seperis | because i like laughing hysterically later

For my own reminders, since I like quotes, and comparisons to land wars in Asia automatically rock.

From The 100th Day in news, March 12, 2008

Wow. So in celebration of your 100th day of owning LJ, you bend your customer base over and sodomize them? I was not aware of this particular practice. Was this perhaps developed in Siberia?
-- ardath_rekha, link

Jason, you're fighting a land war in Asia here. Really, you are. Do yourself a favor and get out before you find yourself accidentally committed to bombing Cambodia ...
-- rahaeli, link

Awesome pie chart of userbase!
--toppedbyaworld

snarkbite:[...]People create new accounts at the drop of a hat at LiveJournal[....]
cmdr_zoom: And that's what they're trying to stop, duh. "Your usage habits WILL conform to our business model."
ramsesthegreate: In Soviet Russia, LJ update you?
--found by montanaharper, link

I HAVE MANY ACCOUNTS THAT ARE ABLE TO GO TO BASIC OR TO PLUS. AS I AM LEAVING LJ, I WILL BE SELLING THEM. THEY ARE $5 EACH.
IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, PLEASE EMAIL YAYBASICACCOUNTS@GMAIL.COM.
- basicaccounts, link

OH BOY
LET'S SET ANOTHER T-SHIRT ON FIRE
THAT'LL SHOW THEM
--ericmushroom, link

jasonshellen - I think personal attacks are a bit much.
vichan - Welcome to the internet.
--convo in comments, link

From Untitled in news, March 13, 2008

We're glad to have received your communication! Livejournal's users are always proactively content to synergize their expanded, qualitized communications! In the future, we'll be looking to expand our horizons re: different venues of online social networking! Stay tuned!
-- theblackmeat, link

It only hurts at first, baby, promise. Who loves ya? El Jay...that's RIGHT! Now bend over...
-- onionpeeler, link and *read the entire comment right now*

Mmm, this aura of condescension is so much more delicious than my cheap TV dinner!
-- saralogan, link

one_cup_of_tea: Does it have to patronize, annoy and lie to its userbase to grow adapt change develop?
lorataprose: That's totally a feature, you guys.
one_cup_of_tea: Can they add a feature where, when you log in, lj rapes you up the ass and steals your wallet?
lorataprose: You're in luck! I believe that one's scheduled for the next un-announced release!
-- convo in comments, link

Oh also I love how you made this post which demonstrates the bureaucratic bullshit most blogers find completely offensive
"Overnight you also raised legitimate concerns about how this change was unveiled - message received, loud and clear. We're still working out how to strike just the right tone when communicating with such a diverse and complex collection of communities."
Here is an example of what not to say to a bloger as what the bloger hears is
"Overnight you made us realize you won't hold your heads to our ass and listen for the blow with glee, we will be more careful the next time we fart"
-- hdofu, link

Wow. Is it challenging, using that many words to say absolutely nothing at all?
-- bewarethespork, link

angrychicken: I can tell you, I was absolutely befuddled and dumbfounded by the amount of choices. You should see me try to order off the dollar menu at McDonalds.
claire: Dude, I am still trying to decide what to have for lunch 3 days ago.
legomymalfoy: I get confused at stoplights. I mean, red yellow AND green? D:
-- convo in comments, link

Quotes

If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
. -- Unknown, on feedback
BTS List
That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
AIM, 3/25/2004
Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
Twitter
I will unashamedly and unapologetically celebrate the joy and the warmth and the creativity of a community of people sharing something positive and beautiful and connective and if you don’t like it you are most welcome to very fuck off.
-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
Twitter, 6/19/2019
Adding for Mastodon.
-- Jenn, traceback
Fosstodon, 11/6/2022

HE WAS HIGH THE ENTIRE TIME.

ONE DAY IF WE EVER MEET IN PERSON WE WILL DO THE ALEXANDER DRINKING GAME. AND WE WILL BE FOUDN DEAD THE NEXT MORNING. BECAUSE OH MY GOD.

edited at: Date: 2008-03-14 05:47 am (UTC)

It is a date! I will update last will and testament beforehand! *is officially insane for contemplating a second viewing*

I'm pretty sure that and the one with brad bit will be forever BURNED INTO MY RETINAS and you know-- blocked out for my sanity.

Troy?

That one, yes. I think I possibly watched them back to back and then passed out with a sharp pain behind my right eye.

Hee! Granted, Brad Pitt is a sucking black hole of suckitude, and the story 1) didn't have Odysseus find Achilles hiding in a girls school dressed in drag, 2) excised the Achilles/Patroclus romance, and 3) fucked around with who lived and died at the end.

On the other hand, Sean Bean as Odysseus! Eric Bana as Hector! Peter O'Toole! And Brian Cox! Did I mention Sean Bean?! Plus, Wolfgang Petersen is actually competent at storytelling, cinematography and editing.

Still, I imagine seeing it back to back with Alexander would have been traumatizing ...

because i like laughing hysterically later

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