seperis | i seriously remember this scene from the stand

My nephew--has sniffles. I've seen pink cheeks. There's a definite air of Not Perfectly Healthy. I'm suspicious.

I've been overruled in casting him to the wolves to protect ourselves from the hotdog flu, so I want you all to know that I tried to protect humanity and it totally did not work.

[Note:

mneiai says: NO! What if that created some sort of super flu? It's already swine-human-bird flu, do you want it to be swine-human-bird-wolf flu??? So please remove "exposing relatives when showing signs of illness" from your Survival Checklist, please.]

By now everyone knows that Texas has the honor of having the first flu-related death in the US, which you know, we reacted to appropriately, by shutting down all UIL events (that's all school related sports and statewide academic competitions) and in Austin, we have school closures as well. We're not overreacting at all.

[Apparently, a school in Austin had a kid that may have a case or something?]

WHO Raises Panedmic Level to Going To Probably Die Soon KTHX so I went to check our trusty Death Map of Encroaching Death to see how close we are to annihilation. As you can see, this is now a Very Special Swine Death Map, as opposed to the one that shows lesser diseases like ebola and polio, which are totally Old News.

I'd like to thank CNN for that very special article Three Twentieth Century Pandemics so just in case anyone isn't dragging out the breathing masks and pulling guns on everyone with a runny nose, they'll get right on that shit.

To say I watch with an eye toward which places I'll be scavenging for goods when civilization collapses does not necessarily overstate the case. I'm thinking the future will need very large LCD TVs and high end laptops. I do not necessarily support future looting, but I do expect everyone to do their part and keep an eye on what will be useful in our glorious new technopunk society. Stockpiling Jolt and coffee would not, I think, be an overreaction to the problem. Also, I'd suggest grabbing a copy of The Stand for useful tips about how to travel during the end of the world. We will need to be able to perform off-the-cuff appendectomies, know how to operate a motorcycle, and be proficient in several types of firearms. And don't go to the crazy white guy in ~~California~~ Vegas, people. Mystical old black woman is the way to go. She told me so last night.

Cthulhu save you all.

ETA: Corrected California to Vegas, as

tzikeh knows our survival manual, Cthulhu love her.

Of course, that first death in the US was of a Mexican citizen....

If the nephew doesn't have a fever, nothing to fear. If the nephew does have a fever, you should totally get him a kid sized face mask thing. ^.^

...and expose him to the wolves, right?

NO! What if that created some sort of super flu? It's already swine-human-bird flu, do you want it to be swine-human-bird-wolf flu???

Holy Jumping Cthulhu, you're right!

*scratches off exposure*

I'd start making human sacrifices, but I'm pretty sure this is the exact type of thing Nyarlathotep likes.

don't go to the crazy white guy in California, people.

Wasn't he in Vegas?

You are wise in the ways of our survival guide. Fixed!

I've been reading your updates on this whole affair from the beginning and I have to say it's better than fic. You are cracking my shit up on the regular. Though I do look forward to your impending Merlin fic, I pray to Cthulhu that this hotdog business keeps up just a little longer, just for your updates.

I think I get a special seat on the flaming Greyhound to Hell for that particular wish. But I made it regardless.

Ironically, the Merlin fic is about--I kid you not--a deadly fever sweeping Camelot. I started it in March. Just--cannot get over that.

Hey, maybe YOU'RE the prophet for this deadly illness! *wide eyes* Maybe we should make tracks for Texas.

I seriously opened it and started giggling uncomfortably at the course of events I have written. Just--it's killing me. There are three versions so far.

Wow, creepy.

So the obvious conclusion is that you did this to us. To what? Further your comedy routine?

I say, God bless you.

There are lesser reasons to start a pandemic. Laughter is supposedly the best medicine. They should cancel each other out!

I agree.

Microscopic Devilry + Chuckles = Zilch

It's totally scientific. I've got the notes to prove it. I just have to find them. I left them lying around somewhere. (I think they were serving as my bookmark in my paperback copy of the Necronomicon.)

I should get a gun and draw it on anyone with sniffles who tries to come within a 10 foot radius.

I do not object to this course of action.

This is like that time when the old lady died of anthrax, and everyone was trying to figure out why terrorists targeted *her*. And then we found out she walked through a suspect sheep meadow.

Well, congratulations, you just found the ONE person in the U.S. each year who naturally dies of anthrax.

Some of that may be happening here. We have to be careful. We don't know for sure why the people who died have died. Ok, they had swine flu - was there a co-morbid secondary infection we aren't noticing? Answers are thin on the ground. Right now we have managed to extract a virus - that isn't killing most people who contract it - that we haven't seen before. We think. From a scientific point of view, it's worrisome, but the CDC is right not to engage any extreme measures.

I'm suspicious. In The Stand, our Survival Manual for Survival, the government totally said everything was okay.

Well, you know, maybe it's a crazy white WOMAN from las vegas, ever think of that?

:-D

Pandemic II (http://www.crazymonkeygames.com/jkf6Tr/pandemic2.swf) is exactly the right game to prepare for the inevitable apocalypse.

Oooh. Perfect to get good projections for the future!

Well, your Death Map is out of date since so far NONE of the suspected cases in NC are actually swine flu (http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/5043959/). Does this help at all?

Whoo hoo! Less swine!

Let's not forget avoiding pyromaniacs with a nuclear-weapon obsession.

Oh Trash Can Man, you poor, sick fuck. With your creepy feelings about nukes.

*waves & de-lurks*

A map for your collection (?) of death maps of encroaching death (in case you haven't seen it yet).

It's interactive - you can click and see it spread day by day. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do :)

A different view of the Death Map of Encroaching Death (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8021547.stm)

Oooh, you're awesome! So many ways to watch doom!

*glee*

You have seen this right?

http://www.endofworld.net/

I have not! *glee* Thank you!

Am I alone in my amusement that the India post is -STILL- about Niagra falls' reaction to H1N1?

Well, Niagara.

Okay, the real horror is I just almost typed Viagra. *shudders*

Clearly, the place to be is Kazakhstan.

I've heard northern Siberia is lovely this time of year.

*snorfles*

Skynet knew about it before anyone else.

*glee*

Heh. There's a poor girl who's been sick for a while at work, though with a springtime cold and not the death flu of death as your tag so aptly calls it. Poor thing keeps being told such things as "is it possible to create a Lysol shield around your desk?" and "at least you got sick before all this happened so you know you're not going to die, right?"

My partner works at a food co-op and they are having special pandemic meetings to make sure they are prepared. The offer such wonderful advice as "the masks are really expensive so don't freak and use them until you have to," and "for your deity of choice's sake, wash you hands and don't hack near the food."

*falls over* Hacking near the food. Words to live by, man.

I realize that like, it's kinda a bad thing that there's this vicious flu of pigs or whatever - but you are seriously cracking my shit up. And I'm a tiny bit of a hypochondriac (if one can be a little bit of something like that) so thank you for not scaring the ever living CRAP out of me and instead making me laugh until my eyes teared up!

I'll be over here thinking about the price of hazmat suits and hiding under my covers if anyone's looking for me.

Flu of pigs made me think of bay of pigs and howl. *hee*

Hazmat suits--good thought. I wonder where we can scavenge them from?

Given that it is Lurkers amnesty day, I thought I would comment! You totally made my day with this entry, can I forward it on? I live in Australia and the government here are also losing the plot.

Welcome! And *falls over and dies*. Sure, do as you like with it.

So basically, one should move to Iceland, where there is no swine flu, and there always remains the outside chance that onceandfuture!Arthur would decided to re-conquer the place. Excellent! *starts packing yarn, because it's cold there damn it and we will probably need to make our own clothes in the post-apocalyptic future*

you know what's hilarious? (besides your posts - which have managed to keep me quiet because you said everything I want to say just much much better) The folks at WHO said near the end something about how it's important to remain calm.

right. after making everyone panic.

We totally renamed our pantry the Millennium Cupboard in the lead up to the Year 2000. *g*

...and I've been twitching about the no-doubt imminent power/network failure -- do you think a wind turbine on the roof would be an over-reaction? ;).

If your family won't abandon the kid, the only sensible course is to cut them all loose.

Someone on my Facebook circle ~~angsted~~ posted "Will this be the last normal day?"

I rolled my eyes so hard I gave myself a migraine.

Also *snicker* hot dog flu! FTW.

May I suggest you start training your bunny minions to hold off the incoming swine-zombie hordes:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1175432/Pictured-The-showjumping-rabbits-hop-favourites-win-pet-talent-contest.html

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If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
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BTS List
That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
AIM, 3/25/2004
Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
Twitter
I will unashamedly and unapologetically celebrate the joy and the warmth and the creativity of a community of people sharing something positive and beautiful and connective and if you don’t like it you are most welcome to very fuck off.
-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
Twitter, 6/19/2019
Adding for Mastodon.
-- Jenn, traceback
Fosstodon, 11/6/2022

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Base style: Open Spaces by seperis
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