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Monday, April 9th, 2012 07:54 am
could i call this allegorical?
I feel I should be clear that I in fact do support Your Kink Is Okay as a fandom and social movement as it strives to make us all better at a.) accepting other people's kinks or b.) flocking and filtering the hell out of our secret horror, y'know, whichever, it's only provable hypocrisy if someone sees it who doesn't agree with you. I approve of this.
But I realize now there are what we might call drawbacks when you are unashamed about your particular kink(s); before, due to, well, shame, you didn't actively seek it out, or at least you were kind of crappy at it because every so often you'd have to see the keywords you typed into google and/or an archive full text search and close the browser abruptly in terror, and while secretly you thought there was nothing wrong with it, you could also convince yourself that the reason there was so little of it was twofold:
1.) you weren't looking due to shame (false, google history doesn't lie)
2.) shame is what kept people from writing the shit out of it (oh God, false)
Two is going to kill you. Because as you may find out, you now proudly surf the kinkmemes of the world and realize either internalized shame is a real problem and:
a.) sulk
b.) rant in your journal (recommended!)
Or realize, hey, perhaps it's just this is rather specialized, and now that you're unashamed, your appetite wetted, and there is nothing out there, which what the hell, people, free your mind or something.
This is in some ways worse when all your kinks are very to fairly common, which is Yay! but not so much together, and not that this happened to me or anything, you are surfing along and suddenly The Fic of Five Common Yet Strangely Rarely Combined Kinks (FCYSRCK for short) appears, like a miracle, and you realize you were wrong, it's out there, and this is a sign that the world is a better place, and thank God that entire shame thing ended.
You may forget, however, to read the warnings, which--to put it bluntly, if you need to add extra warnings to a FCYSRCK, read the fuck out of those first because you might say--hypothetically--each of those very common yet rarely combined kinks qualify as a warning in themselves, so when the warnings are a paragraph long in addition to the tags blazing unshamefully across livejournal, I feel that's something that one should pay attention to, because seriously, a paragraph of warnings on FCYSRCK.
Let's say one did not do that, and the FCYSRCK proceeds along apace until you are blindsided by one of thoseignored missing warnings. Which you stop there and backbutton forever--lie, it's FCYSRCK and it may be the only one in creation, so you deal, and also, let's face it, the author definitely surprised you with that one, and it doesn't occur to you that surprises are bad and also, this has two parts and you haven't finished part 1 and yet again, when you weren't looking at the header, the number of lines for warnings was greater than or equal to six in what seemed to be very small print.
You also still completely neglect to read the warnings, even though you realize you should, because at this point, you want to be able to work with plausible deniability--you had no idea!--and not that you were just that goddamn desperate.
You will later go back and look numbly at the warnings that spelled out all the reasons you will never sleep again, in your life, or look at existence the same way, then check them off as reasons nothing will ever surprise you again, or that could be the fact you have burned out your finer feelings during part 2, which you remember in a series of perfect flashes that narrate a kind of wistfulness for the days you were ashamed, because wow, what the hell was that.
So how was everyone else's weekend?
But I realize now there are what we might call drawbacks when you are unashamed about your particular kink(s); before, due to, well, shame, you didn't actively seek it out, or at least you were kind of crappy at it because every so often you'd have to see the keywords you typed into google and/or an archive full text search and close the browser abruptly in terror, and while secretly you thought there was nothing wrong with it, you could also convince yourself that the reason there was so little of it was twofold:
1.) you weren't looking due to shame (false, google history doesn't lie)
2.) shame is what kept people from writing the shit out of it (oh God, false)
Two is going to kill you. Because as you may find out, you now proudly surf the kinkmemes of the world and realize either internalized shame is a real problem and:
a.) sulk
b.) rant in your journal (recommended!)
Or realize, hey, perhaps it's just this is rather specialized, and now that you're unashamed, your appetite wetted, and there is nothing out there, which what the hell, people, free your mind or something.
This is in some ways worse when all your kinks are very to fairly common, which is Yay! but not so much together, and not that this happened to me or anything, you are surfing along and suddenly The Fic of Five Common Yet Strangely Rarely Combined Kinks (FCYSRCK for short) appears, like a miracle, and you realize you were wrong, it's out there, and this is a sign that the world is a better place, and thank God that entire shame thing ended.
You may forget, however, to read the warnings, which--to put it bluntly, if you need to add extra warnings to a FCYSRCK, read the fuck out of those first because you might say--hypothetically--each of those very common yet rarely combined kinks qualify as a warning in themselves, so when the warnings are a paragraph long in addition to the tags blazing unshamefully across livejournal, I feel that's something that one should pay attention to, because seriously, a paragraph of warnings on FCYSRCK.
Let's say one did not do that, and the FCYSRCK proceeds along apace until you are blindsided by one of those
You also still completely neglect to read the warnings, even though you realize you should, because at this point, you want to be able to work with plausible deniability--you had no idea!--and not that you were just that goddamn desperate.
You will later go back and look numbly at the warnings that spelled out all the reasons you will never sleep again, in your life, or look at existence the same way, then check them off as reasons nothing will ever surprise you again, or that could be the fact you have burned out your finer feelings during part 2, which you remember in a series of perfect flashes that narrate a kind of wistfulness for the days you were ashamed, because wow, what the hell was that.
So how was everyone else's weekend?
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From:My weekend was pretty good. Sadly, I did not discover any new fics that seemed (falsely or not) perfect for me, but I cleaned a lot, made lemon curd for the first time, and the weather hasn't presented me with temperatures below freezing yet today! :D
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From:~
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From:...I cannot say with any kind of surety if I'd known I wouldn't have plugged on regardless and just tried to skim--which by the way, God--hence I'm attempting to not think I am this kind of person.
God, I miss kink shaming. *wistful* I was happy in my shame/denial spiral and had never read that.
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From:I'm sorry this fucked up your weekend, but it made for really great reading this morning for me.
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!!
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From:I helped my Mom garden this weekend, and am now sunburned. I don't like gardening. But the garden's starting to look good, and Mom's happy.
~
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From:You will later go back and look numbly at the warnings that spelled out all the reasons you will never sleep again, in your life, or look at existence the same way, then check them off as reasons nothing will ever surprise you again, or that could be the fact you have burned out your finer feelings during part 2, which you remember in a series of perfect flashes that narrate a kind of wistfulness for the days you were ashamed, because wow, what the hell was that.
Adore. <3 <3 <3
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From:ignoredmissing warnings. Which you stop there and backbutton forever--lie, it's FCYSRCK and it may be the only one in creation, so you dealI HAVE NEVER DONE THIS. *coughliescough* Why is it that some of the awesomest stuff are almost never combined - and when they are, it's, like, in a format you don't like readind, the author failed to warn for OH YEAH THIS THING I DON'T GENERALLY LIKE READING, or was written very, very badly? /woe
I'm sorry you got blindsided by the fic. I will sleep all your sleep for you. Aren't I generous? :P
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From:Our enjoyment of your pain, on the other hand....
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From:Also, 'bout the kink you were reading it for? Since it's that hard to find you could simply ask your circle/flist if they'd write some. You'd probably get some takers.
~
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From:In other news, this whole entry made me laugh OUT LOUD for REAL. Especially the paragraph of warnings. Greater than or equal to six lines of very small text. YES. Heeeeee.
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From:Uh, and I laughed reading this. I probably shouldn't have. (Sorry! ^_^;; )
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From:Just sayin'.
It tastes like peaches!
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From:Up until ten years ago I thought I was the oddest and kinkiest person in the world plus that I was unique in my strange desire to read about two men getting it on.
Then I discovered the internet and fandom. Unique? Hah. (Positively vanilla.)
*runs away*
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From:Slash is educational. *nods*
And hot.
Um.
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From:I think reading kink fanfic has TOTALLY ruined me for real fiction. I read Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and when the Muggles who read it were freaking out, I was like "meh, I've seen worse". I mean I was permanently scarred by a couple of Angelus/Spike fics that would have been snuff if the leads hadn't been vampires and having Angelus skin Spike's dick like he was peeling the skin off a banana kind of took the shock value out of the anal rape scene.
The worst was watching that scene in the Daniel Craig movie and thinking "Oh my God, I am so fucking HUNGRY. Did I see an Olive Garden in this shopping center because I would totally kill someone for a big plate of spaghetti right now."
Fandom gives us the delicate moral fiber of those brushy fiber door mat thingies.
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From:What fandom was this FCYSRCK in? Is it one that will lead to me adding my voice to those demanding a link? (Which at the present time basically boils down to Avengers or Sherlock.)
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Issue #354
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