seperis | maybe you had to be here to see the expression on his face

So granted, this is going to prove my unfitness for a parent, but just go with it.

Today, Child got beat up by a girl.

So here is the story as told to me, since I was left out of the mess as my mother picked him up and found out the story.

Apparently, Child was with some friends and a girl that hates him. Yeah no clue why. Anyway, there was blah blah blah and then the girl sniped at Child, and Child said (badly quoted):

"You are going to lose DPS points for missing materials for forgetting your brain."

And this, to me, is the most hilarious joke in the history of the world. DPS points are what you get for forgetting stuff or doing something wrong at school and I--feel so bad, yet I really love that joke.

So yes, after five minutes of laughing myself sick, then I found out that apparently, this enraged the girl past reason, so she climbed on a chair and kicked him in the chest (just below and to the right of the breast bone). It knocked the air out of him and his friends took him to the nurse, where the nurse reported it, because God knows Child can't bother himself to do anything like that and I probably wouldn't have found out otherwise until he was like, thirty or something). By the time my mother arrived to pick him up at the end of the day (this seems to have happened really near the end of the day), there were three student statements and a plan of action. They were efficient.

(I swear I checked to see if there was bruising. He's fine, but sulky.)

Anyway, for the joke he got lunch detention (which is fair) and the girl is suspended for two days. I hugged him and told him I loved him, then promised to record this here and the joke so he can use it again, since it's been proved effective, and I've done my duty.

(Actually, he wants to make sure

celli and

taraljc and

svmadelyn and

talitha78 know so they can coo at him or something.)

...this shouldn't be as funny as it is, but every time I calm down, Child sets me off again.

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BTS List
That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
AIM, 3/25/2004
Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
Twitter
I will unashamedly and unapologetically celebrate the joy and the warmth and the creativity of a community of people sharing something positive and beautiful and connective and if you don’t like it you are most welcome to very fuck off.
-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
Twitter, 6/19/2019
Adding for Mastodon.
-- Jenn, traceback
Fosstodon, 11/6/2022

maybe you had to be here to see the expression on his face

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