more on unfathomable vocabulary use

First, the good news--I have not seen prostrate substitued for prostate in *months*. It's so nice when people no longer mistake a noun for a verb.

Also happily, no wonton wantons. My need for Chinese has been curbed.

I'd like to say all is well in ficland, but I ran across Yet Another Rodney The Potato Shaped Man of Maximum Chubbiness. Okay. I just want to go on record. Someone needs to write a Jack Sprat and his wife fic for this pairing. Between anorexic/bulimic, hollow-eyed, slow starvation John Sheppard and The Largest Non-Sumo Wrestler Man in History Rodney, my fandom frankly *deserves* it.

Hmm. There has been anorexic John but no Weight Watchers Rodney on a calorie counting diet and crying into his low fat soy ice cream substitute. This is a great injustice.

So let's go to Verbs Maybe I Shouldn't Use For This Sex Scene.

1.) Plowed.

Maybe it's just me. I'm totally insane like this. I grew up rural. We did not see plows in the context of sexual gratification. We saw plows in the context of dirt. With you know. Farming things. Okay, I'm rural, but I never worked a farm in my life. But still. I just--want you to consider, when you are writing about the tender lovemaking of Joe and Jay, and how their passion is so pure, and their love so wonderful, going to a place where someone is plowing someone else? Maybe not what you wanted to get across? Just--okay, I'm disturbing myself with visions of a backhoe and kind of want to lie down now.

2.) Pummelled.

As in pummelled the prostate. Did I spell that right? Seriously. Pummelled? Look, sometimes we may get tired of using those old, normal verbs, but they're old and normal for a *reason*. They do not remind people of school yard fighting. Okay, I've got to stop with the comparisons.

So? Any other verbs that bring unfortunate imagery?

Comments

[emrinalexander.livejournal.com]

You know, I spend an unhealthy amount of time looking at photos of both Joe Flanigan and David Hewlett.

I never seen Joe looking hollow-eyed and anorexically thin, ever. He looks like he lifts weights some and runs and skateboards, and he's trim, yeh, but no, he doesn't disappear if he turns sideways.

I have yet to see David anything other than a mormal weight, thirty-something, six foot tall guy who doesn't go to the gym 7 days a week - i.e., he's not "ripped" but he's just a nice normal weight, thanks. He did put on some weight mid-way through first season, but we're talking like 10 pounds, which is gone now. Get over this fanon absurdity, people PLEASE.

Verbs of Disturbance: Screamed. As in "Oh, you are so good!" Rodney screamed. I'm sorry, in my neck of the woods screaming denotes large spiders or attacks by armed gunmen, it doesn't not denote someone raising their voice a bit to say something emphatically. If someone is screaming loudly while having sex in my house, I'm calling 911, seriously. SO this must stop. Also, enough withe the coming so hard they pass out completely. Think about that - you're having sex, your partner screams and then IS OUT COLD. Man, anybody who did that to me would wake up in the ER.

Vocabulary abuse?

[mrlnpndrgn]

Just to cheer you up : court-marshaled...

I had never seen this one before now (and I could have lived happily ignorant till the end of times).