seperis | i never really looked at chalk the same way after that

While reading

sf_drama, I had a flashback from high school. I don't know if I've ever shared it, possibly because I was being kind or something. Who knows?

My comment:

Two separate high school teachers pointed out that men prefer to marry virgins. The second one used a piece of tape against the blackboard to illustrate how sex with more than one person caused a woman--I cannot believe I am typing this--to lose her ability to bond with a husband, which is similar to how women bond with their children, while sticking it and removing it from the chalkboard in a live-action sequence to show how bonding is like tape, and sex is like chalk powder.

This. Actually. Happened.

She was my Spanish II teacher, I was a senior, I have no fucking clue what the hell that was about. She also talked with truly unnecessary detail about waxing. The first teacher who was on the virgin kick was a football coach who taught health.

Granted, it does not lessen the power of this memory to share it, but I feel better knowing that image is now implanted on other people's minds. Tape = bonding, chalk dust = sex.

You're welcome.

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BTS List
That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
AIM, 3/25/2004
Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
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Twitter
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-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
Twitter, 6/19/2019
Adding for Mastodon.
-- Jenn, traceback
Fosstodon, 11/6/2022

I...oh man.

This is like that time my elementary school brought in a priest to talk to our class about how masturbation turns girls into whores. I think he had a pie chart and, like, biblical statistics? Like, "three out of every four shepherds agree that masturbation turned one of their eighteen wives into a total prostitute."

I told my mom, she boggled, then sat me in the kitchen with "Our Bodies, Ourselves" and basically told me to take two and call her in the morning.

biblical statistics? Like, "three out of every four shepherds agree that masturbation turned one of their eighteen wives into a total prostitute."

This is possibly the best thing ever. Now I want a Daily Show-style documentary with shots of forlorn shepherds tending their mournful flocks and talking-head pundit-prophets giving us these totally factual stats.

i never really looked at chalk the same way after that

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