two highly recommended warnings essays

As This Is My Life

So apparently, someone doing roadwork cut through our cable line, and we have a.) no cable, b.) no internet and c.) no phone. Which means tonight, may not be on if I can't get the tethering to work between John II and Arthur. However, Arthur the G1 and I are going to bond like whoa. Just. G3 is not very fast. So we'll see how that's going to work out.

ETA: Have internetz! They fixed it! Shocking.

Warnings

Sexual Assault, Triggering, and Warnings: An Essay by impertinence

Warning: Very explicit discussion of sexual assault and the nature, anatomy, cause & effect of triggers. Is itself triggery.

In response to this essay, I've had a complete reversal on my general attitude of whatever on warnings. Sure, it should not take someone gutting themselves publicly for me to work out why this is so important, but there you go, that's what it actually took in this case. That is perhaps one of the hardest things I've read in the last year, bar none. Recommended reading no matter what side of the warning debate you are on and in my opinion required reading if you're going to debate this topic at all, ever, anywhere.

Also recommended:

Warnings by zvi_likes_tv at Dreamwidth, with an alternate perspective on the warning issue, along with very good conversations in comments (actually, both essays have both great and faintly terrifying commentary). I'm going to say whatever side you are on, this, too, should be read thoroughly before engaging.

ETA: reginagiraffe linked in comments to kalpurna's post on easy ways to do warnings. We shall all read and learn and do better.

For me, I think I'll just automatically add a line to all headers (and if I don't, someone for the love of God slap me for stupidity; I'm adding it to my autotext header in MSWord now) for Warning and either enter None or See Cut for a separate section before the story starts. I don't often have the more common trigger issues in my fic, but honestly, since I haven't thought about warnings, I very well may have and just haven't paid attention to it.

Comments

[seperis.livejournal.com]

And I am chickening out and commenting anonymously for the very same reason; that being in that place (having a calm, calculated plan which would have had a very high likelihood of success given my circumstances) is a very recent experience for me, and I therefore do not feel able to jump into this discussion with people whom I don't know through my own LJ. I hope this is understandable.

Very understandable and completely all right; I'm just glad you felt comfortable enough to comment at all. My only experience with this concept is through people's essays (like impertinence's) and some reading I did this afternoon for more context, though honestly, three paragraphs in was enough, I think, to illustrate the absolute necessity. That anything could set off a mental chain reaction that's this personally debilitating is terrible enough; the idea of anyone navigating fandom with that potential following them without being given the most basic tools for navigation, while those of us, including me, withhold the tools is sickening.

Thank you very much for further explanation. I'm sorry that it came to the point in fandom where all of us were so careless it was necessary to make something so personal and painful open to public debate. There's no way I can understand completely what everyone who has this goes through, but the explanations have shown just how much damage we're doing out of ignorance.

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you for owning up to your mistake and doing so publicly, so that I could feel safe enough to at least discuss this anonymously. It takes guts, and I respect you immensely for that. I wish I were able to make this point more publicly, because a post would undoubtedly reach more people than the few that might stumble across my comments here.

But if it means that someone might change how they view things in regards to warning for mental health/self-harm/suicide topics, and that someone, somewhere can make that informed decision instead of ending up reaching for that razorblade, or overdosing on those pills, then that is something, and unfortunately, it has to be enough for me for the time being. But it needed to be said, especially because fandom is often a route to escape those very thought patterns that one often cannot control (hence the term "automatic thoughts"), and therefore it should be a safe place in that regard.

Also, at least as it concerns mental health issues - 1 in 4 people will experience some mental health problem within a given year. That means that even if you (who is reading this) might not know so, it's incredibly likely that you know *someone* in person who's battled with these issues in some form or another. Likelihood is that they simply don't feel able to discuss these issues, one, because they are so deeply personal, two, because stigma, unfortunately, still exists and fear of how people might react might keep them silen. That's why I feel very strongly that the topic of mental health, period, needs to be addressed much more openly, but I digress.

For clarification, I've never been raped (although I only recently acknowledged that I did experience what boils down to repeated, if unknowing, unintentional sexual harrassment at the hands of my younger brother when I was in my teens, so perhaps I can relate in some minuscule fashion), so I feel I cannot (and am not trying to) speak with authority on the non-con/dub-con side of things here, although it is, of course, by no means less important.

And as a final note, for anybody struggling to understand the rational/emotional disconnect I'm referencing, I suggest looking up cognitive behavioural therapy, as it deals with that very thing as its basis/central focus.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I wanted to thank you for the conversation you and shopfront are having below. I haven't wanted to interrupt, but I've been following along (and wiki'ing/googling as necessary to make sure I keep up), so just a quick thanks for spending the time going into this kind of detail. Like Impertinence's post, it's been extremely enlightening on the concept. Depression I understand, but the problems associated with triggers are--not necessarily foreign, but not something I've ever seen discussed outside of really tasteless jokes. So thank you sincerely for the effort you took to do this. I do appreciate it.