in the spirit of health and futures

Me-Ness

Okay, so I am less filled with personal tragedy atm, but just know there's like, a very low possibility that in five days you will not see me enacting new and dramatic renditions on the unfairness of life as I know it.

This is the full sense approach to post-bronchitis (sort of) life; this will be my reminder why I don't smoke.

1.) taste - here are the the things that taste bad == EVERYTHING. In the spirit of experiment, and because let's face it, I do this shit when I'm feeling particularly sorry for myself, I have licked sugar straight from palm and salt straight from palm to see where this could be going. Despite the fact they were noticeably themselves, my taste buds are registering them as Unholy Evil. Also Unholy Evil: broccoli, coffee, pepsi (which is also--I don't know how this happened?--no longer sweet), hamburgers, bread, butter, candy, air.

2.) smell - we are not even talking about this. I'm either not able to smell (see congestion) or I'm picking up likee, mold and the stench of death and destruction in a post-apocalyptic world. IDEK.

3.) other stuff - nausea, yeah, and weird nausea wiht no particular focus. Like a--floating nausea, if you will, that only comes by when doing tasks like fixing one's hair, showering, or expressing an opinion on the Weather Channel.

[...yes, I have had the weather channel on for a few--days now? It's very soothing.]

4.) fatigue - okay, yes, I know this is a normal thing and I'm lazy, so I shouldn't notice this? Yet I do.

5.) weight loss



This one is complicated, and has like, a lot to do with I spent my teens and twenties functionally near emaciated due to a high metabolism (and athletics. and cheerleading. And depression. blah blah blah). If there is one thing that burns out your ability to look at supermodels and think oooh, pretty, it's seeing your cheerleading pictures at similiar height and weight and feeling vaguely nauseated and kind of terrified of your own cheekbones Also, my sister is like, under 100 and trust me, it's revelatory. So there is like, been a faint sense of half-shame with the general sense of looking at pictures and feeling pleased and comfortable. And then there's that thing where my bra size went up an entire cup? I am not going back, okay? I'm just not. And yet. Between my thyroid and bronchitis and everything, I'm not--comfortable again.



Right. Done with that.

Ted Kennedy

From tzikeh's LJ, quoted from GQ

He has been an ally of blacks, American Indians, the poor, the sick, the aged, the mentally ill, starving refugees worldwide and immigrants. He has been an outspoken liberal, unafraid to take the controversial positions—on issues such as busing, abortion, gun control, the Vietnam War (late but forcefully), the nuclear freeze and capital punishment—that other senators clearly avoided.

I don't know if in all the world there's a greater way to be remembered.

So.

I'm going to show you my privilege.

This is the sixth time in three years I've had bronchitis. It's the fourth time since I was twice hospitalized for atypical pneumonia, which is still an unending mystery in my medical records. I am one of those in America who can afford to get sick. I can afford to get sick and afford to get well again. All it takes is a card I carry in my purse and my social security number.

There are some--truly amazing things about death courts and not having control fo your health and just--right, sure, I know that's important things going on there. But here is where I will explain what was the most importnat thing to me in my life.

In November 2006, I got out of bed still groggy, crossed the room, and realized I couldn't catch my breath. When I sat down, I couldn't draw a deep breath. On the drive to my doctor, I started losing consciousness in the car. When my mother half carried me to a seat, she took my purse, my wallet, and she took my medical card, and in less than a minute, I could breathe again. Thirty-five seconds of that was me not able to understand what they were trying to do with that goddamn mask.

I could breathe, and I was taken to an ambulance, admitted to a hospital, and handed over to every specialist who thought my x-rays looked cool. And there was delicious food. I'm going to say now, for the uninsured, this is not typical. I know because one of my earliest clients as a welfare caseworker were a Stage Four liver disease, a schizophrenic, a pregnant family, a cancer survivor, a single guy with a shitty job.

Let me shorten this: here is what I cared about that day I woke up and the pneumonia struck. I didn't actually give a really good shit about anything but remembering what it felt like to breathe. So you know, if someone, somewhere, will tell me how we can achieve universal health care that will be bipartisan? I am all over that. However, I'll be honest; I don't actually care.

We have waited, and we have hoped, and we have watched, and we have been promised, and we have been failed. We have been failed. This is the meaning of duty: to do what is right when it is not easy; to do what is true even when it is hard; to do what is needed rather than what is desired; to recognize your own weakness and try to be better; to be afraid and then stand up and do it anyway. Pass the health care bill. And shove it through the teeth of opposition to get it there.

Comments

[wolfshark]

We have waited, and we have hoped, and we have watched, and we have been promised, and we have been failed. We have been failed. This is the meaning of duty: to do what is right when it is not easy; to do what is true even when it is hard; to do what is needed rather than what is desired; to recognize your own weakness and try to be better; to be afraid and then stand up and do it anyway. Pass the health care bill. And shove it through the teeth of opposition to get it there.


THIS!

May I metaquote?

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Er, sure! *grins*

[grimmhill.livejournal.com]

"We have waited, and we have hoped, and we have watched, and we have been promised, and we have been failed. We have been failed. This is the meaning of duty: to do what is right when it is not easy; to do what is true even when it is hard; to do what is needed rather than what is desired; to recognize your own weakness and try to be better; to be afraid and then stand up and do it anyway. Pass the health care bill. And shove it through the teeth of opposition to get it there."

Thank you. This last paragraph encapsulates so much of what I have been trying to formulate in my own head in response to what I hear on this issue.

If you don't otherwise follow her journal, liz_marcs has an interesting set of posts collecting personal stories on health care and insurance (http://liz-marcs.dreamwidth.org/359735.html- sorry I fail at html). Following the individual links is rather eye opening.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Oh, thanks for the link! *clicks now*

[archaeologist-d.livejournal.com]

We have waited, and we have hoped, and we have watched, and we have been promised, and we have been failed. We have been failed. This is the meaning of duty: to do what is right when it is not easy; to do what is true even when it is hard; to do what is needed rather than what is desired; to recognize your own weakness and try to be better; to be afraid and then stand up and do it anyway. Pass the health care bill. And shove it through the teeth of opposition to get it there.

THIS!

It's absolutely appalling that there isn't universal health care. We should be ashamed of ourselves. And I truly don't understand why people don't understand it.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Yes, this.

I--don't either. I seriously cannot conceptualize a system that denies life based on income. To me, that's so utterly insane it's unreal. I mean, that's just speaking as a liberal, not even as a Christian. As a Christian, it feels like a goddamn cardinal sin.

IDGI, yes.

*applause applaunse*

[viola69.livejournal.com]

Here's hoping as congress is reading the lengthy tributes to Ted Kennedy's legacy, that they aspire to be even 1/3 of the politician & representative that he was & they get their goshdarn act together and get Health Care Reform done now. No more waiting, no more political gamemanship- do what's right. And yeah- if it can't be bipartisan at this point, oh well.

Re: *applause applause!*

[viola69.livejournal.com]

& dang- wish you could edit replies so I could do away with that typo...

[sundayscat.livejournal.com]

Hi, i'm here somewhat randomly (i like your writing style). I hope you feel better soon and that the US gets a decent health-care system, it seems like a very scary thing not to have.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

And yes, that is pretty much what all of us are hoping for.

[drummertobeat.livejournal.com]

We have been failed. This is the meaning of duty: to do what is right when it is not easy; to do what is true even when it is hard; to do what is needed rather than what is desired; to recognize your own weakness and try to be better; to be afraid and then stand up and do it anyway. Pass the health care bill. And shove it through the teeth of opposition to get it there.

Fuck yes.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

That's pretty much every wish I have rolled into one hope here. Pass that damn thing.

[eleke.livejournal.com]

As someone who has thought, "My chest is killing me and it's hard to breathe... I hope it passes soon so I don't have to go to the hospital" I applaud you. Living without health insurance really really really blows - I live in fear for the day where I break a leg or get into a car accident and will require medical treatment. It's a scary thing not to have, when a doctor looking you over and giving you an ace bandage for a sprained wrist can cost upwards of two hundred dollars.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

This. I have a friend who gets ill during winter, and it's--ever since I really understood what pnemonia is? The winter months scare me.

*hugs* We have to get this through. There's no other option.

[ratcreature]

I must have missed something in your previous posts, but why has bronchitis an impact on your sense of taste at all? Is it a side effect of the drugs? I've never had a cough that needed serious medication, so I'm clueless, but this sounds so strange to me. I hope it normalizes quickly for you.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Partially congestion, partially a potential nasal infection, and partially the combination of antibiotics, steroids, and the codeine cough syrup. It's like, a combination side effect, sort of.

[yarnaddict.livejournal.com]

We have waited, and we have hoped, and we have watched, and we have been promised, and we have been failed. We have been failed. This is the meaning of duty: to do what is right when it is not easy; to do what is true even when it is hard; to do what is needed rather than what is desired; to recognize your own weakness and try to be better; to be afraid and then stand up and do it anyway. Pass the health care bill. And shove it through the teeth of opposition to get it there.

THIS! Right here, yes, amen and hallelujah!

When my son (a Canadian resident and Citizen) was eighteen months old, he was caught under a riding lawnmower and suffered severe damage to the soft tissue on one side of his back. After the initial life-saving care, he was seen and treated by the top plastic surgeon in Ontario. My wife and my son's father paid nothing - NOTHING - out of pocket for my son's care, from the initial 9-1-1 call through all of the surgeries that followed.

When my daughter (an American resident and Citizen) was three months old, she was hospitalized because her lips were turning blue and her O2 sats were inexplicably low. Because of a glitch in timing, she was not listed as a dependent on her father's health insurance. She was kept ONE NIGHT in the pediatric ICU, and we spent SIX YEARS paying off the care bill. To top that off, the hospital DID NOT DO ALL OF THE TESTS THEY WOULD HAVE DONE if she had been insured, because they didn't think we'd be able to pay for them - never mind that one of those tests they didn't do might have uncovered a problem with her health.

Yeah, me? I'm all for universal health care. I really am.

[wonderlandkat.livejournal.com]

Yes! I have been fighting with my insurance and COBRA all summer and I'm lucky- I can afford to COBRA, I have support from my family so I can get meds and not starve and wait to be reimbursed. I can't even imagine how much it would suck if I didn't have good care to begin with and good support.

I hope your taste comes back soon- when I've had similar issues I found "spicy" cut through pretty well.

[lifesscar.livejournal.com]

I'll be completely honest. We need Universal Health Care because our health as a nation is degrading drastically because no one goes to the doctor because "we can't afford it."

I had to hear the emergency room doctor tell me my brother's arm (broke both bones in his lower arm -_-) was straight enough. Took him to a specialist to finish fixing it and found that the one bone that nearly popped out of the other side of his arm was in a twenty degree angle.

Though, it will never equal paid insurance. Ever. It will help and is needed but people like my Granddad (Scottish with his universal health care) walks out of a doctors office from getting his heart checked to have a heart attack on the sidewalk.

We need it but those of us who can't afford it (I can barely afford what they are pulling out of my check) will still be behind.

[shoequeeny.livejournal.com]

I'm a terrible lurker but this is something that has been appearing lately in the British papers due to Sarah Palin's comments regarding the NHS so I really feel like putting my tuppence in. I really just wanted to say that for all the problems with the British healthcare system (and believe me - there are many) I just truly cannot imagine not being able to afford basic healthcare.

I broke my foot recently - didn't go the hospital the evening of for fear of over-reacting but when I went the following morning I had the x-rays, the cast, the crutches and all the follow up for nothing. I pay my taxes every month and that suffices. Basically, it still shocks me that a country like the US can let so many of its citizens suffer because they cannot afford to pay for something that should be readily available to all.

[incarnated-joy.livejournal.com]

I'm over from metaquotes, I don't normally follow contexts back to the source, but I just wanted to say it here too.

As a UK citizen who is about to apply for citizenship in the US within the next few years (fell in love with an American boy, getting married), I find the situation regarding health care, and the blatant lack of education and...apparent care for fellow human beings to be truly distressing. I've seen one too many people spouting the words "but why should I pay for THEIR treatment." -As someone who has suffered long term health problems since I was born 22 years ago, I cannot express how grateful I am to the people before me who implemented the NSH in to existence within the UK and have contributed to it since, because without a doubt I would not have survived my birth- let alone the rest of my life without it. The chances of a 4 month premature baby from a working class family unable to afford private health care insurance surviving in the USA I believe would be practically non existent. Not even going to mention the health issues I have had since then, but it's safe to say that if I had survived birth, the following years after would have been a great deal harder and quite probably non existent without the NHS.

Your words have been the first thing all day on the subject to not make me angry, upset and generally saddened, thank you. Thank you.

[bluevsgrey.livejournal.com]

the blatant lack of education

This completely depends on where you live within the US.

[d_odyssey.livejournal.com]

"We have waited, and we have hoped, and we have watched, and we have been promised, and we have been failed. We have been failed. This is the meaning of duty: to do what is right when it is not easy; to do what is true even when it is hard; to do what is needed rather than what is desired; to recognize your own weakness and try to be better; to be afraid and then stand up and do it anyway. Pass the health care bill. And shove it through the teeth of opposition to get it there."

YES! Health care should be a right, not a privilege. We need it fixed and we need it fixed NOW!

Hope you feel better soon!

[puckling.livejournal.com]

We have waited, and we have hoped, and we have watched, and we have been promised, and we have been failed. We have been failed. This is the meaning of duty: to do what is right when it is not easy; to do what is true even when it is hard; to do what is needed rather than what is desired; to recognize your own weakness and try to be better; to be afraid and then stand up and do it anyway. Pass the health care bill. And shove it through the teeth of opposition to get it there.

Yes.

[marthawells.livejournal.com]

Glad you're getting over the bronchitis and hope you feel much better soon!

As someone who has a good chance of being without health care insurance by next year, I really hope this bill gets passed.

[gwendolynflight.livejournal.com]

You should send that last bit to your senator - it's very powerful, and it might not convince him or her, but it's worth trying, right?

[calligrafiti.livejournal.com]

We have waited, and we have hoped, and we have watched, and we have been promised, and we have been failed. We have been failed. This is the meaning of duty: to do what is right when it is not easy; to do what is true even when it is hard; to do what is needed rather than what is desired; to recognize your own weakness and try to be better; to be afraid and then stand up and do it anyway. Pass the health care bill. And shove it through the teeth of opposition to get it there.

Yes, this! I'd like to share this with people, if I may.

And I hope you feel better soon.

[tricksterquinn.livejournal.com]

*leans on* Thank you. I feel like... I should be saying so much about this, I should, I mean it's what I do, right? But then I think about what if something happens and I get sick, or god forbid what if, one way or another, my dad doesn't have his job anymore and loses his insurance... and I just can't even talk about this. Maybe when I'm insured again. Maybe. But not now.

So anyway, I'm glad you're recovering even if you're still hating life, and thank you for saying this.

And as far as the weight loss thing? Oh my god. I get so scared the moment I lose any weight at all. I'm down a size at least since the winter, and I didn't even notice it happening, and I'm... more than a little freaked by it right now. So anyway, my point is I feel ya. *hugs*

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

eeep. I'm British. we bitch something chronic about the NHS here. (overcrowded, waiting times, waiting lists, a lottery postal code on whether certain medication/treatments get done near you, you name it) but we're safe in the knowledge that we will get treated. You don't think anything of turning up to A&E for any reason, minor or major. A prescription for *any* drug costs £7, unless you fall under the 'eligible for free' (students, kids, unemployed, retired, birth control) - which is something like 80% of all drugs handed out. Sure, we may not get the most up-to-date care, or the most fancy tests. But we get the care to the best of their ability.

The NHS was started for purely selfish reasons by the government of the day. Healthier people meant people who could work better, and for longer. And that's not a good enough reason?

[nimnod.livejournal.com]

" This is the meaning of duty: to do what is right when it is not easy; to do what is true even when it is hard; to do what is needed rather than what is desired; to recognize your own weakness and try to be better; to be afraid and then stand up and do it anyway. Pass the health care bill. And shove it through the teeth of opposition to get it there."


Wow, that's amazingly powerful stuff.

[deadlychameleon.livejournal.com]

I'm picking up likee, mold and the stench of death and destruction in a post-apocalyptic world. IDEK.

I have had this happen with severe congestion. I came to the unfortunate realization I was probably smelling my own infected tissue and mucus. Awesome. And since smell affects how things taste... I think it helped a little if I drank a really lot of water to flush out the post-nasal drip.

[deadlychameleon.livejournal.com]

Oh, also, as you probably know, if you're not smoking anymore (and you'd better not be while you have active bronchitis!) you'll gradually start to taste and smell much more strongly.

[naughtyoldlady.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, if it's nasal congestion, maybe you need to try one of these... ;-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQm7YpxgOnA

Though I wouldn't recommend the final technique demonstrated!!

[clairshadows.livejournal.com]

I'm from Australia and we do have a national health scheme (I work in a pharmacy so in a way it's how I get paid). It works. It's $5.30 a prescription for those who qualify as underadvantaged. $32.90 for those who don't. It only covers medication needed for health. Viagra you'll still have to pay $80 for. You can walk into any emergency room and be seen without cost, you may have to wait 6-8 hours but you will be seen. I pay around $300 in tax every year, but if I was to get private health insurance I'd pay less. Our hospitals are run down and understaffed and there are never enough Doctor's, but I cannot imagine knowing something is wrong and 'not' being able to get help. I hope this bill gets passed for you.

AMAZING, ELOQUENT POST

[yinkawills.livejournal.com]

Im a BIG fan of your fiction!:) And now, a BIG fan of your non-fiction!
Seriously- Caribbean born, resident in the UK since I was 3 and a childhood sufferer of bronchitis. Would I even be here if my parents had migrated to the US? I have family in America. Visited them in California 5 years ago, and the casual conversations I had with strangers about healthcare in a middle class suburban area, freaked me out.

It seems to me the problem of the under insured, or those who get cover for some things excluded because of 'pre-existing conditions' or those struggling with high co-payments, or those who cant move jobs/take/leave a job because of healthcare insurance concerns, far outnumbers the 47 million unemployed.

I understand 5,6,7+ Presidents have tried to get reform.

On my LJ I have a '60 Minutes' documentary about Remote Area Medical, an organisation set up to bring free emergency medical help to developing countries 2 decades ago. 60% of its work is now in the US! When it set up a feild hospital (I think in a southern state) only a couple of weeks ago, thousands came.
Look, Im not advocating you have the 'evil socialized medicine' we have here.Which would have killed Stephen Hawking. And which the wealthy leader of the Conservative Party used extensively to care for his severely disabled son. No. Even though I'm a staunch supporter.
But as the French currently have the bes healthcare system in the world, perhaps it would be a good idea to look at theirs, the Germans, or the Swiss?