a plotluck of avoidance

Motivation

There should be some kind of scale for lack of motivation. Something colored, maybe, and in graphical form because I like graphs. From "ANSWERING MEANING OF LIFE WHILE CURING CANCER" down to "lies in own excrement with a vague look of dissatisfaction" which actually sounds gross but is illustrative of my current predicament one completed fic that only needs editing, one fic missing maybe four scenes, and one--God, I don't even know what it is, but I could use it to illustrate "OOC - When Bad Ideas Still Seem Bad But transtempts Makes a Persuasie Argument on the Merits of Fraser/Kowalski/Victoria".

There is a very real part of me that takes a kind of shy pride in the fact I'm convinced the closest that thing has to even semi-in-character is the fact the characters have to sleep. I mean, I never realized it before, but canon can be very limiting.

Going back to the topic--unmotivated. Epically unmotivated. The kind of unmotivated that starts and begins with not even feeling like clicking the shortcut to Word. It's like, too much of a commitment for me to make, y'see. And then I did, but somehow ended up on rivkat's website re-reading all her Buffy/Spike, which I try to do no more than yearly because I can already quote all four of those stories.

So. Someone out there should start a meme.

No, I don't mean start a meme you saw on your flist. I mean, make up a new one--discover strange new worlds of memes, where no ljer has gone before. Or steal one from somewhere that is old enough that no one remembers it and claim credit. Or not.

(unless it is popular, then claim credit)

Child

Things I have learned this week: reading parenting communities both strengths my conviction that I am paying for health insurance specifically to cover Child's therapy bills in a few years and weakens my understanding of how humanity survived this long.

There was this--I don't even know, entry about a parent calling a child a name and I totally bet you can guess the reaction to that. It reminds me of the various ways I deal with Child's self-esteem.

(I am so not editing tonight, can you tell?)

Most recently, he came home from school to tell me people think he is ugly. I told him this was true, but luckily his hideousness was offset by the fact that eventually, I'd pay someone to marry him. He's holding out for taraljc, so I probably need to start bargaining soon.

And finally, I had the joy of being able to stare at him blankly when he thought Eddie Izzard was a transvestite, which means, semiquote from him "he got some parts taken off".

That took me a second, mostly because Child's not what anyone would call behindhand in using the correct terminology when discussing anatomy, as many a traumatized grocery store can attest.

I explained correct term, wrong definition. I'm just curious where he got the wrong one. Though with the first five letter similarity, it might have been a reading error.

Child's School

Also, for those who find this neat.

Child was moved into Pre-AP math and science--that's the bragging part, and let me just get that out of the way, because seriously, awesomeness.

Now.

The school now requires a class on Character in which he receives a grade. That's always been a facet of his grades in every class, with a pretty extensive list of behavior that's graded. This, however, is new and intriguing.

This week they are covering, I kid you not, Being a Majority (not the actual name, but that's the gist), and Child came in to ask for help with ten sentences explaining what kinds of majority groups he was a part of. I was pretty impressed by what he had down so far, though the directions weren't clear on if they mean universally, the United States, or in his school (which are pretty much three separate answers), so we split the difference and added what he was referring to in each case. The two I remember now are religion (Christianity), and race (Caucasion) that he had already written down for US, with a few more that are specific and labeled to his school and some less charged ones (he's a natural left hand but was shifted to right in K, and trust me, it shows).

I'm curious about some of the weeks ahead, not to mention where they will be going with this. The themes per week are pretty fascinating. I need to find the list again and read them.

Comments

[transtempts.livejournal.com]

*smirks*

*evilly*

Well, and you see, when Victoria and Ray are trying to crazy one-up each other, to get Fraser's attention, he mostly ignores, them, except when he gets annoyed and says 'all right, then,' and kisses them. Thoroughly. And they are sort of dazed and he says 'might we continue with the job?'

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Admit it, you just enjoyed watching me twitch and hate myself silently.

[transtempts.livejournal.com]

Oh, but I think it's going to continue, because, after all, Ray made a decision, and now that he is really a part of the trio, he is going to start making suggestion,s or participating more wholeheartedly - when he wants something he shows it.

*grins*

[ladyholder.livejournal.com]

Just so you know? I think Child is going to turn out to be an absolutely splendid young man with a very low ability to blush. At least at the typical topics. So I think you are doing a great job.

That's all I wanted to say in response to this.

Thanks.

~L

[out-there.livejournal.com]

This week they are covering, I kid you not, Being a Majority

Dude, that is incredibly awesome. So often when I despair of things I hear being taught in schools -- or not taught, as per the current shift towards "let them sound it all out" spelling instead of good old spelling lists and memorising how your damn language works (yes, this riles me up for no good reason other than getting the spelling list at about 70% was always a thrill for me and I stand by the idea that the shift in reading approaches is why my brother is still a terrible speller to this day -- but that is very, very thoughtful and extremely cool to teach an awareness of these things to kids.

[nimnod.livejournal.com]

He "was shifted" to right meaning they *changed* him to be right-handed? Do they even still do that? My left-handed aunt was forced to use her right hand at school, but that was in a Catholic school during WW2... I must be misunderstanding you somehow I suspect.

[mad-jaks.livejournal.com]

If you are then I am too... *is baffled*

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Kind of, yes. It's complicated. Before school, he was evenly ambidextrous but with a general preference for his left hand. When he started school, however, he was taught to use his right hand to write. I assumed I'd been wrong about his hand since he never tried to switch over when he was practicing, but it still weirded me out that everything else, including his coloring, had a tendency to have a left preference. When he started t-ball, he had a lot of problems until his coach figured it out and asked me if he was a leftie. Suddenly, he improved tremendously.

It was odd. I'm not sure it was a conscious shift on the teacher's part so much as Child just going with what other people were doing, and by the time his coach confirmed it, it was too late to make him switch. Up until around second grade, he still switched hands regularly to color when hand got tired, and he still tends to use his left more actively than his right, with the exception of writing.

His handwriting, though, is terrible.

[mad-jaks.livejournal.com]

Okay that's not so bad then... (what's t-ball??) Sport's an odd thing I am so used to seeing him do judo left handed now that everyone else looks wrong to me.

My eldest son broke his right wrist when he was about nine which was when we discovered he could write *more* neatly with his left hand... He's definitely not left handed though.

[lurkmuch.livejournal.com]

T-ball is the version of baseball played by wee small kids. Before they've got the ability to pitch, they literally hit the ball off a stand, like so (http://www.teeballusa.org/Tball.asp).

It's as cute a box of puppies. With roughly the same attention span and fielding ability.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Child built sand castles in left field. There's a metaphor in that, I'm sure of it.

[mad-jaks.livejournal.com]

*sniggers* it looks it...

[nimnod.livejournal.com]

His handwriting, though, is terrible.
A future as a successful doctor awaits him ;)

[ceares.livejournal.com]

Wow! That school sounds kind of awesome.

[mad-jaks.livejournal.com]

(he's a natural left hand but was shifted to right in K, and trust me, it shows)
I'm sorry WHAT!!??!! That's kind of out of the Ark isn't it?

My son is total leftie to the extent that he even does judo left handed (which lots of left handed judoka don't...)
He also was the only child on the first day of the new term to stick his hand up and say he didn't believe in God at his (Catholic) senior school during a religion lesson. I admit it, I was proud...

[seperis.livejournal.com]

On leftie, see above. It was very weird, to be honest.

Also, heh. Child's t-ball always made me giggle to watch when he played.

[loriel-eris.livejournal.com]

You know, every time I read your posts about Child I am a) vaguely heartened and no longer fear for humanity and b) think that having kids myself might not be so awful. The latter being amazing for anyone to manage - I run a Guide unit (Girl Scouts aged 10-14) and every I think about the vague concept of having kids, I immediately go "OMG NO - they might turn out like my Guides, or worse, the kids that my mum has to teach/are in schools now." So yeah, your posts about Child give me hope. *g*

[transtempts.livejournal.com]

As a leftie, I do some things, writing, drawing left handed, and others with my right. My sibling, the only other leftie in the family writes with her left, but plays tennis with her right hand. Go figure.

[seekergeek.livejournal.com]

His kindergarten teacher forced him to use his non-dominant hand? I thought we were finally OVER that bit of stupidity. I just don't understand why people STILL feel the need to handicap someone by forcing them to use their non-dominant hand. That's just stupid.

As you can guess, I'm an adamant leftie. Basically my right hand is there merely to keep me from looking lopsided. My family tried to force me to become a rightie when I was a toddler. They finally gave in to my left handedness when they came to the realization that I was willing to STARVE MYSELF TO DEATH before using my right hand. But I firmly believe that their persistence in trying is what gave me left-right confusion when it comes to following directions. If they'd just left me the hell alone I don't think I would have ever developed that problem.

I wish I could find the website where I found this cartoon that I have on my harddrive. It's of a young man and an old man in Middle Ages clothing having an argument:
old man: You're choice of lifestyle is an abomination.
young man: But I've been this way since I was a child.
old man: The scriptures say it is of the Devil!
young man: But who am I hurting by being this way?
old man: It's EVIL! You must renounce this behavior!
young man: What if it's natural?
old man: There's NO proof of that!
The title at the Bottom: "Being Left Handed in the Middle Ages"

[seekergeek.livejournal.com]

Gah. Now I see that he was pretty ambidextrous. Ignore my ranting.

[tieleen.livejournal.com]

Just out of curiousity, what does 'shifted to right' mean? Was he trained to use his right hand as dominant? (And if so, since I didn't know that's something that's done these days, why?)

[emgeetrek.livejournal.com]

Re: handedness--

My mother told me that as a baby, I would scream and struggle until I had twisted myself around so as to reach a toy with my left hand. That was pretty conclusive evidence for her of my left-handedness, and she never tried to change me. However, when I got old enough to use a pair of scissors, she had trouble finding left-handed ones, and by the time she had, I'd already learned on my own to use the regular ones (with my right hand).

School never messed around with me (unlike my dad, back in the 1920s, who was changed into a rightie). Somehow, though, I developed a lot of right-handed skills all on my own. I naturally bat right-handed (although I'm kinda ambidextrous when it comes to throwing), and in the kitchen I cut and chop with my right hand. (It's too bad, though, that I use a ladle with my left hand, 'cause I've sure spilled a lot of punch trying to get it into a teeny-weeny punch cup with a big, right-handed ladle.) Also, I'm more comfortable kicking a ball with my right foot. So I guess, all in all, I'm pretty mixed up--which explains a lot. ;-)

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Hee! That makes you *adaptable*!

[thepouncer.livejournal.com]

My mom thought I'd be left-handed, but I switched myself when I was maybe two? I still don't have a strong sense of handedness, though. I write with my right hand, but do lots of things with my left, in a way that I'm led to believe is odd. And I've *never* been good with telling left and right apart. I'm fantastic with directions and maps and navigating, but more often than not will mix left and right up, unless I point in the correct direction.

Actual conversation when a friend was driving:

Me: Turn left up here.

Car continues in lane.

Me: Left! Left!

Him: This IS left!

Me: The OTHER left! That way! *pointing*

If Child approaches ambidextrousness, he'll be more vulnerable to PTSD in case of exposure to trauma (a study of thousands of Vietnam vets found a correlation to an astonishing degree of certitude), something about the way the brain hemispheres interact (they think).

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I can't tell right from left unless I'm actively using the hand, more specifically for writing. I remember in kindergarten being mystified when they'd ask me, because I had no idea--not until they handed me a pencil. Much easier after that.

[lurkmuch.livejournal.com]

Fraser/Victoria/Kowalski...I did not even know that was a thing I wanted. It seems impossible. And yet.

The school your son goes to sounds amazing.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

It's just pure dirty wrongness with weapons. Many empty, empty, deliciously empty calories. *g*

[lurkmuch.livejournal.com]

So it's Crime Against Humanity Goes to Canada, then? Win.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*g* Not even that much characterization.

[lurkmuch.livejournal.com]

*bounces*

Even better!

[omglawdork.livejournal.com]

Tell me Child is in AISD! His school sounds fantastic, and should we ever get around to having the bebehs, that will be their district.

(why yes, I do obsessively over plan the future! why do you ask?)

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Technically it's a charter school, so I think it's not counted as part of the AISD district.

*hugs his school*

[ahab99.livejournal.com]

Wow! "Being a Majority"! I often despair of having conversations about privilege with people IRL because they just do not even have the vocabulary to get at the concepts, and I don't have the patience/time to run "Privilege 101" every time. The fact that they're starting in on it with elementary school kids? Is fantastic. I mean, I'm sure Child would totally have gotten the concepts anyway, but having it normalized as a part of any curriculum is just miles ahead of what I had in school before college. So: yay!

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*thoughtful* I'm not sure it would have really sunk in as it should--ie, being white and male. Girls outnumber the boys in the school and in his class, and non-white outnumber white by a significant majority. Women outnumber men in his family. By a very large margin. On one hand, this is awesome that from early childhood his exposure is varied. On the other, it's going to be a challenge to show him that the world outside his family and his school has a much more powerful bias that he'll benefit from and needs to be aware of.

So it's comforting that they *did* ask those questions--well, actually, to me, comforting they gave the kids the question and sent them home to think about the answers. I was impressed he had the first two--I'd hoped the race one would be noticeable, but the religion one I wasn't sure would be as obvious off the bat.

I have a lot of hopes for this class. Since all grades take it (with different emphasis every year), it should be interesting to see everything they cover.

[elaran.livejournal.com]

Being a Majority
This will sound stupid but but wait, what?! O__o I think I am curious as to what they will be learning from it?

I love your Child posts btw. :)

LOL to the self-esteem thing. I guess I had it balanced in that my dad told me that the world revolved around me and was always you are so capable and brilliant, you can do anything you want to etc etc and yet Mum is more with the being blunt about how I look/act etc. We have hilarious moments of her telling me how I look hideous and could look so much better and how I'm despicably rude etc. :P Also, this kinda stuff is character building. You can't spend the whole time telling your kid they're perfect when they're not and cushioning them from being picked on cos oh boy, they'll be screwed in the real world. Part of me firmly believes that being picked on a little when you're young is good for you. It makes you stick up for the little people I think.

And the lack of motivation thing: I am reminded of Rimmer drawing graphs to not study in Red Dwarf lol.

[elaran.livejournal.com]

This will sound stupid but but wait, what?! O__o I think I am curious as to what they will be learning from it?
er, ignore that, read the comments. :)

[wynddancer.livejournal.com]

Congrats on the Child being in AP! Boo on the students telling him he's ugly, though. That sucks. In elementary, I was supposed to be in a Narnia play as Mrs. Beaver with Mr. Beaver, who said I was ugly in front of the teacher. There was no Mr. Beaver in the play (glee looking back on it). He'll probably grow up better looking than they will--I did! :-)

I just wanted to say your Child posts for some reason give me hope for the future. I sometimes even think I wouldn't mind having a kid like yours! At least Child's school still sounds sane. Dallas ISD just passed very questionable guidelines (assignments can be turned in after deadlines with no penalties, etc.). Read more here: http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/localnews/stories/DN-DISDgrades_15met.ART.State.Edition2.4d95d34.html

[quillori.livejournal.com]

I generally hover around lurking, but I thought I might comment for once, since I'm in the same position as Child - fairly ambidextrous with an original slight preference to the left and now, after years of having to do things right-handed, possibly a slight preference for the the right. I, too, had to write right-handed at school, and my writing was, and remains, atrocious. I'm surprised you say it was too late to switch: I can recall when I was 12 my teachers seriously discussing whether I should be told to write with my left hand instead of my right. (It was a lengthy debate, and I had to do a variety of timed writing tests, and I think the school nurse was consulted for some reason, but the one thing that absolutely wasn't done was ask me which I would prefer. I don't even remember expecting my preferences to be relevant.)

It's possible Child just went along with what everyone else was doing, but I suspect the his teachers may have contributed without thinking. I can remember as a young child being repeatedly told by teachers not to use my left hand, not, I think, because they were deliberately trying to make me right-handed, but because they had this sort of default view of everyone as right-handed barring evidence to the contrary, a definition of left-handed that meant absolutely always preferring the left hand and being useless with the right, and the general approach that a child they thought of as right-handed using their left was clearly just too inexperienced or dim to realise it was the wrong hand. I doubt if you'd asked them 10 minutes later they would have remembered saying it - it was probably about on the level of telling a child no, you use the pointy end of the pencil, or no, you don't eat the eraser.

A general drift towards preferring the right hand isn't surprising - everything is so set up to favour the right only the strongly left-handed resist, and then using your right hand becomes a habit. I know I used to do all sorts of things with my left hand, like cleaning my teeth or catching balls, that I ended up doing mostly with my right. By the time I went to university, I would probably have described myself as right-handed, even though had I thought about it I might have noticed I still did an awful lot with my left hand for someone right-handed. It was only when I took up jewellery making as a hobby I focused on which hand I used and realised how much more comfortable I found it to use both - I will almost always change which hand I'm holding a tool in, rather than turn the thing I'm working on around.

I've noticed people who are reasonably strongly handed (whether left or right) heavily overestimate the difficulty of transferring skills from one hand to the other, presumably because they don't realise how much of their own difficulty would lie in using their non-dominant hand, not in swapping hands itself. I tried an experimen once. I had, of course, been brought up to use chopsticks in my right hand; never once, to the best of my knowledge, had I held them left-handed. Clearly I must have been fairly confident of the outcome, since I made the experiment with a dish of noodles, and I was right to be confident, because I had no difficulty whatsoever eating them left-handed. IIRC I found I ate perhaps marginally slower, and I had to concentrate more - with the chopsticks in my right hand I could read a book held in my left, whereas vice versa I had to look too much at what I was eating to read enjoyably - but I could eat quite readily and without visible clumsiness. It's true it's a little irritating to go from doing something effortlessly to having even a slight difficulty with it, but it really doesn't take that long to get up to speed with the other hand, and these days I tend to learn any new manual skill with both hands, which doesn't seem to take significantly longer than learning with just one. I rather wish, looking back, I'd learnt to write with both hands at school - I used to get cramps in my hands during exams, and it would've been helpful to be able to switch. I don't imagine any teacher would have supported that though; in my experience it seems to sort of irritate people if you tend to switch hands in front of them, although I don't really see why.