such 'verses is the way heat takes precedence over all mundane activities. It actually reminds me of =The Left Hand of Darkness=, and specifically the much later short story about Sov and the kemmerhouse in Karhide. Gethenians don't have the fun of little sexual thrills every day, because they're asexual out of heat; but when they're in kemmer, *everything else stops*. No one expects you to show up for work: if you don't have a specific partner, it's off to the kemmerhouse for several days of pure sex.

Knots sound wicked uncomfortable to me (hours of pressure on the other orifices? Female dogs must have their urinary tracts arranged a little differently.) But I get the appeal of a physically enforced day off.

[apetslife.livejournal.com]

Oh oh oh! I remember this from Harry Potter, only there it was almost always Veela-fic (and less knotting, I think). Thank you thank you for the link to that primer, I'd been passingly confused over how this trope suddenly had an actual name and everything, since before I think we all just called it...I have no idea.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Veelafic! I remember some of those!

Yeah, I'm not sure what this was before it grew up and had assbabies of knotting passion.

[counteragent.livejournal.com]

Lololololol yes

[simplystars.livejournal.com]

OMG someone does need to write BORED!Sherlock a/o fic because that HASN'T BEEN DONE WHYYYY?!?! and OMG HYSTERICAL.

I wasn't going to comment and own my kink, but what the heck, after reading the conversation I was LOLing to hard to do anything else. :D

/resumes lurking

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I finally ran across some and oh, the primer. Helped.

[verasteine.livejournal.com]

You lot are a hoot, and I'm totally running off to read this thing. Brilliant.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I feel more educated just knowing it's there.

[nianeyna.livejournal.com]

Laughing like a crazy person.

THE NOBLE PROFESSION OF PIZZA DUDE OMG.

[droolfangrrl.livejournal.com]

From the hubby "what's su fun... No nevermind."

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

I love y'all. You knew that, though.