portrait of a fanfic writer in the urban wilderness, with rum

Fic writing hangover -- kind of like real hangover, but without the alcohol headache and instead with a sleep-dep headache and a vague sense of personal shame. Actually, I think it's more like a drunken one night stand? Sure, oh my God it was good, but then you start to remember what you did and how you did it and wait, what the hell was that? Except this time, you have to read it, so it's more like, oh my God, they don't have that many joints! And what lube is that? And you realize that it's not a defense to say "It was a good idea at the time". At least, not a good one.

Yeah, like that.

Has anything happened in the last two days I should know about? I was dragged to Academy today (apparently, I agreed to let Child go camping? With fish or something?) to get Child fishing gear, and it's hard to explain the entire sequence of events, but Child discovered all the male mannequins have nipples. Hey, I discovered all the male mannequins have nipples, and one of them had muscle definition rather resembling the face of ET if you squint. I took a picture and then tried not to cry. Then Child found a mannequin and came running back yelling "The bulge, it's hideous!" and we all went to look, because yes, we are that stupid and there is not enough alcohol in the world to erase these memories.

The mannequin had a bulge. I just don't know what to do with my life at this point.

(The nipples looked like tiny eyes underneath skin-tight jerseys and followed you around while you tried to escape. I am not kidding. My mom was there and there's suddenly less vanilla rum in the house. Send help. By help, I mean, rum. Obviously.)

ETA: Okay, I know you are all going were you drinking before you went and well, I wish I had been, but no. Below cut. You can see the face of ET in this thing's abs! Tell me you do not see it.

Yes, that is what is looking directly at the dressing room.

They Are Among Us Yes, that is a mannequin chest. And possibly, ET.

Comments

[ratcreature]

I think I remember watching some clip on youtube once how you couldn't even buy dildos (as dildos) in Texas (I think it was Texas, some US state with weird laws about sex toys anyway) and yet you have mannequins with visible genitalia? I'd have expected them to be kendoll-like!

[seperis.livejournal.com]

It was freaky. I mean, it was like they were very chilly mannequins and there were three and me and Child were trying to get away from them and then, boom, another one!

Texas got rid of the sex toy law a few years ago. And now we have nippled mannequins. Dear God.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Added picture to post. YOU SEE THE ALIEN FACE AND ATTACKING NIPPLES?

[ratcreature]

Aaah. Thanks for the nightmares! It's just before my sleep time here! That doesn't even have human proportions? And why does it hold the arms so strangely? *shudder*

Does it also lack a head? I somehow find headless mannequins inherently creepier.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I don't think I even looked for the head. The abs kept staring at me.

*shudders*

[ratcreature]

The only justification for this kind of mannequin design I can think of is if it was intented to sell nipple clamps or rings or other kinky stuff that you would need to fasten to something to display them...

[ratcreature]

Also, I totally agree on the alien face. Though it's worse than ET. I mean I still have the ET stuffed toy I got for one of my birthdays as a kid and it looks down at me from an upper shelf, and its look is nowhere near as creepy. ET looks cute and cuddly.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Maybe the aliens from Independence Day?

[ratcreature]

I don't really recall those Independence Day aliens. I admit that the abs and ET's snout kind of have the vague triangular shape in common, so I can see where you are coming from, but ET's eyes are larger and thus cute, whereas this mostrosity gives the impression of small, beady, menacing eyes, which makes all the difference.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

And the eyes watch you.

[shinetheway.livejournal.com]

Fic writing hangover -- kind of like real hangover, but without the alcohol headache and instead with a sleep-dep headache and a vague sense of personal shame.

[giggles crazily] This is the best description ever. And also, no shame! Be not ashamed! :-D

[seperis.livejournal.com]

THERE IS SO MUCH SHAME. But you know, I have a short attention span, so it should pass at any moment.

[shinetheway.livejournal.com]

LOL

[distracts you with shiny]

Look! Shiny!

Merlin can feel it all the time. It's heavy, and solid, and it clunks against the knobs of his wrist whenever he moves his arms. It's annoying, sometimes, and comforting, sometimes. Sometimes, both at the same time. He isn't sure that this isn't the point.

People notice it immediately. Merlin watches them start to speak to him, hesitate, drop their gaze to his wrist. Sometimes the lower servants blush and stammer, like they're talking to Arthur himself. Usually, Merlin keeps it under his sleeve, but once he used it to break past the guards to reach Arthur in a council meeting, to tell him that Dinadan had been injured during practice.

Arthur hadn't met his eyes when he put it on his wrist, the silver glinting in the dim dawn light. Merlin had started to protest, but Arthur stopped him before the words came, biting his lower lip before kissing him slowly, thoroughly. Merlin had raised his hand, feeling the extra weight, and cupped Arthur's jaw as he returned the kiss, licking lazily at Arthur's mouth, heat like a patient burn in his belly.

He knows that Arthur didn't originally get it for him. The box was old, dusty when Arthur brought it out. It's a man's bracelet, the broad band subtly textured, no ornate engraving or decorative frills. He doesn't know who it was for.

He only knows that it's his now.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*curls up and purrs*

[shinetheway.livejournal.com]

Arthur woke before dawn, and listened for a while to the rain falling on the roof. A small breeze came in through the window, and it stirred the curtains slightly, making the shadows shift and fall across the bed.

Merlin was face down beside him, the sheets pushed to his waist, his legs casually apart. Arthur trailed his knuckles down his back lightly, over the bumps of his spine, and Merlin stirred and made a soft sound.

"Merlin," Arthur said, and stroked him again, more firmly, fingers slipping under the sheet and then back up. Merlin shivered, and stretched under his hand, like a cat.

"Don't move," Arthur said, roughly, and Merlin obeyed, lay quiet and still as Arthur ran his palms down Merlin's sides, loving the way the soft warm skin goosepimpled as he dragged the sheet down. He shifted up, straddled Merlin's hips and ran his nails down Merlin's spine, and Merlin was breathing harshly, trembling, as Arthur pushed in slowly.

[green-grrl.livejournal.com]

EW, IT IS E.T.!!!!!! *bleaches brain*

If only the mannequins were wearing blue shirts. And no faux abs. Maybe a little pudge. Mmmmm ... Rodney nipples ....

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I KNOW. JUST IT LOOKS AT YOU.

[transtempts.livejournal.com]

0.o

Yeah, THANKS FOR THAT.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*nod* I need to share this.

[transtempts.livejournal.com]

WHY?!

[tricksterquinn.livejournal.com]

UHM. DO NOT WANT. RATHER VEHEMENTLY DO NOT WANT.

Also, send fic. For me to giggle. ;)

And since I've been watching s1 New Who, I am now picturing the freaky mannequins going after you and Child.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

...oh man, now I have nightmares.

Emailing fic now.

[tricksterquinn.livejournal.com]

Sorry. At least that way it means the Doctor will show up to Save The Day?

:D!

DEAR GOD

[quickthorne.livejournal.com]

It sort of looks like the alien is going to do an Alien and rip out of the mannequin's chest. Like it's peering out at you and just biding its time.


... I've now totally freaked myself out, thanks.

Re: DEAR GOD

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*spreads arms* Welcome to my world.

[tobemeagain.livejournal.com]

The first alien I thought of was the one from Stephen King's Dreamcatcher; yes it is definitely there, now I need to remember if I'm prepared to have an alien creeping about in my head... hmmmnh.

Sorry for the randomness, I stopped by for more of your Merlin fic and got sidetracked *g*

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

OMG, YOU'RE RIGHT!

I once had a nightmare where I gave birth to ET in my bathtub, and we took one look at one another, both screamed and he went rocking out of the room.

I still have no idea what that was about.

[brownbetty]

Auaagh! That's … really scary.

[fyrdrakken]

The most worrisome thing about that is that I can still remember the piece I found in some magazine discussing how nowadays mannequins are sculpted based on actual people -- I don't recall if molds are actually taken or it's just the live modeling, but for something so "realistic" as the above I'm thinking it was definitely based on an actual human body. Meaning the guy who's built like that is out there somewhere walking around. (He's probably a swimmer or something. One of those profoundly serious athletes -- like, Olympic-level or trying to get there -- who train every day.)