Sunday, April 26th, 2009 05:37 pm
the necronomicon should not be a style guide
For those souls that do not have ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
svmadelyn friended, you may not know about, wait, let me quote:
Through the magic of the internets, we can track any kind of pandemic and watch doom crawl slowly toward us!
With you know, the Death Map of Death Disease of Death With Added Google Alerts!, which is apparently how we can indeed watch our deaths approach slowly. Like that book? About how a nuclear war happened and people on this island are watching the fallout approach, slowly? And it's like, the entire book is watching it coming and possibly people having death-affirming sex. Pearl? Stupid Depressing Fucking Book of Inevitable Misery? That title seems too long, but I'm pretty sure it's more accurate than the original.
I never read that one, but my parents had that one and Exorcist near their beds along with Outbreak, so it's not like I didn't know from an early age that in some way, there would be an apocalypse like a cafeteria choose-your-own-main-dish-of-death. It's soothing. As inevitable things are.
Here's the thing--swine flu. I'm sorry, on my death certificate will not be swine flu. Assuming we have those and aren't simply living in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome-style structures and burning our dead outside the settlement while praying to the Elder Gods for succor. That part actually worries me--right, no religion is perfect, but I've had nights I've seriously worried post-apocalypse that worship of Cthulhu could rise and have you seen their pantheon? I don't think it's a good idea to bring the Elder Gods into this. Their communions aren't symbolic. And Cthulhu has skin care problems.
This stuff keeps me up at night, people. Promise no human sacrifices to the Elder Gods. Especially not of my swine-flu-infested corpse. Though it would serve you all right if you did and got swine flu and died. So really, that's punishment enough.
....I've read a lot of HP this weekend.
svmadelyn friended, you may not know about, wait, let me quote:Through the magic of the internets, we can track any kind of pandemic and watch doom crawl slowly toward us!
With you know, the Death Map of Death Disease of Death With Added Google Alerts!, which is apparently how we can indeed watch our deaths approach slowly. Like that book? About how a nuclear war happened and people on this island are watching the fallout approach, slowly? And it's like, the entire book is watching it coming and possibly people having death-affirming sex. Pearl? Stupid Depressing Fucking Book of Inevitable Misery? That title seems too long, but I'm pretty sure it's more accurate than the original.
I never read that one, but my parents had that one and Exorcist near their beds along with Outbreak, so it's not like I didn't know from an early age that in some way, there would be an apocalypse like a cafeteria choose-your-own-main-dish-of-death. It's soothing. As inevitable things are.
Here's the thing--swine flu. I'm sorry, on my death certificate will not be swine flu. Assuming we have those and aren't simply living in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome-style structures and burning our dead outside the settlement while praying to the Elder Gods for succor. That part actually worries me--right, no religion is perfect, but I've had nights I've seriously worried post-apocalypse that worship of Cthulhu could rise and have you seen their pantheon? I don't think it's a good idea to bring the Elder Gods into this. Their communions aren't symbolic. And Cthulhu has skin care problems.
This stuff keeps me up at night, people. Promise no human sacrifices to the Elder Gods. Especially not of my swine-flu-infested corpse. Though it would serve you all right if you did and got swine flu and died. So really, that's punishment enough.
....I've read a lot of HP this weekend.
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From:The US death rate for this swine flu is 0%. The Mexican death rate MAY be .07%.
These "new" cases are from 2-4 weeks ago. It's over. Swine flu already happened. I'm pretty sure I had it. It wasn't that bad.
The CDC is conservatively encouraging people to wash their hands and if they get sick maybe they should see a doctor. So uh. That's what they always say. About everything. It's not a big deal.
The media panic is deliberately taking statements like "this has the potential to be pandemic" and ignoring the second half of the sentence that says "because any human-transmissible disease technically has the potential to be pandemic."
If you're still freaking, feel free to ask and I will soothe as best I know how. Of course I'm still convinced this is the forerunner to our death by bird flu, but I delight in that idea, so uh. I can be soothing about swine flu, at least! :D
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From:SEE A DOCTOR IF SICK
WASH YOUR HANDS
WHAT IS THIS SCAREMONGERING
WHY NOT JUST ISSUE HAZMAT SUITS IF THAT'S GOING TO BE THEIR ATTITUDE
scuse me, I need to get out my guns so I can shoot any pigs or flu viruses that head my way
THAT'S RIGHT VIRII
TAKE A HOLLOWPOINT RIGHT IN THE NUCLEIC ACID AND SEE IF YOU STILL FEEL INFECTIOUS AFTER THAT
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From:but srsly omg ilu. I laughed so hard. Can I quote you? XD
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