Stupid things that made me happy this week:

My Dell mini has face recognition software. People, we live in the future.

For those with webcams who have been doing this for years, shut the fuck up, I got excited. Mostly because a.) I hate webcams, b.) the point of the internet is I can be social without makeup, clean clothing, or even vaguely acceptable hygiene, and c.) well, see b, really. So this is all new territory. I currently use it to randomly log into my mini just when I get bored. Hiberate it, open the lid, watch it log me in, and cackle. Repeat eighty times.

This is in fact how I entertain myself when the servers go down. Oh please try to judge me. I can log into Absinthe the mini with my smile*!

(* Note: I don't actually smile at work. I try to keep expectations extremely low on both my appearance and my mood, so it's an event when I a.) wear eyeliner, b.) wear something that isn't a hoodie, and c.) smile. The week Star Trek came out and the week after I was a goddamn fashion plate of joy and scared the crap out of most of my coworkers, who believed the apocalypse was nigh.)

Things that scare me:

From Cracked (my obsessions are quite obsessive):

Five Reasons You Should Be Scared of Apple which I consider like, totally legit, but also, see the Number One Reason.

Wait. I can link you to the article that inspired it.

From Huffington: Forced Interaction Commercials

Voila! Finally, Apple can deal with that silly human attention span and desire not to see one more ad for a Toyota with accelerator issues--we have to interact with the commercial to get it to go away. Wait. Think about this one. Not only do you have to watch the commercial about the miracle of dishwashing detergent, you will be tested on it or something. Tested. On. The Commercial.

Okay, let me be blunt here. Before nine am and at least one cup of coffee or two highly caffeinated beverages and some mindless surfing, if you quizzed me on my name and gender, there's a good to excellent chance I would answer with syllables that don't appear in any human language.

I am going to grant, it does not specifically say 'will test your comprehension of this commercial', more than it verifies you are paying attention and will lock your system if you don't comply.

The thing is, the wet dream of corporations who handle software has been some way to make us buy teh same thing all the time. New releases every year (anything Adobe, anything Quicken, etc) aren't cutting it anymore. Making us constantly pay for the privilege of using something has been on the table for-freaking-ever, and it's not like broadband doesn't encourage the idea that rent-to-never-own is a viable and workable option. Basically, the idea is stripping out any concept of personal ownership of anything, which software and music are doing wonderfully with current technology as it stands. And in limited doses, we do in fact pay constantly for internet real estate right now--anyone who owns a website deep down knows we're really just renters of both our space and our names and the landlord can be a total dick and incinerate our stuff at a moment's notice. I mean, RL landlords can't even do that.

I have an entire rant on the recent fits sites are throwing about adblock and noscript being used (hint: go to fandom-wank now), and my ethical standards of usage (I will buy music, I will buy software, I will buy licenses, I will even buy internet real estate, because these things are important to me and I can verify amounts and times with my bank statements and credit card statements) are hitting against a serious mental block that not only is what limited space I can get free of advertising being threatened (hint: tiny space), I could not only be forced to watch it for my tech to function but verify I am watching it, and people. I don't pay full attention to crossing the fucking street, a commercial doesn't stand a chance. Think about this being added to those goddamn bluray trailers for a second that right now take magical button-pushign abilities to skip. This could be your life.

I mean, not that I am saying this is all about me, but I am saying, if they were custom designing this torture for me after I've been good faith buying my music, dvds, blurays, game consoles, games, software, televisions, vcrs, dvd players, bluray players, and more computer parts than anyone should own but a wholesaler, something has to give. It might be my sanity, but likely, it will be my willingness to do those things anymore without a court order, and trust me, I do not have enough in the way of personal wealth to feel like there's all that much I have to lose. Ooh, fine me for a million? Love to see how you collect that. I live in Austin. We have a lot of free range wireless internet that don't even involve going to a coffee shop and I know where the good cardboard boxes can be had (hint: everywhere).

This has been a message from my sheer horror when I saw the visio flow chart. Dear God.
libitina: Wei Yingluo from Story of Yanxi Palace in full fancy costume holding a gaiwan and sipping tea (Dune Sting will cut you)

From: [personal profile] libitina Date: 2010-03-17 11:53 pm (UTC)
And this is why I have given away for free every iPod I have ever won in a contest (or been given as a birthday gift) and why I refuse to have iTunes on my computer. Oh, yeah, and why it's a PC.

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 12:03 am (UTC)
I cop to iTunes, though since I got my deeply awesome Android phone I gave my iPod to my mom. I try to split my music purchases between Amazon and iTunes with mixed results.

But yeah, Apple is officially something I will not buy. Just seeing that flowchart made me queasy.

From: [identity profile] apetslife.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-17 11:59 pm (UTC)
Oh god, YES, I love that article, even though I was already terrified of Apple. I also adore watching people discover and read lots of Cracked, it's my obsessive first-thing-in-the-morning read every day and I LOVE it, if only because it is one of the few sites where so much of the humor is aimed right at me (IT, science fiction, action movies, etc.).

I'll tell you right now, if an ad ever, ever, EVER makes me interact with it in any way that doesn't involve "right click/adblock" or "fast-forward," not only will the advertiser never again get a single penny of my money, but my howls of outrage will reach Biblical levels. And even though I know it'd probably be futile (I cannot BELIEVE the bullshit ads people put up with on Facebook! how the hell do humans survive without ad-blocking add-ons to their browser of choice???), I'd write some very very nasty letters. At least.
edited at: Date: 2010-03-18 12:00 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 12:05 am (UTC)
I spent more time than Facebook deserves obsessively adblocking it to hell to get rid of everything there, and I stopped using it altogether when even then stuff got through. I mean, seriously. No. I am not dealing with forced-watching. They managed to make it worse than network television. That takes some serious effort.

From: [identity profile] apetslife.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 12:11 am (UTC)
I managed to group-block pretty much every Facebook ad, so I've got an ad-free experience...looking at other peoples' screenshots just freaks me the fuck out. My sister was checking her facebook on her laptop, and literally HALF the page was ads. I asked her how she could stand it...she had no idea that there was an option to block them!

We just pushed Firefox with Adblock and Flashblock built in, as a Group Policy Object, out to all the users where I work. It's like an epiphany for some of these folks.

At least with network TV you can go get a drink or take a leak or whatever. Hit the mute button! You can't do that with ads running in your viewspace that are requiring that you INTERACT WITH THEM, holy shit.

Anonymous really needs to perk the hell up on this, stop stalking people who post fake cat-abuse pics to /b/, and actually be useful for once.

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 01:04 am (UTC)
Yes, please. Protect the cats, fine, but protect the internetz plz.
ext_3386: (Default)

From: [identity profile] vito-excalibur.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 03:23 am (UTC)
how the hell do humans survive without ad-blocking add-ons to their browser of choice???

We install ad-blockers in our brains. (http://www.useit.com/alertbox/fancy-formatting.html) When Mr. E, who uses adblock, looks over my shoulder at my browser he freaks out at all the ads. I literally could not have told you they were there most of the time.

From: [identity profile] beck-liz.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 03:43 am (UTC)
Heh. This is true. I mean, I adblock all the time, but for those places which defy the adblock (or at work, where I don't have it), my eyes just don't even see the ads most of the time unless they're one of those giant, blinky, expanding ones that shout "LOOK AT ME!" Which, I suppose, is why Apple is trying to do what they're doing - to get more of the "LOOK AT ME!" kind of ads. *sigh*

From: (Anonymous) Date: 2010-03-18 12:04 am (UTC)
Yes. It is worrying, but when you stop to think about it, as soon as torrenting something (say, an audiobook) is easier than buying it (yes, I am looking at you, Aubible/Amazon, who are forcing me to install software which is CONSTANTLY running on my PC), they've lost me: I'll do without if necessary.

I guess you have already seen all the ranting and foaming about Assassin's Creed's DRM? If your high-speed internet connection even for a second, you lose your current game entirely or some such?

Unbelievable. Talk about a nazi state: how is this different from 1984 I ask you?

/ranting

Sorry. Ahem.

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 12:07 am (UTC)
I've been catching up on internet-reliant multiplayers since Child started playing them, and then the Spore controversy on only being able to activate your game three times? Not even concurrently, but because you needed to reinstall. Just. No.
ext_1951: (Default)

From: [identity profile] mremre.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 12:11 am (UTC)
Holy sheet! Yeah, I knew I didn't like Apple products mostly because it won't let me do what I want cause 'it isn't safe' but DAMN, compelling attention on ads? Whole new dimension of low. And I thought bricking iPhones was bad.

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 12:21 am (UTC)
I love jailbreaking your iphone--something you paid for--is grounds to destroy it. Seriously. WTF?

From: [identity profile] tricksterquinn.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 12:13 am (UTC)
----jesus. I just. *flails* NO WORDS. (coming to you from my macbook, of course)

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 12:21 am (UTC)
*laughs* Yes.

From: [identity profile] tricksterquinn.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 01:52 am (UTC)
Ain't that always the way?

From: [identity profile] batdina.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 12:27 am (UTC)
I have a PC and I have a Mac (I also have a Palm and an iPhone.) Unless I want to go linux on a no name mini, and use a prepaid cell, I can't escape it.

Which isn't to say that when I'm feeling particularly outlawish and like I'm a throwback to my former life, I don't seriously consider doing both of those things. But mostly, I hack and screw and spit and stay just this side of whatever behavior any large corporation is attempting to make criminal against me at any given time.

If apple gets that software patented, I give it a week until someone has figured out how to stop it. We're good that way, us geeks.

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 01:03 am (UTC)
That is true. Geekdom versus geekdom; the feral geek can do anything. *happy*

From: [identity profile] jamafanta.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 12:46 am (UTC)
That's why competition is really, really necessary. I accept ads on free services like LJ, although I get rid of them whenever possible, but on something I OWN? And the incredible offensiveness of "compelling the appropriate action?".

I would not be reasonable about that. I would take quite a large hit in terms of functionality and/or cost, and switch to a crappier product just for the pleasure of saying "fuck you".

LJ has just added an ad to my Inbox page, which is having the effect of squeezing the posts over to the right of the screen and so narrowing the field of view. Bah. Any idea how to make that go away?

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 12:55 am (UTC)
Would paid time be okay to get rid of that? I tried a quick right-click and it is doing weird things to the layout, so I took the easy way.

From: [identity profile] jamafanta.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 02:50 am (UTC)
Wow - thank you! That was incredibly nice of you! It's fantastic to have the whole screen back, especially on my itty bitty laptop.

Joy!

From: [identity profile] bbuttercup.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 01:11 am (UTC)
It's all very "Max Headroom" and Network 23.

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 03:44 am (UTC)
Where are our holographic heads fighting crime, I ask you? We're getting the crappy side but no crime fighting holograms. Just. What?

From: [identity profile] twilight-angel.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 03:35 am (UTC)
Wow, that's just. Wow. That's such a stupid, stupid thing to do. If Steve Jobs got that program installed on all Apple products that could take it, he'd lose so many customers who'd rather go back to PCs just to more freely search the web. I certainly would, and I love my Mac and iPod to an embarrassing degree; Apples just work really well for me.

If Steve Jobs were as business-savvy as I presume he is, however, he'd manipulate Microsoft into using the system, therefore pushing more people to buy Apple products as well as profiting for the use of his patent.

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 03:45 am (UTC)
I think Gates probably gets off to this idea so much. That's where he supposedly wants Office to end up eventually. Which is why I clutch all my old office software to my chest, just in case.

From: [identity profile] twilight-angel.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 02:22 pm (UTC)
Gates wants Office to have...ads? What. I just. What. Oh wow. How is anyone going to get any work done efficiently if they are forced to watch ads all the time, be it on the internet or Office? What if you're at a library that only has so many minutes in a time-slot that you can use? What if you need to get a memo out right that second? What if you're researching for a class? Oh, wait, no one cares about the actual consumers, sorry, forgot about that.

If that happens, it's time for a third computer company to come in, one that uses the best of both Mac and PC platforms, perhaps one that actually wants its customers happy (Heaven forbid!). Or else it's the end of the technology craze because there's only so much people are willing to put up with, and this sounds like a breaking point.

From: [identity profile] beck-liz.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 03:47 am (UTC)
I've had an iPod Touch for about five months now (i.e., the iPhone without having to sign up for AT&T), and I love it. HOWEVER, if it got to the point where they were interrupting my reading or whatever to show me an ad that I have to INTERACT with? I'd be gone in a heartbeat. OMG.

From: [identity profile] jamesinboots.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 03:47 am (UTC)
Five Reasons You Should Be Scared of Apple which I consider like, totally legit, but also, see the Number One Reason.

omg, THIS. One of the notes in #1 is why I hate downloading Apple products. I downloaded a QuickTime plug-in for Firefox or something a couple months ago, and since then every couple of days Firefox pops up an advertisement for a quicktime update I'm supposed to download, that includes downloads for Safari and iTunes checked by default. I refuse to update quicktime since those default checked downloads annoy my so much. I could just uncheck them, but seriously? Seriously?
ext_3629: blue wallpaper, leafy pattern (Default)

From: [identity profile] elizaria.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 09:22 am (UTC)
Oh. So I was thinking about buying a surffriendly phone. On my list of options was an iPhone. It's not anymore. (jailbreak your phone to USE it wtf?!!).

I am thinking about an Android phone though as Sony Ericsson sells them. But also HTC which is a phone I've never seen before. Nokia and Samsung is automatically out of the race as I don't like their menues/style. I don't know much about the Android though... I'll have to look into it

/Swedish

From: [identity profile] nacbrie.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 01:19 pm (UTC)
This is why I'm ambivalent about PCs (that don't run Vista) but hate Macs. Using Windows is like doing the laundry, or paying taxes, or something: we both know it's unpleasant, but it has to be done. Whereas, using a Mac, I'm expected to like using it or something, and it just ends up creeping me the fuck out.

From: [identity profile] amegoddess.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 04:09 pm (UTC)
Ha ha ha, I own both a PC(laptop) and a Mac(desktop). It's not like they both don't have issue on this particular thing with copy protection and DRMs and programs that run all the f-ing time in the background...

But I will cut a bitch if either of them make me watch commercials and pay attention.

One of our DVD players won't let me skip the previews and ads on my Kungfoo Panda DVD, so it will play the damn previews unskipable every F-ing time my response is to shut off the TV screen until it finishes.

-Diana

From: [identity profile] eponymousanon.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-18 11:55 pm (UTC)
So just something to point out... AFAIK, the patent relates to "discount" products (i.e. get a free iPad from Company A! And see Company A ads all the freaking time!). They can't try to pull that kind of maneuver on people paying the full list price without coming up HARD against complaints, if not outright legal issues. That being said, any plan to commoditize devices like that is ridiculous. I'd rather not buy a device at all than pay extra to NOT have ads on it. That list? Also why I keep my MacBook's software updates on "manual".
medie: queen elsa's grand entrance (trek - stxi - uhura pssht)

From: [personal profile] medie Date: 2010-03-19 12:42 am (UTC)
well, if I didn't hate Apple before (bought my first Ipod this year. Went like SIX MONTHS between updates wherein the damn thing was fucked to hell and back. Loading songs any way other than Itunes was, well, practically impossible.) I'd say this kills me ever buying a Mac. I didn't like their angle before, but now it's just downright skeevy.

ext_2955: black and white photo of flying birds and a lamp-post (Truth makes no sense)

From: [identity profile] azdaja-dafema.livejournal.com Date: 2010-03-23 12:55 am (UTC)
It scares me.

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