seperis | because it pays to snoop

One of the neat side effects of insomnia (though to be fair, this is because I practically slept half the day, so really, this is just delayed sleep) is I tend to sit around and stalk people's ljs for things to use against them later.

Sadly,

rageprufrock does not have blackmail material on a filter I can see. Bitch. But! Going through the snapshots tag, I did find:

Rodney and the Military Themed Gay Porn Thing

John deletes it off of their computer and swears their secrecy. All six give it happily but the underlying message is that it's all pointless; the video got out more than twenty-six hours ago, and like those God damned dancing hamsters, there's a better than likely chance everybody in Atlantis' very close-knit network has seen it now—has it saved on their hard drives now.

"Those uniforms aren't right," John says dismally, crumbled into a chair in the ready-room, staring miserably at the recycle bin on Kinner's laptop.

"They never are, sir," Kinner says sympathetically.

And....

John the Slutty Supermodel Thing

“Do you even know how to read?” Rodney asked finally in frustration.

John only winked and said, “Oh, yeah. Got lots of practice, you know, being shoved face down into my photobook and getting banged over the side of a table in open calls and stuff.”

I want them both so badly I can taste it.

Quotes

If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
. -- Unknown, on feedback
BTS List
That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
AIM, 3/25/2004
Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
Twitter
I will unashamedly and unapologetically celebrate the joy and the warmth and the creativity of a community of people sharing something positive and beautiful and connective and if you don’t like it you are most welcome to very fuck off.
-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
Twitter, 6/19/2019
Adding for Mastodon.
-- Jenn, traceback
Fosstodon, 11/6/2022

Oh god, the first one. Young Rodney the Porn Star. saldkfksdjgdf.asdfbwsjg.

asI sdlkgf/

where do we send the bribes, again?
dkhfldjshg.

I WILL FIND OUT.

God. The beautiful crack.

there are no words for what young rodney does to me. I'm developping a downright fetish. I've started Five Things fic about the kind of young Rodney telesilla wrote about who's AU and a happy empowered sub in an enlightened kind of kinky environment, and I just. cannot. stop. lusting over his mouth and his big eyes and his tiny, tiny round ass (even though as asses go I like the Contemporary Ass a lot better, mmm, pillow.)

Am I sick, you think?

God, I hope this fever lasts.

I HATE BOTH OF YOU. BUT ESPECIALLY JENN.

Five times Rodney had to stay silent while getting fucked! Five plugs Rodney met up close and personal! Five blowjobs Rodney failed at giving! Five whippings Rodney got but did not deserve (much)....

FIVE PORN MOVIES RODNEY STARRED IN, AND WHAT THEY DID TO JOHN SHEPPARD, FAR, FAR AWAY (AND FIFTEEN YEARS LATER) IN ANOTHER GALAXY.

What, who, me? I am innocent. Just a tiny sweet friendly lamb.

And by that you mean, love. So much love.

::eyelids flutter:: There's not more? ::whimpers::

I'm hoping flooding her inbox with desperate feedback will do the trick. I mean, she is already broadcasting her hate--when she goes to threatening me with death? We have won.

*smugly waiting*

Um, hi there! :)

I'm just responding to your LJ message...for some reason it wouldn't let me send one BACK, so I hope you don't mind me just replying here instead!

I'd LOVE if you sent me what you have coded of the meme! That's so fabulous! You can just shoot me an email at keepaofthecheez@gmail if you'd like, or...however you want to do it.

And thanks again for offering to do this! ♥

*grins* Cool. Sent to your email. I'll work the rest of them today and tonight and email as I finish, if tha'ts okay.

LITERARY EQUIVALENT OF A COCKTEASE

uh. Her, not you, obviously.

*grins* I know.

She does this. Damn her. Damn her.

...she is totally throwing darts at a picture of me she printed specifically for her office wall right now. I can feel it.

I don't have an office, but if I did, you would be right.

She is truly amazing. Can we bribe, threaten or hold her hostage until she writes more?

because it pays to snoop

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