dune as interpreted by david lynch

Having watched the first forty minutes of Dune, as interpreted by David Lynch, I apparently forgot--and by that I mean, I obviously bleached my own brain--that first time we meet the Baron and Feyd-Rautha and Rabbon.

That was just...what the fuck did I just watch?



There is nothing about that scene that is not overdramatic and ridiculous in primary colors and oranges and it should not work--and it still utterly freaks me out.

Here we have two strangely (mutilated?) slaves, both of whom I think by the look are deaf and IDEK what is up the woman's eyes and I don't want to look again. Teh Baron is beign worked over by his doctors when Pityr of the Eyebrows comes in, delivers the Atreides DIAF message, and then the Rock Music Entrance of Feyd-Rautha of the Hotness and Rabban of the Cannot Be More Gross while Pityr explains the plan in short, easily understood words which, I'll be honest, even if it's for the audience, Rabban's faint look of incomprehension kind of makes it more workable than it should be.

Then Rabban kills something to drink it's blood. Lovely.

The doctor whispers sweet nothings about how beautiful the Barons' diseases are--my God what the hell is this--and the Baron's smiling all aww, of course--Christ, shoot me now--and in the midst of all this ridiculousness the Baron's expression just changes as a slave in what appears to be plastic wrap comes in to arrange bright purple tulips and hope hsi death is fast.

Then there is floating and cackling and syrup and wait. Let me repeat.

The baron floating around cackling is ridiculous; the doctor murmuring sweet nothings about the Baron's diseases being beautiful is ridiculous; the--completely inexplicable rain of purple syrup from the ceiling for no particular reason over the Baron while he cackles--what the fuck was that?--is ridiculous.

The Baron's sudden, sharp focus when the slave comes in, the way he loses his train of thought, is the first time I got uneasy--it didn't fit. Then the crazy-float and teh pronouncements of dire evil to his enemies and the purple syrup thing and I forgot completely about the slave arranging the purple tulips. Then the Baron, who in fact did not forget, achieves landing and heads for the slave, pulls the plug in the guys' chest that apparently goes straight to an artery and rapes him (barely off-screen, barely) over the purple tulips as he bleeds out while everyone watches in various stages of Do Not Care, I Am Deaf and Maybe Blind (Literally), Tolerant Amusement, Slight Jealousy (YOU SICK FUCK), Barely Notice, Sheer Enjoyment, and Really Fucking Turned On (FEYD WTF THAT LOOK), because this is normal. And it's all done to some seriously beyond words unsettling Rock Opera By Way of Pipe Organs.

And Feyd's grin afterward not helping.



For sheer visuals, this movie is gorgeous. The space ships, the court, the vastness of space, the utterly uncanny-divide Guild Navigators, the fact of a militarized empire where even a Duke and his son wear military uniforms that aren't as ceremonial as they are functional in a universe where everyone is a soldier.

You know, I forgot that the movie's ridiculousness is only something I really feel when I'm not watching; when I'm watching, it's amazing.

Okay, Yueh just betrayed House Atreides. Fucker. REMEMBER THE TOOTH.

...and watching someone pull out someone's tooth continues to freak me out too.

Oh, explosions. Excuse me. They are blowing up shit and this I do not miss.