seperis | group two: stargate:atlantis and due south

From suggestions here and continuing from group one here.

From

ratcreature - Five planets John Sheppard wishes he hadn't visited.

1. MX-666. Basically, in John's opinion, they were asking for it. Interesting note: as it turns out, exorcisms in Pegasus really are just like the movies. Teyla's never getting the pea stains out of her skirt, though.

2. In Rodney's defense, when one calls one's planet "Haven of Delight", your first instinct isn't to pack up the nipple clamps and flogger for your trade mission. However, they did get some amazing leather out of it. And the piercings will heal. Eventually.

3. So who would have really anticipated Planet of the Apes was based on a true story? Yeah, no one.

4. To be fair, there was no way to know that a penis qualified as a lethal weapon in some places.

5. So the thing is, when you're reading Ancient, you have to really double check your spelling. The name wasn't so much Eranid as Arachnid, but Keller thinks that given time, the catatonia should wear off on its own. Rodney can easily do his work from the infirmary; he wants to be there when John wakes up.

From

seekergeek - Five Times John Wishes He Was a Girl

1. Skirts.

(Women will never really understand the constant threat of the zipper. Why they continue to manufacture pants with them, John has no idea, but he's pretty sure women are involved. And cackling about it.)

2. Ladies' Night

(God, the money he would have saved in his twenties.)

3. Slumber Parties.

(Does this even need an explanation? Think not.)

4. PX-994

(Amazonian lesbian planet. John still wakes up hating the universe for that shit.)

5.) Rodney

(As it turns out, Rodney wanted kids after all. Rodney said he'd always love him. He married her anyway.)

From

writinginct - 5 Times Ray K ate something that Fraser wouldn't

1. Fraser's initial reaction to cheese whiz shouldn't have precipitated a diplomatic incident with Australia, but really, Ray should have seen that coming.

(While Ray is all about being his own person, the three month embargo on blowjobs turned out to be a really big motivator toward a healthier diet. Withdrawal hadn't been pretty.)

2. Ray knows that protest is an effective way to enact social change, but who the hell stops eating chocolate to show solidarity for the plight of candy factory workers?

(And sugar. And gum. And everything that basically makes life worth living. If there is a hell, it involves Fraser's caribou pudding and broccoli meringue pie. Thank God for unions, that's all Ray has to say about it.)

3. Fraser keeps taking away Ray's gum.

(It goes something like this: five years old, bad dream, forgot to take out his gum. Apparently, Fraser did not like the buzz cut. If by do not like, you mean traumatized for life.)

4. Peanut butter and jelly.

(Ray's never seen anyone turn that color before, or get that sick. In hindsight, probably shouldn't have laughed hysterically because of....)

5. Anything salty.

(As God as Ray's witness, he will never laugh at Fraser's food misfortunes again. Withdrawal? Even less pleasant.)

To be fair, there was no way to know that a penis qualified as a lethal weapon in some places.

Ahahahahahaha! Oh, JOHN.

Very dangerous. *nods*

(As it turns out, Rodney wanted kids after all. Rodney said he'd always love him. He married her anyway.)

Oh, ouch.

It was kind of impossible not to add.

It was mean and very sad. And AWESOME.

I knew you'd like it.

And awesome. OUCH.

*grins* Thank you!

(As it turns out, Rodney wanted kids after all. Rodney said he'd always love him. He married her anyway.)

*sniff* Break my heart, why don't ya. :(

John moves on! Eventually. Hopefully.

In my head, Rodney marries Keller and then he finds out that all that radiation really did make him infertile. She might or might not leave him for a younger man at that point, I haven't decided yet.

Meanwhile, back on Atlantis, John finds love with Ronon, with whom he stumbles across the mythical Ancient baby-machine. Surprise!baby! Their kid is beautiful, bright and has an ancient gene that puts John's to shame.

~The End~

I love how you think.

(As it turns out, Rodney wanted kids after all. Rodney said he'd always love him. He married her anyway.)

*whimpers*

I know! It was just--there!

I was giggling through mine until the last one. Ow.

*nods sadly*

You hurty-mcheartbreaker, you! OUCH!

broccoli meringue pie

*eyes you* You made that up, right? There's not such thing really, is there? Though someone did link to a recipe for Beets with Pesto a while back, so anything is possible.

I live in fear now that since I've said it, it will be invented.

God, number 5 broke me. I was that so much in a longer form. Oh, wait. I have season 5 to watch, don't I?

I kind of want to write it, but I'd write myself into a virulent hatred of Rodney and God knows where that would go.

I know it would be a bad thing for you personally, and could start a fandom implosion--but still, fear and loathing in pegasus would keep me entertained.

...the implosion is tempting. *mulls*

5.) Rodney
(As it turns out, Rodney wanted kids after all. Rodney said he'd always love him. He married her anyway.)

I was having a grand time until you hit me with that one. :(
Ouch.

*sniffles* It was just there. I couldn't skip it!

(As it turns out, Rodney wanted kids after all. Rodney said he'd always love him. He married her anyway.)
:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

*sniffles too*

5.) Rodney

(As it turns out, Rodney wanted kids after all. Rodney said he'd always love him. He married her anyway.)

oh owie... where does the line form to give John a hug? And I would SO like to see this one as its own fic.

If I wrote it, I'd give Rodney prostate cancer or something. I'd write myself into revenge!

or twist it so SHE dies (maybe in childbirth) and either leaves Rodney with a baby to raise on his own or he loses both her and the baby. Either way could find him making his way back to John. The angst potential is off the scale ^_^ Especially if John won't take him back.

::stopping now:: lol...

oh Oh OH one more twisted option would be that he marries her and come to find out she can't have children.

::really stopping now::

lmao - this would almost make for a great Choose Your Own Adventure- The Rodney McKay Angst Edition

*dies* It would be. So cruel and so tempting.

one more twisted option would be that he marries her and come to find out she can't have children.
Yes! That would serve the bastard right, because really, there are options if he wants kids, but bastard!Rodney just can't give up trying to be normal. (Which is sad, because he's always so focused on his genius, but he's such a "grass is greener" mentality, that he never sees he gave up his one true love.)
It would be perfect if John then hooked up with Lorne or something, who had a sister who carried their beautiful kid, so Rodney could be sad forever.

(Not that I'm vindictive or anything.)

It would be perfect if John then hooked up with Lorne or something, who had a sister who carried their beautiful kid, so Rodney could be sad forever.

I almost wish I hadn't read that. Because Lorne *does* have a sister, and she has a couple of kids already, so having one for her (baby?) brother might not be such a big deal. Not that I need *more* plot bunnies.

(As it turns out, Rodney wanted kids after all. Rodney said he'd always love him. He married her anyway.)

HA ha ha, my brain translates this sentence into Rodney becoming a girl and marrying John... yay? Somehow I think I might have that wrong. =/

-Diana

I love how you think.

As it turns out, Rodney wanted kids after all. Rodney said he'd always love him. He married her anyway.

That's heart-breaking :(

I try to pretend it was a bad, bad dream.

3. So who would have really anticipated Planet of the Apes was based on a true story? Yeah, no one.

I LOVE the phrasing of this!

Thank you!

That first set of SGA drabbles was awesome (I'd be right along with John in the infirmary with that kind of mistake), but the 5th one of the second set made me so sad. Stupid Rodney! I'm sure there's an ancient machine around somewhere! Come on, the city *loves* John-- I'm sure if asked really nicely it might even spontaneously produce something to keep him happy.

*grumble grumble (stupid Keller...) grumble*

Thanks for sharing!

More thoughts...

Maybe John finds the ancient machine and ends up with kids while Rodney ends up with none... angst ahoy!

*dies laughing* Yes.

If there is a hell, it involves Fraser's caribou pudding and broccoli meringue pie.

BWAHAHAHAA!

*glee*

Number five of John's hurt.

...it's all a dream?

The thing that really got me about number 5 of the second set is that, really, it seems like such a Rodney thing to do. Horrifying, and yet plausible *boggles*

I totally winced while writing it.

Ohhh... the ones about John are so good!

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That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
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LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
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LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
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silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
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You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
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