seperis | (no subject)

seperis: I found smurf porn
seperis: Please hold me.
svmadelyn: weakkkkk.
svmadelyn: come on, i've read the papa smurf getting it on with the evil wizard guy story
seperis: GARGAMEL?
seperis: HE IS--
svmadelyn: yes, that is his name.
seperis: THEY ARE DIFFERENT SIZES!
svmadelyn: it was more of a double drabble thing
svmadelyn: he spent all that time chasing the smurfs
svmadelyn: because papa smurf was the one who'd gotten away.
seperis: I need therapy now
svmadelyn: I would have thought fandom had broken you of such things ages ago
seperis: You'd think so
seperis: But no.

Hmm. I *could* be writing. But I am googling ALF after reading tantalizing hints of Alf erotic art.

You know, I really feel I am doing something useful for fandom here. We should have a once a month competition to find ways to make us wish we could pour acid in our own eyes rather than know that such a fandom exists.

*thoughtful* Seriously. Alf porn. I want you to all think about this very seriously.

I'm still scarred from the discovery that Dukes of Hazzard slash exists. I don't think I will ever recover.

There there. I can only be shocked there is not more Duke Boys/General Lee (the car). OT3 totally.

Oh god, there probably is, especially considering Supernatural being so big right now.

I just had the terrible thought of Fantasy Island slash. Excuse me, I have to go drink heavily before I find myself googling it.

Hmm.

We should google for it. *thoughtful* Just to see.

You go ahead. I'll be over here in the corner, curled into the fetal position and rocking gently.

I would totally hit that.

I'm not at all going to admit that I had a huge crush on Luke Duke when I was eight years old.

Did I post that out loud?

Um, it's okay to be hot for yee-haw rednecks when they're actually Hollywood stars pretending to be yee-haw rednecks. < / ass-covering new rule >

Simon and Simon was the first I ever heard of brotherslash. Wasn't sure what to make of the slash genre after that.

Would it even be a competition if I were playing?

I think someone could beat you.

Reeeeeeealllly now. That's rather the equivalent of throwing down the ol' gauntlet, you realize?

I know where the ALF/cat innuendo is! Oh yes I do! And Muppet porn, too. I am a dirty (http://haldoor.livejournal.com/34598.html), dirty (http://kaige68.livejournal.com/38703.html) girl.

You? You awe me. I totally bow before the master here.

Can I take credit for having very, very sick friends? Sure I can. Heh!

*Why* did I read this?

My Alf (*cries* I didn't know I had an Alf muse . . . I wish I still didn't know . . .) can't decide if he wants to screw (and yes, with the way Alf is built in that area it would *screw*) or eat Miss Piggy and I am refusing to point out that in some circles it's the same thing.

:::pause:::

You know, I think Alf secretly prefers Kermit except he really dislikes his skinny legs . . .

I need to go read some good McShep porn 'cause I'm feeling all traumatized now.

wow. Alf/Miss Piggy. A pairing whose time has *come*.

*sympathizes* I think I reached clinical insanity tonight. It's pretty here. There is no logic. Just darkness.

Oh god. At first I thought ALF was an acronym, and I was trying to figure out fandom you were talking about. But then I realized, no. Alf. The puppet, which I found odd, but I was not really surprised. And then I realized that I was not surprised at the idea of Smurf/Gargamel porn either, and... What has fandom done to my brain?

Fandom destroys us all. *nod*

ALF stands for "Alien Life Form", so yeah, 'tis an acronym. His real name is Gordon Shumway, which we found out on the sitcom, and was expanded upon in his Saturday morning cartoon show, which detailed life with the Shumways on Melmac before it was destroyed. I wasn't surprised years later when I read Glenn Gordon Caron's bio (he was a staff writer for the sitcom) and he said the writers were all high when they wrote the show.

Once a month? Once a week.

I'm worried about everyone's livers during the lightning round. I don't think it can be done without copious amounts of alcohol.

I've already discovered Archie porn and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles porn. I don't know if I could find anything that suprises me anymore.

Fandom is such a beautiful thing. *wipes away a tear of blood*

Archie, like Betty-and-Veronica's Archie? The surprise would actually be if there WEREN'T porn for that comic book. Betty and Veronica so clearly want to get it on.

...I'm the only one who thinks that? I'll just hide over there.

Yes, that comic. Actually, what was really disturbing was that it was Dilton/the principal slash. . . . But now I'm really curious about if there's Betty/Veronica slash. I would totally read that.

. . . I'm a sad, sad person.

One of the very first pieces of written pornography that I ever found on the internet, lo these many years ago, was a story about the only girl Smurf and what sort of things happened to/with her...I almost wrote the internet off as Too Disturbing For Reals after that. You're telling me there's MORE smurf porn? That's it, I'm getting off these here internets. Too scary for me out here. *g*

I'm blaming tonight's nightmares entirely on you. *shudder*

ALF.

*ponders* How much have I been in fandom where the existance of Alf porn and Smurf porn causes absolutely no suprise.

Of course, I've also read Daffy Duck/Bugs Bunny fic. So really, anything can be porned. *nods*

How about WWF wrestler porn?

Scarred for life!

Considering that there are a ton of male smurfs, but very few female smurfs, iirc, their sex life must be either very kinky het harem sex, or very gay, or both. In any case since there is a baby smurf some sex must have happened at some point... (okay, so officially it's the stork for male smurfs and magic blue earth for female smurfs origins, but still, they kiss at least)

Actually when I was little and collecting smurf figures and reading smurf comics (the tv series came much much later) I already used to wonder about the male/female ratio. Though actually I think the female smurf came years later into the smurf comics.

I mean, originally the smurfs appeared as minor characters in that other comic series Peyo was doing since 1946, Johan et Pirlouit, and in 1958 the smurfs appeared there for the first time in La flûte à six schtroumpfs (um yes, I actually have a special edition zine on the history of the smurf comics and Peyo's biography...) At first there were only male smurfs (who like I mentioned officially are brought by the storks that they also travel on) and the first female smurf was made by the evil Gargamel to sow dissent among the village. I think later the mythology was expanded to allow female smurfs also to be created my magic from special earth or something.

seperis: THEY ARE DIFFERENT SIZES!

*dies*

I am dying from your very serious John icon telling me to think seriously about Alf porn. A LOT.

So, last night I found the one where the crew of Firefly had a milkrun (something about dropping a piece of jewelry down a volcano) and needed to set a course for Middle Earth-that-was.

It took me 10 minutes to start breathing normally again.

Whyfore must you vex me so with your ALF and your hideous kinky smurfs???

Lest anyone think I'm making shit up:

Mordor, She Wrote (http://www.livejournal.com/community/fireflyslash/3650.html)

It's a quick read. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

It is obvious you have been sheltered ;)

I still think the Carebear BDSM from Yultide kicks ALF porn ass...

Though I think the Carebears broke my brain because I've had the oddest craving for a Rainbow Bright slash story between the rainbow horse and Onyx (the black machine horse) even since I read it.

Smurfs?

Smurfs.

Oh, dear God.

And I thought fandom had hit an all-time low when I discovered that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were featured on crack_van. (Because, yeah. TURTLES.)

*sporks eyeballs*

seperis: I found smurf porn
seperis: Please hold me.
Dude, share!

Same for the erotic Alf art. (Alf/cats = OTP, yo!)

Fandom has stipped away every sense of shame. :D

Behold the Power of Goofus and Galant slash (http://community.livejournal.com/verywrongslash/507.html)!

Was the smurf porn the one about the annual smuckfest that happens because condoms don't come that small? Because a friend passed that along to me and I saved it and then a few years later showed it to some friends for whom that is now my goatfucking moment* because they included it in my bio on our RHPS cast website.

*Ask

vulgarweed. Or ask me in another comment.

...someone just emailed me a link to math porn.
http://www.student.uu.se/studorg/mobius/?sida=hist1

Three words: "Care Bears Gang-bang"....

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seperis

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If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
. -- Unknown, on feedback
BTS List
That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
AIM, 3/25/2004
Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
Twitter
I will unashamedly and unapologetically celebrate the joy and the warmth and the creativity of a community of people sharing something positive and beautiful and connective and if you don’t like it you are most welcome to very fuck off.
-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
Twitter, 6/19/2019
Adding for Mastodon.
-- Jenn, traceback
Fosstodon, 11/6/2022

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Base style: Open Spaces by seperis
Theme: New Green by seperis

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Page generated Jun. 12th, 2025 06:56 am

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