pondering the great scattering

You know, this thing going around LJ feels vaguely like the fannish equivalent of leaving a forwarding address.

If I vanish mysteriously, I am at seperis.newsite.com place!

OTOH, if we do have a fannish migration, I've decided that instead of seperis, there will be the rise of a new fangirl. I will call her Bob.

In this day and age, it's just too hard to change identities suddenly. People catch you. There are IP things. And well, let's face it, sometimes Certain Things kind of stand out--oh, say, saying your country of origin is Chile, you love Clex, and you keep friending herohunter, for example. Not that I'm talking about anything specific.

But this. With the Mad Scramble across a billion blogging sites (seriously, y'all? Let's get together and *vote* or something to see who we honor with our underaged porn presence), people will get lost. People will change names. Just think--you're sitting there, oh, two years after the--hmm. Need a name here. Ah. "The Great Fannish Scattering". Yes.--after The Great Fannish Scattering. We'll call it Scat for short.

...hmm. No, we won't. Go back.

The Great Fannish Scattering. It's two years later. You are sipping latte and thinking about your flying car (seriously, where are the flying cars already?) and your upcoming vacation to Mars for the new MediaWestinSpace convention. And you are talking to BetsyBoom. Your bestest friend ever. And you are hitting wayback machine, as people do. And you discover--

BETSYBOOM IS YOUR MORTAL ENEMY SUPERHARRYSLUT (not referring to actual person by name of superharryslut. Seriously. Is there a superharryslut?)!

You remember it all. She told you that your astral marriage to Harry Potter was invalid because she already married him there! She posted obviously photoshopped pictures of the honeymoon (you know photoshopped fakes, unlike yours, which were Divinely Inspired by His Heroness). Flame after flame. Picture after picture. Terrifyingly detailed narratives of intimate astral trysts. She touched his astral robe! Whore.

But she's your best friend now!

You see how this can only end in tragedy. there's a lesson in this I hope you all walk away from thinking about very seriously. The first would be, check out your polygamous astral plane husband's history first. Second--well. Hide better. And some other stuff.

For your assignment: imagine you are the person I didn't name, but the pov of this little story. What do you do when confronted with SUPERHARRYSLUT aka BetsyBoom's real identity? And no, astral plane assassinations are not acceptable. Those fuck up your karma, yo.

I worry about these things.

Comments

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

1) this made me smile the first time all day

2) your brain is a scary, scary place

3) thank god.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*grins* It is totally going to happen. And me--and by me, I mean, Bob--will totally watch and enjoy.

[ileliberte.livejournal.com]

My main reaction whenever someone mentions going away is "OMG no I just got settled don't go awayyy *cling*"

And no there is no superharryslut, of course I had to check once you mentioned it. I would have liked there to be someone like that.

Your tag just reminded me that sloths are freaking scary when all spread out. I saw a picture of one crossing the road and it looked like something from a horror movie.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Sloths are *Freaky*. Have you seen Giant Sloths? CAN EAT BEARS!!!!!

I wish there was a superharryslut. *wistful*

[gem225.livejournal.com]

You worry more than I do. I am officially worried. I did not know anyone could *do that*. I thought that was a quality reserved for me, my mother, and my sister. Oh dear.

*hugs*

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Someone has to be prepared for the fallout. *nods firmly*

[anjak-j.livejournal.com]

I agree with ladycat777 - your brain is one scary place...

I'm especially amused that you called it 'Scat' for short at first... *has been watching too much 'Bones'*

I've always been a little weirded out by the need in cyberland of people to change their identity so often...

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*smirks* Oh Scat....

[green-grrl.livejournal.com]

For your assignment: imagine you are the person I didn't name, but the pov of this little story. What do you do when confronted with SUPERHARRYSLUT aka BetsyBoom's real identity? And no, astral plane assassinations are not acceptable.

Obviously I am not crazy enough to be in the HP fandom. Because my first thought was "Pseudicide, of course." I'm so LJ.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*dies* That *is* an option....

*makes note*

[cold-poet.livejournal.com]

...

You got into the blueberry crack tonight, huh? ;)

Seriously though? I kind of wonder about that, if it finally comes to that, not everyone is going to mass migrate to the same new place, and that makes me really sad. :(

[seperis.livejournal.com]

We will PERSEVERE! Somehow. *shakes tiny fist* PERSEVERE!

[deadlychameleon.livejournal.com]

LOL. I have too many screen names already. Let's all make sure we pick a journal with IP logging just to be sure.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*makes note to change IP for Bob*

[telesilla.livejournal.com]

*snorts* I never understand how anyone can manage to maintain a sock; I'd get confused within the first week.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I am pretty sure I'd make a mess of it very fast. *sad for self*

[miss-porcupine.livejournal.com]

This is all a Matrix-like non-reality. We are all sock puppets and don't know it. Someday, if we are lucky, we will take the red pill and wake up and realize that our entire existence has been cobbled together by some bored fangirl while waiting for the next installment of her favorite WIP.

(Or was I the only sucker who finished all six books of Dune?)

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Chapterhouse?

*twitch*

God. I keep meaning one day to read all six back to back and see if it's as crazy as I remember.

[devin-chain.livejournal.com]

I'm kind of waiting for bnf consensus on where we'll all go. I don't want to stay here because lj is already guilty of censorship. I want to leave. BUT fandom remains here for now, so I stay, I twiddle my thumbs, and I watch for all my favorite fen to announce at once that we're going to __________.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

What woudl be most convenient is a form of rssing so anyone can go anywhere but still be hooked up. The flock is the only real problem with that plan.

Darn it.

[vee-fic.livejournal.com]

FWIW, I wandered away for, uhhh, I guess five years? (I wrote letters!) And when I wandered back, people remembered me. Which was really cool! I wish I didn't have such a crappy memory, or I might have remembered them!!

I am thinking that, if once you catfought, you shall catfight again, no matter how BFF you think you are. So really, Betsyboom revealing her Secret Evil Past is just short-circuiting the slow decline in your friendship, and propelling you onto F_W that much faster and less tiresomely. Like rocket fuel, in a way, and definitely win-win.

(People you hate are always more easy to recognize than people you like. It's an axiom of marketing that one bad experience is worth three good ones.)

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*thoughtful* That is true. Certain--mannerisms that haunt your nightmares....

[ratcreature]

But why would Betsyboom aka Superharryslut befriend me after her name change when she at least knew we were mortal enemies? (not that I ever really acquired mortal enemies in fandom, I'm kind of boring that way I guess) That seems kind of underhanded, and enough for a new dramatic fall out, no?

[seperis.livejournal.com]

To be fiar to SHS AKA BB, she might not know who you are either. It's really a relationship based on mutual *deceit*.

*mulls* Point.

[robotjen.livejournal.com]

I love you.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*glows*

[aftertherain.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is awesome beyond belief.

You see how this can only end in tragedy.
But why not? It will be EPIC!

[seperis.livejournal.com]

True. Imagine the F-W....

*wide eyes*

[geeklite.livejournal.com]

Well, to be fair, the only people I dislike in fandom are either a) batshit insane or b) writers of the most godawful crap (or c) both). So unless superharryslut had a personality transplant or a literacy injection, I don't feel this will be a problem for me.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Point. But....

WHAT IF SHE DID??????

*bites fingernail* Also, she married your astral husband. Lingering bitterness? I think so.

[aubergineautumn.livejournal.com]

I KNOW. If the moderators of harrydraco told the fandom what journal they were migrating to, and strongly encouraged people to migrate to that journal too, ahead of the inevitable(?) boot from lj....


yes, yes, there should be some subliminal message....say.... in the header of the site, so you would see it on every story...that says, "In case of emergency, migrate to wherever.dot.journal" ....

then others could take up the new mantra, and put it in their headers....if voluntarily asked, of course...

Of my sockpuppets:

[justalurkr.livejournal.com]

orange852 is all "fannish drama? again??

justalurkr is all peeved because That Other Sock Just For Fic hasn't written any yet and she is perfectly capable of procrastinating thanx bunches

That Other Sock Just For Fic might have snored. I'm not sure.

Seriously, though. If That Other Sock never joined anything but LJ and never posted from the same computer as the fruit and the stalker, who would know she's, uh, we?

[treetracer]

In this day and age, it's just too hard to change identities suddenly. People catch you. There are IP things. And well, let's face it, sometimes Certain Things kind of stand out--oh, say, saying your country of origin is Chile, you love Clex, and you keep friending herohunter, for example. Not that I'm talking about anything specific.

You forgot "insane." Or was that implied? ^_~

seriously, where are the flying cars already?

I gotcher flying car right here hon (complete with awesome video!): http://jalopnik.com/cars/jalopnik-loves-flying-cars/worlds-first-flying-car-enters-production-282449.php

Seriously. Is there a superharryslut? I would venture to say there are several. =D

[out-there.livejournal.com]

*GIGGLES*

It's both sweet and hilarious that this worries you. Mind you, I'm staying on LJ until they claw my UserID from my cold, dead fingers.

[akacat]

Well, obviously I would have to shun her. With a shunning that would be told of in tales for centuries.

I'd have all of my minions (if we have flying cars, I get minions) tell her that I'm shunning her, just to make sure she doesn't miss the point and think that I'm dead. Or that I've suddenly lost the ability to type, possibly because the door of my flying car was closed on my hands.

[nimnod.livejournal.com]

[nimnod.livejournal.com]

Also (having totally pwned the last attempt at a comment by messing up the html), may I say again, but much less eloquently this time: it really would be genuinely nice if someone, you know, BNF-y, didn co-ordinate the location of out alpha site, in case we land up having to evacuate at some point. There should be a comm for it, and we could have a massive fannish vote. Or, something. Hint.

*hugs fandom tight*

[akacat]

BTW, as for where everyone should migrate? InsaneJournal.com is selling permanent accounts for $30 until tomorrow. Or possibly through tomorrow, I'm a little hazy on that.

Just sayin'.

[calligrafiti.livejournal.com]

Three-way hatesex porn with Superharryslut, a character portrayed by DR (to be named later), and myself. Because if it's good enough for Clex (w/ added Chloe) it's good enough for me.

[amandajane5.livejournal.com]

Haven't you heard? Maria's figured otu that there are such things as IP randomizers, so she's not always from Chile anymore! Sometimes she's "from Spain" or "Mexico" or somewhere else that explains her limited English, but she's totally in the US OMG!!!!1!11!!! and how dare we doubt her!